Shudder
by Lycan.Kallias
Summary: AU NaruGaa. Life isn't easy for Naruto. Taking care of a child wasn't his dream. Life isn't great for Gaara either. Turning tricks just to stay alive wasn't what he wanted. What could one act of kindness start between them? -not as angsty as it sounds-
1. Chapter One

**Just for the record, I HATE the 'holidays' with a passion... Anyway, to get out of my 'bah humbug' mood. I worked a bit on this and decided I wanted to post it finally. **

**Note: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, a grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which i love more than anything), some OOC-ness and a tiny bit of a love triangle.**

**Summary: _Shudder  
_Life isn't easy for twenty year old Naruto.  
After their parents died over two years ago, he's been taking care of his three year old brother Konohamaru, putting his own dreams on the back burner.  
Life isn't exactly wonderful for seventeen year old Gaara either.  
After running away from an abusive home at age fourteen, he's been living on the streets, selling his body just to stay alive.  
What could these two possibly have in common?  
And what could one act of kindness start between them?  
AU. NaruGaa.**

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**Chapter One  
**

_-Naruto-_

Pain exploded across my forehead making me shoot straight up. "Ah!" A child's voice cried out ans a weight flopped on to my legs. I reached down and scooped the little body into my arms. A giggle exploded through out the room as I covered the tiny face with kisses. "Sowwy!" The voice shouted and laughed as I reached over and turned the bed side lamp on. The three year old smiled brightly up at me, big eyes wide awake and happy. He laughed again and smacked my forehead with his sippy cup. "Juice!"

"What're you doing up so early?" I yawned out, spotting the time. Three am. I'd only been asleep for four hours. He whacked me again. "Owch!"

"Juice!" He cried. I caught his hand as he swung it forward again.

"Don't hit Konohamaru. It's not nice." I scolded taking the plastic green and white froggy cup from his tiny hand. He pouted until I sighed, kissed his forehead and got up. "What kind of juice?"

"Up! Up!" He chirped. I picked him up and headed for the kitchen. He snuggled into my chest happily.

"Don't suck your thumb. Now what kind of juice do you want?" I asked again, pulling the tiny digit from his mouth. He looked up at me, face concentrated, tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. I smiled and walked to the fridge. "We've got orange, apple, strawberry banana, and white grape peach." I yawned again and twisted the lid off his cup while he thought about it. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep away the rest of the night.

"Peach grape!" He exclaimed. I smiled, filled the cup, made him go to the restroom and took him to his own room. "No." He whined, clutching at my pant leg. I picked him back up and asked him what was wrong. "Don' wan' be 'lone." He sniffled and rubbed his tiny fists against his eyes. My smile fell a bit and, not for the first time, I wished he had a mother figure of some kind. My arms wrapped tighter around him.

"You can sleep with me tonight, but you are sleeping in your own bed tomorrow. Alright?" He nodded, but we both knew he'd be in my bed again tomorrow, and the next night, and the next. I don't know why I even try. He's always slept right next to me. Ever since he'd been born. I walked us back to my bedroom and laid down with him still in my arms. He let out a small sigh as I turned out the lamp and snuggled closer. "You spill that juice and you're sleeping on the floor." I mumbled softly letting my eyes drift shut.

Just as the sandman began to pull me under, Konohamaru's frightened voice pulled me back. "There's man! Papa, man!" He pushed himself back into me. My eyes snapped open at the sound of the slow clanging footsteps on the fire escape just outside our window. I quickly rolled us over, placing the frightened brunette on the floor between the wall and the bed, securely out of view. I got out of bed and walked to the window quietly, reaching to slide the lock into place. I froze.

A rumpled looking red head gazed up at me from the level below. His beautiful shock of crimson hair fluttered to his shoulders, making his skin a beautiful translucent white. His build was petite and frail, almost sickly looking as he haunched forward, clutching his stomach. The clothes he wore were ratty and looked as if they were too small, clinging to his body indecently and suggestively. But his eyes... his eyes were cold, dead, and defeated. Despite their unique and lovely color, they screamed unloved and abused. That's when I recognized the look.

Prostitute. I blushed a little and pulled back a bit. He smirked at my window before continuing down the rest of the metal stairs. I swallowed and tried to calm my furious heartbeat. What the hell was my deal anyway? I'd seen them before. Fuck. This neighborhood was crawling with them. But this was the first time any of them struck me as beautiful. I let out an uneasy breath and shuddered. A guy? Beautiful? Yeah, that boy was beautiful.

"Cogapher?" Konohamaru asked, peeking over the side of the bed, eyes wider than usual. I think he was asking if it was a robber or killer. I smiled at his nonsense and walked back to the bed, lifted him up and burrowed into the still warm bed with him.

"It's alright. There's no one out there anymore. I scared 'em away." I whispered, kissing his forehead. "Now shut your eyes and go to sleep." He began chattering unintelligibly, obviously arguing at my apparent ease at the fact there had been a strange man just outside our window, that much I could gather. The argumentative babble didn't die down until I began humming his lullaby. As the clock beside us lit the room dimly, displaying the early hour of three thirty six proudly, we both slipped into a sweet sleep.

-

"Naruto? Hey, Naruto." I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and pulled Konohamaru closer to me, rolling away from the light and the soft touch. I clung to the sleep still hovering over me, trying to get it to cover me once more. A sigh sounded out next me and a little fingertip poked at my cheek. I frowned and tried to block all the irritants out. If they would just leave, the warmth of the blanket covering me and the quiet of the morning they were interrupting would surely let me return to true sleep. Lovely lovely sleep.

"Wah!" I yelped as my comforter was pulled away, the tiny body was grabbed from my arms and I was shoved to the floor with a loud 'oof!'. I laid there for a moment letting the freezing temperature of the hardwood floor seep into my warm body, blinking up at the pink haired woman standing above me. She glared down at me playfully, holding a sleepy looking toddler gently in her arms. "What the fuck Sakura?"

"Fuck!" Konohamaru chirped, clapping his hands. "Fuck!"

"No, no! That's a bad word. We do-" I jumped to my feet quickly.

"Fuck!"

My hand covered his mouth, my brain scrambling for a clean up plan. "If you promise not to say that bad word anymore, we can have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight. Okay?"

"Yeah! Me'ball!" I smiled and ruffled his hair. Ah. The great power of bribery.

"Now that that's over... In twenty minutes, you'll be late for work." Sakura stated calmly. I jumped and looked at the clock. Fuck. She was right. I gave myself five minutes to get ready and the rest to race downtown. I stripped down to my boxers, ignoring the squealing protests of the woman, dodging the fist she swung at me, and hopped into my clothes. I had my teeth brushed, face washed and the coffee the pink haired woman had ready for me downed in three minutes. I kissed Konohamaru, thanked the nanny holding him and ran down to the car. Yeah. To bad this was our regular morning routine.

-

I ended up making it to work with four minutes to spare. My body sore, I walked into the apartment, announcing I was home loudly. I heard little feet running for me and smiled, kneeling down and opening my arms. Konohamaru ran into them and I blew a raspberry into a chubby cheek. He laughed and wiggled in my arms. "Papa!" He cried happily.

My heart fell and I tried to keep my smile in place, correcting him as best as I could. "Brother kiddo. I'm your brother." He looked at me quizzically.

"Go work like papa." He smiled as if that settled everything.

"No use arguing with him Naruto." Sakura smiled from the living room, picking up brightly colored toys the little one must have lost interest in when I walked through the door. I set him down on the floor and helped Sakura with his mess. He picked up a cloth book and looked up at me. "You're the only father he knows. It's natural for him to call you 'dad' or 'papa'. Kids often call babysitters and **nannies** mom. It's all about who spends the most time around them and takes care of them." I didn't miss the emphasis she put on nanny. Hell, it would've been hard to miss. Konohamaru didn't miss it either.

"S'kura." He stated boredly. I tried not to laugh as the womans face fell.

He smiled up at me as I took the book from him. "Go find your boots and coat. We've gotta go to the store." He tilted his head back and smiled again. "We don't have any spaghetti noodles." His face lit up and he ran to his room. I chuckled.

"You know... I'm still waiting for that date." Sakura whispered, hand coming to rest on my forearm lightly. I swallowed nervously.

"What date?" I tried sounding innocent.

She smiled and leaned in closer. "The one you asked me to go on two years ago."

Fuck. "I've gotten pretty busy lately... trying to take care of my little brother and everything."

"Uh-huh." She kept coming closer and I remained frozen. I was just going to have to be blunt about it then.

"Look Sakura," Okay, how do you tell your childhood friend and first crush that you really don't have time for her? And ever since she turned you down brutally you really don't care to date her anymore. "I do-"

"Ready!" Sakura jumped back as Konohamaru burst back into the living room. I scooped him up and walked with the blushing pink haired woman to the door. As all three of us stepped into the hallway, for one brief moment, I imagined the three of us looked very much like a family. We walked down to the sidewalk together, Konohamaru in one arm, Sakura lightly holding the other. We paused for a moment and stood there awkwardly.

"Sakura. I real-"

"Do you mind if I go to the store with you guys? I need some things and it'll be funner to go with you guys." She cut me off on purpose. I nodded and zipped up Konohamaru's thick coat and began walking towards the corner store. He shivered and buried his face in my neck. I laughed.

"We gotta fix that kiddo. That tickles." He laughed. The small talk continued blandly the rest of the way. Sakura throwing date ideas and days she's free out at me. Konohamaru interrupting every time she got close to actually asking me out. Unsurprisingly, Sakura was a bit pissed when we finally walked through the door. "Yeah, yeah. So, what kind of sauce do you want?"

-_Gaara_-

It was one second. Our eyes only met for just one second and only one. So why couldn't I get that wild golden hair, bronze skin, and those deep crystal blue eyes out of my head. Eyes that, despite the momentary fear that widened them, shone with a genuine kindness and love. It made me shiver. It made me long. I pushed the man to the back of my mind as I stumbled down the littered alleyway. My head swirled angrily forcing the blue eyed beauty to swim dangerously in and out of my thoughts. My stomach seized and I emptied it's contents violently on the concrete beside me.

After the episode passed I continued forward. I had to find somewhere dry to spend the night and, since I was vomiting everything that I swallowed for the past few days, getting picked up probably wasn't going to happen.

My stomach seized again and I leaned over, worried my dry heaving might turn into something more. I groaned, heaved a few more times, stumbled towards the street before darkness overcame me and I fell forward.

I didn't even feel myself hit the ground.

-_Naruto_-

"Papa!" I sighed as Konohamaru raced back to me, the loaf of French bread he had begged to carry thumped against his head with every step. I bit back my laughter and took the bread when he got within my reach. "Papa!" I started to correct him again but the frightened expression on his face stopped me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, both hands on his shoulders, Sakura taking the groceries when she felt the mood change.

He turned and pointed to the alley. "Dead!" I gulped and picked him up. It was usually just a dead dog or cat, but in this city I was always worried one time he would find something bigger than a lost pet... "Dead." He whispered as we go to the mouth of the small littered alley.

Okay. This was a **lot** bigger than some dead pet. My hand flew up and shielded Konohamaru's eyes and passed him to Sakura. Fuck. Her eyes widened and she turned away, covering the little boys eyes as well. I walked forward and recognized the body as that of the red head from last night, flat on his stomach and even paler than before.

His chest moved. I paused. He was breathing. I took a deep breath. "He's not dead." I called back to the others. The smell of vomit made me gag as I moved closer. The smell got worse and worse the closer I got. Turning him over gently, I placed a hand on his forehead. He was burning up. "He's sick though." I looked around. There was a pile of vomit lying ten feet away. I gagged again. I could take him to the hospital... but that would only cause someone in his situation more trouble. My conscious wouldn't let me leave him here either.

I looked back at my baby brother. He smiled. Sakura frowned as if she knew what I was thinking. I sighed. Placing my arms under his knees and neck, I lifted him easily. He weighed next to nothing. Sakura started to protest, but I stopped her. "I can't just leave him here." She bit her lip and nodded. We started back for the apartment. One unconscious red head added to our little group.

By the time we made it to the apartment, I was ready to collapse. Sakura tried to protest several times, trying to get me to reconsider. When she brought up the fact I was putting Konohamaru in danger, I growled and she mumbled her goodbyes awkwardly, kissing the little boy on the forehead, and slamming the door angrily on her way out. Yeah. I **love** that woman.

I put the shivering red head on our bed, my body was glad to be rid of the extra weight. "You go watch cartoons. I'll fix up our guest and we'll start making meatballs."

His face lit up. "Me'ball!" He cried running from the room. I smiled, put the groceries in the kitchen, grabbed a bucket and a cool wet towel, and returned to the room. Mopping his forehead, I took in his condition. He looked dangerously thin, waif like, even more than I had thought. He was paler in the light and the red tattoo on his forehead glowed. He really was beautiful... even if he was sweating like crazy and shivering as if he was dying. I sighed. I was way too tired to deal with this right now. I put the rag over his heated forehead and placed the the bucket next to the bed near his head. He groaned painfully as I shut off the light and walked back to the kitchen.

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**This story is pretty much obvious from this point on... but I'd still like feedback.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Note: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, a grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which i love more than anything), some OOC-ness and a tiny bit of a love triangle.**

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**Chapter Two  
**

-_Gaara_-

I didn't have to open my eyes to know I was somewhere I'd never been before, to know I wasn't dying in the street. I felt warm... I felt safe. My eyes finally forced themselves open and I froze. Two big brown orbs were locked on me. The little boy smiled when my eyes opened all the way and waved happily. 'Where the hell am I? And how the fuck did I get here?' The last thing I remember, I was vomiting my guts out and passed out in a dirty alley. That left only three options. I was either picked up by someone really nice, or I had finaly wandered into my perfect fairy tale life... or some really fucked up weirdo had found me.

The toddler bit his lip and scooted himself forward on his chair. I shoved myself back quickly. He tilted his head bit and pushed a glass of water towards me. I sat up and moved away from him, careful of my still queasy organs. He straightened his head, smile falling a bit. "Where's your mom kid?" My hoarse voice made me wince internally. I sounded like sandpaper felt. Dry, scratchy, and painful.

"Me no mama," He gave me a giant smile. "but papa saser dink wa'er affer be ickies." He smiled brightly again. I didn't move. The kid seemed to get frustrated and ran from the room. "Papa!"

"Konohamaru," A gentle voice answered "don't yell so early in the morning. Sheesh." A high pitched giggle was joined by a deep chuckle. The child babbled on and on in a language I didn't even try to understand.

The window caught my attention, fire escape visible. I moved to get up, but my stomach tossed. My hand flew to my mouth and I swallowed several times. I couldn't puke here.

I couldn't.

My body could. I leaned over the side of the bed and vomited violently. I noticed a bucket someone had placed next to the bed and tried to get it all in there, but missed. Clear yellow stomach bile splashed loudly over the pale hardwood floor. I tried desperately to keep it quiet, but there's no way to silence that kind of shit. Seconds after I started, gentle hands swept my hair out of my face. "Go get a rag and a towel kiddo." I heard little feet running away and briefly wished I could follow them out and escape. Puking? Embarrassing. Puking in front of a nice guy? Ten times worse. I tried apologizing, but the second wave hit me and I couldn't breathe, let alone talk.

I sat there frozen after it all ended, afraid it was going to start again... Afraid to look up at the man behind me. The kid returned and held up the rag for the person behind me. "Tasstnok?" A tanned hand grabbed it.

"He'll be fine. Go wait at the table." The hand ruffled the kids hair, tossed the towel over my mess, then guided me back down. If I hadn't already puked... I would've from embarrassment at that moment.

The blue eyed beauty from the other night gazed down at me, concern filling his warm face. He wiped at my face with the soft green cloth, I would've protested against that in an instant if I had been in my right mind. I blame it on the fever, but I just laid there and drank him in with my eyes. His shoulders were wide and strong, muscles sleek and tight. The white tank top he wore played up his golden hair and brilliant blue eyes oddly, making one take notice of all the little details about him. The scars on his face. The crease between his eyebrows from worry. His long black lashes that created the perfect frame for those dazzling eyes. The slight off balance of his mouth that made him look mischievous. His long fingered hands worked at my face gently, obviously a father from the touch, while the eyes searched for something. My heart skipped a beat when his skin touched mine accidentally. The kid chattered on beside the bed. Even at this distance I couldn't make out a word he was saying. The man laughed, eyes closing slightly as his smile grew. My heart skipped another beat. "Quit being a weirdo and go sit down at the table."

"Leeoom!"

"Or the living room. I don't care." Little footsteps ran off somewhere and the guy smiled again, this time at me. "He likes you." He mopped up the sweat from my neck before using the cup of water to make it damp and laying it on my heated forehead. I shuddered. It felt really wonderful against the heat... at least that's the reason I gave myself. He grinned down at me gently before running the towel across the floor. "I didn't want to leave you out there, you really were burning up. You don't have to stay," He announced when my eyes glanced back at the window and fire escape. "but you've still got a fever and you're more than welcome to stay." He picked up the wet towel with two fingers and started for the door. "I'm Naruto and the little one is Konohamaru."

The door swung shut and left me in silence. I glanced back at the window before letting my eyes slide shut. 'He talks a lot.' The thought rolled through my mind lazily as I fell back into darkness.

-_Naruto_-

"Please tell me she was lying." Kiba announced as I opened the door. I raised one eyebrow and stood aside so he could come in. "Tell me the pink haired wonder was lying about you taking in some homeless guy." I rolled my eyes and shut the door. Count on Sakura to tell everything that would listen my business.

"Did the pink haired moron tell you the 'homeless guy' was a kid?" His eyes widened.

"So you did!?" His hands flew up into the air and he looked ready to bitch me out, but he stopped and looked at me. "A kid?" I nodded and leaned against the door as he unzipped his coat and let a pale puppy jump out. "Like a kid kid or a kid?"

"Once you decide the definitions for those terms I'll give you an answer." I grumbled and started for the kitchen. "He's a teenager, looks really young though... and he doesn't talk much, but that could just be because he's sick." Kiba threw himself into a chair dramatically.

"Oh he's sick too? That's lovely."

"Shut up."

"Make me." He stuck his tongue out at me playfully. "Now, daddy Naruto, where is my adorable brat of a nephew?"

"Keeping an eye on the kid. He seems to like him. I mentioned you were coming over and he totally didn't care." I felt Kiba glar at my back as I finished cutting up the tomatoes. "He's in the his room looking for that ball you brought over last time." I popped a tomato wedge in my mouth and set the plate on the table. Kiba made a face.

"Don't you feed the kid meat?" He poked at the vegetables as if they were going to jump up and attack him at any moment.

"Hey. He's the only kid I know who **wants **to eat vegetables. Don't jinx that dog breath." I smacked his hand away and bit into the carrot stick he touched. "Yuck. Keep your dirty paws off of it." I made a face. "I can taste every pile of shit you've rolled around in." Akumaru barked up at me and I tossed him the rest of the veggie.

"Chiba!!"

Kiba groaned loudly and smiled as the little brunette came running into the kitchen. He let him squirm onto his lap before lifting him high about his head. "Kid we've been over this a hundred times. It's Kiba. Kiba. Not 'Chiba'. C'mon. You can do it. Kiba!"

"Chiba! Owmaoo!" He cheered happily as the puppy jumped onto Kiba's lap happily. I had to smile at his happy face and loud ringing laugh. Konohamaru was growing up happily. That was all that mattered... Right? He didn't need a mom, didn't need someone he could barely tolerate running around, trying to tell him how to raise his pride and joy. That wasn't wrong at all... right?

"Okay. Eat your lunch then you can play all you want with Chiba and Owmaoo." Kiba sent another playful glare my way and set the three year old in the chair next to him. "So what brings you up our way today?" I asked as the little one attacked the broccoli viciously, as if he needed to hurry or Kiba would leave before he got done.

"Oh, y'know, pink haired monsters, cute three year olds and cars perfect for you." He listed off nonchalantly. He saw the look that settled on my face instantly and threw his hands up. "Don't say anythin'! I know what your gonna say. No it's not another iroc. It's my moms Mercedes. That black one she bought last year." I opened my mouth but he continued on. "I know what you're gonna say again. And yes you can afford it. She gave it to me for free, now I'm selling it to you for a reasonable fucking steal." He grinned up at me, seemingly proud of himself.

"You need money, don't you?"

His mouth flew open as if to defend himself before closing into a pout. "I do."

"So sell the car for what it's actually worth. Sheesh. It's only a, what, 2007? It's still worth a lot seeing as your mom probably never drove it very often."

"Listen yo-"

"Done!" Konohamaru shouted, hands flying into the air as if he had just won a race of some kind.

"Coolies. Maybe papa will let me take you to the park while he thinks over the generous offer Uncle Kiba has laid before him." Big brown eyes looked up at me hopefully. I really wanted to say no. It was still a bit too cold and the sun would be setting in a few hours. I really really wanted to say no... but those fucking eyes...

"Fine." I waited until Konohamaru's squeal of delight passed before speaking again. "But your coat and shoes stay on at all times. And you!" I turned and pointed at Kiba as my baby brother ran off to collect his things. "Don't call me papa. I'm trying to get him to stop sayin it and I don't need you aggravating it. Oh, and this time, please, if you value your life, keep your fucking cell phone on and in your pocket." He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Sure sure."

"Pak!" An excited three year old shouted running up to me, holding his zipper out.

I smiled and quickly got him ready. "Hug?" I smiled as he ran back and jumped into my arms. "Kiss?" A quick peck was all I got before he began squirming to get down. "Coat and shoes?"

"Sta on." He smiled.

"Good good. Now go have fun." I kissed his forehead and watched the two of them run out the door. As soon as I heard the door click shut everything deflated, every wall collapsed and every color faded. My smile withered away into a stoic line in a matter of seconds. Taking Konohamaru from me was like taking away my reason to smile, my reason to live. Being alone just made the overpowering feelings of nothingness feel ten times worse. For there was no reason to even fake a cheerful demeanor. My head tilted back and I stared absently at the ceiling before getting up to clean the house, my mind wandering listlessly.

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**This is coming along... slowly but surely... Ha ha ha! Next update: Sometime this year. Ha ha ha. Is that a joke?  
**


	3. Chapter Three

**Note: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, a grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which I love more than anything), some OOC-ness and a tiny bit of a love triangle.**

**For the record, the ages are as follows: Naruto: 20, Gaara: 17, Sakura: 21, Konohamaru: 3, Kiba: 22.**

**

* * *

****Chapter Three**

_-Naruto-_

I pushed the Swifer back in the closet and shut the door, mind still miles away, face still frozen in an emotionless state. I glanced at the clock above the stove... They'd only been gone an hour and I had already cleaned the house top to bottom. Fuck. I stretched numbly and walked to my bedroom to peek in on the redhead, trying to fit a smile on my face in case he was awake. I'd finally gotten it to look somewhat normal when a knock on the door forced me to turn right back around. Fuck and half, what now?

I peered through the peep hole and a stream of colorful words started through my head. "Just what I need." I mumbled as I pulled the door open. "Sakura. What can I do for you today?"

She put her hands on her hips and barged right in. "You can start by telling me that hooker is gone."

My smile cracked and my eyes narrowed. "He's actually sleeping and I'd appreciate it if you didn't call **anyone** in my house that ever again." Her eyes narrowed as I shut the door and pushed past her, heading for the living room. She followed me, her anger obvious by the way she stomped her feet and began muttering under her breath. I ignored her and flopped onto the couch, flipping on the tv and yawning.

"Naruto!" I looked over at her, pink hair pulled back in a ponytail, light blue jeans and a long sleeved dark pink shirt. All of it screamed she meant business. I sighed and leaned forward, elbows on my knees. "I can't believe you'd do something this stupid! I know you think you've got to take care of everybody and everything. You don't!" I rolled my eyes. "Do you even realize the danger you've put Konohamaru in?!" I bristled. "You don't take people in off the streets! You just don't!"

"Then somebody should start!" I shouted back, raising to my feet, my emotions getting the better of me. "That is a kid in there! A kid in a situation that probably can't go home even when he's so sick he passes out in an alley!"

"You leave them out there! If that's where they are that's where they're meant to be Naruto! I love you but you obviously have no sense of responsibility if you're bringing sick prostitutes into the same house with a three year old!"

The confession she threw in was lost as her other words slapped me in the face. "I am thinking about him." I muttered, eyes lowering to the floor.

She seemed to shrink then, hesitating. "Naruto you know that isn't what I meant..."

"Isn't it though? We walk past children selling themselves everyday. **Everyday**. I walk past them knowing there isn't anything I can do. That I can't help them though they need it the most. You've even said yourself you wish you could help them. And now I'm doing something. Even if it's just a little thing... I want to show Konohamaru you help the ones who need it, teach him that if you have the means then help... and you make it sound as if that makes me a bad father!"

"Naruto I didn't-"

"Leave." She froze as my eyes met hers again, narrowing instantly. "Get out."

"I-" She took a step forward, hand raising.

"Get out!" She jumped and whirled around, walking towards the door. I followed closely. "Don't bother showing up Monday. You're fired. I don't want to see you again." Her mouth fell open in protest, but I slammed the door. I stood there long after she'd gone, doubting myself... hating myself. A sick kid lay in my bed and I had just lost the cheapest nanny I'd ever find and one of my closest friends. What the fuck had I done? I rubbed my temples with my knuckles trying to get rid of the harsh pressure I felt building.

"You're... not a bad father..." A breathless voice whispered. My head shot up as a panting and sweaty redhead stumbled his way down the hall. "If... if my father... were like you... I wouldn't... I wouldn't even be in this... mess..." He panted out as I rose to my feet.

I slapped on my fake smile and walked over to him. "Hey kid, you should be laying down." I place a hand over his forehead and winced. "Woo. I think your fever's gone down, but it's still burning my fingers." I smiled weekly and pulled his weight off the wall and onto my chest. He stumbled and tried to protest with words I couldn't hear. "Where'd you think you were goin?" I asked as the progress only seemed to slow down and his feet unwilling to lift his body. "Mind if I pick you up?" He shook his head and kept his face lowered as I lifted him easily. "Now where were you goin?"

"I was leaving." He mumbled. "I didn't mean to start a fight between you and your girlfriend. I don't want to cause problems."

I snorted and pushed the door open with my foot. "You heard that." He nodded. "Sakura is not my girlfriend. She's Konohamaru's nanny. Er, was his nanny. Don't worry about a thing she said. You're not a problem." His face finally rose to look at my face, mouth slack and eyes wide as if I'd just said the most unbelievable thing he'd ever heard. "I mean, you're free to leave" I set him back on the bed. "but I think you should stay until you're able to walk on your own." I smiled again, pulling the thick blanket over his shivering form. He seemed to be lost for words and continued to stare up at me. "Is there anything I can get you?" He shook his head and looked down. A sudden thought hit me and I walked to the bathroom, returning with a bottle of grape cough and fever medicine, measuring it out and handing it to him. He tossed it back and haded the empty plastic cap, grimacing.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." I stretched again and turned to leave, but his tentative voice stopped me.

"Why?" His eyes connected with mine, confusion turning his beautiful eyes more blue than green. "Why do this... for someone like me?"

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared out the window. "Someone like you? I'm not sure what that means really." I felt he wanted to say something but I continued on. "You're human. You're a human being just like I am. We're the same. Circumstances gave us different backgrounds and different ideas, but you are still a person. Someone who needs help and I just happened to be there when you needed that help the most." I turned and gave him another weak smile. He didn't seem to know what to do. Big teal eyes looking at me intensely, an emotion I could not name rolling through them as he searched my face for something. I quirked an eyebrow and he turned away.

-_Gaara_-

I turned away, embarrassed, and fought to keep the blush I felt creeping onto my face. That was the first time in my life I had ever heard that. Not the part about being the same, not that we're both human. Those things too of course, but he had said I was not a problem. I felt tears begin to well and my heart speed up. "Do you think you can keep down some food or juice? You've got to eat." I shook my head and just gazed at him.

Though his words were kind and there was a smile on his face, something was off. Something was missing. I couldn't quite say what. There was a deep hurt in those beautiful sapphires he calls eyes, a hollow twinge. His smiles didn't light up his face like they had earlier. Maybe I had imagined the brilliant smiles? No. Those were real. So where had they gone?

I sat up determined. My head was still spinning but my stomach had settled down. I climbed off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of him. His blue eyes questioned me but I lowered my gaze and let out a low moan, hands resting lightly on his knees. I knew how to do this. The right moan could turn on any man or woman. My hands moved on their own accord, lightly trailing up his thighs as I kissed his hand. He sat completely still but I didn't dare look into his face. I never looked at the faces. I quickly unbuttoned his pants, my body rising, so close to his I could feel his body heat, and my hands slid into the loose jeans. Before they could get to their destination, they were pulled out hastily.

"What are you doing?" His words were low.

I didn't look up. I was suddenly so nervous I couldn't have if I wanted to. "Repaying you for your kindness..."

Silence spread through the room making my heart beat faster. What had I done? Was this wrong? I swallowed. That's when he began laughing. I glanced up as his body began shaking at the force of the deep chuckle. The feelings of shame and hurt washed through me. "You don't have to repay me kid." His hands let go of my wrists and they fell onto my lap. "Like I said, you needed help and I could give it." Those strong hands lifted me easily and put me back into the soft bed.

"Why are you laughing?"

The deep sound only grew louder. "Oh man. I haven't been seduced in so long I had no idea what the heck was going on!" I could only stare at him. His hand came down and ruffled my hair gently as he stood up. "Jeez kid, nearly gave me a heart attack." He gave me that hollow smile and pulled the blanket up to my chin. "You just lay here and get better. Alright?" I stared at him, shock wiping away my bruised ego.

"Gaara."

"Huh?"

I cleared my throat. "My name is Gaara."

He smiled down at me gently and nodded. "Gaara... Would you like me to get you anything to eat?" I shuddered as he stared down at me. I wanted to say no. I didn't want to take anything more from this man if he wasn't going to take anything from me, if he wasn't going to let me give the only thing I knew how to give... But my stomach gave a gentle protest. A blush set my face on fire when he smiled, showing he had heard it.

"I'll be fin-"

"PAPA!" A child's voice shouted from somewhere in the apartment, cutting me off, and I watched in amazement as the hollow look in his eyes vanished and his smile grew impossibly bright. "IS YOU?!" He looked toward the door, arms opening slightly as the tiny brunette flew through the door and jumped straight into his open arms. The small child fit right into them and nestled his face into the white shirt while the blond buried his face into the wild brown locks. I tore my eyes away from them as I realized I was intruding on a family moment.

"Damn. Sorry Naruto. I wanted to give you some down time, but the little bugger started crying and wanted to go home." A gruff voice explained as a shaggy man walked through the door. He was tall. That was the first thing I noticed about him. Not taller than the blond, but damn close. The next detail that caught my eye was the two red upside down on his cheeks. A small brown and white puppy jumped onto the foot of the bed and began sniffing me intensely. I froze.

"What happened?" The blond looked down at his son, pushing the hair from his eyes.

The boy shook his head. "Misseded you smell." He chirped and inhaled deeply, a large smile on his face. A warm laugh made me shudder again as the dog finally got to my head and began licking me. I sealed my eyes and lips shut as the slightly rough muscle covered my face with drool. Three sets of laughter exploded throughout the room and the dog was pulled from me. I reached up wiped at the lingering wetness. The laughter didn't die down as I finally opened my eyes.

The shaggy man stood beside me, holding the animal and smiling at me. "I don't care what Sakura says, Akamaru likes the kid and that's enough for me." He held out a hand down to me. "My name's Kiba." My eyes widened at that. To accept a person just because a puppy licked his face? My surprise must have shone because his smile just widened. "I trust Akamaru's sense over anything. He doesn't like many people." He coughed into his hand and slipped in the name Sakura again.

My rescuer smiled and hitched his child up onto his hip. "Speaking of Sakura..."

"Down?" The little boy scrambled out of his fathers arms and ran out of the room. The two men watched him go before walking to the door to keep an eye on him.

"What'd she do now?" My eyes started to close as the room began to spin again. I groaned internally and rolled over onto my side. At least I didn't feel like puking anymore... too bad I already made an ass out of myself. I mentally groaned again. He didn't want me to do anything like that? What did he want from me then? Nobody in this world does anything for free. Anyone who had ever helped me out before had wanted 'favors' from me. When the man pulled away from me, it threw me for a loop. What did he want?

"Konohamaru!" My eyes flew open as something cold was pressed to my forehead. The child was holding a juice box to my head. "Get over here!"

"But he no dink he wa'er! Juice is goo too!" The room instantly filled with gentle laughter and I was surprised to find I was chuckling lightly as well. The toddler beamed at me. "I's open you too. Dink! Is goo." I reached up and grabbed it from him, earning another beaming smile from the kid. I marveled at the similarities between his smile and his fathers. It was almost the exact same. I took a small sip and swallowed before downing the whole thing. It was good. Not the usual over sweetened juice that kids usually liked. No this was amazing. I turned the box and read the name. 'Mott's Strawberry Banana. Specially formulated for Toddlers.' I smirked. Apparently I like juice made for toddlers... "He dink it! All done!" Little hands clapped excitedly. I smiled down at the little one and he giggled before running past the older men again.

"Akamaru's always right." The man named Kiba laughed as the boy nearly toppled him over carrying another one. He climbed onto the bed and sat beside me, offering the juice once more. I took a tiny sip as he began chatting with me. I listened to him, trying to understand the words as best as I could as my eyes slid shut. I heard him say something about a woman S'kura before darkness wrapped around me.

My last conscious thought of the blond, Naruto, and wondering why he saved his smiles only for his son.

-_Naruto_-

I picked up Konohamaru carefully. Sometime during my chat with Kiba about why I didn't think a puppy was a good thing for us at the moment both he and the redhead had fallen asleep. The brunette had noticed them first, stopping my flow of words with a smile. I turned to see a sight that made me smile softly. They were both laying on their sides facing each other, heads tilted together, Konohamaru's hand resting gently on Gaara's. I almost didn't move him at all, but I remembered why I had brought the teen home in the first place.

"That was pretty adorable." Kiba laughed as I left the little boys room after tucking him into his own bed. I smiled and nodded, leading us to the kitchen. I poured a two cups of coffee before sitting at the table across. He took a big gulp and turned to me. "Now, what were you saying about Sakura earlier?"

I sighed and leaned back in my seat. "Fuck. We got into the argument... A shouting match really, over the kid." He nodded. "I fired her..." His eyes widened. "So now I've got to find a new nanny. Fuck. Do you realize how expensive that's gonna be? At least two hundred a week if I'm lucky!" My head dropped to the table with a loud bang, making the cups jump.

"It doesn't have to cost that much Naruto." I looked up at him.

"How ya figure?"

He laughed. "Dude. If you'd get a freakin storage unit and clear out that room. You could get one who'll take room and board and, like, I dunno, cheaper."

"Your linguistic skills amaze me."

He just stared at me. "Uh...?"

"A storage unit." I scratched at the scars on my cheek. "That's actually a good idea. Ugh. But I don't want to have to deal with some obnoxious woman twenty four seven... But then I could afford a nanny for Konohamaru and that bed is in there already... I wish I could afford some fucking daycare." My hand dropped and I sighed. "How much is a storage unit?"

He grinned at me from across the table and pulled out his phone, dialing a number without looking. "Hey ma... Yeah, listen. Did that guy come today? Really? Good. Naruto needs a space." He listened to the womans voice I could barely hear. "Coolies. I'll tell him." His grin grew and he shut the phone, laying it on the table. "Yer in luck my friend. One of the stalls in ma's old barn just opened up and we aren't doing anything tomorrow."

I couldn't help but smile at my best friend. He was always there during a jam. "How much?"

"Twenty bucks a month? Ma wanted to let you use it for free," I stiffened. "but I knew that wouldn't fly with you. So how 'bout half?" I didn't know what to say. I didn't have to. He just waved it off with a smile. "There isn't much stuff in there so I'm sure we could get it all out before noon and then you can start looking for that nanny before you have to work Monday."

"You're a life saver."

"It's the least we could do after all you've done for us." I smiled, knowing I hadn't done much. He sighed dramatically. "I guess this means you can't take the car."

"I heard Tenten was looking for a car last week." I stated, getting to my feet and walking to the room on the other side of the kitchen. Laughing slightly as he perked up instantly and jogging to join me. "If it's a reasonable fucking steal, she'll swoop it up in a heart beat. She's been saving for a while." I flipped the switch and gazed at the boxes. There weren't many. They mostly held my parents belongings that weren't displayed all over the house. Clothes, shoes, books and odds and ends I didn't dare sell. The bed and frame that had once been mine leaned against the wall, covering the window on the opposite side of the room. Konohamaru and I took the queen our parents once shared. "Guess we should start clearing this out."

He nodded and we each took a box.

Twenty minutes later the boxes were all stacked against the wall and my old furniture was set up. The desk, the dresser and the bed. I pulled the window open and the musky smell began to dissipate. I leaned out and turned my head. I could see my bedroom window and the fire escape clearly, but the brick wall stood right in front of it, ruining the view. I chuckled lowly as Kiba joined me, pulling out a cigarette. I reached over and took one as well. He grinned and lit the one dangling from my lips before lighting his own.

I sucked the harsh smoke down my lungs before letting it out with a sigh. We stared at the brick wall in silence for a few moments. "So. That kid..."

I stole a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. "What about him?"

"Where's he gonna go after he gets better?" I took another drag and blew it out.

"I was thinking of that too. He seems like a good kid. We were talking a bit before you and Konohamaru got back..." Goosebumps raised over my body as I remembered the feel of those soft pale hands on my body, the low moan he let out, the feel of those hands reaching down my pants... I shook the memory from my head. "Maybe I could convince him to call his family... or at least go to a shelter or something."

Kiba smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Dude, you haven't changed at all."

"Huh?"

He laughed. "Trying to save everyone from themselves."

I smiled. "Sometimes people need help."

He frowned a little. "You should listen to your own words." I raised an eyebrow, but he just shook his head and flicked his butt out the window. I dropped mine as well and watched it hit the ground. It glowed orange faintly before dimming into nothing. "So how are you gonna find a nan-"

"PAPA!" Konohamaru's frightened screech made us both freeze, faces horrified before flying out of the room, not stopping as boxes were knocked over. I could hear his sobbing before we even reached the hallway. I flung his bedroom door open to find an empty bed.

* * *

**O.O This is what we call a cliffy, yes? The way Konohamaru talks is kind of weird. I don't know how three year olds talk really, so I modeled his speech after my three year old brothers. Sometimes the words he says are easy to understand, but most of the time I have to work on it... Heh heh. **


	4. Chapter Four

**Heh heh. Manlove. Nice. That made me giggle like a nut. I was working on QM but this chapter wanted to be written so badly it pretty much kicked me and QM's asses. Ha ha ha!  
**

**Note: (_see chapter one_) **

**

* * *

****Chapter Four**

-_Naruto_-

'He's not here.' was all my brain seemed to put together. My heart kicked into overdrive. Where is he? Where is he?! I ran to the window but it was still locked. I turned around frantically and threw open the closet door. Not there. I tore from the room and ran to the living room. He wasn't there either.

"Naruto." I turned to Kiba's whisper and ran over to my bedroom door. The room inside was lit a pale pink from the setting sun illuminating the two figures on my bed like a dream. My heart stopped and quickened all at once. The little boy was nestled against Gaara's chest mumbling quietly, the red head's arms were wrapped loosely around the small body as if he wasn't sure what he should be doing, but still wanting to comfort the boy. Both seemed unaware of our presence and both were shaking. I gulped unsure of what to do. The scene was beautiful in my mind, I was sure it'd never leave my memory, but I wanted to rush to my child and calm whatever fear was making them shake. I chose to stay rooted to the spot.

A few words made their way to my ears. 'Glass', 'Owie', 'Dark', 'Scream', 'Water'. I knew exactly what had made my brother scream out for me in terror. I shivered watching the redhead stroke his hair and whisper something back. Something about this... something about this was... I walked into the room silently but both turned to me instantly, their eyes widened and afraid. Konohamaru lept into my arms as soon as I was close enough. I caught him easily and sat down on the bed as Gaara pulled his legs to his chest, watching us with those unique eyes. I smiled at him and he tentatively returned the gesture.

"You're awake now. It's okay little one. Don't cry." I whispered into his hair, my eyes sliding shut. His tears stopped after a few minutes as he hiccuped and looked up at me. I smiled down at him opening my eyes. He snuggled his face into my shirt and sighed 'Papa'. I didn't open my mouth to correct him this time. I could never figure out why he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and calling for me until he could finally voice his nightmares. But ever since he could I understood without another word. The dream would be a part of him until new memories or time made it fade and I was always ready to get him help if he needed it. I rubbed the scar hidden by his shirt sleeve and wrapped myself around him physically, mentally, emotionally.

The room was a light blue when Konohamaru finally announced he was hungry and tugged on my arm to indicate he wasn't getting off my lap and he didn't want me to put him down either. We shared a smile and turned to our neglected, and probably frightened, guest. I almost laughed when I realized the poor kid was asleep again, arms loosely encircling his thin legs, head tilted and resting on his shoulder. Konohamaru crawled off my lap and looked up at me. "Goo boy. Goo boy." He muttered, stroking the teens hair softly. I smiled, nodding and shifted the boy into a more comfortable position, laying him on his side because it seemed that's the way he liked to sleep. Once I'd finished, the toddler was in my arms once again. Konohamaru watched the boy as we left the room and I smiled, leaving the door open slightly.

Kiba and Akamaru were gone. A note scribbled on the fridge the only thing they left behind. _I'll call you tomorrow when we head over_. I opened the fridge, glanced down at the little boy in my arms and walked over to the phone. "Okay, we can have taco, rice or pizza." He tilted his head, tongue sticking out in concentration.

"Taco." He smiled. I returned it and looked at the notepad next to the phone for the number for his favorite Mexican place. After the call was placed, with Konohamaru reminding me to order something for our guest just in case, I put in a movie and waited for the knock on the door. The little boy lost himself in the world of Disney make believe known as _Peter Pan_ while we waited.

We ate in the living room, took a bath, got changed into pajamas and ended up switching out movies twice before he finally nodded off when I sang the lullaby I knew would knock him out. I smiled at his gentle noises of sleep, too loud to be considered breathing, too soft to be called snoring, and laid down, keeping him in my arms and on my chest, thinking about the 'Goo boy' sleeping in the other room. My thoughts bounced between him and my brother before I finally fell into a light sleep.

-

I awoke to the sound of laughter. I smiled sleepily and pulled my arms closer around the lump on my chest. My eyes squeezed themselves shut even tighter and my brow furrowed as I squeezed the mass in my arms three times. I finally opened my eyes and looked down, surprised to find a pillow in place of my toddler. I sat up and stared at the thing. Had he turned into a pillow? I squeezed it again laughing at myself as my brain finally made the connection. Apparently I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I stood and stretched, pausing when the laughter sounded out again. Following it down the hall, I stopped in Konohamaru's bedroom doorway, almost laughing out loud at the sight that greeted me.

The teen sat in the center of a circle of stuffed animals, guarding them by by growling at the laughing and smiling three year old who held a foam sword. Konohamaru swung at Gaara's arm, the redhead wailed in mock pain and folded the arm behind his back. The toddler swung the sword once more, conking the other boy on the head. Gaara dropped instantly and made exaggerated noises of death while Konohamaru squealed in delight. My laughter finally became too much for me and I let it free. The redhead blushed brightly as his teal eyes caught mine and shielded his face behind his hand, Konohamaru just ran to my side and attached himself to my leg.

"Gaawa pay dagon wif me!" He beamed, looking at me and Gaara in turn.

"I seen that. I think he makes a better dragon than Kiba." I smiled at the still hiding teen.

"He goo boy."

I nodded. "Yes. He is a good boy." Blue green eyes finally peeked out at me. "Why don't you find some clothes to wear?" I asked my brother, eyes still on the pale body on his floor. Gaara stood up, scooping up the stuffed animals and laying them on the bed before skirting passed me. I grabbed his arm gently as he tried to get by, forcing his eyes to meet mine in question. "Feeling better this morning?" He nodded wordlessly. "You must be dying to take a shower, I know I always am after being sick anyway. I know I've got some extra clothes that might fit you around here somewhere." He swallowed and just nodded. I smiled at him again. "Just down the hall." I watched him pad slowly down the hallway, footsteps almost silent on the hardwood floor.

"Papa, dis shir no fit..." I looked over to see the three year old, laughing at the sight of his head stuck in the arm hole of a backwards shirt. I helped him right his clothes before walking into my room, slightly shocked at the sight of the made bed before walking to my closet, looking around for the bag of clothes Sakura had left when she had to stay over when I had to work out of town for three days. I finally found it and dumped them out on the bed that was usually only made on laundry day. I chewed on my lip, worried that the boy would dislike being dressed in girls clothing, but brushed it off. These were the only clothes that would fit him. I picked up a pair of black pants, amazed at the size, and a white long sleeve tee. I folded them quickly and walked to the bathroom door, stopping myself when I grabbed the handle. That probably would not have the best of results. I knocked on the door and panicked slightly when I heard something thud inside.

"Gaara?"

After a moment the reply came softly. "Um... y-yes?"

I smiled. "I've got the clothes. I'm going to leave them right outside the door. Okay?"

"Thank you." was the soft answer. I placed the clothes on the floor with a smile and walked back to the room, shedding my own clothes and pulling on a new pair of boxers. I stared out the window silently, dreading the tasks I had ahead of me, when Konohamaru scrambled up onto the bed, jumping on it with glee.

"Papa!" I turned and smiled at him. "I lie Gaawa. He pay today?" I just smiled and turned back to my closet, pulling out some jeans and slipping them on.

I stretched and yawned. "Kiba's coming over again. I think his sister might be coming too. I'm sure she'd love to play."

He stopped jumping and stared at me as if I had insulted him, lip jutting out into a pout. "Buh I wan Gaawa pay." I opened my mouth to answer but the wail of Lies Like Me interrupted. I snagged a shirt and ran to the living room, flipping open the phone and tugging the blue and orange shirt over my head.

"Hello?"

"Hey. We're on our way right now." Kiba answered.

"What? No good morning honey bunch, sleep well?" He laughed. "Is Hana with you?"

"No, one of the horses is sick so she stayed home. Why?"

"Damn. I was hoping she'd keep Konohamaru occupied."

"Ask the kid to watch him. He seems to like the waif." I grinned at my friends choice of words, but frowned after it passed.

"I don't know..."

"We're pulling up now. Ma made you some posters for the nanny thing. We'll bring 'em up. See you in a minute." The line went dead. Fuck. I shut the phone and turned around. Gaara stood at the edge of the room while chatting with the talkative three year old. I was stunned by the sight. He was even more beautiful all cleaned up. I had been right. Sakura's clothes fit him perfectly. They weren't as tight as the clothes he had on when I brought him in but still tighter than the clothes I would've worn. His hair was even redder and skin even whiter, making his teal eyes glow and the dark circles around his eyes pop out. His eyes connected with mine before looking away quickly. I smiled, reached up and ran a hand through my hair.

"Gaara... Can I ask you a huge favor?" He looked up at me again. "I know you probably want to leave, but I was wondering if you could keep an eye on him for a few hours? I promise it won't be more than three and the person I thought would watch him isn't coming. Please?" My hands clasped in front of my face and I gave a slightly guilty smile. "I'll take you guys with when we drive out to Tsume's. Please Gaara?"

He looked shocked for a minute before Konohamaru chirped up, tugging on his sleeve. "Peas Gaawa?" The redhead looked down at him before nodding in consent.

"Of course." I beamed at them before jumping on the boy.

"You're a life saver!" I cried wiggling him around a bit before setting him back on his feet. He mumbled something and didn't look me in the face, before I could ask him what he'd said, Konohamaru pulled him towards the kitchen announcing he wanted 'Ho'ey Cheeo's' for breakfast, delighted that the boy had agreed to stay for a few hours. I smiled at the two before slipping on my shoes and walking to open the door. Kiba and his mother entered the room moments later, both greeting me with smiles.

Tsume gave me a hug and pulled back. "Geez. You will never stop growing will you?"

I laughed. "Maybe you're just getting shorter?" She punched me playfully before I led them through the kitchen to the back room. Gaara looked up from pouring Konohamaru's bowl of cereal and gave me a tiny smile. I returned it and waved. "Tsume, this is Gaara. He's watching Konohamaru this morning. Gaara, Tsume, Kiba's mom." The shaggy brunette woman gave him a wave and continued to the room while Kiba set a packet of fliers on the table and hurried after her. I turned to follow when I stopped as I realized something. "You've got to be hungry. Where's your bowl?"

Teal eyes met mine. "I, uh, it's, um..."

I smiled. "If you don't like Cheerios, we've got some sugar riddled stuff in the cupboard for Kiba somewhere."

"No, it, uh, I mean..."

"Gaawa no eet wif me?" By now the poor kid seemed to have no idea what to do. He looked so confused at the onslaught of two trademark Uzumaki 'innocently-badger-until-we-win' looks I let out a low laugh. His eyes met mine again, so flustered that it made my laughter just grow.

"You're pretty cute when you're flustered." I reached over and ruffled his hair as his pale face lit up a shade of red.

"Cute!" Konohamaru echoed, patting the boy on the leg. I smiled when he finally pulled out a second bowl and began filling it for himself. I watched them for a few minutes, feeling not one single shred of guilt for practically bullying the poor kid into eating. My smile fell to the floor and I hurried to the back room when I realized I had just called the boy cute. Kiba and his mother were grinning while loading up the dolly so I knew they had heard. Thankfully they both said nothing.

We made quick work of clearing out the room. I was surprised at how small it looked when we were done. Taking the boxes out made the small room seem empty and sad. A large hand dropped onto my shoulder and I turned to see Kiba giving me a sympathetic smile. I just grinned back at him before sending an elbow into his stomach. He countered with a hand to the back of my head. "Boys!" We both jumped and turned to see Tsume giving us an amused glare. "We're set to go. Why don't you get your boys and we'll head out?"

I smiled and nodded, heading for Konohamaru's room. "Hey. We're going now. You guys up for a car ride?" Konohamaru smiled up at me, but the redhead looked confused. "The place we're dropping the stuff off is just outside of town. Then we'll be done." I smiled again and waited for him to nod before leading them out into the main hall where my friend and his mother were waiting for us.

"Up! Up!" I looked down, shocked to not see my brother jumping at my feet. I turned to see Gaara lifting the boy into his arms. There was shock on Kiba and Tsume's faces, but I just smiled, not letting it show that that kind of stung a bit but still made me happy for some reason. The brunettes climbed into the moving van with a picture of a dog and the words 'Inuzuka: Moving and Storage' while I lead my group to the older Dodge behind it. Gaara had the three year old buckled into his seat without me having to explain the complicated system, making me quirk an eyebrow at him. He just shrugged and moved to strap himself into the seat next to Konohamaru when the toddler stopped him. "No no! You spot in funt nes to papa." We both stared at the child for a minute before Tsume honked and we both scrambled to climb into the car, me behind the wheel, Gaara in 'his spot' beside me in the passenger seat.

The drive took seventy minutes and we unloaded in half that time. I smiled slightly at the boxes stacked there fighting the wave of sadness that the sight of those plain brown cardboard boxes that held my parents things. True they just took up space and we didn't need them, but the things in them belonged to the ones who brought me into this world, the ones that gave me Konohamaru, the ones who loved me unconditionally. I shut the door and twisted the key, listening closely for the sound of the lock sliding home.

"Hey brat." I turned to see Tsume holding something. It was beige with red straps and strange marks... it took me two full minutes to realize it was an oddly decorated duffel bag. "Kiba didn't tell me much about that cute redhead playing with Konohamaru, but I did learn he didn't have many clothes. My brothers kid used to be about the same size and I still had some of his old clothes laying around. I was gonna give 'em to Goodwill or something, but..." I smiled at the woman and took the bag. "I don't know if they're his style or not, but they're better than nothing."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it." I slung the bag over my shoulder and reached over to hug her. She laughed and we walked out to the field the boys were supposed to be playing. My natural grin disappeared when I spotted them, a look of awe taking over. The last blue and white wild flowers of the year sprinkled the area around them magically. Gaara sat leaning against a tree trunk holding a large book, Konohamaru on his lap listening to the story Gaara was telling him, watching the brown, red and yellow leaves fall from the wide branches to the ground. They both wore crowns of flowers, my toddlers expertly put together while the teens was barely holding. Konohamaru reached forward and turned the page before settling back against Gaara's chest. Again, the beauty of the scene in front of me caught me off guard. "What are they reading?" I asked in a low voice, afraid the scene would disappear if I spoke to loudly.

"I don't know, but it must have been one Hana read to Konohamaru because he got excited when he seen it on the table and pulled the boy out here to read it to him." I could hear the smile in her words as she followed my example by whispering as well. A gentle hand grabbed mine and lead me into the trees. We circled around silently, hidden in the woods until we were behind them. We stopped at the tree they were sitting under still out of sight and listened to the soft voice.

"Bluer than the bonnets fair, that in the springtime bloom,  
Bluer than the berries round, unfairy-like in her gloom.  
For what could harm a fairy, whose essence is the light,  
Whose joy reigns unencumbered, through all the seasons bright?  
Might I, mere mortal, intervene to soothe her wing so torn?  
My flute inspired by fairy song, the notes aloft are born.  
Bluer than the summer sky, unmarred by threat'ning storm,  
Bluer than the bluebird's call, notes match her fragile form."

He paused to take a breath and I shuddered at the loss of his beautiful voice gently forming the sad words. I could hear the soft sound of his thumb on the paper. "I'm sorry Konohamaru. I can't make out the last few verses."

"It otay. Still petty. Where Papa?" Tsume gave me a giant push and I fell out from behind the tree, landing harshly beside them. There was silence as I laid there for a few moments before lifting my face from the ground and smiling at them. Two eyes looked at me, Gaara looking like he was having a heart attack, Konohamaru trying to figure out just where I had come from.

"Uh, what's up?" I grinned, scratching my cheek and trying to look innocent.

The toddler got over his shock first. "Papa!" He screamed happily, jumping up. I rolled over and allowed him to jump onto my chest. I looked up when I felt eyes on me. Gaara's eyes watched as Konohamaru began telling me about his day excitedly, most of it didn't stick. I was too busy staring right back at the gentle boy. He smiled at the little boy when he asked him a question and rose to his feet holding something in both hands gingerly. Konohamaru pulled on my hand and made me sit up. I looked up at the redhead questioningly before he placed another wreath of flowers on my head. "I maded it fo you!" He cried happily then pointed to his head. "Gaawa maded dis one fo me!" I beamed at the pair happily as the little one took the boys hand naturally, tiny hand only able to grab three slim fingers comfortably. "We go?"

I nodded and peeked behind the tree, not surprised to find the woman already gone. "Let's go say goodbye and we'll head home." I climbed to my feet, hefting the bag higher on my shoulder before the tiny brunette grabbed my hand. We walked in silence for a few moments until I felt the tiny hand let go slightly before leaving entirely, I reached out a bit further and gripped the still offered hand tighter. The fingers were colder and felt much different, but I squeezed them gently and watched the tiny brunette run forward. It wasn't until Konohamaru was a few yards a head of us did I realize what was wrong with the picture. It seemed Gaara just figured it out as well because we both froze and looked down at the same time. My face exploded with heat at the sight of my dark fingers loosely wrapped around a pale, slim hand. I pulled my hand back and stared at the red faced teen. He blinked once before walking at a quicker pace towards the jumping brunette at the edge of the old wood fence with three very amused looking Inuzuka's beside him.

I jogged to the five waiting for me when I realized I hadn't moved and inch. I hopped over the fence before helping Konohamaru who crawled under it, covering his shirt in dirt and grass. He ran over to the car and waved excitedly. The five of us walked to join him leisurely, Tsume and Kiba making small talk. As Gaara helped the three year old into his plastic booster seat I turned to face the family. "Uh... We're gonna head out now." I let the duffel bag be pulled from my grasp, not looking at who did it. "Thanks for the storage space."

"Naruto, can I speak with you for a moment before you leave?" I raised my eyebrows and nodded, turning to see Gaara place the bag in the backseat beside Konohamaru.

"I'll be right back." Both boys in the car nodded, my toddler smiling while Gaara seemed unable to look me in the eyes. Tsume and Hana lead me to the house a few feet away and into the kitchen. They pulled out some homemade preserves and a cooling pie before turning to me with disappointed looks on their faces.

"I thought you were looking for a nanny for Konohamaru." My eyebrows shot up again.

"I am." The two women let out frustrated groans. "Um... Are you okay?"

They both glared at me, arms crossing in front of their chests. Yeah, you couldn't tell these two were related at all. "And what's wrong with the one you've got?"

My brow furrowed in confusion. "I sorta fired Sakura-"

"Not that one you idiot!" I jumped as they both shouted. "That cute redhead!"

"Gaara? He's just watching Konohamaru for the morning, when we get back to town, he'll probably... leave."

"Where will he go? Kiba said he was homeless."

My eyebrows stayed scrunched together. "He is." The older woman slapped her hand to her forehead. "What?"

"Are you an idiot?" I nodded with a smile and abruptly received two hits to the top of my head. I rubbed the now sore area and stared at them. "We're going to have to spell this out for him Hana." The younger woman nodded, eyes shut in anger. "You," Tsume held out a hand, "have a room." Her other hand came up. "He needs a place to stay. You need a nanny. Konohamaru adores the boy."

Hana opened her eyes and looked right at me. "Not to mention you o-" The mother move one of the hands towards her daughter, who closed her mouth as they both smiled, seeming to share something I missed.

"You seen those two together. Konohamaru interacts with that boy, Gaara, better than he had with Sakura. And that kid obviously adores your son... I mean, your brother." It suddenly dawned on me where she was going with this. "You could help each other out. I don't think you'll regret it."

"I don't know anything about the guy, Tsume. What if something were to happen? I'd never forgive myself."

"You're a better judge of character than anyone I've ever met. Even better than Akamaru and Kuromaru, they love him by the way, and they're almost always spot on. You brought him into your home, you let him watch Konohamaru, I know for a fact you wouldn't let anyone you thought was dangerous come within ten feet of the boy." I closed my eyes as I listened. I hadn't felt any danger from him, I hadn't thought anything would go wrong and my brother did seem to love the kid, taking a shine to him immediately. I rubbed the area between my eyebrows and opened my eyes.

"I don't know."

"Think about it." She smiled at me and held out the pie and jars she usually sent with Kiba every week. "I'll kick your ass if you let him get away." She grinned devilishly sending a shiver through my body. I knew she could put me in the hospital if she really wanted to. You don't mess with the Inuzuka women. Everyone in the **state** knew that. I grinned uneasily and took them. "Go on now, we aren't gonna bite."

I gave her a look that I knew screamed 'oh really?' "You know you wanna." I smiled before hightailing it out of there. Kiba laughed as I stumbled on the stairs, ran to the car and threw open the door, scrambling inside. "Get in the freakin car before your mom and sister come out to kill me!" His laughter only intensified. Gaara undid his seat belt and moved to allow the shaggy brunette his seat when Konohamaru spoke up.

"No, tha you spot. Chiba sit wif me." The redheads ears turned pink and he held his head down as he re-buckled the seatbelt. Kiba just made a show of being huffy and muttered something about no longer being the favorite while throwing himself in behind me. I handed the pie over to the redhead that still didn't look at me and pulled out just as Tsume and Hana came shooting out of the front door, dogs running out with them. My friend threw his door open and let the smallest jump in before slamming it shut before the others could even leap off the porch. I shot them a peace sign before speeding down the driveway, keeping an eye out for any of the animals. Konohamaru squealed with delight as we hit a bump and one of the jars flew from the startled pale hands. I grabbed it before it could hit the floor and slowed down. Gaara looked at me in amazement as I handed it back to him, before turning back onto the highway. I just grinned at him turned on the radio.

"I'll think about it." I muttered under my breath.

-_Gaara_-

I was frozen in my seat as the blond expertly handled the car on the rough driveway, when the jar flew into the air and he caught it I was amazed at the speed and the fact he could do it while still maneuvering on the road without even swerving. When he handed it back to me and smiled, I couldn't breathe. My heart was still freaking out from the accidental moment earlier, there was no way I was going to get it to slow down now. My thumb moved across the fingers he had held softly. I hadn't even felt the hands change. One minute it was the adorable child's hand in mine, the next his fathers.

I turned and looked back at the toddler I knew I was growing attached to when he said my name in that sweet voice. He giggled and smiled his fathers smile before jabbering on in words I barely had to work at to understand anymore. I opened my mouth to ask him to ask the question he had just asked again when the wild brunette practically jumped over the seat when Naruto changed the station on the radio. "Wait! I like that band!" The dog crawled onto his masters head and licked my forehead making the child laugh.

"Shi-Dang it Kiba! Sit down! It's just a damn cover song!"

"Who cares? The songs good too! Right Konohamaru?"

"Yeah! Wight Gaawa?" The child smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Right."

"Wait a minute!"

"Majority rules! You lose! Suck on it **papa**." The brunette sat back in his seat when the station was finally where he wanted it to be.

Naruto glared playfully at him in the rear view mirror. "I thought I told you to stop that?"

"Hey, it's catchy. Besides, you practically are a papa." My eyebrows came together in confusion as I stared out the windshield, feeling I was missing something. I turned to voice my confusion but realized both the blond and his friend singing along with the male voice streaming from the radio. I saw Konohamaru's happy face from the corner of my eye and listened to the blonds voice. I closed my eyes as their sounds reached me. Kiba's was gruff, but perfectly balanced to the smooth voice of Naruto, each seeming to take the place that fit their voices best. The words themselves were beautiful, speaking of magic, fairy tales and love, but it was the way the pair sang it that made them come alive, putting the singers on the radio to shame. Without thinking, my hand reached out and turned down the volume on the radio slightly. They didn't seem to notice. When the song came to a close, I felt myself sink down in the seat in disappointment, but the next song started and they smoothly made the transition.

I relaxed against the seat and continued to listen, while my mind went back to the conversation the dog lover and I had when Naruto disappeared into the house.

"_Konohamaru seems to like you." I smiled softly and nodded. "He's cute isn't he?" I just nodded again. "You know... Naruto's looking for a new nanny. A live in nanny. That's why we had to clear out that room this morning." I froze, knowing what he was implying immediately._

"_I hope he finds one then."_

"_I thin-"_

"_He'll find one quickly. Single fathers never have trouble finding women for that." He looked at me quizzically. "People like me... are not trusted with children..."_

_He was silent for a few moments before opening his mouth again. "Then how do you explain him trusting you this morning?" Naruto had then burst through the door shouting at Kiba._

"Hey, you feeling alright kid?" I opened my eyes to see the blond glancing between the me and the road. I nodded and sat up straighter, feeling small. My head barely reached the top of the seat, while his was inches above it. He smiled and passed a car in front of us. I let out a soft sigh and looked out the window. He didn't _trust_ me with his son earlier, he was in a jam, I was there and he spied on us during that time, probably the entire time.

A loud snore sounded out from the backseat and made me visibly flinch. Naruto chuckled and glanced at the rear view mirror and turned down the radio. "Our backseat passengers seem to have fallen asleep." I felt myself blush lightly when he said 'our' but quickly forced it away. "Can I ask you something?" I felt hope rise in my chest before stomping it down and nodding. "What poem were you reading earlier? I mean, the one that had Konohamaru hanging on your every word when I came up behind you in the field?" Hope thoroughly squashed...

I thought back. "Broken Wing by Dorothea Barth." He nodded.

"What was that book?"

"I think it was 'Poems and Stories of Fairies, Pixies and Wonders'." He smiled again, glancing back at the two sleeping.

"He loves things like that. Magic and fairy tales... not magicians though. I don't really know why, but they terrify him." He laughed, unaware of how it made me automatically smile. "Learned that the hard way." He reached over and ruffled my hair. I scowled up at him and he just laughed again. "Sorry. Our dad used to do that all the time to me. Just kinda picked it up."

Confusion crept through my brain again, but I pushed it aside once more and silence spread throughout the car, only broken by the soft sounds of the radio and Kiba's snoring. It wasn't intended to be awkward, I could tell by the relaxed way the blond sat, humming gently, but it had me nervous as hell. I licked my lips and stared out the window without really seeing, thoughts going in a million different directions. "Where's his mother?" I sat straight up and sealed my lips together when I realized I had just asked my mental question out loud. My eyes darted to him. Cussing myself out immediately as soon as I seen the look on the blonds face. His mouth had fallen into a sad line. Fuck. What if she didn't just leave? What if she died?

His smile returned, but it was still sad. "Konohamaru's? She... died."

Oh fuck. Smooth Gaara. Real fucking smooth. Throw yourself out the door before you say something stupid. "He looks a lot like you. He's very lucky to have a father like you..." His head turned to face me abruptly, shock on his face. I punched myself in the face in my mind. I should've thrown myself out when I had the chance. The belittling in my head was interrupted when he began laughing softly.

"I'm not his father."

"But..."

"He calls me his papa and I guess I'll never change his mind that I'm not until he gets older."

"Sorry, it's just he looks so much like you. Is he from his mothers first marriage?" He smiled and shook his head pulling onto an off ramp that lead only to a motel and a gas station.

"Konohamaru is my baby brother." The realization kind of hit me like I should have know when he said he wasn't his father. Needless to say I felt like an idiot. "But... I like it when people think we **are** father and son..." He seemed sad when the words came out, but he shook his head and pulled into the gas station next to a pump, muttering something about the price of gas before turning the key and killing the engine. He opened the door and got out before reaching into the backseat and punching the snoring man in back. Kiba spazed out and sat up abruptly.

"Wha...? The fuck'er we?" He mumbled, stretching.

Naruto hit him over the head. "Keep it down. Konohamaru is sleeping." He made a move to step away, but reached out to smack his friend again. "And watch your mouth." The brunette jumped out of the car and made a move to punch the blond, but he just held him back and ducked his head into the car. "What kind of juice you want kid?" I opened my mouth to deny thirst, but he held a hand against my mouth. "I'm getting you something whether you want it or not, so you should just tell me what you prefer to drink or I'm coming back with a red bull." He smiled as I grimaced.

"They wouldn't have any of those Strawberry Banana juice boxes would they?" I asked after a minute of thinking. I was definitely hooked on those suckers.

He laughed and shook his head. "I don't think they would, but I know something along the same line. We'll be right back." I watched them disappear into the building, still shoving each other and jumping on each others backs, acting like a bunch of frat boys that would show up in the bars around the area I usually worked. That thought made me realize how young the blond looked. He couldn't be very old, no more than twenty two and already he was taking care of a child. Why hadn't that made me realize the kid couldn't be his? Well... parents were getting younger and younger these days... I wondered what kind of woman he dated, but shot that thought down as soon as it formed. Who cared? It didn't involve me at all, but try as I might I couldn't stop thinking about it. I growled and shook my head. Once I got away from the kid and his adorable brother... I mean the _man _and his adorable child! I would be able to think straight. Being saved by the blond was seriously fucking with my head...

"Here you go." I jumped as a bottle of juice was held out in front my face. "Whoops. Didn't mean to scare you kid."

Kiba laughed loudly. "Told you your face was fucking scary!" I heard him get whacked upside the head. "Ow!"

"Watch your mouth." The blond snickered as I took the bottle of organic juice. The brunette grumbled as he climbed into the backseat. We were back on the highway in moments, the men singing along to the radio while I just listened staring out the window. When we finally entered the city, a knot formed in my stomach. I didn't know why it was there, but it hurt... it made me sad. I felt the feeling climb through my body painfully as we got closer to our destination. What was this feeling? The juice I'd enjoyed earlier turned to stone and held me down.

"Dude drop me off here. I wanna grab a bite to eat before I go home." Kiba announced as we passed a bar and grill, while the puppy barked happily.

"What? I thought you were coming to help me with the damn fliers?" Naruto whined slightly, when the brunette passed my open window. He leaned down and stuck his head in slightly as the blond leaned closer to him over me.

"Nope. Gotta sell that car." There was a pause and a large hand clamped down on my head. "Gaara here said he wouldn't mind helping earlier though." The grin he sent me was pretty victorious. I opened my mouth to deny it, but I was cut off.

"Really?" The blond turned to me, face inches from mine. I felt my face heat up and couldn't do anything but nod like an idiot. "Awesome! For a minute there I thought I'd have to do it by myself." He smiled brightly as he sat back in his seat and waved at his friend. "See you later dog breath."

"Later moron." They both smiled, as if the words they just shared hadn't been insulting. I just sat there like an idiot, giving a slight wave when the man said goodbye to me as well. It was a short ride to the apartment complex, but when we pulled up I noticed the knot in my stomach had disappeared when I had agreed to help. I froze. The feeling had come from the thought I would be leaving the pair when we got back. Knowing I had a little more time with them made me... made me happy.

I grabbed the sleepy eyed child from the back as Naruto took the duffel bag. He gave me a curious look when I did it. I couldn't figure it out until we were starting up the stairs. He had planned on carrying the kid _and_ the bulky bag. Did I offend him by automatically assuming I should take the child? Fuck. So many mistakes in one day should be fucking illegal... "Papa... me an Gaawa hungy." Naruto laughed as he unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"Oh really? How do you know Gaara's hungry?"

"He tummy tol me." My face flared up for the fiftieth time and I didn't met the sapphire eyes I was pretty sure were looking at me as he stood aside and let us enter before him.

"It is lunch time. What do you want to eat?" He asked laughing.

I set him down and he ran to the kitchen. "Brok'lee an Mac'n'chee!" I raised an eyebrow at the broccoli part. What kind of three year old likes that green stuff? I joined Konohamaru in the kitchen and open the cupboard I remembered had boxes of Macaroni and Cheese. I pulled it out and set it on the counter before turning to get the vegetable from the fridge, but froze when I saw both of them staring at me in shock. Oh my god... I did it again! My arms snapped across my chest and I shuffled to the side, blushing as I went.

"I-I'm sorry! I j-just, I mean, uh, uh-"

The blond grabbed me by the shoulders and I quivered under his touch. "Calm down. It's fine. Breathe kid, breathe." I took several deep breaths and swallowed nervously. "It's okay. I didn't realize you knew where everything was. I don't mind at all." His thumb rubbed my shoulder gently, calming me down slowly. He laughed and gave me a smile that I saw Konohamaru give me as well. My shaking stopped when he reached up to ruffle my hair before he stepped away. "I actually wanted to look at these fliers before we put them up, if you'd cook that'd be great." He smiled again, taking a seat by the child. I smiled back, unsure of myself, and turned to open the refrigerator.

I set the water to boil, watching the water heat up and little bubbles begin to form. One half of me listening to the two chatter, the other half off in la la land. "I don't know, why don't you ask him." Naruto yawned out. I turned when a slight tug started on my pant leg. I smiled at the cute toddler and nodded.

"I dis many." He announced holding up three fingers. "Many is you?"

"I'm seventeen."

I flinched when a loud crash erupted throughout the small space and turned around. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing at the sight of the blond sprawled out on the floor, his chair on its back. He remained silent for a second looking over at us. He stood up and smiled sheepishly, an arm behind his head. "That's why we don't lean back in our chairs Konohamaru." He announced breathlessly while righting his chair and remained standing. I couldn't help it. I laughed. It was low and barely audible, but I could tell they could hear it because childish giggles sounded out below me and Naruto joined us with a low chuckle. Then Konohamaru said something that made me flush and turn back to the stove.

"Papa, Gaawa petty when he laff."

The blonds laughter just grew louder. I grabbed the broccoli, washed in the sink, face still on fire, and walked over to the cutting board, suddenly at a loss. Should I cut it? Most people cut it, but father liked his torn from the stalk... I wondered if I should just ask when Naruto spoke from just behind me. "Do you know where the knives are?" I shook my head and he grabbed one from a block in the cupboard. "Here you are." He smiled, offering me the knife, handle first. I took it and turned back to the broccoli I cut a piece off before I was stopped. "Konohamaru is pretty picky about his vegetables." He smiled and took my hands. I ignored my heart preforming acrobatics in my chest and tried to focus. "Like this." He said, slicing off a few pieces at a sharp angle. "I don't know why, but he won't eat them if they're cut in a straight line." I nodded mechanically and let him continue.

"Papa! Le Gaawa do it!" The toddler shouted. The blond stepped back, laughing.

"Sheesh. I was just helping bossy." I lifted the knife, ignoring the tingling in my hand, and continued cutting the way he had shown me.

"Is not."

I nearly dropped the blade as body heat against my back told me he was there again. A hand reached out and grabbed the straight cut broccoli before moving away to lean on the counter next to me. It took me a minute to recover before I decided there was enough and set the knife down. "Just drop it in after the noodles start to soften." I looked at him incredulously and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. The rest of the preparation went on in the same manner, me hesitating and him leaning over and helping out. By the time the meal was finished and eaten I was a bundle of nerves from his body being so damn close when I least expected it.

"Okay. We ready to hand out these fliers?" Konohamaru jumped up and ran for his room, returning with a coat. The blond ruffled his hair and zipped him up. We walked towards the door, stopping so he could pull out his own coat and hand one to me. It was too big on me and my hands didn't reach past the fur lined edges. They both got a good laugh out of that while I blushed, it only got darker as Konohamaru demanded his guardian button it up. Blue eyes sparkled with laughter while he complied.

We walked down to the street and started out. We stopped in several stores, putting up the insanely orange papers, tacking them on telephone poles and handing them to a few people. Naruto's phone went off several times and he promised to call them back the next day. I wondered about this as we worked our way around the area in a large square, the three year old riding on Naruto's shoulders, in my arms or walking between us holding onto both our fingers. The sky was growing darker and the street lamps buzzed to life when we started back. I fumbled with the wooden buttons of the barrowed coat as we got to their building, shrugging it off as we came to the door. I held it up and the man took it gently from my hands.

"Um, so I guess I should go... Thank you for... everything..." I mumbled not looking into his face.

"Go?" Konohamaru looked up from his place in his brothers arms, a sad look crushing the smile that had been there moments before. "No go! No! Peas Gaawa? Peas no go?"

"Konohamaru, if he wants to leave he can go." A warm hand ruffled my hair gently. "He should know though, he doesn't have to."

I looked up and was greeted with a soft, warm smile. My breath faltered and a tiny hand grabbed my shirt sleeve. "No go..." The child sniffled and my heart was crushed. Was he going to cry if I left? Would I actually be missed? I felt happiness flood me bringing with it the sting of tears and looked down willing them away. When they passed I looked back up with a small smile.

"I guess I could... come up... for a while." The young boy flung himself around my shoulders. The feeling of oncoming tears hit me again and I pushed them back.

"No wile. Gaawa sta." A small hiccup sounded out and I gulped.

"Okay..." I lied, hugging the boy back. I was ushered inside and into the apartment, seated on the bed in Konohamaru's room before I caught up. The toddler, once he realized I wasn't going to bolt, pulled out several toys, lined them up and announced we were going to play ninjas. As I was handed my 'weapons' Naruto walked into the room. Konohamaru smiled and waved at him before going back to the 'weapons'.

"Gaara are you staying for dinner? We're having mango stir-fry." I turned to him, something in his voice telling me he knew I wasn't going anywhere.

"Yeah he sta fo dinna." Konohamaru answered for me. Sapphire eyes danced with laughter he held back and nodded. I looked between the two finally understanding I really had no say in the matter at all before shrugging and going back to the battle that was about to break out between my army of stuffed animals and his. I heard the blond man laugh from the kitchen as the toddler began chucking weapons at me. We ran around the apartment throwing weapons back and forth, dodging around corners and doors, jumping over or on furniture. I briefly wondered why Naruto wasn't stopping us through all the ruckus before Konohamaru ambushed me and we began rolling around on the floor, both of us laughing loudly before jumping apart and returning to the throwing of pillows and assorted stuffed animals. A green throw pillow from the living room couch hit the boy in the side gently.

"I win." Naruto laughed scooping the giggling boy into his arms before turning to me. "Dinner's ready." He smiled at me as I stood up leading the way to the table. I realized the reason for allowing us to run around the house when Konohamaru's eyes began to drift close and his head began falling forward. He was completely worn out. "Come on little one, lets get you into the bath then to bed." He nodded sleepily and stood up, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the bathroom.

"Wait, Konohamaru, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean... your papa's going to give you a bath." I protested, becoming flustered fast.

"No, you lev if I le go." He mumbled rubbing his eyes. I turned to the other man, hoping he'd help my argument but Naruto just smiled and followed us into the bathroom. My fingers rubbed against my palms nervously when the child began stripping as his older brother turned on the water and pushed the stopper in place.

"Relax kid." Naruto laughed stopping my hands with his own. "It's just a bath. You and I aren't getting in with him." I blushed until I was sure I was glowing when he turned back to his kid. I pushed away the mental images and turned to the others. Konohamaru was calm, none of the splashing I was expecting and the water was oddly low. I took all of that in while Naruto described each of the steps. First washing the feet and legs, then the body, moving onto the hands and arms, and finishing with the face and hair. Konohamaru yawned and let himself be pulled from the bath with a big fluffy towel. "See. That wasn't so bad." His voice smiled at me as he watched me with amused eyes. "Will you go get him some pajamas? They're in the red drawer in his room." I nodded and left to retrieve them, when I returned the kid was barely awake, leaning against Naruto's chest, soaking his shirt with still wet hair. I handed over the clothes and watched him dress the child with surprisingly quick movements.

When we left the bathroom I expected us to go right to Konohamaru's room, so I was surprised when the blond turned into his own room, the blanket and linens already replaced at some point during the day, probably when we were tearing up the house... Naruto set the boy on the bed and peeled off his wet shirt exposing his trim body. I shuddered and backed out of the room, standing in the doorway. "Gaawa leep wif me?" I jumped when the child spoke.

"No, it's time for bed." Konohamaru began sniffling but Naruto stood his ground. I smiled. I thought he was a pushover when it came to his son. I guess not. When Naruto told him no for a third time the sniffling turned to full blown wailing. The blond turned to me apologetically. "Will you wait for me in the living room for a moment?" I nodded and started down the hall when the wailing quieted and a soft sound replaced it. I stopped and listened carefully, my body moving towards it automatically. When I was by the door of the bedroom I could hear the words perfectly. I slid down the wall and sat there, out of sight and listened to the blond singing softly to the toddler that was probably in his arms. "-let me sing you to sleep. If you need anything, just say the word, I mean anything. Rest assured, if you start to doze then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklaces close. It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it. It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded. I know that you're weak. Just let me sing you to sleep." I felt my eyes slid shut. "While you were sleeping I figured out everything: I was constructed for you and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins. You shine so bright, it's insane. You put the sun to shame... Gaara?"

I looked up startled to see him standing above me, turning out the lights. I turned away quickly "I'm sorry. I just heard your voice. It's really nice and... I wanted to hear..." He didn't say anything for several minutes. I chanced a look up, nearly falling over at the sight. He was blushing! Bright red, mouth covered by his hand, not looking at me. "Are you blushing?" His eyes widened and he stalked down the hall. "You are." I smiled slightly.

"I was not." He mumbled, picking up the toys that littered the floor. I joined him, letting it drop. It was a fairly easy task and we finished quickly. As I shut the lid to the toy box I turned to face him, taking him in. He was looking off to the side, leaning against the little boys dresser, still shirtless, a swirling tattoo surrounding his navel stood out against his dark skin, muscles sleek, hugging his form while standing out subtly, his blond hair sticking up at odd angles and falling around his eyes, framing them softly, his jaw sharp and defined. His jeans hung off his hips, showing the hem of his orange boxers, the legs still damp. My eyes traveled back up and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized he was looking right me. I fought the blush trying to creep onto my face. I'd blushed enough for one day... fuck I'd blushed enough to last me a life time.

My fingers nervously rubbed my palms again as I cleared my throat. "I should get going... Will you tell Konohamaru goodbye for me?" His eyes focused on my face. I guess that was overstepping the boundaries then. "Um. Thank you. Really. Thank you for helping me." The last part came out as a squeak as he walked forward, stopping a foot in front of me. I looked up at him questioningly. We stood like that for what felt like hours before he opened his mouth to speak.

"He takes a nap around noon, right before lunch." His voice was impossibly soft but I still heard it. "He eats oddly cut vegetables for lunch, sometimes with something, usually plain. He's terrified of the water, but likes to drink it. His best friends live in the building. Udon and Moegi. The come over often, but their mothers or nannies come with them. He has nightmares, but just remind him he's awake and okay, call him little one because our father did when he was a baby and it calms him down. He doesn't like crayons, just pencils and watercolors. He's not allergic to anything, but don't let him eat too much canned pineapple, it makes his tummy hurt. He likes the classic Disney movies, particularly Peter Pan. I work odd hours. I leave at seven, don't get back until anywhere between five and seven and I smell like seal coat when I get home."

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered back, eyes not leaving his. He smiled at me.

"Because... Kiba's mother and I talked about it earlier... then Kiba and I at the gas station... and I was hoping you'd become Konohamaru's nanny." My mouth fell open. He taught me how to prepare the food, he watched me when I played with his child, he taught me how to give him baths, he sent me for things familiarizing me with the layout of the apartment, and Kiba said he'd see me later. Okay that last one didn't really matter, but all day he'd been watching me, preparing me if I accepted. I took a step back. "I'd pay you, along with room and board. You'd have weekends off and most of the evening. My son-" He squeezed his eyes shut painfully before opening them. "My brother really likes you. I've never seen him take to someone so quickly. You have a natural maternal instinct. I've watched you with him. I trust you with him."

"You don't even know me." My heart skipped a beat when he said the word trust. "What if your trust is misplaced?"

He grabbed my hands and smiled. "It isn't. You're a good kid in a bad situation. Help me out and get out of it. If you don't want to, tell me and I'll call those women back and set up interviews for tomorrow... But I'd feel better if it were you." The words washed over me and I couldn't think. I knew I had so many arguments left but I couldn't reach them. He was offering me a way out of a life I hated, he was extending a hand when I knew I was drowning in the dark waters. His eyes refused to let me look away and grab the things I knew would let me sink away. I really enjoyed being around him and his child. I'd never had such a relaxing and fun day since before my own mother died. I adored the way they lived their lives. I wouldn't mind becoming a part of it, even if it was a temporary part. But then my doubts rose up. When I was pushed out of their lives it would hurt. It would hurt me so badly. I only knew them for two days and already I knew the pain that would consume me. When he came to his senses and remembered I was just a prostitute, someone who would sleep with anyone as long as they had the money. Someone who shouldn't be around children at all. Someone who was to be shunned and kept from the public eye. Somebody that didn't even deserve to be called that... I was a nobody. As that thought sunk in I knew my answer. I just had to open my mouth and speak.

"I'll do it."

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**Long fucking chapter. ****I was going to stop halfway through but it just kept pouring out and I didn't want to cut it in half. ****And who didn't see that coming? I mean really? Ha! It seems very drug out, but I wanted to show all the ways Naruto began 'training' Gaara. I'm pretty happy with this chapter. Except, I, have, issues, with, fucking, comma's, and, over, use, them. I'm just going to chalk this up to my 'writing style' and let it pass because I do it in every damn story. Would a beta be able to help with that? Probably not. You know Gaara kind of reminds me of Hinata in this chapter... How's that going to work if Hinata comes into play? Okay I'm rambling.**

**Anyway. I hope you guys liked it!**


	5. Chapter Five

**Dang... I love you all. Seriously. You reviewers rock. And thanks for those of you who volunteered to beta for me. I was just sort of babbling when I said it, but I totally found a beta and I'm freakin' happy about it. Loves to my new beta Ugawa!**

_**Message from beta: Another amazing chapter. Definitely worth reading. J**_

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**Chapter Five**

-_Naruto_-

We stood side by side washing the dishes as I continued to list off rules and facts about my little one to the new nanny. My nerves and excitement filled me all at once. I didn't know how to explain it. I was happy about finding someone who seemed to adore my child, happy that I could trust his safety to someone who needed my help, but scared of all the things that could go wrong. The redhead beside me seemed nervous as well, but I would smile and he'd stop looking like a lost puppy.

I pulled the plug from the sink and watched the water drain away. "Hinata and Ino are bringing Udon and Moegi over tomorrow. They usually do the first three days of the week." I turned to look at him, almost proud of the way he seemed so determined to memorize everything. "I'm going to be blunt. Ino is a bitch. I don't think it's on purpose, though. So, don't let her intimidate you. Hinata, on the other hand, she's a nice girl and will usually try to stop her friend from going too far. They're both friends of Sakura... So, whatever Ino might say to you will more than likely be directed at me." I wiped my hands on my jeans and left the room. He followed, and I stopped in the room behind the kitchen. "This will be your room."

It was a simple room, painted bright blue with dark wood trim. The bed was bare with a dark, wooden frame and a matching desk and dresser. The heavy duffel bag from Tsume lay at the foot of the bed — the only out of place item in the room. I reached over and ruffled his hair with a gentle hand. "Through this door is your closet... Uh. I wanted to ask," I leaned against a wall and stared at him as his eyes wandered around the room with something in his eyes that I couldn't place. He shifted nervously. "Do you have anything stored anywhere? Clothes or things like that you'd want to get?" He shook his head.

"A few weeks ago my backpack was stolen. I've got what I came with."

I gave him a smile that I knew was empty and walked over to the bed, unzipping the bag and pulling the contents out one by one. "Kiba's mother sent these for you. She said your size was about the same as her nephew. He grew out of them." We both stared at the clothes, his look shocked, mine confused at the odd style and bright colors. There weren't that many... five pairs of jeans, a pair of cargo pants, brightly colored band tees, undershirts, two sweaters and a black jean jacket with quite a few patches. Laid out across the bed, they wouldn't even cover the surface, but the look on his face told me he was grateful. His fingers brushed the closest pair of jeans lightly, playing with the fringe of an artfully placed rip that screamed artificial, but still managed to look nice. I smiled as I reached back in and pulled out a sealed package of boxers and socks that I knew Tsume had probably sent Kiba to the store for. That damn woman. She was obviously a mother, wanting to help and provide for someone she knew nothing about. She'd once told me that I had the same trait, announcing that that fact made me a father without question. "She didn't know if they were your style or not..."

"I love them." He whispered, looking up and meeting my eyes finally. "Thank you."

Smiling, I held my hands in the air. "Just the delivery boy. If you want to put these in the dresser, I'll go get some sheets and an extra blanket." He nodded and I left him there, staring at the clothes like they were treasure. I grabbed some dark blue sheets and a white comforter, grabbing the beat up leather wallet on top of the refrigerator, a sleep shirt from my room and returned to his. I leaned against the frame and watched him. He gathered the clothes carefully and put them away like they were the most precious thing he had ever received. That fact made me sad and slightly angry. He turned then and lowered his gaze. I laughed lowly and put the bundle in my arms on the bed. We made the bed in silence, the dark blue sheets smelling of detergent with every movement. I smiled when we'd finished and handed him the wallet that I'd found inside his shoe the night I brought him home and the shirt I knew would be giant on him. I left the room and waited by the door while he changed. The door opened after a few moments. He tugged on the over sized shirt and looked uncomfortable when it slipped from his shoulder. I just smiled and motioned for him to follow as I walked to the kitchen. He trailed after me wordlessly and sat at the table across from me.

"Okay. This is going to get a little personal, kid, but I've got to know." He nodded, keeping his eyes with mine, probably knowing what I was going to ask. "Seventeen-year-olds don't just end up on the street for no reason. You don't have to go into detail if you don't want to, but would you mind telling me how you ended up where you were?"

I saw him swallow anxiously. "I ran away from home a few years ago. I thought I could make it but..."

But you didn't realize how life on the streets really worked. I didn't say this but nodded and let it pass. "May I ask why?"

His eyes fell from mine then, but still he answered. "Home was no longer a safe place." My heart gave a tight squeeze. Most who lie about a horrible home life would return if they were forced to start working the streets, would return though they 'hated' their family if they were too sick to even find an appropriate shelter. This kid's life must've been bad. But maybe they had calmed down since then? They were probably sick with worry over their lost child. I know I would be.

"Drugs?"

He met my critical gaze evenly. "Some weed when I was fifteen, but I didn't like the lack of control. That's all." His eyes didn't leave mine as I began to search his face for signs of a lie. I liked the kid, but I did not want him near my child if he was addicted to something dangerous. He didn't look away, he held his ground. "I have nothing to hide in that aspect. Drugs have scared the shit out of me since I was little. The other street walkers laughed at my refusal, telling me it would help me not think about it, it would help me let go. I stood my ground. I was already a corner whore, I didn't want to be a junkie as well." My face warmed suddenly when I found no hint of deception and his words rang true in my mind, though they saddened me as well.

"Okay." I watched him for a second as I prepared to ask the question I knew I could get one of three reactions from him. A sneering dislike, a growling rage, or fear. I sincerely hoped for some reason it would not be fear. "Should we call your parents?"

"No!" He shouted, lunging across the table and grabbing my hands with shaking frail fingers. "Please don't. Don't call him." His eyes were widened with indescribable fear and I felt concern flood me. "I promise I'll do anything you want, just don't call him. Please..." Panic coursed through me, making my mind frantic. I'm positive he would've agreed to jumping into a pit of venomous snakes naked if I agreed to not calling. My hands were on the side on his face suddenly, my touch gentle in hopes of calming his unsettling fear.

"It's okay, Gaara, I won't call anyone if you don't want me to. You're seventeen. Here in this city, you're considered legal enough to be on your own. There isn't a need to call." Relief crashed over his eyes and he let out a giant breath, lowering his head to the cool surface of the table. I ran a hand through his blood red locks for a minute. I felt relieved when his tense muscles relaxed and I slipped my hand from his grasp. "Do you need me to get you anything?" He shook his head against the table. "Are you going to be alright?" He nodded, not lifting his head from the wooden surface. "Are you sure?" He sat up as if to prove he was fine and gave me a small weak smile that still looked troubled. I didn't believe it for a second but I returned it. "Okay, um, right, moving on. How much would you like to be paid?"

He leaned back in the chair. "I'm staying in your home, you'd be feeding me... isn't that enough?" I laughed when he voiced his thoughts after several minutes of silence. "How much does it usually cost you?"

"Well, Sakura worked for a bargain at one twenty a week. That's what a usual live in nanny ma—"

"That's too much." His eyes widened. "What about, um... fifty?"

My mouth fell open and I looked at him like he was crazy. "Absolutely not. That'd be like I was robbing you or something."

"You're feeding me, giving me a place to stay and I don't even have to sleep with a stranger for it. Plus I get to spend my day with Konohamaru. Fifty is more than enough for me." I sat there frozen in place before breaking out in loud laughter.

"You realize that's only two hundred a month?" He nodded and I just shook my head. We debated it for an hour before I noticed his eyes beginning to grow heavy. He fought it off, determined to win, passing it off with blinking and looking away, but I'd been a father far too long for it to work on me. "Go to bed, kid. We'll have to talk about it more in the morning." His eyes met mine and for some reason I knew he wouldn't budge from his answer. I smirked. What a stubborn little brat. He yawned again and I looked at the clock. It was only twelve-thirty, but he was probably exhausted from his day playing with Konohamaru. I stood and pulled him from the chair. He glared at me sleepily and I was worried he was going to pass out on the way to the room, but he held out even though he was dead to the world as soon as his head hit the pillow. "Goodnight, kid." I chuckled and pulled the blanket over him. I walked to the door and turned out the light, leaving it open slightly. I wandered through the house, checking windows and locks, before cuddling up to my baby brother and falling asleep myself.

-_Gaara_-

"Naruto. Your alarm has been going off for five minutes." I whispered, leaning over the blond. I looked at the clock again and frowned. I'd been up for a bit and when the loud screeching started it had scared the crap out of me. I waited for it to be shut off but time passed and it continued its annoying wail. I pulled at the edge of the large tee-shirt the blond gave to me to sleep in when the bag revealed no sleeping garments and fidgeted uncomfortably. I wasn't quite sure what to do as my new employer mumbled something that sounded like cherry pies and tofu. Wake him or just leave him be? Surely he would wake up in time right? I mean, he'd been getting himself to work on time before. But we did stay up sorta late last night, going over everything... I pushed the off button on the annoyance and turned back to the bed.

I rolled my eyes to myself, put a hand on his arm and began shaking him. "Narut- ah!" My sentence ended in a yelp as his hand shot out and pulled me halfway into the bed. My knees bent quite uncomfortably against the edge as my torso lay across his, my arms caught at the elbows by his strong arms. I pulled at them in vain. "Why did I think this was a good idea?" I mumbled to myself, still tugging. My legs began screaming in pain, but there was no way I was pulling my legs onto the bed... I'd be draped all over him. I looked over at the tiny brunette sleeping next to the blond as I struggled. He looked so sweet, and I really didn't want to wake him, but if I was going to remedy this situation it was going to have to be loud. I took a deep breath, eyeing the golden flesh beneath me and bit down.

The reaction was immediate, but not desired. Naruto sat straight up, crying out, but instead of releasing me I got the worst end of the deal. My body twisted, throwing my legs onto the bed, finally able to release the pressure that had been building up — which I guess could be viewed as good. But my head became bent to one side, and my upper body jammed down into his lap. "Son of a grape." He muttered looking down at me. "Gaara?" I could only stare up at him as he still had his death grip on my arms that were beginning to ache from the new odd position. "What are you doing?"

"Please let go of my arms." I asked, glad that I was able to keep the pain out of my voice. He looked at my arms and quickly dropped them. I pulled them back and stood up, rubbing the poor things out. "Your alarm was going off for a while, and I was just making sure you weren't dead." He laughed. I rolled my eyes.

The blond stretched his arms high above his head before rubbing the red spot on his collar bone where I'd bitten him. "Damn. Why'd you bite me?" He yawned out, giving me a pout.

I folded my arms across my chest and popped a nonexistent eyebrow at him. "You were molesting me in your sleep. What was supposed to do?" I almost laughed at his decency to blush.

"What time is it?" He yawned again, rubbing his eyes.

"Five-forty-two."

He snapped around to look at the alarm clock before he fell back into bed, groaning. "It's so early!" I looked at him confused once more. "I usually over sleep until six forty then make a mad dash to be on time." He threw his arm over his eyes before puffing out his cheeks and releasing the air in a childish manner. I bit back the urge to laugh. "I guess I'll get up since you went through all the trouble of biting the sleep out of me."

I felt my face heat up slightly and walked away, turning on the coffee pot in the kitchen as I passed it to the room that was now mine for the time being. I changed into the clothes slowly, afraid of ripping the nicest things I owned in three years. The pants fit well enough, though I knew they weren't supposed to be as loose around my legs for the look they were meant to portray. I'd seen the look plenty of times. Sai, the boy I'd use to hang out with while on the streets, had called the spastically dressed kids roaming around the 'new club kids'. The shirt was a perfect fit, displaying the name of some band I'd never heard of across the chest in giant blue and green letters. When I looked in the mirror attached to the closet door I froze.

I felt tears prick my eyes, but I held them back, staring at the teen in the mirror. I looked so... normal. My body not ridiculously displayed to attract the eyes of men and women. I didn't automatically pout when I put these clothes on like I usually did, hoping to appeal to those that wanted someone innocent. No. In these clothes, I looked like a teenager. A real teenager. A kid with a family... I shook it off and walked into the kitchen to see a still half naked blond pouring coffee into a mug. I fidgeted in my place, not sure what I should be doing, before walking over and sitting at the table. "Do you want some?" He asked, his back to me.

"Sure." I mumbled. He seemed to hear it and reached for another black cup hanging from a hook above the pot. The smell of coffee still put me on edge after all these years, but the taste was one thing I'd learned to love on the streets. I had too. Coffee was dirt cheap and water was a fortune. Oh, how mother nature had fallen. Naruto turned around as that thought rolled through my mind, and I saw him falter when he caught sight of me. "What?"

He laughed lightly and sat opposite me. "Are you sure you're seventeen? I fell out of my chair when you said that yesterday. Literally."

I gave him a look and accepted the steaming cup he pushed towards me. "Quite sure." I muttered and took a sip, not even wincing as it burned the tip of my tongue and the roof of my mouth. "Why?"

"You look so damn young. I was guessing sixteen at the most. Although, mostly focusing on fifteen." I scowled. "Don't get offended, kid. I thought, uh, in your situation someone was supposed to look older than they were, not younger." He smiled and the scowl fell from my face automatically. I don't know why. That smile just made anger roll off me.

"I've always looked too young." The words were meant to come out light, just information, but they were dark, heavy. I couldn't help it. Due to my genetic idiocy I had always been tiny, fragile looking, and I hated it with a passion. It caused several fights and plenty of bullying was forced onto me, but I had learned to hold my own, which was the one thing I was grateful for. "I suppose I always will." He clucked his tongue and looked away. We sat there in silence for a few seconds before he turned back to me.

"I forgot to ask if you wanted cream or something." I smirked and just shook my head, finishing the bitter liquid in the cup. He grinned and swirled his around. "That's good. I didn't have any anyway." He chuckled. I snorted. A few more minutes of silence settled around us and I listened to the noises. Oddly, there weren't many. The occasional drip from the coffee pot, the sounds of Naruto shifting around, the clink of his cup against the table and... that was it. I took it all in with gratitude. I appreciated the quiet more than anything. Apparently my rescuer didn't. "Geez. It's too fucking quiet. Man. I'm never up this early, I have no idea what to do with all this extra time." He smiled sheepishly. "Did my alarm wake you up?"

I shook my head. "I wake up early all the time... but it did startle me."

He laughed lowly. "Yeah... I forgot it was still set. Me and Konohamaru have the wonderful talent of sleeping right through it. We've been through several different kinds and none of them work. Doesn't matter though. Sakura always woke me up when she got here." He frowned then but shook it off. "I'm gonna go get ready." I watched him go. The name Sakura was said a lot in this house. I wasn't sure who she was, but it seemed just mentioning her made the blue eyed man sad. I frowned when the sound of the shower started and picked up my empty cup on the table, washing and putting it back on its hook. I sat down once again at the table and became bored all too quickly, wondering briefly when Konohamaru would wake up.

My hopes were answered a minute later when a tiny voice called out from the other room. "Papa?" I felt my face light up and quickly walked to the room he shared with his father. I smiled softly as I spotted the toddler rubbing his eyes with his tiny fist. I walked over and lifted him up. He nuzzled into my chest and sighed. He sniffed me for a few seconds and looked up with a giant smile on his face. "Gaawa!" He cried happily, throwing his arms around my neck. I smiled and turned to the doorway as a laugh sounded out, freezing at the sight that greeted me.

"He just sniffed you, didn't he?" The bronzed man stood there toweling off his still wet hair laughing... wearing nothing but a towel around his waist loosely. "That's it. Kiba spends way too much time with him." I blushed and tried not to watch the water rolling down his chest, tried not to watch as they slid across the beautiful tattoo, tried not to watch as they hit the soft white towel draped around his hips so- I finally pulled my eyes away and felt myself grow darker. I heard him walk into the room... and stop right next to us. "Morning, baby." Konohamaru giggled as he was tickled under his chin. I tried to think that I didn't just imagine I was the one he called baby, mumbled something about giving him some privacy and high tailed it out of there.

"Gaawa wed." The three year old smiled and poked my cheek. I snorted and set him down. "Has pa'tate?" I nodded as he grabbed my fingers and we made our way to the kitchen. We pulled the ingredients out together, Konohamaru laughing as I made a face at the whole wheat flour and proceeded to make a mess. The batter was mixed, and I was pouring it into the pan when Naruto joined us. His clothes looked dirty. White tee covered in speckles and smears of black along with his jeans and bright orange cloth hanging from his back pocket. I wondered just what it was he did for a living when he smiled at us and poured another cup of coffee. I listen to the two gabber on as I prepared the meal. I was beginning to lose myself in the act that used to calm me so much when I felt someone stop behind me.

"You like to cook?" He asked. I nodded. "Self taught or did someone teach you?" I could hear the smile in his voice as he leaned on the counter beside me.

"My mother taught me." I smiled on reflex. "She tried to teach me how to make everything from scratch, but I wasn't too interested in that. I'm surprised I remember how to do this." He laughed, and I smiled softly over at him. His eyes danced with laughter and pulled a chunk of batter from my hair. "I guess I didn't remember how to do it without making a mess." He just laughed as he wiped the mush on the towel hanging from the oven.

"Yup. Pefic." We both turned to see Konohamaru watching us. I raised a nonexistent brow and turned to his papa. He had the same look on his face but just shrugged. I turned back to the pan while the blond pushed off from the counter and walked to his child. I heard them engage in a round of patty cake and listened to the child's voice try to match his papa's. It was cute to say the very least. I flipped the last pancake onto a plate and walked to the already set table. The two smiled their matching smiles before digging in. We sat there for a while after we finished, until Naruto spotted the time and jumped to his feet. He ran around and planted a kiss on the toddler's forehead, ruffled my hair, reminded me once more that Ino and Hinata would be up around one-ish, and was out the door. Konohamaru smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Pefic." He said again.

We spent the morning playing in the living room, mostly jumping around and making a mess before he pulled a book of Grimm's fairy tales out of the bookshelf and sat me down to read. Halfway through Godfather Death he was out like a light. I smiled and lay him down in the giant bed in his father's room. I glanced at the clock, it was already a little past noon. I cleaned the mess we'd made and did the dishes to await the two women I was slightly fearful of meeting.

-_Naruto_-

"You done, dobe?" I looked up as Sasuke Uchiha walked through the door of his office, onyx hair, eyes and dark clothing offsetting his pale white skin delicately. His long fingered hands swept through the oddly styled hair before grabbing his thin elbow and made his way towards me. I smiled up at him hollowly. His smirk fell a bit, and I knew he could tell the difference between my real smiles and the fake ones. I nodded and closed the nanny-cam window on the laptop. "How'd it go?"

This time a real smile lit my face. "Great. They get along great."

He snorted and motioned for me to get out of his seat. "So the new nanny is a hit. Since you chose the broad I'm not really surprised." He sat down in the chair I'd just occupied and looked up at me expectantly. I just grinned down at him, trying to look oblivious. I felt him glare and finally snort in amusement. "What's her name?"

"Gaara."

"That's exotic. Is she cute?"

"He's easy on the eyes." To anyone else, that tidbit didn't appear to affect the brunette, but I could see the shock clearly in his eyes. I laughed at the look he was trying very hard not to give me. "Thanks for letting me use your computer, teme, but my break is almost over."

"You finally got tired of getting hit on." Was his reasoning and I didn't start to correct him. "I thought you had the cam un-installed after you hired that Haruno girl." It wasn't in the form of a question, but I could still hear it.

"Nah. I knew that arrangement wouldn't last. Though the last year had been easy on my nerves." He nodded.

"Why did you choose a male though?"

"I didn't, Konohamaru loved him instantly."

"Why?"

I walked to the door and opened it before turning back to my old rival. "I'd like to know that as well. Later, Sasuke." I smiled back at him, he gave me a curt nod and I walked out.

-_Gaara_-

Naruto had been right.

Ino was a bitch. But he was also right in the fact it didn't seem to be intentional. I think it had to do with her voice, the pitch was just whiny, but easy to get used to after a few minutes. Hinata was her opposite, sweet, calm and even tempered. Hell, her voice was calming, which probably had a lot to do with the easy acceptance of Ino's voice. The first thing out of the blonde's mouth when I opened the door was "You're the hooker Naruto took in?" followed by "You're damn cute, no wonder he kept you." then "How old are you?" jumping to "No way! You're totally joking, right?" adding the obligatory "Oops. I bet you get that a lot huh?" ending with "I'm Ino, and this is Moegi."

Hinata introduced herself in a quiet whisper of a voice, then Udon --the child she watched-- and ended with asking my name. I didn't even need to think about who made the best first impression. They sat on the couch while I took the chair and watched the children for one minute before Ino began laying into me with questions. I answered them vaguely for the next three and a half hours while keeping an eye on the toddler under my care. Konohamaru seemed to be the leader, taking charge of the other two in a way that wasn't bossy and was easily accepted by the young boy and girl. My mouth almost fell open when I learned they were all the same age, birthdays within months of each other. Konohamaru's speech was miles ahead of theirs and was walking as if that was what he'd always done, they could barely perform coherent words and preferred crawling when they had the option.

"Don't get mad or anything, I'm just curious, but do you have any, like, STDs?" I felt my eye twitch as I glared at her. She flinched. I counted to ten to calm myself when I remembered I was going to have to be spending a lot of time with these women, before opening my mouth.

"No. I do not. I was careful to a point of annoyance and got tested every few months." Ino opened her mouth again, and I was grateful when Hinata captured her attention with something trivial I didn't bother to listen in on. I calmed myself again and watched the little brunette attempt to read the book I'd read to him earlier to the other children. I felt a smile form softly on my face and thought about going over to them. They, surely, were better company than the blonde woman.

"So has he?" I was snapped back to Ino when she began waving her arms around.

I blinked and turned to her. "I missed it."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Naruto. Has he pulled a move on you yet? You know, turned on that famous Uzumaki charm and tried to get you into bed?" I flared bright red as well as Hinata. I'm sure you could've toasted bread on our faces.

I recovered first. "No. I don't think he's into men."

"I disagree. Sakura's been trying to put the moves on him for six months and he never even took her up on a date or anything. I mean, he's got the whole sexy devoted father thing going on and he hasn't been on one date in almost three years." I saw Konohamaru freeze from the corner of my eye. "I mean, there's the whole grieving period, but you think he'd want to get back into the game after all this time." I frowned as the toddler's face fell, and his eyes became hollow. My heart became frantic. What was going on? I was rising to my feet to go over to him when Ino spoke the breaking words. "I mean, it was tragic, but it wasn't the end of the world." And Konohamaru began to wail. I was at his side in seconds. What just happened? I turned confused eyes to Hinata who had tears in her eyes while the blonde next to her looked ashamed for whatever she had just done.

"Udon, let's get going." The little one was in her arms as Ino grabbed Moegi, they had both began crying minutes after Konohamaru. I was still lost until the dark haired woman leaned over and whispered "Two and half years ago Naruto and Konohamaru's parents died in a car crash." I glared fiercely at the blonde who shrank into herself and hurried to the hallway. "I'm sorry, we'll leave. Ino doesn't know when to shut her mouth. I'm so sorry." Then she too disappeared into the hall.

An hour later Konohamaru had quieted his heartbreaking sobs, but they didn't stop. I felt the need to cry with him rise in my chest, along with the need to kill the insensitive bitch who made this happen. I rocked him back and forth, rubbing his back and calling him "little one," as Naruto told me too, but nothing helped. My heart broke as he clung to me and before I knew it the front door opened and a cheery voice called out "I'm home!"

"Naruto!" I shouted while Konohamaru cried "Papa!"

-_Naruto_-

My heart stopped at the double cry for me. I ran to the living room to spot a teary eyed redhead draped around my sobbing child. Gaara stood instantly and handed me the brunette who's hands held onto me as if I were the only thing keeping him from floating away. I looked into the frightened teal eyes and swallowed several times before finding my voice. "What happened?" My voice was angry. My voice was scared. My voice frightened me.

"Ino... Ino said something and Konohamaru overheard." His explanation was quick to come, not needing any incentive. "I'm not even really sure what happened. The words centered around." He held up three fingers. "Years ago." I felt my fists tighten and I began to shake. "I didn't know what to do..." My rage was only over shadowed by the fact my crying child needed me at the moment.

I fell into father mode and rubbed his back. "Take a deep breath, baby. Papa's here. See? Every thing's okay. I promise." I felt him inhale and the stiffness in his body released. "That's a good boy. Good boy." I kissed the top of his head and rubbed his scar in gentle circles. It took fifteen minutes to calm him into soft hiccups. "You're okay, little one. You're alright now." I looked at the still shaking redhead sitting on the couch. He wasn't looking our way, but I could guess his expression was not pleasant. "Are you alright now?" I asked softly kissing the wild, brown hair again. He nodded. "Can papa put you down for a minute?" He seemed to think about it for a minute before nodding again. I set him on the ground raising an eyebrow as he ran right to his shaking nanny. Little arms hugged the thin pale frame, which flinched but allowed it. "Konohamaru. Can papa barrow Gaara for a minute?" This time the nod came after several minutes. I was about to repeat myself when he consented, and the little arms released the older boy. "Gaara, would you follow me?" He stood almost robotically, and I heard him follow.

I didn't look at him as he past me into the room, and I shut the door. I took several deep breaths before turning around. "Tell me what she said. As exact as you can remember." He looked stunned for a moment before closing his eyes and swallowing.

"She said... something about you not dating in three years, that's when Konohamaru froze, then a grieving period, I think, then... she said it wasn't the end of the world and Konohamaru began to cry." He sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, hands hanging limp between them. "I'm so sorry, Naruto. I didn't know what to do. I tried everything to calm him, everything you told me last night. I'm so sorry. I-I'll leave now."

"Leave?" Now I was confused. "Why would you leave?" He looked up, just as confused as I'm sure I looked. "It wasn't your fault. You did the best thing you could've done. You held him when he needed it. Now if you'll kindly watch my son, I'm going to go fucking murder a blonde, bimbo bitch." I flung the door open and walked down the hall as Gaara scooped Konohamaru into his arms. "I'll be back." I waved over my shoulder, not able to face them with the rage that burned within me. I sprinted down the stairs and began pounding on the door of the apartment I knew Ino would still be at.

"N-Naruto!" I glared at the woman and watched her shrink.

"Guess what I just came home to?" My voice was disturbingly sweet. She walked into the hall and closed the door, refusing to meet my eyes. "Give up?" My hands slammed into the wall on either side of her, trapping her in a cage. "My son crying his eyes out and a very frightened teenager who was almost in tears himself. Now do you know why?" She looked up at me quickly before lowering her eyes again. I knew I was glaring at this point. And, honestly, I didn't give a fuck if she was scared. She'd hurt my son. She made my baby cry. "**Because someone said that when his parents died it wasn't the end of the fucking world!**" That was when she began crying and my anger died, I wanted to hold onto it, but I felt sorry. I always had been a sucker for tears. "Ino... I'm sorry, but even if he doesn't really remember them, he remembers something bad happened almost three years ago." She finally looked up at me. "He knows something very bad happened to people he cared for very much. I'm sorry I scared you." I rested my hands on her shoulders and was surprised she didn't flinch.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto. I just, you know, my stupid mouth doesn't know when to quit." She whispered looking up at me.

I nodded and smiled at her as gently as I could with the dead look I knew was stuck in my eyes. "I have the same problem sometimes." She smiled at me weakly. "Man. Gaara was paler than Sasuke. He thought he was being fired to boot." I grinned down at her as best as I could. "I've got to go check on them." I wiped her tears away with my thumb gently. "Please, please be careful in the future." She nodded, and I turned to go.

I heard her sniffle but didn't turn as the stairwell door slid shut behind me. I took the stairs slowly, shoving the angry air out of my body with each step, thinking about the redhead. Gaara had handled it better than Sakura. The woman had accidentally began talking about his scar and the accident when the crying started for her. I arrived home to Konohamaru and Sakura bawling on opposite sides of the room. It had taken an hour to calm him and it didn't help that the one who was supposed to make sure everything was okay while his papa was gone had broken down as well. She'd felt so bad that Kiba had had to watch him for a week while she recovered and, though she'd handled it so poorly, I hadn't been too angry. I'd forgotten to mention his sensitivity to his everlasting reminder.

I walked into a silent apartment. That didn't surprise me, but the sight in the living room made me smile. Konohamaru was snuggled against Gaara's chest, sleeping softly. The redhead was just staring into the wall on the opposite side of the room, holding the little boy gently. I fell onto the love seat and teal eyes settled on me. "Should I be prepared for you to ask me to help hide a body?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed. I couldn't stop it. The laugh wasn't happy, it wasn't angry. It was sad, almost a sobbing ache as it tumbled through me and shook my body. He didn't move, he just watched me with sad eyes. I reeled it in when the toddler began shifting in his arms. Dark eyes opened, joining the teal ones watching me. I smiled at him and he returned it. It was a smile only we seemed to know. It was a smile that seemed to say _something's missing, we know what it is, but we can never get it back_. I wondered how he'd come to mimic it so perfectly for a second before kicking my shoes off and standing. "Okay, papa's going to go take a shower then we'll go to the park, okay?"

His eyes lit up immediately and he bounced up from his nanny's lap. "Pak!" He hugged my legs and ran to grab his coat.

"Hey, wait! I said I gotta take a shower first! I smell like seal coat still!" I smiled as he disappeared into his room. I turned when Gaara giggled.

"Is that what that smell is?" he grinned when I nodded. "It smells like cat litter..." I chuckled.

"It's kind of gross isn't it?" I smiled and was almost knocked over when Konohamaru ran back into the room carrying his coat, jumping around like a nut, talking with the nanny. "I'll be right back and we can go." I ran to the bathroom and stripped, hopping under the stream of water before it warmed up. Sighing, I blocked off my thoughts and washed quickly, knowing how my little one got when I made him wait while the promise of the park was dangling in front of him. I dashed to the room and threw on whatever before finally joining them in the living room. "We ready then?" I asked as I pulled on my pair of seal coat free shoes. Konohamaru was practically jumping off the walls with his excitement.

"Gaawa san boc! He lie da one!" I raised an eyebrow at the pair.

"I tried to calm him down a bit by asking him what his favorite thing at the park was. I told him mine used to be the sand box." Gaara mumbled, picking at his thumb nail. The tiny brunette grabbed his hand, mouth going a mile a minute and began trying to pull him towards the door. The redhead didn't budge forcing the three-year-old to look back at him with a frown. He gave the boy a small smile and leaned down to look into his little face. "Your papa is gonna take you. I'm sure he wants to spend some time with you."

"Bu I wan you go, too." Gaara looked up at me for help, but I just smiled and left, returning with the jacket Tsume had given him. He took it wordlessly and slipped it on while the little one cheered happily.

"No use arguing with him, kid." He looked down and his fingers began wearing his palms away. I smiled at his nervous habit and reached down to zip up the tiny zipper being held out for me. "Besides, it gives me the chance to show you where the park is in case you want to take him sometime." I flashed him a grin and tossed Konohamaru up in the air, catching him on his way back down and tossing him on my shoulders. Little hands grabbed my hair and tugged it in excitement, making me laugh happily. I turned to the teen to ask him if he was all ready to go but the look on his face made the words die in my throat. He was smiling. It was a smile that put all the others he had shown me to shame. It lit up his beautifully deep eyes, the haunted look dimming and made his entire face seem brighter, his mouth relaxing into it as if it were natural and not the forced tight one I'd seen for the past day and a half. The only thing that made the smile better, he was giving that smile to my child... my son. My heart shuddered in my chest and all the air around me seemed far from my grasp.

"Are we ready?" The beautiful eyes questioned me. I shook myself internally and nodded.

"Yeah. Lets get going."

The walk was short, Konohamaru and I doing most of the talking as we made our way through the streets and the people who filled them. As soon as we hit the still deep green grass the three-year-old on my shoulders began bouncing excitedly, demanding to be put down. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he was off, dragging us both after him with tiny hands connected to ours. I laughed as my little one taunted us both into chasing him all over the play structures, zipping down slides and climbing up stairs and ladders. After he was caught by my tickling hands, he moved on to the mostly empty sand box forcing the redhead to join him.

I watched as they built a giant sand castle before jumping on it to smash it back down and got up to join them, when Konohamaru pulled his nanny down and began whispering in his ear. The teen's face fell into a serious look and he nodded. The little brunette squealed with delight and Gaara's face lit up happily as he was pulled away. I stood there for a moment, wondering what I had just missed. The two walked under the bare trees gathering the fallen leaves into a pile. I laughed to myself and started walking over to join them. I yawned, my eyes sliding shut against the action, and when I opened them, the two were gone. My eyes scanned the area quickly, but the two had disappeared. Before I knew it, I was running towards the area they'd once been, mind going in several directions all ending with panic.

I stopped in front of their giant pile of brown and golden leaves and a small giggle sounded out behind me. Relief flooded me as I turned around only to feel something tackle into my legs and chest. The leaves flew up as I was slammed back into the pile, making the landing softer than it would've been. "Go you, papa!" Konohamaru cried happily as the warmth that had slammed into my chest left and he crawled his way up to my face, laughing. Gaara's soft twinkling laugh joined him and I was soon to follow, tickling my toddler and rolling around in what was left of the pile, only stopping when Konohamaru found a tiny caterpillar. While he watched the black and brown line of fuzz I turned around, looking for our missing member.

The redhead sat on the ground a yard away, leaning against the trunk of an enormous tree, gazing up through its nearly clear branches at the October sky. The crisp wind threw his hair back and forth, forcing the gentle warming smell of the dead leaves around us to wash over me. He had a light, almost shy, smile on his face as the setting sun lit up his skin, giving him the ethereal glow that I'd noticed the first night I'd seen him. The clouds covered the sun and the spell was broken.

Konohamaru ran over and tugged on the teen's hand until he stood, pulling him over so I could grab his tiny hand as well. We followed the cement path through the park, the toddler jabbering on with Gaara or I answering when he asked a question, while he continued to hold our hands and walk between us. Little feet kicked at the leaves that littered the pathway, giggling whenever the wind would lift them up and carry them away. When we came across an empty swing set the little brunette hopped up onto one and made the redhead sit next to him. I laughed and pushed the little one gently, worried he would fall right off it when he stopped me and demanded I push Gaara as well. Konohamaru threw himself off the swing and ran to the bench across from us, climbing up and making himself at home. We followed, though I laughed when I accidentally bumped shoulders with the teen too hard and he stumbled a few feet. He shot me a glare, but I just smiled and ran to the three-year-old's side.

"Okay, what's next?" I asked, plopping down next to him. He climbed onto my lap and shivered. He looked around before turning to the teen standing beside us. He beamed up at him and pointed towards a drink vendor set up a few yards away.

"Gaawa. I col. Ge choc choc?" His teeth chattered for extra measure in case his nanny thought of saying no.

"Choc choc?"

I laughed at the look on the redhead's face. "He wants hot chocolate." I pulled out my wallet and handed him some money. "There's a vendor over there. Will you go get three?" He smiled softly at the money and nodded before walking away. I couldn't help but wonder why I liked that soft smile as I watched him walk towards the vendor just a little way down the path.

"Papa..." I looked down at the child smiling. "You ha'som lie picher daddy." My smile saddened but rose with a vengeance at the compliment. I opened my mouth to thank him but he continued, waving at the teen who waved back. "Gaawa petty, lie picher mommy." I froze, staring down at the little boy, my mind seemed to explode in on itself. The three-year-old jumped up and ran to the redhead, waiting for the drinks.

That was when I realized he was right... and I knew we had a bit of a problem on our hands.

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**Ha ha. Loves to haretikers who figured out what was going on between Konohamaru and his instant adoration of Gaara. I tried to reign in Gaara's OOC, that last chapter was really pushing it.**


	6. Chapter Six

**Ha ha ha! Some of you reviewers seemed a bit upset over that last line in the last chapter. Whoops. -laughs- Well, under the threat of The Spork of Doom and Gaara's caged up fangirls, here's the next chapter. Thanks to all you reviewers!! XD You guys are so awesome. This chapter made reader friendly by my beta, the ever wonderful Ugawa. [seriously, I just keep getting worse...]**

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**Chapter Six**

-_Gaara_-

Naruto didn't meet my eyes after I'd come back with the cocoa. He didn't look at me the entire walk back to the apartment, when we made dinner or at any point through out the rest of the evening. I sat on the bed after Konohamaru had been put to sleep, wondering what I could've done wrong, when a knock on the door made me jump. "Come in." I responded, annoyed that my voice sounded weak. The tall blond walked in, giving me a smile but still unable to meet my eyes. There was an old looking, brown book in his hands, the spine and cover tattered and worn, but he held it as if it were a delicate treasure.

"Sorry to bother you so late." Long legs strode over to the bed languidly, and he took a seat next to me. His eyes finally latched onto mine as his mouth seemed to fumble with his words. The deep crystal-blue of his eyes seemed troubled while they searched my face. "I think we have a bit of a problem."

"Problem?" I asked as a lump formed in my throat.

"Konohamaru... said something earlier, and I imagine it won't be the last time he says it." His long, graceful fingers fiddled with the book before opening it. "I think you'd want to be prepared if, or when, he does." He laughed lightly, tearing his eyes from mine. "These are the last pictures that was taken of our family..." I looked down at the picture he was pointing at.

Two identical blonds stood in the background. One was Naruto, in his late teens, smiling brightly as a bronzed hand ground down into his hair. The other was almost his duplicate, the same mischievous glint in his amazing sapphire eyes, the same stunning smile, he even had the same golden skin as the man sitting next to me, the only difference I could see was the man was older. The next thing to catch my eye was the pale, breathtaking woman. Her eyes light blue eyes almost closed to the camera as her smile lit her face, but her hair... her hair was the same vivid red as mine, though it hung to her waist and seemed a thousand times softer. There was an equally pale baby in her arms with wild, brown hair, his mother's reddish tints shining in the sunlight. The blond next to me cleared his throat and shifted.

"That's me." He pointed to the younger him. "That's baby Konohamaru. He was only thirteen months old in this picture." He laughed and his finger shifted to the older blond. "That's our father Minato. He was rarely seen without a smile on his face." He touched the last figure gently. "And that's our mother, Kushina. She was the most gentle person... I've ever met." He laughed again, the sound soft. "She'd always be yelling at our father for doing the stupidest thing, but they rarely ever really fought."

The picture under it showed the woman holding Konohamaru high in the air, smiling at the laughing baby who had a lock of her hair in his little fist. The picture was warm, happy, and amazingly beautiful. It took my breath away and made my heart ache to know that the scene would end tragically, to know that the stunning woman would be taken from her children.

"They were so happy when he was born. Tsume said it was the same when I was a baby, she said they were the happiest couple on Earth when they heard my mother was pregnant with me." He flipped the page to reveal more pictures that I assumed were from the same day. He cleared his throat again, and I looked up to see him staring at me.

"You look almost exactly like your father." He nodded and grinned as if he got that all the time. "And your mother, she was a very beautiful woman."

"Yeah. We weren't a half bad looking family." His smile fell a bit, and he sighed. "The reason I showed you this, the reason I wanted you to see... Konohamaru said something that I think might cause... problems for you." His eyes filled with worry, and the book slid shut.

"Problems?" I asked again

His laughter became uneasy, and his hand swept through his golden hair. "Our mother was pale, her hair was almost the same shade of red as yours, her frame was tiny even for a woman." Something equivalent to a ball of steel formed in my stomach, and I grabbed my abdomen before I could stop myself, praying he wasn't implying what I thought he was. "and her eyes... were a light blue... almost a greenish color. Today in the park, Konohamaru compared me and you with that picture of our mother and father." And the steel ball dropped. Silence filled the room as I tried to catch my breath.

"What should I do?" I breathed out, my voice stuck in a whisper. His smile was gentle as he ruffled my hair.

"You don't have to do anything. I just wanted you to be prepared if he did say something about it to you. Don't have a panic attack." He grinned, and I glared up at him.

"I wasn't having a panic attack." I muttered, moving my face to the side and forcing his hand to slip off my head. He chuckled and stood up.

"Sure you weren't." He yawned loudly and walked to the door. "I'm gonna go to bed now. Don't feel shy about getting up and doing whatever. You live here now. Goodnight, kid." He smiled, I blinked, and he was gone. I stared at the door for a minute after he had left, wondering why he always left the doors open slightly, before pushing it from my mind. I got up and turned off the light before crawling into the bed, burrowing into the soft cotton sheets. I'd been staring at the ceiling for a while, thinking about the family in the pictures he'd shown me, when his words came back to me.

_'We have a bit of a problem.'_

I didn't have to think to know why Konohamaru's comparison of me and his mother was a problem. I wasn't going to be a permanent part of the toddler's life. If he got it in his head that I was some sort of replacement for the woman in the picture it would be even worse when I left. When Naruto did find a woman to spend his life with, a woman who would be Konohamaru's mother figure and I had to leave, it would affect him even more. A part of me seemed to break off at that thought. I knew from the start my place here wasn't set in stone, but it still stung more than a little to have that fact reinforced.

I rolled onto my side and watched the square of moonlight on the hardwood floor, trying to imagine the woman who would capture the warm and caring blond's heart. I imagined she'd be sweet, compassionate, more likely than not she'd be beautiful. She'd probably adore kids, maybe even have one of her own. I wondered how Konohamaru would react to having to share his papa's attention. I think he'd be too delighted at the prospect of a new brother or sister to mind much, but then again, who was I to know?

I didn't even falter as I took the woman's place in the imaginary family in my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

-

I awoke early again, fallowed moments later by the wail of Naruto's alarm clock. I let the annoyance go on as I got up and dressed slowly, still being careful not to tear the clothes given to me by the kind woman, though I knew it would take a lot more to damage them than just putting them on. I wandered through the kitchen, stretching and yawning, hitting the button on the coffee pot as I passed. I didn't creep into the room as I had yesterday, no longer afraid I'd wake the pair on the bed. Turning off the alarm, I retreated to the living room. Naruto's despair at being woken up too early remembered, I decided it would probably be best just to wake him at six fifteen.

Without having the little brunette or the blond to occupy my attention, I looked for the first time at the pictures on the walls. Of course I'd seen them and acknowledged they were there, but I hadn't paid too much attention to them. Most were of Konohamaru and Naruto. Their smiling faces looking out at me, happiness evident even in photos. As I went down the wall, the smile on the blond's face seemed a bit more forced, even desperate, while the child's remained happy and carefree.

Then the blond disappeared from the pictures all together. A younger Konohamaru still smiled at the camera appearing with a number of people. Kiba and his family, an odd looking guy with a bowl cut, a dark eyed, raven haired male who scowled slightly at the camera, another man with the same eyes as Hinata as well as the young woman herself. There was a schism in the pictures, Konohamaru going from about a year and a half old to the thirteen month old in duplicates of the pictures I'd been shown last night. I stared at the obvious gap in the pictures and wondered about it.

I don't know how long I'd been standing there observing and thinking, but when I looked at the clock it was time to wake my employer. I wandered back into the room, unsure of how to approach to keep a repeat of yesterday morning from happening, shifting my weight from foot to foot before coming to a decision. I lifted my right foot and tapped his tanned shoulder with my toes. "Naruto. Naruto. It's six twenty." When that produced nothing, I shoved harder.

I let out an indignant yelp as my leg was caught in his strong grip and yanked forward, forcing me to fall to the floor and land on my upper back. "I think I preferred the arm crushing." I snarled, thrashing around, careful of my now sore back. "Wake up! Damn." I cursed, throwing my other leg over the edge of the bed and kicking my captor. He shot straight up once more, forcing me to wince as the action forced me to roll over. "Please let go of my leg." I growled, tugging on my trapped limb.

"Wha...?" Was all he could say.

I lashed out with my foot once more, smirking slightly as it hit. "This actually hurts. Let go."

"Oh shit!" The pressure released before two strong hands pulled me up into a sitting position. Blue eyes looked concerned but his pressed mouth told me he was amused. I just glared at him, wondering how he got on the floor so quickly, while he shook with silent laughter. His eyes squeezed themselves shut as he stood, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the room. As soon as the door shut, he roared with laughter. I huffed and glared at him until he reeled it in slightly. "How? How did that happen?" he managed to ask before leaning against the wall and laughing some more.

"I'm glad you find it hilarious." I muttered, fighting to keep a smile off my own face. He followed me to the kitchen and finally seemed to reign in his ridiculous reaction.

"It was the funniest thing I've ever woken up to. Will you pour me a cup? I have to know. I have to know how that happened." I rolled my eyes and poured a second cup of coffee, handing it to him before I took the seat on the opposite side of the table. He burst into random bits of chuckling as he drank the strong liquid. I waited until they grew farther apart to open my mouth.

"I didn't want a replay of my arms being crushed. I thought if I shook you awake with my foot it wouldn't." I groaned and held my face up with my hands as that incited another round of Gaara inspired glee.

"I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that it didn't go as planned." His deep chuckles made me blush and want to laugh as well.

"You think?"

"Only sometimes."

I looked up at him and he smiled at me around his cup. I grinned back. "How do people usually wake you up?"

"Ha ha. No way. I wanna see how many ways you come up with." I glared. He grinned. "What time is it?"

"Six thirty-seven." His eyebrows raised in surprise and he gulped down the liquid and took off for his room. Konohamaru emerged seconds later, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he climbed onto my lap and settling there sleepily.

"Gaawa. Papa lou." He mumbled and buried his face into my chest.

"Yes. Your papa is very loud." He nodded and fell asleep in my arms. Naruto sauntered out seconds later, smiling as he spotted the sleeping boy in my arms. He walked over and planted a kiss on the toddler's forehead and rose, freezing momentarily before snapping out of it and messing up my hair with his strong hand, reminding me that the others would be up again today and disappeared into the hallway. As the door clicked shut, I couldn't help but wonder what that five second pause had been about.

-_Naruto_-

"Yo! Naruto! What's up, man?" I turned as I hopped out of the tractor at the sound of Kiba's voice, cursing as I almost missed a step. The Inuzuka waved both arms over his head like a moron as Akamaru jumped around excitedly at his feet. I mimicked his moves until he lowered his arms and grinned. "I figured it was lunch time at the construction site, so I thought I'd hop over." The puppy yipped happily as if in agreement.

I grinned. "Good timing. Lets go find something to eat." After we found a food vendor and had our lunch in hand, we sat on a bus stop bench and dug in.

"So how are things working out with Gaara and Konohamaru?"

I averted my eyes and swallowed the food in my mouth. "Good. Really good..." He waited, knowing there was more. I took another bite and chewed slowly. "He compared him with the pictures of our mother."

Kiba chuckled and handed his puppy a hot dog. "Let me guess, you didn't see it until he pointed it out to you?"

I turned to look at him. "What? Well, yeah, but... what?"

"You didn't!" He laughed and, I punched him in the arm. "What? Geez. You're a spaz, dude." He rubbed his arm.

"Are you telling me you noticed?"

He nodded then frowned. "Well, ma noticed it first, then told Hana who already noticed, then they told me... But I still knew before you." He grinned. "I guess I should've called and told you." I glared at him. "What? I didn't think Konohamaru would notice until after you did. That boy looks a bit like your mom. I mean, he's taller and male and his hair is darker, but he's got the face shape and skin tone that reminds me of Kushina." I sighed and tossed my sandwich to the eager Akamaru at my feet.

"Whatever. Konohamaru adores the kid and it's freaking hilarious when he wakes me up in the morning!" I snickered, thinking back to this morning. "Seriously, you'd have to see it!" He laughed as I roared. "I couldn't stop laughing even when he looked pissed. It was..." My words hung in the air, and my laughter died as I thought of what else happened this morning. It took Kiba a few seconds to realize I'd stop laughing and sobered up when he did.

"What'd you do?" I looked over and raised an eyebrow in question. "You've got that 'I've done something stupid' look on your face."

"You mean the one you see everyday in the mirror?" I tried to wipe whatever look he was talking about off my face and smiled.

He punched me playfully in the arm. "Don't skirt the question. What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" I protested as he began poking me in the head. "It's what I almost did..." Kiba dropped his arm and scooted closer to me on the bench. I let out a frustrated breath as he waved off the oncoming bus and turned back to me. "When I kissed Konohamaru goodbye, he was sitting on Gaara's lap, I mean, he was right there, and, well... I almost kissed him, too..." I trailed off, waiting stiffly for the laughter that was sure to follow. I was surprised when he bumped me with his arm, and I looked up at him.

"So? I mean, he's a cutie, as far as guys go." He made his whatever face before smiling at me. "And I know you don't have a thing about discriminating against gender. You dated--" I held up a hand.

"Don't even bring that up." He nodded. "I just can't get passed the fact that I almost kissed him. That'd fuck up this whole arrangement. Besides, it was just a spur of the moment thing, so I'm positive it won't happen again." I felt a little odd as the words left my mouth. It wasn't a good feeling, nor was it a bad feeling, it was just an odd emotion that settled in the pit of my stomach and left me feeling odd for even saying them.

He watched me for a moment, eyes studying my face, before consenting. "Okay then."

A nice silence settled between us, and we watched the cars pass. "So..." I grinned over at him. "What's up with you and Hinata?" Kiba blushed and smiled.

-_Gaara_-

Ino, Hinata and I were laughing as the toddlers beneath us giggled madly. "One, two... three!" Ino shouted, and we lifted the sheet quickly, making it arch as it filled with air, and the little ones ran out and back under as it fell slowly back to the ground. I couldn't stop laughing though my arms were beginning to ache from throwing the blanket up and down for the past fifteen minutes. I was just praying they'd loose interest soon enough and we could stop. My prayers were answered when Konohamaru's voice shouted 'Pe'er Pan' from under the sheet and was joined by the two others. I heard Hinata give a sigh of relief and Ino shouted for joy.

They settled down and I popped the DVD into the player. Ino stood and motioned for Hinata and I to follow her out of the room. The fair eyed woman stood, bustling after the pale blonde in a hurry, I just rolled my eyes before following suit.

While the cries of Wendy, John and Micheal poured from the living room, we sat around the kitchen table, mugs somehow filled with coffee before I could even say a word. "I just wanted to apologize to you, Gaara." Ino smiled over at me, leaning onto the table, both arms spread out on the table in front of her. "I really didn't mean to get so... over the top with my questions and for upsetting Konohamaru so badly and then bailing."

I nodded and took a sip from the mug in front of me. The two women seemed to relax at that simple gesture, and their bodies lost the stiffness between their shoulders, moving around a little less gently. It was about the time Peter Pan decided to save Tiger Lily in the other room when curiosity finally broke me. "What kind of relationship did they have? Sakura and Naruto, I mean." Hinata raised her eyebrows in surprise and leaned back in her chair, allowing Ino to assert her control over the conversation.

"Well." Blonde hair was flipped back, and I smirked. A true sign of a gossip lover. "Naruto used to have, like, this totally obsessive crush on Sakura when they were in junior and senior high school, but after Naruto got into collage he totally got over it, like without warning, I guess. They still hung out but he didn't bother her for a date for two whole months, and then just outta the blue asked her out." She giggled at this point and sipped the liquid in her cup before continuing. "According to Sakura, she handled it all wrong cause she was caught off guard. Nobody heard from him for weeks after that, a month later we found out." Her voice dropped, and she leaned toward me. I was irked to find I was leaning forward as well, hanging on her every word. "That was the day of the accident. Well, they did. I'm new to this group of old time friends, so all I've got is second hand info. If you wanna know more you'd gotta ask Sakura, Kiba, or Sasuke, maybe even Naruto himself. I don't think he'd talk about it, though."

Sadness seeped into my heart. Naruto had been turned down badly and found out his parents had died? That seemed more than a little unfair. The blue eyed man was too gentle and caring for that kind of luck. It was too harsh. I felt tears prick at my eyes but I battled them back. "It's all old news, anyway. Naruto takes being a father very seriously." Hinata chimed in and diverted the conversation. "So, what are you both doing for Halloween?"

Ino groaned and let her head flop down. "Moegi's parents are going out of town so I'll be taking her out trick or treating. It wrecked all of my plans, but whatever, I guess. The pay is double. Moegi wants to be a flower fairy, though. Oh, my gosh, her costume is the cutest!! What about you two?"

Hinata blushed. "Kiba and I are thinking about going to see Razed In Black."

"Are you dressing up?"

"I don't know yet. Kiba says I should, but... I can't think of anything."

The blonde's mouth fell open. "No way, I'm totally dressing you up. Halloween is all about dressing up and being a weirdo."

"If you're a kid." I put in, taking another sip from the cup in my hands.

Ino just rolled her eyes. "Pish. Not even. Kids get dolled up for the candy. Adults do it for the parties and the booze." I laughed. "What are you planning on doing?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Naruto will probably want to spend it with Konohamaru, so I'll probably be off, but... I'm not sure what I'd do."

"Geez. Why am I the only one with absentee parents? Whatever you decide to do, I'm making you dress up, cutie." I scrunched my nose in distaste at the nickname. "Seriously you two, I will make your lives a living hell if you don't let me get you all prettied, or scarified, up before you leave for your nights out on the town." She pointed at me. "I know you aren't old enough to drink, but they've got some wicked parties and shit that are all ages. Like the concert Hina and her man are going to, not my mug of beer, but each to their own, and that seriously seems like your kind of scene. You crazy scene kids and your weird music."

Both Hinata and I laughed when she rolled her eyes. We sat there in a cozy silence for a second before I noticed two pairs of eyes on me. I sighed. "What is it?"

"If this is too personal, you can tell me to shut up, kick my ass or whatever, but I gotta ask. What's up with the tat?"

I reached up and brushed my fingers over the red mark. It wasn't a bad subject, it wasn't exactly a wonderful memory either, but I'd gotten over it and opened my mouth to share. "The first man I loved bought it for me as a birthday present."

"What's it mean?"

"Love."

"Why'd you get it there of all places? And why 'love'?"

I thought about how to word my answer, but just decided to go with "Shut up, Ino." Both woman looked at me like I was crazy before the dark haired girl broke into giggles followed instantly by her blonde friend. I just smiled at them. We finished off the entire pot of coffee before I heard the movie end in the living room and we all stood.

Ino and Hinata gathered up their little ones, who had fallen asleep and bid me farewell as they left while Konohamaru jumped up and grabbed a big, blue book from the shelf. I smiled when he had to drag it slightly just to make it and lifted it from his grasp when he got close enough while he crawled into my lap. As he flipped the pages to the one he wanted me to read, I wondered how one little kid could like listening to someone read to him so much. "Dis one, Gaawa." I smiled at the way he said my name and began the poem he was pointing at. It was half way through when a sentence jumped out at me.

"Arresting is this alluring creature, deep, blue eyes a striking feature." My mind flew to the blond before I could stop it. Deep, sapphire eyes filled my mind, and I shuddered, my mouth reading the words without my mind catching them. Alluring was a great word to describe him, his eyes, his personality... his body. I could feel myself almost start drooling as I remembered it. All the tight angles I'd normally be jealous of suddenly attracted me in an indescribable way. I shook the images out of my head and finished the poem.

"Why is it I always come in when you're reading about fairies?"

"Papa!" Konohamaru lept off my lap and jumped onto the blond's legs. The blond laughed and scooped him up into his strong arms, cradling him gently. He smiled at me and my heart jumped. As Konohamaru jabbered on about our day, I gathered the discarded toys and books, putting them away and tidying up the house. After Naruto took a shower, we sat around the living room, because it was apparent they were not going to let me leave after the twelfth try, the two joked around and wrestled while I watched and occasionally got picked on.

As I dressed the little brunette for bed, Naruto walked into the room, a puzzled expression on his face. I gave him a smile and continued to button up the fuzzy, green footsie pajamas while Konohamaru mumbled lazily. "Gaara, have you been making the beds?" I only nodded focused on my task. He let out a deep chuckle that seemed to roll right through my body. "You know you don't have to."

"It's okay." I lifted the small child who immediately leaned into my chest, eyes drooping. "It gives me something to do when he naps." The blond smiled and took the offered toddler when I got close enough. As he leaned forward to take his son, our eyes connected, and I froze. A warm feeling spread throughout my body from my chest, making my breath hitch and heart skip several beats. It would take only a slight lean forward, just a little push, and I'd connect with those inviting lips. I panicked and tried to break the moment that was both terrifying and thrilling all at once. "It's no trouble." I whispered. He nodded, but we didn't move. I could only think about his lips and those few inches separating me from them.

"I wan pay moe." Konohamaru mumbled. I jerked back, thankful Naruto had a hold of the little boy, otherwise my action would have made him fall. "No tir." His papa just laughed and turned to leave.

"You're tired, just listen to your voice." Konohamaru continued to protest as they walked down the hall. I just sank to my knees, staring at a stray toy as my mind melted. There was no way I could get a crush on the blond. No way. I was just... it was just... He was my employer for Christ's sake. I tried to rationalize by an adoration of the blond's Hero Syndrome that he seemed to suffer from. Yes. That was it. It would pass and I'd be okay. I just had to calm my over active imagination until it did. For a moment it seemed as if he wanted to kiss me, too. But that was just my imagination. My imagination. Nothing more. Nothing at all. "What are you doing on the floor, kid?"

I jumped when his voice sounded out in front of me, grabbed the toy automatically and held it up, unable to look at him at the moment. "Picking up." He laughed lightly.

"Okay then. Can I get you something? You look like you're gonna pass out."

I shook my head and got up, putting the toy in its place. "I'm fine." I finally met his gaze and gave him a soft smile, trying not to turn into a puddle as he returned it. By some miracle, I survived and had the body strength to stand. "Goodnight." I whispered, careful not to make eye contact. His hand reached up and tousled my red locks gently.

"Goodnight, kid," he returned, leaving me alone in the room. I shook myself, slipped off to the bedroom that had been deemed mine and fell into a restless sleep.

-_Naruto_-

I stared at the dark ceiling above me. My three-year-old nestled against my chest, trying to rid myself of the increasingly odd thoughts I was having about the tiny redhead. Twice in one day I'd had the urge to kiss him. Twice. I rubbed my eyes with my palms and let out a frustrated sigh, trying to rationalize it in my mind.

He was good with my kid. I adored that. No matter who it was, if they were good with Konohamaru I automatically liked them. Konohamaru seemed to love him. That just made the redhead an even better person in my eyes. He was a nice, gentle, soft spoken kid whose smile and face reminded me of the woman who raised me and gave me my son. He was just all around a good person, though he'd probably seen a lot more in the years he'd been on the street than I had in my lifetime, and for that I admired him. It was as simple as that.

I rolled my eyes at myself and sighed. "Admit it, you idiot. You're crushing a bit." I whispered to the quiet room and nodded. So what? Oh, well. Gaara was still a minor, and I was officially putting him off limits and out of my mind.

I smiled. Yup, when I woke up tomorrow and from that point on, Gaara would be just like another little brother to me. I let my eyes slid closed and let the darkness take me as that thought settled my troubled mind.

-_Gaara_-

It was troubling to say the least. Very. The problem facing me was one I was determined to solve with success and the least amount of discomfort.

The sleeping blond tossed onto his side, mouth hanging open with a soft snore that made me smile. Tapping on the shoulder was out, poking with my foot a no-no, so what the hell was left? I smiled again as an I idea came to me. I crept to the side of the bed, counted to three under my breath and gave a good hard shove on his chest before jumping back. I laughed lightly when that evil hand shot out and swiped at the air before settling in a dangle off the side of the mattress, but the blond still didn't wake up. I cursed and crept forward again. My hands shot out quickly and found their target.

I cried out as that stupid hand snagged the hem of my shirt and snapped me into his arms. I struggled, pushing against his body with my hands while my legs flailed about. "This fucking sucks." I growled. My body was still hanging off the bed held up by his arms and one of my awkwardly bent legs. Waking Naruto was harder than anything I'd ever done before. I sighed and another brilliant idea came to me. I went limp and played dead weight in his arms.

Well, it certainly helped with the one leg holding my body up, it, however, did not help with the awkwardness.

We both crashed to the floor with a loud smack, Naruto's body landing on my own, pining my smaller body to the hardwood floor. I winced when my head hit it and his body landed roughly on mine, pain spreading from the spot I'd damaged and from the sound of the blond's smacked against the floor in the space by my head. He shot to his knees immediately, grabbing his forehead. "Shit fucking cocksucker grapes on a fork!" He cried out. I would've laughed at his switch between curses and kid friendly shouts, but he was still kneeling over me, forcing a blush across my face. I just waited there ignoring my own pain while Naruto wiggled around and cursed. "Damn. What the shit happened?"

"We fell." I answered.

His long fingers parted and crystal-blue eyes peeked out at me. I raised an eyebrow as his brain seemed to try and put what he was seeing together. I was becoming uncomfortable fast when he smiled and threw his hands into the air. "Fine! You win! Most people usually steal my blanket, climb onto the bed and shove me out of it!" He cried out, rising to his feet.

I grinned. "And that was all I wanted. Not too hard was it?" I responded, standing as well.

"Hard? It was painful." He moaned out as he followed me to the kitchen. "Damn. Are you okay? I hit my head pretty hard, but I landed on you, are you hurt?" His hands turned me around as I reached for the coffee pot, eyes giving me a once over. I shuddered.

"I'm fine." I muttered, pulling back and returning to pouring the coffee into the mugs, trying to calm my crazy heart. He chuckled and snagged a cup when I finished pouring it, hopping onto the counter. I listened to his meaningless chatter half heartedly and tried to steady myself. Geez. I wasn't some stupid virgin. I'd been touched before, touched by gentle hands as well as rough, there was no reason to get all warped from it. No matter who it was touching me.

"Okay. I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for work. You sure I didn't crush your ribs or something?"

"Would I be walking around calmly if you did?"

He laughed as he walked from the room. "Good point." I smiled and washed the cups, hanging them on their hooks before taking a seat at the table. I groaned and hung my head in my hands. I was really going to have to work on this 'overactive imagination' thing. It was becoming a problem. Naruto didn't help when he did things like that, though. Touching me, smiling at me, acting like he cared about me... I sighed and laid my head on the cool, wooden surface, the only sound in the apartment was the shower. I tensed when another sound made its way to my ears. It took me a second to place it.

A key in a lock... a lock sliding open.

I jumped up and ran to the hallway, freezing at the sight that met me.

A pink haired woman in a black jean skirt and red blouse stood at the door, hand halfway to the hook beside her with keys dangling from her fingers. Her light green eyes narrowing dangerously at the sight of me. "Who are you?" I asked, my eyes matching her glare without hesitation. Something about her screamed dangerous. She didn't answer. Instead she stalked forward, arms tensing as if preparing to launch back and hit me.

"Don't you question me! What are you still doing here?!" She hissed. I recognized her voice from the other day despite the distortion. I fought the urge to step back and didn't move an inch. "You look all better, so why are you still in this house!" she screeched, hands reaching for me. I flinched away but she kept coming. When her hands finally reached me, though, she didn't hit, she didn't scratch, she just grabbed me by the shoulders and started dragging me towards the door. I pulled against her, making her eyes light up in anger. "What are you still doing here you little whore?! You can't think this 'nanny' arrangement is real." I flinched internally, but my eyes met hers evenly and jerked from her grasp.

"I live here now." Her eyes widened briefly before glaring daggers at me. "I'm Konohamaru's new nanny." My voice was flat and dead by this point. It looked as though I'd slapped her in the face from the way she drew back when the words left my lips.

"WHAT?!" I willed my hands to not cover my ears at the sound of her screech. "What the fuck did you do? Suck Naruto off like the little tramp you are so he'd let you stay?" Her hands were on me now, and I forced myself to not fight back. This was bad. I knew it, but I also knew my spot in this household was not set, and if I damaged the woman Naruto was attached to, I would probably be kick flat out on my ass within seconds. And this life... this chance at a life was not something I would throw away to fight with this woman. I felt her nails scratch deeply into my cheek, the sting making me wince. Her hands were in my hair and throwing me back before I could catch up. I braced myself for the impact.

"Sakura!" Warm arms caught me before I could smash to the floor. I looked up to see a furious blond glaring at the woman in the doorway. "What the hell?!"

"Naruto! You can not be serious!! Whatever the fuck this slut did to convince you to let him stay here you've got to snap out of it!! I couldn't believe it when Ino called me yesterday to say this... this... WHORE was Konohamaru's new babysitter!" Her words stung again, though I willed them not to. "Are you out of your fucking mind?! He may have you, Ino and Hinata convinced he's a good person, but seriously?! What the fuck?!"

"Sakura." The blond's voice was a growl, and I struggled to get out of his strong grip, but his hands just tightened. The pink haired woman went on.

"This is just so fucking ridiculous! I'm calling Jiraiya tonight. Someone has to talk some sense into you! Oh, god! I can't believe this... I just can not believe you'd do this!!" She grabbed my hand and yanked me forward, the force making me nearly fall to the ground. "He's going back to the streets where he belongs and you and I are having a talk!" I began to panic.

His strong hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me from her grip and placing me behind him, making me notice he was in a towel, soap running down his back. "What the fuck are you doing here? And who the fuck do you think you are?"

"This is the stupidest thing you have ever done, Naruto Uzumaki!!" She shrieked, stomping her foot.

"Coming back here is the stupidest thing you've ever done, Sakura Haruno!" he shouted back. "What goes on in this house is no longer your concern, and I'd very much appreciate it if you'd turn around and leave this house and never return. Whoever I choose to replace you is my decision and my decision alone. You do not come into my house and attack people! What the hell is wrong in that fucking bubble gum head of yours to think this was okay?"

"Just because some little whore comes along and--"

"Do NOT call him that!!" I winced at the volume in Naruto's voice but moved closer to him.

"Be sensible, you fucking idiot!!" she screamed back, flinging something at him. He dodged it, but I didn't react fast enough, not knowing what it was or which way it was coming from. It grazed my ear, and I felt it begin to sting.

"Shit!" He turned to me. "Are you okay, Gaara?"

"Oh, now you've named it!! Why not?! Take it in, feed it, trust it with your child, why not give it a fucking name?!"

He whirled around and stalked towards her. "Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW!"

She raised her hand, slapping him hard across his face, and I prepared to pounce. She crossed the line at that point. "You stupid son of a bitch!! I don't think--"

A wail interrupted her, and I turned to see the three-year-old sitting on the floor crying his eyes out. I reacted instantly, using the energy forced into my legs when the woman slapped Naruto to rush to his side and gather him into my arm, rushing him back into the room he'd emerged from. Silence fell in the hallway as I rocked the small body, whispering gentle words into his soft chocolaty hair. Tense words started again once the wails fell into soft, silent tears. I jumped when the woman screamed again. "Fine! You and your harlot can rot in hell for all I care!!" The door slammed seconds later and the blond was beside us. I passed the child over immediately and stepped away.

"Man, what a first week. Sorry, kid."

"That was new. I've never been called a harlot before." I forced a smile at my joke and retreated to the living room. The need to fight had slipped from my body once Konohamaru started crying, and the whole experience wiped all the energy from my body. I collapsed onto the couch and let out a deep breath, letting my eyes close. The past few days had been crazy, but I still wouldn't give it up. All the ups and downs were a hundred times better than where I had been.

After a while, a warm body crawled onto my lap, and my eyes opened. Big brown eyes, red from the tears he'd shed, looked up at me innocently and a tiny hand touched my cheek. I jerked back automatically as it sent a sharp sting through my body. "You beedin, Gaawa. You beedin." I reached up and gently touched my cheek, the fingers red when I pulled them back. I was confused for a moment until I remembered the woman had scratched me. I reached for the ear that I knew had been hit as well and cringed when I brushed against it and brought back more blood.

"Watch out, baby. I gotta patch up the kid." Naruto smiled at me apologetically. "Why don't you get dressed, and he'll be all better when you're done." The toddler nodded and hopped to the floor, running to his bedroom. I flinched away from the cotton swab of hydrogen peroxide and the sapphire eyes smiled at me. "It's got to be done." I eyed him carefully before nodding in consent. My eye twitched, and I sucked in a deep breath of the disgusting chemical smell when it began to burn. He laughed lowly. "He was more scared of her slapping me than the yelling." He pulled away the red stained ball and swiped at my cheek with a new one before moving on to my ear. "I was surprised you reacted as fast as you did." That blinding smile was back as he pulled some gauze and medical tape from a kit beside him on the floor. "I knew I'd made a good choice." A frown crossed his face when he finished, and he grabbed both of my shoulders, eyes catching mine. "Don't let anything she said get to you. Don't."

I opened my mouth to tell him her words were true, but Konohamaru ran back to us, clothes in hand, eyeing my bandages. "Papa. Dee you kiss the owies betah?" I blushed madly when the blond laughed.

"Of course. Now, come here and let me help you." I snagged the clothes before he could grab them and he turned a questioning look to me.

"You still have soap on you." He looked down and started laughing.

"Damn. Crazy woman. I think I left the water on, too." He kissed his child and ran back to the bathroom. Konohamaru giggled.

I dressed the little boy and had his oatmeal almost ready when Naruto walked into the kitchen, fully dressed and grabbing a cup of coffee before joining me at the stove. He lifted a lock of my hair and gazed at the damaged ear. "She threw her keys. Crazy that it'd cut you, though. You must have some pretty weird luck, kid. I shouldn't have dodged it and left you standing there. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I whispered, pulling away from his hand. "She could've flung something bigger. I'm just grateful it was small." He laughed again and ruffled my hair gently.

"Have a good day, kid." I returned the sentiment gently. He pushed off from the counter, poured the remainder of his drink into the sink, said goodbye to his child and left. I watched the little one dig into his breakfast, made a face at the tasteless gunk before adding several spoonfuls of sugar to my bowl and eating as well. As we ate happy, pointless chatter from the little one filled the air and I set my plans to avoid Naruto's touch once more.

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**Man. It seems like I hate Sakura in this story. I don't though. I think she's a bundle of fun. Don't worry, there will be less drama for a while.**

**I'm not actually sure how much nannies make these days. My nanny made 150 a week, but that was a long time ago so I don't really know the wage these days. Ha ha! I used to call her 'Me-Mah', I don't even remember her real name... Dang. Anyway, new pollie poll on my page, you should votie otie. Ha ha ha. Oober thanks.**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Okay, so I apologize. I know Konohamaru is kind of hard to understand, but most three-year-olds are and I'm just writing them out like they would be said. And I'm sorry... but I don't think I'm going to change it... -ahem- Oh my wow! Tainted-reflection-126 drew some fanart for this story! XD You should check it out! Seriously. Oh... uh, masturbation in this chapter, but it's short, so... you can skip over it if you like.**

**Beta: Ugawa**

**Note: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, a grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which I love more than anything), some OOC-ness and a tiny bit of a love triangle.**

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**Chapter Seven**

-_Gaara_-

The rest of the month passed without incident. Konohamaru and I playing in the mornings, Ino and Hinata coming over in the afternoons, Naruto coming home and convincing me to spend time with them. I'd perfected the art of waking the golden haired man without getting trapped in his strong grasp. I started to plan the upcoming holiday with excitement for the two balls of energy. I was paid for the first time without thoughts of self hate. And to top it all off, the awkward moments between me and the blond diminished into almost non-existence. It was probably the greatest few weeks of my life.

It would've been perfect if I'd been able to smother my feelings for Naruto completely, but the time spent with the little family just made my crush on him deepen. Everything he did was soft, gentle and amazingly kind. After my second pay day, I accepted the fact I had a small crush on the wonderful blond, but still stood by my resolution to keep a safe distance. I would stand back and watch but not touch. For that was the only thing I could do with the feelings festering within me.

I flipped pancakes and rotated the sausages, while the tiny brunette jumped around excitedly at my feet, wondering what I was going to do with the night off when Naruto shuffled lazily into the kitchen. "Morning." He yawned out and fumbled the coffee pot.

"Morning." Konohamaru and I chimed together. Naruto laughed through another yawn and leaned against the counter beside me. The toddler attached himself to his dad's long legs in a hug, going on and on about the candy he was going to receive tonight.

"jeez." The blond smiled. "It's a good thing you're a freaking health nut or I'd be worried about all the sugar you're going to ingest before nine." I laughed. Naruto felt the same way as I did about most of the food that was prepared or brought into the house, but the three-year-old was the ruler when it came to that. I'd never heard of a kid so young who was obsessed with whole grains, fruits, veggies and organic foods like Konohamaru was. I smiled. The stuff did have a way of growing on you, though. Their entire way of life was growing on me.

In the time I'd been living with them, the dark circles around my eyes lightened considerably so that I began to wear eyeliner just to recognize myself, the food made me flesh out with lean muscle and their happiness seeped into me, making smiles seem like second nature. I began loosening my grip on the thought that it would slip away and started enjoying what was given to me that day. In fact, the only darkness I paid attention to anymore were my memories and the crush on the kind blond who smiled at me everyday, who included me every chance he got, who made my heart beat faster with each glance. I shook the thoughts from my head and tipped the links of meat onto a plate with the potatoes and carried it to the table.

Breakfast was almost finished when I noticed Naruto staring at me. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. His head tilted to the side before he opened his mouth to speak. "You know, it just occurred to me... shouldn't you be in school?" I froze, orange juice halfway to my lips, before covering my mouth and laughing lightly. I held the sound back with sealed lips but began shaking at the effort. "What?" he asked, smiling as well.

"I've been here almost two weeks and you're just now asking that question?" I managed to say without letting my laughter slip out.

His nose crinkled at me as his smile grew. "Yeah, well. It's been a long time since I even thought about school." I gained control over myself and lifted the glass for a second try when a knock on the door stopped me.

"I'll get it," I said, on my feet and through the door to the hallway before he could even react. I slid the locks back and opened it... only to gasp and jump back at the sight that greeted me. The green, slimy looking monster parted its disgusting lips and laughed. I grabbed my heart and tried to calm it down, while glaring furiously as the mask was removed to reveal a very amused Kiba smiling at me.

"Priceless." He patted my head like a child before closing the door and ushering me back into the kitchen. "Your face was priceless, Gaara. Dude, I was expecting you to answer the door." He laughed and put the blond in a chock hold. "but dang, red's face was freaking amazing." I narrowed my eyes at the stupid nickname Kiba had given me. Tan hands grabbed dark hair and pulled, forcing a strangled sound from the dog lover's mouth.

"Come on, Konohamaru. Let's go paint." I raised an eyebrow at the two men and grabbed the little one's hand. Naruto beamed up at me, still struggling with his friend, and I led the little boy out into the living room. I had the cakes of water colors out and was grabbing the paper when a crash sounded out in the kitchen, followed by Kiba's scream about syrup in his eyes. I chuckled lightly and sat beside the happy child, dipping my own paintbrush into the water.

We went through five pieces of paper before they joined us, faces and bodies sticky with syrup and random bits of food stuck to them. I made a face and regretted it when the same mischievous smirk broke over their faces. The blond crept towards me. "What are you doing? You're going to get syrup on the carpet." I leaned back as he got closer. "Seriously. Naruto... This isn't cool." The smile only grew as my eyes widened. "Don't even--" I yelped when he lunged forward, tackling me gently, gooey face sticking to mine as he rolled us all over the floor. "Naruto! Stop!" I shouted trying to push him off while he just laughed at my panic.

"Scared of a little syrup, kid?"

I lay limply in his arms, resigned to my fate of being covered in the sticky glop. "Terrified of it now." I growled.

"Oh, ho ho. Scary voice." He chuckled getting up and sitting me up with his warm hands right away. "Better stop now." That smile beamed at me, and I blushed lightly, feeling grossed out by the sticky substance that now covered my shirt and face. "Only playing around, kid." He smirked and messed my hair with one palm, before frowning. "Whoops." I glared when I realized the problem. His syrup covered hand was stuck in my hair.

"Not cool." I muttered again, pulling back quickly and winced when a few strands decide to stay attached to his hand rather than my head. "Ow." The loud brunette on the couch roared with laughter at that while Konohamaru walked over to stand in front of me. His pale, little hand reached out and touched my face. I smiled when his nose imitated his papa's and scrunched up as he pulled his hand back, the syrup stringing out in thin strands. He giggled cheerfully and repeated the action. "What are you doing, silly?" I asked as a smile spread across my face.

He smiled brightly at me before turning to scowl at the blond beside me. "Papa, you may mama all s'icky."

With that one sentence all the laughter in the room died instantly. I sat frozen in my spot, staring at the little boy and shrank in the silence. Kiba's eyes shifted between the three of us, his usual smartass comments far out of reach, face a mix of shock and concern. I didn't dare look at Naruto, but I could tell he was as still as I was. This was bad... this was very bad. My breathing shuddered violently as I tried to gather myself. What was I supposed to say? I knew I should correct the little one, but I didn't know how to word it. I figured the blue eyed man beside me was having the same problem when he remained silent. I smiled nervously at the little boy and stood. "I'm gonna go take a shower." My words were soft, whispered, but still they sounded out in the silence as if I'd shouted them. I hurried to my room, gathered my clothes and headed for the bathroom.

"Papa?" Konohamaru's voice made its way to my ears as I darted past, but I tried to shut it out, just as I had shut out how insanely happy I'd been when the child included me into his family in his own little way.

-_Naruto_-

"Papa?" Konohamaru's words brought me back to life. "You otay?" I glanced over at Kiba who stood instantly, mumbled something about a phone call and left the room. I tried to gather my thoughts quickly, but it was easier said than done. Brown eyes watched me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. I placed my hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath, not sure what to say.

"Konohamaru... Gaara... Gaara isn't. You shouldn't... Gaara isn't your mama." He frowned and his eyebrows creased together.

"Bu he is. Gaawa is mama." I squeezed my eyes shut against the sad look on his face. I hated that look. It was the same confused and sad look he'd given me the first time I tried to explain that I wasn't his papa, when I told him about our father and mother, when I pointed them out in the pictures. I knew he still wasn't old enough to grasp what I had been trying to tell him, but as he got older, he would begin to understand, and he would always know I never tried to take Dad's place. "Gaawa pay wif me an love me lie reel mama do."

My heart crumbled. "I understand that. I do. But you can't call him that, kiddo."

"Why?" I saw the redhead dart past in the hallway, heading for his bedroom, hair wet and face blank.

"Well... do you think Gaara wants to be called mama? What if he doesn't like it?" I regretted my choice of words immediately as his mouth fell open and he looked ready to cry.

"Gaawa mad?"

"No no no. He isn't mad, baby. He isn't mad at you, but Gaara is a boy. Boys shouldn't be called mama. Gaara is your nanny. You should call him Gaara okay, baby? I think you should apologize to him later, alright?" He rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Now, why don't you see if uncle Kiba will get you some juice?" He trudged sadly to the kitchen, and I just watched him go, still stunned by his words. In all the women, babysitters and nannies he'd had, he had never said that. He never called any of them mama. In fact, I was certain that I'd never heard him say that word at all. Now, after two short weeks, he'd deemed the beautiful, redheaded teenager his mama. I wanted to smile, I wanted to frown, I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry. All of these emotions waged war inside me. I knew this would happen after that day in the park, but I still wasn't prepared for it.

The emotions I'd kept back for the pale teen broke loose and flooded me. I fought them back half-heartedly. Every sweet moment between him and my son remembered, every shy smile, soft laugh, and gentle look clouded my mind. Some part of me sighed in contentment at the thought of the little brunette connecting enough with someone to call them 'mama', but a larger part screamed that it was wrong because it was Gaara he was placing in that roll. My crush on the boy was wrong. He was only three years younger than me, but he still was not an adult. The teen worked for me, and a distance should be kept. The fact he was male didn't even register as a problem, but the rest of it did.

I remembered I had resolved to think of him as only a brother, someone to take care of, someone to help. As the days passed that began to weaken. He was such a fragile looking male, so lovely and delicate, but he was strong and stubborn. He would argue with me passive aggressively. He took time to understand both my child and I. He found a way to slip into our lives seamlessly, not throwing them into a frenzy, but blending in. And he was secretive. Not in a way I was worried about him scheming something, but he didn't broadcast his old life, he didn't share all his secrets, and that, if I were to be completely honest, made him all the more appealing to me.

I stood and shoved those thoughts to the corners of my mind, walking to his room. I knocked lightly and slipped in when he called out. The towel draped over his head, forehead in hands, palms pressed to eyes. He looked up slowly, large, teal eyes connecting with mine. I suppressed a reaction to that sight before it could even start. "Has he said that to you before?"

"No. I would've told you if he had," he murmured.

I smiled softly at the odd hint of guilt in his voice, but guilt for what? I could not say. "I had a talk with him. He won't say it again and will apologize to you when you come out." He nodded and stared at his sneakers. He looked so lost in that moment. I wanted to walk over, put my arm around his shoulders and drive that look away, but I kept myself in check. "It's okay, kid. Children call the people around them, the people who take care of them, mama and papa all the time." I grinned. "And you just happen to look more like a mama than a papa." He shot me a look, and I laughed lightly.

He sighed, and his slender hands gripped at the dark blue comforter beneath him. "Is this okay, though? Is it really okay?" I raised an eyebrow, my face falling into confusion, and walked over to sit beside him.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

One of his hands rose and rubbed his forehead. "Naruto... This could get very bad. Even if he doesn't say it anymore, how can you be sure he won't think it? If he gets it into his head... that I'm... that I'm some kind of look-a-like or replacement for his mother in the pictures, won't it create a worse reaction within him when it comes time for me to leave?" Something dangerously close to panic started in my chest when he said that, and I felt my body tighten. He must've felt it, because his words seemed to rush out of his mouth after that. "I mean, not that that's what he's thinking or what I'm thinking or... uh... I don't know." I calmed myself.

"Planning to leave us already?" I smiled, and a horrified look graced his delicate heart-shaped face.

"N-no. That's not what I meant at all."

I titled my head. "But that's what you were just implying."

"I. It was, I mean... How do you always manage to make me sound like an idiot?" His voice flattened, and he glared at me. I laughed and patted his shoulder gently, puzzled when he pulled away from it faster than usual. I pushed that aside and smiled.

"That is a trademark Uzumaki technique, kid." I chuckled softly and bumped shoulders with him. He looked so confused it was impossible to stop my arm from rising and draping around his thin frame, smiling brightly. "Neji says it must be some idiotic bloodline thing, and my dad said something along those same lines once." He stood rather quickly, sliding out from under my arm and rose to leave the room. My smile fell a bit as I followed him to the door.

I'd been noticing it for a while, but usually shook it off as my imagination. In those few moments in his room, I realized it wasn't. He was deliberately avoiding my touch, shrugging me off rather quickly when I did manage to connect with him. I puffed my cheeks out and started cursing myself out in my mind. He probably preferred not to be touched due to his previous occupation... Maybe it made him uncomfortable when I did things like that. "I'm so slow sometimes." I muttered to myself, slid the door closed behind me and continued to follow him into the kitchen. Konohamaru jumped up when we entered, rushing to the redhead's side and latching onto his leg, burying his face in his jeans.

"I sowwy, Gaawa." His muffled voice made its way to my ears. The teen knelt to his level and made him look up into his face with a gentle hand.

"It's okay. Lets not do it again, though. Yeah?" The little boy nodded and Gaara smiled.

My smile was soft at the sight before me. Why I loved it so much when they interacted like this, I refused to think about. Gaara's eyes always softened while looking at my little one, his face lighting up with a gentle smile and a sense of peace rolled off him. Konohamaru's face screamed adoration to the young man as his mouth rose in a bright smile. I had to force myself to look away. Kiba was staring at the two as well, though, the look on his face was something I couldn't place... it looked calculating... I didn't like it very much, so I picked up a roll of paper towels from the counter beside me and flung it at his head, laughing triumphantly when it hit him right in the forehead.

"Dude! What the shi-- watermelon?!"

I had to laugh at that one. "Watermelon?"

"Shut up. At least I didn't say what I was gonna say." He glared at me, arm pulling the roll back to throw it at me. I prepared to dodge it when Gaara walked over and snagged it from his hand. We both stared dumbly at the teen who continued on with his business, grabbing cleaners and a wet sponge from the sink, with Konohamaru bouncing along at his feet.

"Syrup everywhere... never making pancakes again."

"Wait!" I called out when I finally caught on to what he was doing and the two froze, looking back at me curiously. "Why don't you guys go watch T.V or something? Kiba and I will handle this." I smiled at the nod I received from the redhead and he put the things down on the table, scooped up the little one and disappeared into the other room. "Okay, dog breath. Get to work. I gotta go take a shower." I ran out$ the room before he could respond, locking myself in the bathroom as he began shouting.

-

"Naruto, tell him he's just gotta hang with us tonight!" I raised one eyebrow at my friend and continued to rub the towel over my hair. Gaara was on the opposite side of the room, stacking blocks with my three-year-old. I almost laughed when the redhead picked up my child and moved away when Kiba moved closer. The brunette let out a frustrated breath and hopped over the coffee table towards them, forcing the teen to flinch and Konohamaru to laugh happily. "I ain't gonna bite, hold still!"

I laughed loudly. "Now what's going on?" I asked, flinging my towel at the shaggy man. He caught it with a smirk.

"He wants me to go to some club with him and Hinata tonight." Gaara stated, stepping onto the couch and sliding over the back, much to Konohamaru's delight.

"Why not?" I asked

"It's an eighteen and over club."

I raised my eyebrows and turned to look at Kiba. He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Asuma's gonna be working the door, so he'll have no problem getting in. Besides, it's not like I'm gonna let him drink or anything. It's a guaranteed good time! And he said he wasn't even sure of his plans, anyway."

-_Gaara_-

Ino called Naruto an hour before Kiba arrived to pick Hinata and I up, and she showed up seconds later with flower fairy princess Moegi, Hinata and carrying a black bag of goodies. I had the urge to hit the blond man as he laughed when the women physically dragged me back to my room giggling happily. Hinata was already wearing a creepy, Victorian looking black dress that cut off above the knees, showing the ruffled petty coats at the bottom with a giant rip across her stomach.

Ino sat me down on the bed, putting the bag beside me. I was a little too freaked to even look into it, and when they began pulling things out... I felt something similar to dread fill me. Yards of black fabric, black jeans, and a puffy, white shirt that looked so thin I doubted it could hide anything even if I wanted it to. The blonde handed me the jeans and shirt with the orders. "Dress in these or I'll castrate you." before they left the room.

I sat there staring at the items in my hand with a slightly horrified expression on my face before stripping and pulling them on. They fit. That was the most astonishing part, the next surprise... I actually liked them. The pants were tight, but balanced out the white shirt I was practically drowning in. I turned to look in the mirror before calling out for Ino. She looked positively delighted and began tucking the excess fabric into the hem of the pants. "I knew this would look awesome on you! You look so slam!" She babbled on, pushing me back onto the bed and pulling out makeup from the bag. "I'm so leaving that eyeliner on, it totally works with the look." I let her work on my face calmly, and when she was finished, she slipped a mask over my eyes and threw the black fabric over my shoulders.

I walked over to the mirror and was awestruck. The cape was elaborately embroidered with gold stitching and matched the golden Venetian mask over my face. She'd messed with my hair so that it fell over the edges and stood up in several places. It should've been a very masculine look, but the deep red lipstick and my small build made the look almost androgynous, leaning on the feminine side. I loved it and told her so. She squealed happily and dragged me into the living room to show off her work.

Naruto's mouth fell open, and his eyes looked me over, forcing my breath to hitch and heart to flutter nervously. The toddler, dressed as Peter Pan of all things, jumped up and down happily. "M-- Gaawa look so petty!!" He cried out. "Papa! Look how petty!" I ducked my head at that as a blush heated my face which only grew when the man agreed with his son. Hinata gave her approval, and I looked over towards her voice, nearly jumping out of my skin when I caught sight of her. The hole in her dress had been decked out to look like a vicious claw mark, and fake blood covered her stomach, neck and dripped out of her mouth. My reaction caused the adults around me to laugh.

By the time they all quieted, and the two children began asking about the trick or treating, Kiba showed up, a perfect match to the dark haired woman's costume. A blood covered werewolf. We walked to the street as a group, going our separate ways when we reached it. I waved goodbye to the little one clutching his papa's fingers and pulled on the hem of the cape. I turned and headed the other way to where Kiba and Hinata were standing, wondering how I'd even been talked into this. Stupid blond and his stupid ability to talk me into things I wasn't even sure I wanted to do. I should probably start listening and figuring out how he was able to do it... some part of me knew I never would.

"You really do look great, Gaara." Hinata whispered to me. I gave her a small smile as we walked to the club, wishing I was with the Uzumaki family.

True to Kiba's prediction, the tall gruff looking man at the door let me pass through without a glance after greeting the two with me friendly. The music pulsed around me, and I was swept into the booming room. Bodies were pressed close, and I clutched at the cape around me, slightly freaked out. Hinata's hand shot back to me and grabbed me by the shirt, pulling me after them. We found an empty table near the back of the club and claimed it as our own before the enthusiastic brunette ran to get drinks. The pale eyed woman turned to me when we were left alone and smiled softly.

"How do you like living with Naruto and Konohamaru?" she asked, voice raised to be heard over the music.

"It's nice." I responded, voice level with hers.

"Konohamaru is a ball of energy, just like his papa. Must be fun." I nodded. I felt so awkward, dressed like a nut and huddled in on myself. My fingers rubbed against my palms. The conversation followed that pattern for a few minutes before her man came back bearing beverages. A bottle of beer for himself, something colorful for the woman and sprite for me. I managed to get two drinks in before Hinata and I were literally dragged to the crowd of dancing people by the overly excited Kiba.

The music pounded around us, and the band on the stage was rocking. The masked and painted faces around me smiled and cheered, shouting out the band's name and singing along with the musicians. I had no idea who the band was, I wasn't able to catch the few lyrics that they sung, but still I was in awe over their sound. It was intoxicating, the rhythm they produced took my breath away. It was an electronic and dark sound that fit the holiday. I didn't know what kind of music to call it, what genre it would be placed in. But still, I was in love with it. It flowed through the crowd, creating different reactions in the people around me but all were positive, and snapped in the air like electricity.

I was dancing before I knew it. The music making me move automatically. I barely had time to blink when I felt body heat behind me, the body moving with my own. I tossed a glance over my shoulder. A tall, dark haired man stood there grinding against me, hands moving towards my body. I pulled away but he followed. After the game of walking away and him chasing after me, I just sort of gave up and began dancing with him.

For an hour he was by my side, and I didn't really mind... until he began getting handsy, and we started the game of push and pull once more. When the man's hands locked around my waist, I looked around a bit frantically, searching for Kiba or Hinata, shivering when I couldn't see either face. "You're certainly a cute one."

I glared up at him, know it probably wouldn't be as effective through the mask. "So I've been told." I growled out, pushing my hands against his chest, trying to force him away.

"What's your name?"

"Who says I have one?"

He laughed, forcing the gagging stench of alcohol into my lungs. "Too grouchy for one so pretty."

I pushed back once more, growing even more frustrated. "I tend to get that way when assholes are around," I snapped. He just grinned and grabbed my chin, pushing his lips against mine roughly. That was it. I snapped and bit his lip before I thrust my knee against his leg. He yelped and jumped back quickly. I pulled the mask off and was tempted to throw it at him. I probably would've if I hadn't been kind of fond of the beautiful thing. "I'm a fucking guy, you douche bag!" I snarled and stormed away when his face became mortified, only stopping when I recognized the laughing to my right. Kiba had a hold of his stomach and seemed to be in tears when I joined them.

"I told him he should help you." Hinata elbowed her boyfriend in the stomach, trying to hold back laughter from the look on her face.

"Are you kidding! The look on that guys face was classic!"

-_Naruto_-

"No more! I'm dying!" I moaned through a smile. Konohamaru crinkled his nose at me in a very Gaara like fashion. I shook that thought away as soon as my brain produced it.

"One moe!" he begged.

"You're not even walking!" I laughed though we moved on to the next house.

Ino laughed beside us, Moegi fighting sleep off in her stroller. "I told you to bring a stroller."

I made a face. "Men don't use strollers. We're much too proud." She laughed as we climbed the steps of the porch that I was praying would be the last for the night. "Though, it really is very painful to have pride." I smiled and pressed the doorbell. The old woman answered, oohing and ahhing over the little ones for a minute before dropping the goodies in their bags. We headed back towards where I'd parked the car, Konohamaru's energy dying with every step we took.

"Yes. Pride will make you suffer through a lot." The woman muttered softly, pushing the toddler along in front. I raised an eyebrow and managed to glance over at her. She gave me a look before letting out a frustrated breath. "Men. Proud idiots in denial. If it weren't for the sex, I'd totally give them up."

"Lesbian sex is pretty mind blowing."

"Yes 'cause you've had so much of that." She rolled her eyes and smiled. I laughed and pulled the keys from my pocket, unlocking the doors and strapping my little one into his car seat. I popped the trunk open after the kids had been settled in and watched her struggle to collapse the stroller. When she began thrashing it around and cursing, I took it from her with a laugh.

"This is why proud idiotic men don't bother with these things." She flipped me the bird as I folded it easily and slipped it in the compartment. She climbed in while I shut the trunk and walked over to the driver's side. It wasn't until I pulled away from the curb and headed back to the apartments did she begin talking.

"So, I heard someone called someone m-o-m-m-y today." I rolled my eyes. Kiba. "That's so cute. It totally fits, though. Gaara is all you-know-what-ish around Konohamaru. When I fudged up the first day we met, he was all over it when little one started crying and seriously looked like he was going to kill me. And they're so gentle with each other. I've even seen him scold him once, you know, that one time he got into your Go-Jo, but only after he stopped freaking out thinking little one had swallowed some of it. He'll make a good parent someday." I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. It'll suck when he leaves."

Her head whipped around to look a me. "He's leaving? What? No way! Why?"

"I didn't mean he's leaving right now. I just meant when he does." My fingers tightened slightly on the wheel, thinking of what he had said earlier. "He isn't going to stay forever, you know." I muttered, more to myself than her. There really was no reason for him to stay with us. If he really wanted to leave, there was nothing to tie him down, we really had no claim on the teen. He was free to pick up and move on at any time... I saw Ino shake her head as I pulled into a parking space.

"Men," she whispered and opened her door. I helped her carry the stroller up the stairs, juggling Konohamaru and his bag of goodies with it. We said our good nights and headed up to our apartment, my mind full of the young man who was becoming a frequent part of my thoughts. Konohamaru sluggishly pulled off the costume, and I got him bathed, his teeth brushed, into his pajamas and into bed without hassle. When he finally conked out, I changed into my own bedclothes and wandered out into the living room. I spread out on the couch and flipped on the TV, quickly finding some random black and white horror movie that I knew I would ignore.

I was beginning to really become attached to Gaara. I knew I was, and it was not a good thing. If I got too used to him being around, and if he left, I was sure I'd have a negative reaction right alongside Konohamaru and that would be a very bad thing. I knew it would come sooner or later, because his departure was not a matter of if, but when... I rubbed my eyes with my palms angrily. I hadn't even thought that far ahead, it never even really crossed my mind until he'd brought it up this morning.

I rolled over onto my back and watched the ceiling above me jump, darken and lighten from the light of the movie on the TV screen. There was nothing I could do with this feeling in my chest. Absolutely nothing. He was out of my reach, and not because I had put him there. No. It was Gaara himself that seemed to be pulling away from me. I supposed I wasn't helping. I had always been a physical contact kind of person, why hadn't I noticed he was uncomfortable under my touches sooner? Why hadn't I realized he was pulling away quicker with each incident?

"Hm. Could it be because I'm an idiot?" I rolled my eyes at myself. I wondered if every time I touched him, did he remember someone else's touch? Did he have a flashback of some other man reaching for him? Did he think about someone else when he stared off with that far away look in his eyes?

I frowned. Why did that thought make me angry? Why did the thought of some man or woman touching him... using him... make anger burn bitterly in the back of my mouth? It wasn't directed at the redhead, the hate was towards the man without a face in my mind. It wasn't an overbearing feeling, but it was enough to make me stop and recognize it as anger. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I asked the room, knowing I would not get an answer and stood up, walking to the bathroom to splash water on my face to knock some sense into myself.

Then my thoughts became dangerous as I stared at myself in the mirror.

How would it feel to touch that impossibly smooth skin intimately? If I kissed him... how would he taste? Would it be a subtle hint of flavour or would it blow my senses to pieces? Would his lips be as soft as they looked... as I imagined they would be? What would his face look like with pleasure distorting it? It would be beautiful... I knew it'd have to be. My hand drifted to the slowly awakening part of my body without me really noticing. What kind of sounds would he make? Would his voice be a sweet melody when darkened by lust? I hissed slightly as my hand connected with my arousal. What would it be like to hear him cry out with my name on his lips? My hand began sliding up and down slowly. Would his back arch off the bed, his beautiful body straining against mine? My pace increased, and I fell back against the wall, sliding down it. Would his hands grip at my back desperately? I had to bite my lip to hold back a moan. Would those thin legs wrap around my waist? Would his eyes plead with me, plead for me? The thoughts created an amazing image in my head and it seemed like my arm couldn't go fast enough. I could see it all playing out in my mind. I gasped at the feeling it forced through me and one last thought crossed my mind. What would it be like to hear him scream as he came?

I cried out as I came in my hand, all the air leaving my lungs, and rode the waves of bliss that exploded through my body. I sat there as it tore through me and my body seemed to thank me for the satisfaction I had just given it. When the thrill ended, I began to feel sick at what I had just done. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I groaned and stood to clean myself.

After I went and changed into a new set of pajama pants and tank top, I sat back down on the couch just as the credits rolled across the screen for a new ancient movie. I stared at the screen intently, trying to ignore my disgust at what I had just done and telling myself it was okay to be waiting up to make sure Gaara made it home okay. Because it was perfectly normal to want to know that he was safe.

-_Gaara_-

"Man, it's a shame Naruto didn't come. Ma even offered to take Konohamaru for the night," Kiba exclaimed after his twelfth beer and started on the next.

"Yes, but that's how he is." Hinata put in softly, sipping at her water and still not touching the alcohol in front of her.

"But even birth fathers take a night off. I don't know why he does this to himself." I swallowed and tried to pretend I wasn't listening intently.

"You know him. Once he gets into something, he gives it his all. He loves his son." Hinata smiled and her pale eyes connected with mine. "No matter how much he tries to correct everyone, Konohamaru is his son. I could never even think of him being anyone else's." She stood and stretched her arms above her head, excusing herself, disappearing into the crowd.

The brunette leaned towards me, looking me dead in the eyes, and I had a feeling... like I shouldn't listen to whatever he would say for some reason. "You know, before the accident, he was in collage. He didn't have any real plans. He was reckless, crazy. While we were in high school, we used to get into all these wild parties and drink until we'd pass out in random places. The lucky brat could shake off a hangover like it was nothing, too. It was pretty annoying trying to get him to shut up when ya had a major headache. Oh man, he used to drive Uchiha freaking nuts! They were so fun to watch together. And we used to tear up the campus with the crazy shit he'd come up with!" An alcohol stained laugh washed over my face. "But despite all that, he was a good student. His future was looking promising."

The happiness drained from his face. "He used to be everywhere, loved by everyone, my partner in crime, while somehow managing to keep both our asses out of trouble. It was like this talent he had... people trusted him, believed anything he said..." He took another drink from the bottle in his hand and stared over my shoulder, eyes unfocused. "It was weird when his smile died, though. When it vanished... It was like the world was turned on its side for everyone that knew him... And when he stepped up to take care of Konohamaru, it's like the old him vanished and a new version was there. Don't get me wrong, I love how he turned into an adult so easily when he needed to the most, and he's still who he was, just more responsible. But I miss those wild days. Ugh. I feel old now. Some one take this from me." He held the half full bottle up in the air. I took it from his hand and set it on the table beside me.

I stared at my thumbs, not sure of what to do. I'd always disliked being around drunk people... especially emotional, drunk people. I was about to excuse myself to leave when he spoke again. "He didn't have to." His dark eyes met mine. "He didn't have to give up anything. Their godfather, Jiraiya, and his wife Tsunade were all set to take him in, Konohamaru, I mean. They were going to take him in and raise him. Their parents' will stated Naruto was given guardianship if they were ever to die, though, I imagine they thought it would still be quite a while before that happened or if it would even be needed. Jiraiya was next in line to get little one if Naruto wouldn't or was unable to take care of him. They were pretty much set to take him in when nobody could find Naruto, but one day he resurfaced with an apartment, a job, a car and took his son." I swallowed. Why was he telling me these things?

"He never told anyone where he had been, but then again, none of us really ever asked him." He yawned and glanced back at the wasted people and the few sober ones trying to keep them from doing stupid things. "It's so weird to imagine the two apart now. Naruto's such a good dad. I just wish it would've happened for him under different circumstances." His eyes seemed to scream some silent message to me that I couldn't understand. "Have ya noticed he dislikes it when his son isn't with him? His eyes look so hollow... sorta dead. Right?" The song changed and, true to normal drunk guy stereotypes, the brunette jumped to his feet, shouting something that sounded like "I love this song!" pulling a returning Hinata after him onto the dance floor. I heard her laugh as they disappeared into the crowd. I pulled a napkin from under her glass, borrowed a pen from the woman beside me, though she looked too drunk to do anything but blink and breathe, and scrawled a note to the couple, telling them I was heading home.

I walked out of the building, pulling the thick cape tighter around me against the cold wind. My thoughts were a mess from the words I'd just heard and despite that... I wanted to know more. I wanted to know all about the blond's wild younger days, where he'd been when no one could find him... I just wanted to know so much more. The man had given up everything to raise his baby brother? I couldn't wrap my mind around that. If I had gone to collage, I would not have given it up for my family. I supposed I didn't count since my relationship with my family wasn't exactly loving or anywhere close.

Another part of the information I received jumped out at me. Naruto's smile had died before. I tried to imagine that. He always gave his smile to me. I never really saw him without it. And even if he wasn't smiling, the corners of his lips seemed to tilt up naturally through all of the other emotions that he displayed. There was always that ghost of a grin that lit up his face, making his blue eyes dance and glitter brightly and made his expression seem softer. If that were to go... could I look into that face without feeling the urge to cry? Would he even look like himself? The image my mind produced made a violent shudder roll through me.

I tried to block out everything I had heard that night. I tried to push it all out of my mind. If Naruto wanted me to know about his past, though I doubted it, he would tell me himself. But another thing jumped out of the replay of the conversation in my head. Kiba's eyes. They seemed to be trying to tell me something... They looked as if they were pleading with me. The look on his face trying to convey some hidden meaning in his words. I couldn't explain why it gave me that feeling, it just had.

I entered the building and trudged up the stairs to the apartment, pushing the key into the lock. When I stepped into the hallway, I was surprised at the fact the lights in the kitchen and living room were on ,and I could hear the television sound out some creepy music and dialogue. I slid the dead bolt into place before walking towards the sound, slipping my mask off and tugging at the cord tying the cape into place. I paused at the doorway and smirked.

The blond was staring at the screen intently, leaning towards it, elbows on his knees, chewing away on one of his fingernails. He swallowed loudly and scooted toward the edge of the couch. He didn't appear to be blinking or breathing and actually seemed a bit afraid. The music quickened, setting the mood for something to jump out and the blue eyes widened in response. "Having fun?" I asked just as the figure jumped from the shadows and Naruto yelped loudly, jumping up and tripping over his own feet, landing roughly on his side. I erupted in a loud laugh. The look on his face was amazing. Deep, blue eyes wide and mouth open in terror.

He was on his feet and stalking towards me in seconds, his breathing still erratic and his chest heaving. He glared at me and leaned his head down until it was inches from mine. I still couldn't stop laughing. "That wasn't very nice." He growled out while his mouth turned up in a grin.

I tried to reign myself in. "But it was funny." He stood up straight and his deep chuckle joined mine. I glanced at the clock, surprised when it announced it was almost two in the morning. "You're up kind of late."

He looked over his shoulder at the clock as well. "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely." All the laughter died in my throat. "The weirdoes are out tonight and they can get pretty violent." He'd waited up for me? He had worried about me? My heart fluttered and a warm feeling spread throughout my body. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah." I felt my lips lift up in a smile.

"That's good." He smiled back at me. "You smeared your lipstick."

I reached up and swiped at my face with the back of my hand. "Some idiot got a little too close." My nose scrunched up at the memory.

Something close to anger flashed across his face, and his hands landed on my shoulders. "Are you okay?"

I looked up at him curiously. "Yeah. It was just a kiss, and I got him off me pretty easily."

His eyes squeezed closed for a moment before a smile lit his face, and his hand ruffled my hair gently. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna turn in. Goodnight, kid. Glad you had fun."

"Goodnight." My voice came out as a whisper. He turned off the TV and walked to his room, giving me another smile before disappearing.

I stood there for a moment longer, trying my hardest to get that warm feeling to recede. I gave up and walked to my room quickly, my heart still beating furiously. I leaned against the door after I slid it shut, a hand rising to my chest, clutching the fabric of the shirt above my heart. He'd waited up to make sure I'd gotten home okay... He'd worried about my safety... He got angry when I told him some man had kissed me. "It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything." I whispered to the empty room, but the feeling in my heart refused to die down. My body began to shake as I stood there trying to force the feelings away again. It didn't work, and I felt like crying.

I was doing it again... I was falling for a man I couldn't have.

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**I imagine the movie Naruto was watching was The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Don't laugh. It scared the bejesus out of me. I be a wuss when it comes to black and whites. I think it's the music. The overly long description of Gaara's costume was needed for that last bit... Ha ha. Anyway. There's a link on my profile for the fanart. XDD Check it out! It's amazing!**


	8. Chapter Eight

**:O Over a hundred reviews? T.T You guys so rock... I love you guys... with a passion. X3**

**Beta: Ugawa  
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**Notes: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, A grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which I love more than anything), some OOC-ness and a tiny bit of a love triangle.**

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**Chapter Eight**

-_Gaara_-

Getting Naruto up the next day was going to be a chore. I knew that as soon as I woke up that morning. It was one of those rare Saturday's he had to work, and he'd gotten to sleep later than normal. I blushed. He didn't go to bed until two in the morning because he'd waited up for me... A happy bliss washed over me before I quickly threw it away. The fact that he had done it could make me happy, but I was not going to turn into a girl over it. I crept into his room at the normal time and pushed him off the bed. He moaned after hitting the floor but just rolled over. I sighed and stepped down off the bed. "This is not gonna be good," I muttered.

I walked around and grabbed him by the leg, shaking it gently. "Naruto!" Luckily for me he sat up then, eyes still closed, face still stuck in sleep. I felt guilty.

"More sleep? Please?" he pleaded, sounding just like his child. I had to smile at that.

"Naruto. You've gotta get up. You have to leave here for work pretty soon."

He rose to his feet lazily, letting his head flop around. I turned around and walked out the door, the blond's loud footsteps right behind me. Smiling, I headed for the coffee pot and poured a cup for him, only to stop when I realized Naruto hadn't entered the room with me. I grabbed the coffee I'd just poured and retraced my steps. I stood at the living room door and smiled at the sight of the tall blond draped across the couch, head buried in the cushions, arm hanging over the edge with fingers dragging on the floor. The muscles of the bronzed, toned back shifted slightly as the man adjusted slowly, pulling his other arm out from underneath his body. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him... studying his movements. I bit my lip and shuddered in delight, thanking whatever entity that lived in the sky that Naruto slept shirtless.

I wasn't even sure how I could be so fascinated by his body. Each day it was a different thing. His neck, his arms, his chest, his abs, and now his back... Damn. He could probably hold his hand out in my face and I'd be stuck admiring it. Well, his fingers were nice and slender-- No. Stopping right there. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and walked over to stand beside him. "Naruto. Come on you've gotta get up."

A stretched out, muffled 'no' made it's way to my ears, and I had to smile again. "Why's it so damn cold?" he asked sleepily.

"Maybe because you're not wearing a shirt." He groaned and stretched his limbs, popping a few joints, before rolling over to face me. His sapphire eyes were open and shining brightly at me, a lazy smile on his face. Again, all the air left my body at the sight of him. He studied me for moment, making heat rise to my face and heart jump in my chest. "What?" I asked quietly.

"You sure do make it hard to sleep." My eyes narrowed at his bright chirp, and I held the coffee cup up so he could see it. His smile grew and he reached for it, but I jerked it out of his reach at the last second, not spilling a drop. "Hey!" I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "Fine. I'm sorry! You're only doing your job! We'd be lost without you! Can I have the coffee now?" I eyed him, and he sighed. "You don't make it hard to sleep, and I'm a nitwit for even saying it." I smiled and handed him the mug. He laughed and took a drink as I stood and walked away. "Evil kid..."

"I do try." I called over my shoulder with a smile, blushing as his amazing laugh followed me.

-

"Naruto, I was wond-- You're... not Naruto..." I stared at the man in the doorway dumbly. He was an older male, skin almost as tanned as the blond's, a scar running across his nose and dark brunet hair pulled back in a ponytail. He shook his head slightly and smiled at me. "Uh, is Naruto around?"

"He's at work, but I--" I was cut off by an excited three-year-old running past me and embracing the man.

"Wuuka!" Konohamaru cried.

The man knelt down and patted the little boy on the head. "Hey, little man, how've you been?" The toddler beamed up at him, and I smiled as he began chattering away. I moved away from the door and let the brunet be dragged into the apartment. Moments later when Konohamaru ran away to go get something, he turned to me with a smile. "I'm Iruka Umino. I live just across the hall."

"Gaara Sabaku. Konohamaru's nanny." I nodded and took the offered hand.

He smiled at me and held up a bowl. "I actually came by to ask for a cup of flour. Kakashi hadn't told me we were out." I nodded again and lead the way to the kitchen. "I didn't know the kid hired a new babysitter for little one." I smiled at the blond being called a kid instead of me. "How long have you been working here?"

"Two weeks," I answered, pouring flour into the bowl and handing it back to him.

"Ah. That's right, I've seen you around the building before. How do--"

"Where gween ball, mama?" Both Iruka and I flushed at Konohamaru's loud call. He excused himself and left quickly. As soon as the door was shut, I breathlessly ran to the toddler's bedroom. He was standing by his toy box when I entered, hands over his mouth and paler than a sheet of paper. So he knew he'd just made a no-no... "I sowwy, Gaawa! I sowwy." I knelt down in front of him and took a deep breath, trying to piece together what I should say. When that failed horribly, I decided to wing it.

"I know you're sorry, baby, but you've got to remember..." I faltered, not knowing where to go from there. I knew I had to go through with it. I had to... "I can't be your mama." Silence enveloped us, a stinging sorrow stabbing at me from the look in his eyes. Several seconds passed before he said something I didn't know how to reply to.

"Bu why? Why Gaawa can' be mama?" His eyes peered into mine and held them desperately. There were tears in those chocolate brown orbs, and I could feel the need to cry spring within me. I searched my mind quickly and blurted out the first thing that sounded like it could get through to him.

"Because only girls can be mama's."

"Guls?" His little eyebrows creased together and bottom lip jutted out in thought.

"Yes, girls. And I'm a boy... like you and papa. So I can't be a mama."

A minute passed, and I thought I'd finally made sense to him, but his next statement knocked the wind out of me. "You can be my mama anyway..." I stared at the little boy in front of me, my mouth hanging open and that need to cry smacking me in the face again. I had to blink several times to keep the tears from escaping. I closed my eyes against his pleading gaze and tried to gather myself together. His words resounded in my head and lifted me happily. I couldn't even push that happiness away if I'd tried. Such an innocent statement from a child that couldn't possibly understand what he'd given me by saying those words. I caught myself before I could whisper the words I wanted to say. 'I'd be your mama if I could.'

Instead I went with, "It doesn't work that way, Konohamaru. It just doesn't work that way."

-

"We're having a party tomorrow." Naruto announced a week later.

I stared over at the blond, mouth open slightly, frozen where I'd been kneeling to place the groceries in the fridge. "Huh?" I asked.

"I'm turning twenty one tomorrow."

"Oh."

He smiled at me from his place by the sink. "It'll just be a few of my friends. No drinking or anything wild. I don't allow that kind of thing around Konohamaru, as you know. They wouldn't let me blow this one off like I usually do." My eyebrows scrunched together. He never told me is birthday was coming up, I mean, I knew when Konohamaru's was, but Naruto's had remained a mystery until that moment. His smile dropped a bit but didn't leave entirely. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to come. You don't have to, I know it's your night off and we've been pretty much monopolizing all your time, but I'd really like it if you wanted to come." I stared into those crystal-blue eyes and cursed. His words had made me breathless again. His eyes shifted from mine and he bit his lip, which made me have to kill a moan that wanted to escape my throat. "You don't have to. I just wanted to ask."

I shook my head to clear the thoughts that I shouldn't be having and gave him a soft smile. "I'll be there."

"Really?" I felt the need to shield my eyes as his smile seemed to become blinding. His long legs brought him to my side in seconds, his large hands covering mine as he pulled me to my feet. "Really? You'll come?" I nodded, my face fighting off a smile and a blush all at once. Why did he have to look so damn happy over something so trivial? It was fucking with my head, screwing with my heart. I wanted to call him an idiot and pull away, but his insane look of happiness kept me rooted to the spot. "Awesome. Sasuke and Lee have been asking about you. Actually, all of my friends have been asking about you... and I guess it doesn't help when Kiba says I'm hiding you on purpose. One of these days I'm going to have to kill him for real." Most of what he said was lost on me. I was much too focused on the warmth of his hands on mine.

I was so amazed at their size, their warmth, the way they managed to be soft despite the calluses that covered the fingers and palms. I knew he had no idea what he was doing to me by the simple amount of physically contact, but I wasn't going to tell him. No. Because if I told him how it made my heart beat faster, how it made my breathing hitch, I'm sure he'd never do it again, and that thought didn't sit well in my stomach. It seemed like he'd been avoiding my eyes all week and he only touched me out of necessity. I hated it.

"Up?" I looked over at the sound of Konohamaru's voice. The tiny brunet reached for his papa, stretching up on his tip toes, fingers stretching as far as they could go. Naruto laughed brightly and released his hold on my hands, lifting his son into the air. Big, brown eyes peeked back at me shyly. "Gaawa hug?" I raised my arms out to take the child from Naruto's arms, but the little hands wouldn't let go to the blond's shirt.

"You've got to let go of me if you want a hug from Gaara." Naruto told the toddler gently.

"I wan hug fom bof papa an Gaawa." The little boy nuzzled his nose in his papa's chest, while a hand reached back for me blindly. "Lie at store. Bof papa an Gaawa." I cursed silently and took a step back. Naruto raised an eyebrow at me, blue eyes asking the question. I shook my head and his head tilted slightly, looking more and more perplexed. "Peas?"

"Not right now okay, baby. Maybe later." Naruto kissed the top of his head, squeezed him close and set him on his feet. "Why don't you go get your coat and shoes so we can go rent a movie. Yeah?" The little boy stared up at the blond, his little lips stuck in a pout. Sapphire eyes caught mine and he gave me a 'what the hell?' look. I just shook my head again as Konohamaru turned around, gave my legs a big squeezing hug as I patted his back gently before he ran to his room. "Okay, now, what happened at the store?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When we were shopping this morning, a woman was holding a baby... and her boyfriend, or husband, or whatever, came up and hugged them both. You know, with the child in between them. Konohamaru got really excited when he saw it." His eyes fell to the floor. "I guess I know why now." One of his hands raised and he bit his thumbnail absently, golden bangs falling into his eyes. I'd already told him about what had happened the Saturday he'd had to work, and the same atmosphere from that time settled around us once more. I shifted awkwardly in the silence. I used to love the absence of sound, even when I'd been a child silence had been comforting to me, but ever since I'd lived with the little family I had come to hate it. It just didn't feel right here. It didn't belong in their home.

"You were right." The deep, blue eyes met mine again, freezing me in place.

"About what?"

"I should've been a bit more worried about the m-a-m-a incident. I think he might be--"

"I's done!" Konohamaru shouted, running into the kitchen, sliding to a stop in front of his papa on his socks. I opened my mouth to scold him, but I snapped it shut, figuring I shouldn't try to assert authority when the blond was home. It wasn't my place to warn him about doing something dangerous like that. Naruto just laughed and took the offered shoes, making the little boy sit on the floor while he put them on for him. "Rice? Peas? Wif hot stuff!" My eyebrows came together. I usually understood Konohamaru so well, but that had been gibberish to me. His papa flashed me a smile when he caught the look on my face.

"I guess we're having Thai tonight." He lifted the three-year-old and cradled him in his arms as he walked up to me. I was going to ask him what he was doing when he handed the small brunet to me and grabbed his coat from the counter, slipping it on quickly. My heart fluttered when the large hands that held mine so easily brushed against my arms gently when he reached out and took his son.

My eyes fell to the floor. What was with me? Why did each little touch make me want to cry? Naruto made such weird reactions spread throughout me at every simple brush of the skin. Happiness filled my heart while a strong despair pulled me away. It was like hearing all your dreams were coming true and everything you'd ever wanted was right before you... but it all belonged to someone else. You could see it, hear it, smell it, but you could never touch it, you could never have it. I hated it so much. I'd spent the last week wanting him to touch me, while hoping he'd never touch me again at the same time. I was so full of contradictions. I could do nothing but stand still and listen to them, for where do you go when part of you wants to go up, but the other says to stay down? Forward, back. Left, right. Nothing was left to do anymore. It felt like I was trapped with no way out.

"Gaawa!" I snapped back to reality as a chubby hand waved around in front of my face. The two Uzumaki's were staring at me in confusion. I bit my lip and gave the look right back at them.

Naruto laughed. "I didn't think it was that hard of a question."

My shoulders drooped a bit more. "What?" Konohamaru tilted his head to the side and gave me a soft smile. I cringed under his gaze. His eyes seemed to scream that he knew what was going on inside of me, though I knew that couldn't be true. It was like he knew what I had been thinking, like he could feel all the conflicting emotions in me. I gulped and refused to take the step back that I really wanted to take. His little hand lifted and he clumsily pushed a lock of hair out of my eyes, patting my cheek when he'd finished. I smiled and his grew.

"Uh... I asked if you wanted to come with us." My eyes raised to his papa's, that little act calming me down somehow.

"Sure, let me go get my jacket." I smiled and walked around them. I don't know why, but that soft, caring touch made all my worries melt away. Maybe it was foolish, but it seemed to tell me not to worry, because it would work out on its own. There was no reason to panic over every little thing. I should take what they gave, give what I could without crossing those lines, and leave it at that.

-_Naruto_-

I was struck into stupidity by an amazingly breathtaking look of peace that settled on Gaara's face after my little one brushed a few soft strands of that beautiful, crimson hair from his face. It was like they had communicated in those few seconds, like something had been passed between them that took away the frightened and confused look in the teen's eyes since this morning. A soft shudder rolled through my body, and goosebumps raised on my arms. I was amazed at the way he and Konohamaru were bonding. It just seemed to grow between them as the days passed and it made me breathless with each incident. The three-year-old in my arms wiggled around to look up at me with a smile on his face. I returned it and kissed his forehead.

"I'm ready." I looked over at the sound of his voice, my smile just grew. The look of peace from the moment between he and my son was still on his face, making his skin seem to glow slightly and his eyes shine. How could anyone blame me for being attracted to him?

We walked to the video store a few blocks away, Konohamaru resting in my arms while one little hand hung onto Gaara's, jabbering away about spicy rice. I stayed quiet for the most part, just listening to the two interact. When we walked into the store the two walked towards the kids' movies and I headed for new releases automatically, like it was all routine... I had to pause when the redhead's laugh made its way to my ears. A frown marred my face when I realized I didn't hear that sound much. A fluttering feeling always made its way through me whenever I did hear it, though. Its soft gentle sound was something I adored.

"Idiot." I shook my head and grabbed something from the shelf blindly. "I hate you and your stupid feelings." I muttered to the organ that stupidly reacted to everything the teen did. Something moved in my peripheral vision, and I turned to see an older man staring at me like I'd lost my mind. I smiled sheepishly and retreated down the aisle, feeling like a moron.

"Papa!" Konohamaru jumped around my legs, a DVD held high above his head. "Dis one! I lie dis one!"

I grabbed it from him, looking at it briefly before raising an eyebrow to look at my toddler. "You're kidding."

"I told you he was going to say that." Gaara laughed lightly, standing a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest.

"No, you say he laugh." Konohamaru hopped his way over to his nanny, pouncing on the thin legs when he got close enough. The teen wobbled a bit, hands flying out awkwardly as he started to tip. I grabbed his sleeve and held him steady until he found his balance, laughing loudly at the face he'd made. Konohamaru's giggles joined mine seconds later and he removed himself from the legs and latching onto mine. "Peas get dat one, papa?" I made my 'I'm thinking about it' face for a second and consented. The toddler shouted for joy, and the woman next to us laughed.

"But, I swear on every piece of clothing I own, if you ever want me to rent a Barbie movie, I'll lock myself in my room for two weeks." I smiled placing the movie with the one I'd gabbed.

Gaara smirked. "Sounds good. Come on Konohamaru, let's go see if they have Rapunzel."

"We're leaving!" I laughed, grabbing them both by the backs of their shirts and dragging them to the counter.

-

We were halfway through _Tinkerbell_ when the tiny brunet fell asleep beside me, food half eaten in front of him on the coffee table. I smiled and picked a sauce covered noodle off my chest. "Gaara, could you change this before I bash my head in." He nodded, popped the other movie into the player and went back to his spot on the other side of the room. I fought the urge to laugh. I understood the distance thing, but he was taking it to an extreme.

We had been halfway home after picking up the food, when Konohamaru made a demand that froze us both. "Papa, hol Gaawa's hand." When we both refused, he'd began to cry. "Why? Why no?" He pointed to a couple with a small child across the street. "They hol hand." That crushed me. How was I supposed to explain that the people across the street were a family and the three of us were not? That Gaara wasn't his mama? I fumbled for words uselessly. It had to be done, but I couldn't bring myself to crush him like that.

Gaara saved me from saying what needed to be said in the worst way he could have. His hand grabbed my jacket sleeve tentatively. Konohamaru seemed to see it as the best he was going to get from us and quieted. For the rest of the walk home, his wide, brown eyes stared at the pale hand gripping at my coat gently. I knew I shouldn't have allowed it. I knew we should've stopped and put the 'mama' idea to rest. But I was too focused on that hand as well.

I was snapped back to reality when the redhead snorted. I looked over at him, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. He shook his head. "I don't understand how you two end up wearing most of your food." I looked down and found sauce speckling my shirt randomly, a stray noodle laying in my lap, and smiled.

"I don't know. I don't understand a guy that can eat take-out straight from the box without getting it on his shirt and face." I grinned, meeting his eyes. He stared at me silently for a moment then did the thing that made my stomach flutter in excitement.

Gaara smiled.

Gaara laughed...

The sound caused a shiver to roll down my back and made me feel weightless. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time, and it worried me to no end. How could I do this? I shouldn't be feeling this... I shouldn't be feeling this for him. When his face lit up in a smile, it should make me happy, but not giddy. When he connected and had a moment with my child, it should make me feel content, not awestruck... not feel like it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Being around him should not take my breath away, but still it did. I swallowed nervously when he licked his lips and pulled his knees to his chest, looking like he was making himself at home on the love seat. Whenever Kiba did that I could honestly say I felt nothing, but when Gaara did it... it was like a weird sense of right spread through me. Because this was his home.

I turned my eyes back to the TV. No. This really wasn't his home, I knew nothing about his real home. And we were not his family, no matter how Konohamaru saw it. I knew I should bring up the incident from earlier. I knew we should talk about it and why he gave in, but I couldn't open my mouth to say anything. Gaara helped me clean up and put the food away after the movie that I'd randomly grabbed ended before saying goodnight and slipping off to his room. As he disappeared into the dark, something screamed at me to bring him back out, to talk about the feelings boiling away inside me rationally, to talk about what had happened earlier, but I blocked it out and returned to the living room to take my little one to bed.

-

"I will fucking **kill** you." I growled into the phone the next morning, careful to keep my voice unheard by my three-year-old who loved to mimic any bad word I let slip out around him. "Kill you and hang you by your intestines out my window as a warning to the entire world to not cross me. I will bathe in your blood with **glee** and eat your black heart for a fucking snack."

Sasuke snorted. "Glad to see your threats are getting more imaginative."

"That's all your influence, my dear." I smirked. "But it's more of a promise of what I'll do to you if you do hire a male stripper for tonight. I don't even want a party."

"Then just agree to go out with us. Only an hour, I promise. One beer as a legal adult and that'll be it. Even Kiba agreed to let you slide away with that."

"Sasuke..." I growled.

"It's an Uchiha promise, dobe. You can't get a better guarantee then that. We'll leave after Konohamaru goes to sleep. One beer and you'll be free to leave. I'm sure your Gaara could handle it." I frowned. My onyx eyed friend had started calling the teen 'your Gaara' for the the past week and it was beginning to annoy me to no end while still managing to make be blush like a moron. "You do realize that if you don't agree now, you'll be bothered by everyone about it all night until you do. It will be one beer and, with your high alcohol tolerance, it won't even phase you."

I sighed and hung my head. He had already begun convincing me at 'Uchiha promise' and I was weakening as he went on. I hadn't had a drink in so long... and I missed going out. Only a little bit, but still I missed it. "One. At the bar down the street from where I live. We'll walk there, I'll have one beer and walk home thirty seconds after we sit down at the bar." He let out a soft chuckle.

"And that is all we ask."

"Only if Gaara says he doesn't mind."

"I doubt that will be a problem."

"Shut up, teme. I'm telling you now. I will not enjoy it. I will hate every second I'm there." I lied so well I almost convinced myself.

"I don't care, you'll still be out of the house." There was a soft click, and I knew the bastard had hung up on me.

-_Gaara_-

I expected the blond's friends to be a loud group, and they were not ones to disappoint.

The first one I met was a young man named Lee... Five seconds after being introduced I wanted to kick him in the head. How anyone could shout so much about nothing was beyond me. With his weird haircut, eyebrows, and outfit, I was willing to bet he had to work in a circus, so when Naruto told me Lee worked with him I was surprised. What an odd person. It took me exactly one minute and twelve seconds to remember where I recognized him from. He was in one of the pictures in the living room, baby Konohamaru in his arms. When he walked away to pick up the toddler, Naruto leaned over and whispered, "I know what you're thinking and no, you don't ever really get used to his unique personality, you just like him because of it."

Hinata and Kiba showed up moments after Lee, another male from the pictures with them. His light irises told me he must've been related to the young woman on Kiba's arm. His name was Neji and, indeed, he was Hinata's cousin. His pale skin, delicate build and long, brown hair should've made him look very feminine, but his body language screamed masculinity. It was actually kind of intimidating the way he held himself, like he was far superior to the rest of the world, but when he smiled at the three-year-old gently, all that icy exterior melted away and he was just a regular collage student.

Ino came with two men that Naruto introduced as Shikamaru and Chouji. The first looked so bored I wondered what was keeping him from leaving. His hair was pulled up in a ponytail that flared out and made me want to laugh a little. Chouji was a loud, heavy set frat boy... or at least he seemed like it. The first thing he did when he'd walked into the apartment was grab Naruto in a headlock then give me a strong slap on the shoulder. I fought the urge to retaliate and walked as far from him as I could.

A lean brunette ran in seconds after Ino and her group arrived carrying bags of food I was sure rarely entered this house. She introduced herself as Tenten as we put the food out on the table. Her personality was bright and her voice strong. I liked her. The neighbors, Iruka and Kakashi, came over as well, Iruka joining Tenten, Hinata, Konohamaru and I in the kitchen while his silver haired boyfriend disappeared into the living room with others.

I was uncomfortable to say the least. I didn't really know anyone other than Hinata, Ino, Kiba and the neighbors, and I felt severely out of place. I was pouring juice into a sippy cup for Konohamaru and making small talk with Iruka when Naruto came into the room loudly. "Damn it, Sasuke! He's right in here." I looked over my shoulder as the blond stopped next to me. A slim male with jet black hair stood a few feet away, his dark, black eyes studying me. "Gaara, this is Sasuke. He's a bastard. Sasuke, Gaara." The man eyed me carefully, hands in his pockets, body leaning back, head lifted high. He looked like someone with a superiority complex the size of the entire block. I could tell right away I disliked him, and when he opened his mouth to speak that dislike only grew.

"He looks like a domesticated kitten." He smirked when I glared and tilted his head back. I opened my mouth to snap at him, but Naruto cut me off.

"What?" He looked ready to laugh. "What does that mean?"

"If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you." He snorted and turned to leave the room.

"He means I look like a plaything made into a housewife." I muttered angrily. I'd heard that term plenty of times. A whore finds a man who wants her to be, or she tries to be, the picture perfect June Clever for him. Usually used for little, club hopping beach bunnies, but occasionally a prostitute as well. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if the term wasn't usually associated with abusive men. Naruto stiffened beside me and a soft growl started in his throat. I looked up and nearly dropped the sippy cup I'd just filled when I noticed he was glaring at his friend.

"Can I have a word, Sasuke?" The raven haired man looked just as surprised as I did and followed the blue eyed man from the room.

"Ooh! Sasuke's in trouble." Tenten snickered beside me as I handed the juice to the three-year-old. Iruka and Hinata laughed as well. I looked up at them, confused as to why it was so funny.

"He deserves it." Iruka stated from his place by the sink. "I can't believe he said that."

"I think Sasuke has a problem with not thinking before he speaks just like Naruto, only he can get away with it because of the way he talks," Hinata mumbled, staring into her cup.

"Why would he be in trouble?" I was confused. I mean, other than the June Clever crap, it was pretty much true. The three stared at me like I'd lost my mind. "What?" Tenten sighed and leaned against the refrigerator.

"Haven't you noticed? Naruto's pretty protective of you." Hinata smiled up at me.

-

"Hey, there you are. Thought you'd disappeared on me, kid." I smiled up at the blond man as he walked into Konohamaru's room, swinging the door slightly closed behind him.

I turned back to the sleepy toddler, picking up the pajama shirt. "Arms up." He did so half-heartedly, and I slipped it over his head. "No, he was getting tired so I thought I'd dress him for bed. I was actually just about to go find you." I pulled the hem down and lifted the toddler gently. The tiny brunet let out a small sigh and cuddled up to my chest, hands grabbing at my shirt.

Naruto leaned forward and kissed the wild, brown hair gently, leaving me breathless at the close proximity to my face. Konohamaru made a soft noise of contentment and buried his face further into my shirt. The blond smiled softly. "Why don't you carry him to bed. I don't think I want to move him just yet." I nodded, not trusting my voice. We walked to the room together, Naruto following so close behind me that I could feel the heat of his chest on my back. I blushed when the urge to lean back into his arms came over me and quickened my pace a bit.

When I got to the side of the bed, I moved to put the child down, but Naruto's hands on my shoulders stopped me instantly. The gentle hands moved me back and forth softly, rocking both the child and I gently, as he began to sing softly. The lullaby was soothing, gentle, relaxing, and I almost fell asleep right there. It was amazing how Naruto's gruff voice could mellow out and lift, making it the center of my world for one brief moment. I loved when he sang to his child, there was always so much love in his voice... It made every part of my body react, with the exception of my happy area, but I'm sure if he sung the right words I wouldn't stand a chance. Konohamaru's soft snore moments later brought me back to earth, and I laid him down, pulling the blankets over his small form, before I practically ran out of the room.

As I stepped through the door, I smacked right into Sasuke. I rubbed my shoulder with a scowl. Had he been watching us? Did it matter? I reminded myself. Nothing really happened. Onyx eyes watched me for a moment and a small smile spread out across his face. It wasn't like the smirk from earlier or the haughty smiles I'd seen on his face all night. No. This one was gentle... like something had made him happy. I brushed it off. "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

He didn't answer. His thin fingers reached out, grabbed my wrist and proceeded to drag me back to the living room. I started to protest but as he dragged me past Kiba and Hinata he muttered, "Stall him," and continued to the other side of the room. He smirked and pushed me against the wall gently. "Stay still." The raven haired man leaned down towards me, his hair brushing my face. "Don't worry I'm not going to do anything." His onyx eyes rolled at my discomfort. "I just want to see what happens. Nod your head." I did, but only because I was too shocked to do much else. He chuckled lowly. "Now glance around the room uncomfortably."

I sighed and did as he asked. "Tell me why I'm doing this." I hissed out.

"Ah. The anger's good. Use it a bit more."

"That shouldn't be a problem." I snapped.

He placed his pale hand above my shoulder on the wall. "Don't get snippy. I want to see if what I've been hearing has some solid ground to build on. Now cross your arms over your chest and glare at me." I crossed my arms, but my glare was already there. He laughed again. "Kiba told me some things I didn't quite believe until tonight... I'm honestly trying to help." He smirked down at me, and I heard the blond man talking from somewhere behind the pale man's head. "How do you feel about Naruto? I'm talking about romantically of course."

I blushed. "Oh, I didn't tell you?"

An eyebrow raised and his smirk fell a bit. "No."

"Then it must be none of your god damn business."

He stared at me momentarily before his mouth fell open and he laughed. "Either you've been around Naruto too long or your personality is very similar to his." That felt like a compliment, and I fought off a smile. "Did you know Naruto and I dated for a few months back in collage?" I stared up at him, mouth falling open slightly. "Yes. For about six weeks. It didn't really work out obviously. I don't really know what happened, but we just weren't as compatible as we thought... though the sex was amazing." He grinned, and I felt my stomach clench in jealousy. "Okay, huff and look away for a few seconds. When he broke it off, I was kind of angry. I avoided him... didn't take his calls... Then they just stopped and I was even angrier. Kiba called me a month later and told me his parents had died." He frowned.

"My fury grew, but this time it was directed at myself." He shifted and asked me to look back at him, which, for some reason, I did. "I sat down and thought about it after I received the call. Apparently nobody had heard from him or seen him since the accident... but he had called me for three days after it happened... and I never picked up the phone." He bit his lip and stared me straight in the eye.

"We finally patched our friendship together a year ago, but I've always felt regret about what I had done... and I vowed to make it up to him in anyway I could." He reached up and touched my arm. "Don't be that way, kitten. I'd show you a good time," he said suddenly, voice losing it's misery in an instant, his lips rising in a smirk.

"Excuse me, _teme_. Gaara, can I talk to you for a moment?" I jumped when Naruto's voice sounded out from behind the onyx eyed man. Sasuke smiled and quirked an eyebrow, before turning to look at the blond. I was surprised by the look on his face... it was slightly angry.

"Of course you can borrow him for a second, _dobe_. Just make sure you return him to me when you're done." Fury coursed through me at his words. What a fucking bastard! The only thing that stopped me from reaching out and punching the prick was Naruto's hand on my arm as he began softly pulling me away from the smiling brunet.

My anger festered a bit as he led me to my room wordlessly, and I felt ready to burst, but all of my emotions died when the door closed and he turned to face me. His face burned with some emotion I couldn't quite place. It made the soft, sky blue of his eyes darken and seem to smolder as our eyes connected. My breath was sucked from me, and I actually heard myself gasp trying to take it back in. "Let me guess. That bastard was hitting on you, right?" He growled out, his voice so low it forced a shiver down my spine. I quirked an eyebrow and shook my head. He frowned and bit the tip of his thumb, giving a soft 'Hm'.

-_Naruto_-

I frowned. It had certainly looked and sounded like Sasuke was hitting on the redhead... and that Gaara didn't appreciate it at all. But I had been trapped by Kiba and Hinata before I could get to them and had to talk with them for a few minutes before rushing to help him out. I tried, and failed, to keep my anger out of my voice. It really pissed me off to see the suave Uchiha trying to pick up the young man. I had wanted him away... I wanted him very far away from Gaara.

I gazed into teal eyes that screamed confusion and felt lust rise in my body. What was it about him? What was it that made me want him so much? I rolled my eyes internally. It was everything about him. His voice, his face, his hair, his body, his shy looks, his personality. All of it called to me, called to my body. And I knew fully well my body responded... but now it was calling to my heart. It was no longer lust... it was something deeper. "Naruto?" His voice reached my ears but didn't really connect.

I had been jealous... Jealous that Sasuke could easily admit he wanted the boy when I could barely think it without feeling slightly guilty, without my brain coming up with a million reasons why I shouldn't want the redhead in front of me. I was jealous that Sasuke could reach out and touch the young man without hesitation. I felt heat rise to my face. Why couldn't I do that? Why?

His hands burned on my forearms, and his slim waist fit perfectly in my hands, warming them as well. When had my hands moved? I knew I should let him go. I had to get my hands off of him. I couldn't do it, of course. Of all the times my body could've chosen to disregard my brain, it had to have been then. Of course, when we were alone, when my thoughts were getting away from me... when he just looked so fucking... He bit that perfect curve of his bottom lip and goosebumps appeared over my body, my breathing almost stopped.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to so badly. I swallowed nervously, inching closer slowly. His teeth released his lip and his tongue swiped across them. My heart kicked into over drive at the sight. This was fine. This was okay. It wasn't wrong to want him, and I did want him... I wanted him. Teal eyes locked onto mine and the pale body in my hands began to shake. I froze. Was I scaring him? 'Oh god, what am I doing?' I screamed at myself internally. 'Let him go!' The hands on my arms squeezed slightly.

"Naruto, Kakashi wan-" My head snapped to the door as Ino came to a complete stop, mouth falling open. My hands dropped hastily, and I jumped away from the redhead.

"Uh, Ino... What'd you want?" I walked over to her quickly, putting distance between me and Gaara as quickly as I could.

"Oh, god. I so suck. Worst timing ever. Just go about your business, and I'll tell him you're busy." The blonde woman blushed and ran from the room. I watched her go and tried to gather the courage to turn around, and nearly jumped out of my skin when Gaara cleared his throat behind me.

"They're probably ready to go out now." I nodded and left the room, still unable to look at him. Ino looked guilty as I joined the group in the living room, most slipping on their coats and looking excited. Sasuke looked a little miffed but didn't say anything. I felt Gaara walk up behind me, stopping a few feet away, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I'd just done something so incredibly stupid and insensitive... God. He was sure to hate me forever... or at least be uncomfortable around me for a while. All right after I just got over my guilt of whacking off to thoughts of him, too. Someone up above absolutely loathed me...

"Okay, so who's all going to the bar?" Several people whooped loudly as the words left my lips and in the end only Hinata, Kakashi and Iruka were staying behind. I smiled at them and turned to look at the teal eyed teen, but he was busy picking up empty cups and putting food away. My shoulders drooped a bit, and I turned back to my friends. Shikamaru looked back and forth, eyes darting from Gaara to me in seconds, a small grin tilting the corners of his lips. I raised an eyebrow and looked back at the redhead again. This time the beautiful eyes were on me. I smiled as my heart raced. "I'll be back in thirty minutes, an hour at the most."

He waved as hands began pulling me towards the door. "Have fun." I smiled again, playing dead weight in the hands dragging me away and getting several groans and protests as a result. But the reaction that stuck out the most was Gaara's laugh. My heart was still fluttering nervously against my ribcage as we walked out into the chilly November air. Had anyone else noticed how beautiful Gaara's face was when he laughed? Or how breathtaking that laugh was? Did they like him? It wasn't until we were halfway to the bar did Tenten finally bring the teen up.

"Gaara seems like a doll."

"Oh, he is." Kiba agreed, throwing an arm across my shoulders. "It's pretty hilarious to watch him and Naruto together."

"Little one just adores him!" Ino shouted from behind me. "They get along so well, and it's so cute!"

"He's not that bad to look at either." I glared as Sasuke smirked. I tried to push it away. It wasn't my place to get jealous... Gaara wasn't mine... I couldn't claim him...

"What did you call him? A painted kitty?"

"No, domesticated kitten." My glare intensified. I really wanted to punch my raven haired friend right then and there, but I held it in... We ended up having somewhat of a shouting match in the stairwell. Somewhat because I was the one shouting and he was the one just smirking at me. It wasn't until I saw him flirting with the teen in the living room did I remember that fucking smirk. Even walking into the bar with my friends, I had no idea what it could've been about.

As soon as I walked through the door, I knew I'd have to use all my willpower to shut it off after one drink. The corny music, the overactive friends, the bad beer... it all just reminded me of the older days, the younger days. Someone pushed a bottle into my hand as soon as I found a stool at the bar. I felt several pairs of eyes on me as I raised the bottle to my lips. I grinned and paused before tipping it. Kiba punched me in the arm, and I laughed before taking a swig of the foul tasting liquid. A big cheer went through the crowd around me, and I laughed, making a face. "I used to like this shit?"

"And a curse! Fuck yeah!" Kiba shouted, hopping up and down like a toddler on a sugar high. Toddler... What was I doing? I needed to get back home. This is what the old me liked... the new me didn't like it at all. I wanted to get back to my boys. I stared at the bottle in my hands and felt guilt press down on me, but I smiled for the friends around me. They laughed and scattered about, still near me but no longer so close I couldn't breathe. I sighed and took another drink before wishing I hadn't.

I turned when Sasuke snorted in amusement beside me. "You do remember you're only obligated to stay for one beer, right?" I smiled at him.

"Don't worry about it."

"Can't help it. You look like a lost puppy."

I scrunched my nose and glared at him. "I do not..."

"I have a question."

"As long as you aren't asking me permission to date Gaara, ask away."

He laughed. "Mighty protective of him, aren't we?"

I glared at him and felt my face heat up with a blush which I tried to hide by swallowing another large mouthful of beer. "Shut up. He's like another brother to me."

He returned my glare. "Were you seriously this dense when we dated?" My eyebrows raised in surprise. He sounded genuinely pissed at me. "Seriously? You know, it was a good thing I thought you were hot back then, otherwise I would've killed you long ago." I took another large drink, cheering internally when I noticed it was nearly gone. "Why do you bother trying to delude yourself? It's so obvious you like him."

The beer in my mouth was sprayed in a fine mist over everything in front of me. I wiped my mouth and smiled at the annoyed looking bartender apologetically before turning to face my friend. "What did... I do... It's not... What?"

He rolled his eyes in a very bored fashion. "Fess up. You like him. I know you know you like him. Just quit being a stubborn jackass and tell him." My face felt like it would melt from the heat rolling off it. "See. That face right there. I'm right."

"Shut up, bastard..." I growled, twisting the bottle around in my hands and watching the last bit of the alcohol swish around. "You make everything sound so black and white. Say something to him and blah blah blah, love love, smooch, happy fucking ending. Like it really works that way. Your forgetting one important thing, the other party has to be legal and willing. Gaara happens to be neither. We're good as we are... even if it's freaking hard to watch other men hit on him or stare at him when we're out and about. I mean, it's not like I'm super possessive or anything, you know that... it's just... knowing he's free to date whoever he wants and it could be anyone of those people who give him the eye, but not me. And then Konohamaru calls him mama and has these amazing moments with him. It just blows my mind and I want him to be mine even more, but then I go and do something stupid and he puts me at arms length. It's like drowning with no one to help me out, y'know?" I looked over to see the Uchiha smirking. "What?"

"It was my goal to just get you to admit you like him." He shook his head, his smile never leaving. "Damn, dobe, you're getting it."

My eyebrows came together in confusion. "Getting what?"

He heaved a sigh and flicked me a cigarette. I picked it up and lit it with the matches lying on the counter in front of me. "If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you." I inhaled the smoke and glared over at him.

"Why is it I'm beginning to hate that phrase?" He laughed loudly and lit his own cigarette.

-_Gaara_-

I stretched and yawned before curling up on the couch. Cleaning up took barely ten minutes since Iruka, Kakashi and Hinata decided to stay behind and help. Though, Kakashi mostly just got in the way and asked random questions that I didn't really get. The three left fifteen minutes ago, Naruto and his friends almost forty. It didn't matter to me if he stayed out later. It was his birthday. If he deserved any day off, his birthday was certainly one. I stared at the cushion in front of my face and thought back to those ten minutes we'd been alone in my room.

A blush stained my face. For a moment it had seemed like he was going to kiss me. It was like he'd been jealous of what he thought he heard going on between Sasuke and I. I would have to tell him he got it all wrong when he got back, but just the thought that he might have been jealous made me want to sing. I figured it probably wasn't something like that, he probably thought I was putting the moves on his friend... I frowned as that thought passed through my mind, but his words came back and I smiled. No. I don't know what it had been, but that wasn't it.

I smiled like an idiot. So had he been about to kiss me? If so I was going to have to permanently damage Ino... if not... I owed the blonde woman my eternal gratitude.

I thought back on the second time Konohamaru called me mama. It was true what I'd thought at that time. If I could, I would be his mama. If Naruto said the word, I would give not second thoughts about loving the tiny brunet as my own... I already did, but then I could admit it. I wouldn't care if he called me mama. I wouldn't care if that made Kiba laugh. I wasn't sure how Naruto would react to it, but I imagine it wouldn't be negative. In fact, it'd probably be...

And with that my mind kind of wandered off into fantasy land for a few minutes.

The only thing that pulled me back was the front door opening and closing quietly. I wiped the 'adolescent girl' off my face and stood. Naruto walked into the living room a few minutes later, smelling faintly of alcohol and cigarettes. I smiled at him and moved to walk to my bedroom when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. It was a soft touch that made my heart pound, my legs to stop, and my head turned to him automatically. His eyes had darkened again, locking onto mine and forcing my lungs to quit working. "H-happy birthday, Naruto." I groaned internally as I stuttered _and_ sounded like an idiot.

His smile grew. "Thanks, kid."

You know that one word that can make you feel insignificant? The one that makes you deflate automatically? You know, that one that can actually make you sorta pissed someone would say it to you? Well I'd have to say for me, coming from Naruto, 'kid' was that one word. It was like he was saying 'Hey there, squirt. You're too young slash immature for me.' I heaved a heavy sigh in my head, but gave him a smile and turned to go again. His hand gently held me where I was. I turned a questioning gaze up to him and was nearly swept off my feet by the look he gave me. Butterflies sprang to life in my stomach, and my heart felt like it was going to explode if it beat any faster.

"Naruto?"

It's amazing what one word can do, isn't it? The wrong word can destroy a moment before it even starts, but the right one... said in the right tone of voice, with the right amount of emotion, the right word could start something amazing...

His hand was on my cheek suddenly, and by the time I got that fact registered in my brain, his lips were on mine.

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8D Don't get used to it. -Ooo! Ominous, right? Not really. Fail- Ha ha ha!! I can't believe I wrote 'happy parts'... What is wrong with me? I laughed like a moron when I wrote it and when I re-read it. Pfft. -is not a growned up lady- I'm not gonna change it though. No one remind me and we can put it all behind us. -snort-  
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**Reviews tell me what you like... and make me happy... so review please!  
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	9. Chapter Nine

**I spectacularly ignored my tests... somehow I passed with good scores. Ha ha. I had a nightmare about the spork of doom. You reviewers so rock.**

**Beta: Ugawa  
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**Note: Not my characters, NaruGaa, AU, yaoi, lemons, I fucked with the ages big time, prostitution, A grown up Naruto who is kinda cool (which I love more than anything), and a tiny bit of a love triangle.

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**Chapter Nine**

-_Naruto_-

It was amazing. The feel of his soft lips against mine... My hands wove themselves into his hair, pulling him even closer, my tongue parting his lips and dipping inside when they opened for me. The smooth muscle reacted only after several seconds of stroking from mine, but quickly found its rhythm, submissive to my natural domination. I lost myself in sensation, turning off my thoughts and focusing on just feeling him, tasting him. His hands were on my back, warm palms sending pulsating heat through me from where they lay. His body felt so small against mine, fragile even, as one of my hands dropped and wrapped around his waist, forcing him closer, while the other stayed buried in his hair, pulling his mouth as close to mine as I could manage.

He moaned softly into my mouth and a snap of electricity coursed down my back, my body reacting without hesitation. I lifted him easily, groaning out loud when his long legs wrapped around my waist. I wasn't even sure where I was taking him until I laid him on the couch, straddling his thin waist, my hands sliding down his body to the hem of his shirt and pushing the thin fabric up. My fingers caressed the silky skin while my mouth never left his. His small hands pushed against my chest gently. I lifted my body slightly, arching so my lips and tongue could continue to explore. The pushing increased, but I didn't give. I didn't want to.

Then he really shoved and my upper body was tossed up. I stared down at him, his cheeks flushed, his frail hands landed by his face, the exposed chest heaved as he panted. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He was just so beautiful... Confusion flooded my mind. Why had he pushed me away? He responded... hadn't he? "Are you sure?" His voice came out as a whisper as he stared up at me with wide eyes, a doubtful expression gracing the beautiful, porcelain face I'd come to adore.

I felt guilt weigh down on my chest. 'Don't do this... Don't do this...' a little voice in the back of my mind chanted mournfully. I wanted this so badly. I wanted him like I'd never wanted any other human on this earth. Please don't look at me like that. I begged mentally. Don't look at me like you hate me... Don't do this to me... A fear appeared in those angelic eyes and my heart throbbed painfully.

I couldn't do this... I couldn't do this to him. Not while he looked so... afraid of me.

I threw my head back and laughed like an idiot, standing and helping him to his feet, hands dropping from his body like they were filled with lead after fixing his shirt. "Whoops! Guess I had a bit more than I thought." I giggled, keeping my voice light, patting his head a bit roughly. "Sorry about that!" And despite how forcefully I told myself not to look at him, my eyes met his. Regret flooded me at the broken look on his face and it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.

His eyes screamed anger, betrayal, hurt and disgust. His face had fallen into an emotionless state seconds after my eyes locked onto his, but he couldn't hide the feelings rolling through his eyes no matter how hard he tried. His shoulders went rigid while managing to reclaim the self-conscious slouch I hadn't seen for weeks, and I suddenly wanted to beat the shit out of myself. It took all my willpower to keep my hands to myself, to keep my arms from wrapping around that small body, to keep my mouth from trying to deny my earlier words. The little voice of my conscious was assuring me this was the right thing to do while the rest of me screamed I was in the wrong.

I was prepared for him to scream at me, to run away from me, or to even laugh it off. He didn't do any of these. Instead his hand pulled back and swung at my face. I tensed and waited, but the slap never came. His hand hovered beside my face as he glared up at me, eyes burning with a rage that made me shrink inside. I had never seen that look of fury on his face before, and I was caught between being scared and enamored with it. When he spoke, his voice came out in a growl. "Don't. You aren't drunk. I can tell by the way you're walking, talking and by the look in your eyes. You don't even look buzzed." His hand dropped to his side and clenched into a fist. "If you want to kiss me, kiss me. Don't give me stupid excuses, you... you... Fuck!" He let out an angry breath, eyes glistening with what I knew to be unshed tears, before he turned and stormed away from me.

I watched him go, a sick feeling flooding my body. I was rooted to the spot by my own stupidity and his anger until I realized he wasn't heading for his room. Confusion flashed through my mind until the front door slammed loudly and pulled me from my stupor. I ran to the door, throwing it open and running into the hallway. Dashing to the stairwell door, I caught it just as it started to close and launched myself down the stairs, listening to his hurried footsteps as he ran to the street below. I jumped over steps, railings and anything else that got in my way until I could see crimson hair only a few feet away.

He hurled himself out the door as I made a grab for his arm, letting the biting wind snap angrily at my face. I stumbled through the door and chased after him. The streets were nearly deserted, and my legs were much longer than his making it easy to close the distance between us. Grabbing him by the elbow, I whirled him around to face me, forcing frigid air to be sucked into my lungs in a gasp when I saw his face. His tears had finally escaped, forcing the thick rims of eyeliner to run slightly and that broken look found its way back to his face, making something crush in my chest.

I lifted him in my arms easily and carried him back to the apartment at a quick pace, wanting to get him back home as soon as I was physically able. I expected him to protest, hit me, scratch me, bite me, scream at me to put him down and let him go, but he laid limp in my arms. I didn't look at him. I couldn't. He was hurting... and it was all my fault. I cursed myself out the entire way home, slipping up the stairs like they were nothing and back into the apartment. I glanced at the clock. The entire chase and retrieval had lasted less than three minutes.

I stood there between the kitchen and the living room, holding him for several minutes. I tightened my grip when he shivered but kept my nose from burying itself in the silky, red hair. "Put me down." His soft whisper barely made its way to my ears, but I complied immediately, setting him on his feet and gazing down at him. He didn't look up at me, and I knew he wouldn't. My hand moved towards him but he backed away, turning around when there was enough distance that I couldn't touch him without taking a step forward.

"Gaara, I--"

"Don't." The word tore into me, but it was nothing compared to what his next words did to my heart. "You already made an excuse... don't make it hurt even more by apologizing again." His words hung in the air and resounded through my mind as he disappeared into his room, never once looking at me.

I stumbled to my room after I was sure he wasn't going to leave and laid down beside my baby brother, not even bothering to undress. I pulled the three-year-old into my arms and let everything flood me. I'd hurt him. I had hurt him... all because I was more worried about being pushed away. I wouldn't even try to delude myself into believing I had pulled away to spare him from whatever damage I thought I would do to him. It was all me on that one.

I had always been a selfish person. Always. Everything I had ever done was for my own personal gain. Not material things, never for things I could easily lose, no... I made people love me, want me, almost need me. The only thing I had done for someone else was give up whatever future I might have had to raise the child in my arms... but even then I did it to ease my own guilt... to ease my own sorrow. Tears fell from my eyes and I kissed Konohamaru's forehead gently. His tiny hands gripped at my shirt, calling me 'papa' even in his sleep. I gave a watery smile and moved to give him another kiss, but then he asked for his 'mama' and all the movement left my body. There really was no way I could fix this... Not even if I tried.

"What have I done?" I whispered into his soft, brown hair. "Why couldn't I just say 'I'm not drunk. I want you. I want you to be happy because of me and smile because of me and stay here with me and... be mine. Be mine alone'." My heart gave a painful throb. Why couldn't I just say that? Instead, I tried to find a way out without putting myself out there. Instead, I threw my chance away. I gave a soft shuddering sigh before my eyes shut, and I dropped into a dreamless sleep.

-

"Get up." The sound of Gaara's voice the next morning already had me pulling myself from sleep, but before I could open my eyes, I was shoved to the floor roughly, landing with a nice 'thump' beside the bed. My eyes snapped open instantly, and I sat straight up. Teal eyes were on me, void of any emotion. I cringed but knew I deserved it. Hell, I half expected him to sneak out sometime during the night and we'd never see him again. I stood and gave him a tentative smile but he just turned away from me, walking out of the room quickly.

"Fuck." I muttered quietly, deflating even more as I followed him. We walked to the kitchen, a mug of coffee sitting on the table for me already. I walked over to the table instantly, expecting him to sit across from me like every other morning, but he kept walking. My shoulders fell when his bedroom door closed, and I cursed again. I royally fucked up this time. He would probably never look at me if he could help it. I'd probably never get to see his soft, shy smiles or his eyes when they glowed with anything other than anger, hurt, or disappointment. The Gaara I'd come to desire would be gone to me forever and the Gaara I myself had replaced him with would greet/avoid me every day until he decided to leave. I was really beginning to hate myself. So, I guess I don't need to say I was surprised when he emerged from his room minutes later and slid into the seat across from me.

I gave him a smile but he didn't respond and the smile on my face died quickly. The minutes ticked by awkwardly, and I felt like cowering under his gaze. The teal eyes didn't leave mine as we sat there, the coffee in my hand quickly became cold. As time went by, I began to want the look in those beautiful orbs to be anger, I wanted them to scream rage and hatred, cursing my very existence, but all that they gave me was hurt, disappointment... defeat. "About last night--"

"It never happened." His soft voice cut me off, sending pain rolling through me. "We won't talk about it. It won't happen again, so there's no point getting worked up over nothing." Ouch. Ouch... My eyes dropped to the dark liquid in my cup. I deserved it, though. The silence I'd always hated stretched on. I wanted to fix this, but I didn't know how. Explain I didn't want to put myself out there to be hurt? Explain that this probably couldn't work between us so there was no point in pretending it could? I'd sound like a jackass either way, and I knew he wouldn't care to hear it. "You'd better get ready for work." He stood and walked to the room as Konohamaru's sleepy voice called for him, announcing he was awake.

-_Gaara_-

For one moment I thought he would tell me he liked me, that he wanted me. Instead I got a painful slap in the face. I hated myself for even thinking anything could happen between us. Naruto was a normal single father, and I was just a whore he'd brought in off the street. I lay in bed after he'd brought me back, no longer holding back the tears that wanted to escape, and as they slid down my face silently, I thought about all the different reasons that could explain what he had done.

I didn't come up with much. I'd always been told I was subconsciously seductive. My movement adapted to call out to men after years of selling myself to survive. Maybe he just wanted a little fun and my action had stopped him from going through with it. The next reason I came up with was the one I was clinging to with every fiber of my being. Maybe he wanted me... wanted me like I wanted him, but he was wary because of my past. I held onto that thought, but told myself that was probably the farthest from the truth.

Konohamaru seemed to know something was wrong with me. He didn't want to jump around or play blocks or even paint. He just wanted to sit in my lap and listen to me read or watch movies. I was fine with complying with his wishes, and when he fell asleep in my arms I couldn't bring myself to move him. I held onto his tiny form and let my mind go blank, wishing last night hadn't happened at all.

I'd stopped him because I had wanted to hear that it wouldn't be a mistake. I wanted to hear him say he liked and wanted me. My eyes slid shut and, though I told myself not to, I remembered his kiss, his gentle touches, his demanding hands, the way his eyes burned as he looked at me, making my heart feel like it would give out. I remembered his tongue persuading mine to play and the dream I had about that tongue. I shut my brain off at that point and focused on holding the little body in my arms, wondering just how bad I had gotten at hiding my emotions. Konohamaru always seemed to know what was going on with me, when was good to play and when it was best to be calm. I was going to have to work on keeping my hectic feelings to myself. Baby shouldn't have to hold himself back because I was losing it.

The three-year-old didn't even wake up when it came time for Hinata and Ino to arrive. When the knock on the door came at one, I carried him with me to answer it. Only the lilac eyed female stood there with a gentle smile, little Udon nestled in her arms and staring at me sleepily. Hinata's smile seemed to fall a bit when I couldn't bring myself to return it. The incident from the night before weighed down on me and effected everything I did. Udon poked Konohamaru from sleep and the two greeted each other happily. The dark haired woman quickly explained Moegi had a doctors appointment so Ino would be up a little later. I just nodded and led the way to the living room.

We both sat in silence, watching the children play for almost an hour before Hinata turned to me with an expression I couldn't really place. "Why don't we have some tea?" My eyes met hers, that look of caring and wanting to help swallowing me whole, and I nodded. She stood wordlessly, putting in a movie that had the children settling instantly to watch, and walked to the kitchen. I followed moments later and put some water on the stove. It was quiet between us as we waited for the water to heat, poured peppermint tea into mugs and waited for it to cool enough to drink. She didn't push anything, didn't say anything, but I knew she was worried about my silence.

I don't know what possessed me to speak. I didn't make any conscious decision to talk. My fingers just reached up, brushed against the crimson tattoo on my forehead, and I opened my mouth. "He used to come by almost every night, never on Sundays, but every other night he'd pull up in his silver Chevy and call out to me. He was the most gentle customer I'd ever had, always touching me lightly, asking me if it hurt too much and when it was over he'd hold me. It wasn't just a light arm across my waist either... He would gather me to his chest and cling to me. It was always just for a minute, but still it made my heart want to jump out of my chest.

"He became the highlight of my nights. Whenever I climbed into that car, he'd ask me how my day had been, if I was keeping out of trouble. I found it easy to talk to him... He just broke through every defense I had put up. He made me want to be so much more than I was... On my sixteenth birthday he surprised me by showing up earlier than usual and taking me out to his friend's tattoo parlor. I picked this." I tapped the ai on my forehead. "Out and he picked the color. He said it would match my hair beautifully and that love should always be written in red. He stood there and watched me get it, smiling the whole time. As I sat there in that chair I realized I was in love with him. They thought I started crying because of the pain...

"It was two weeks later when he showed up troubled. He said his wife was pregnant. The word wife stopped my heart painfully, like he'd stabbed it with a giant, rusty knife. I loved him with all of my heart. A first love will do that, I guess. He was like the world to me and that one word forced my heart to shatter. I wanted him. I wanted him all to myself. I wanted him to belong to me, to love me and me alone.

"That same week I made the biggest mistake I could have. I slept with him but didn't accept his money. I remember the look in his eyes perfectly... It was frightened, horrified even. He didn't smile at me like he usually did when he left. He didn't say goodbye. He didn't even give me a wink like usual. He just got dressed as quickly as he could, made some excuse about leaving so early, apologized and left me there in the bed. That was the last time I saw him. He never came back to see or use me ever again." I stared into the icy liquid in my cup, watching my reflection carefully. I pushed it away quickly, hating the person I saw gazing back at me. "When he walked out that night I realized I didn't even know his name. He'd never told me his name." My elbows rested on the table, and my hand held my face, but my eyes stayed glued to the dark wood. "I decided I would never fall for a man I couldn't have ever again."

A pale hand reached out and covered mine that lay on the table in front of me. I couldn't even feel it. Fighting off tears, I let my eyes meet hers. The pale, lilac eyes seemed to want to cry for me while asking what this had to do with my mood. Again I felt the need to share. I'd always kept everything inside of me. I never shared with anyone other than my mother and the men, and it had been so long since I felt comfortable enough with someone to let them in. Naruto had somehow done it... and Hinata had found her way in, too. "Naruto kissed me last night." A smile lit up her face but her eyes were still confused. "Then he said he was drunk... and he apologized."

I had to close my eyes to keep the tears from escaping and took a deep breath. "I don't understand," she whispered softly. I shrugged my shoulders, trying to make it seem lighter than it really was. Like it hurt less than it really did. Like it didn't matter to me when it really, truly did. Her hand tightened on mine, and I opened my eyes, taken aback at the fury in the pools of light purple. "He's an idiot, Gaara. He always has been and, unfortunately, he always will be. I say that with love." She gave me a weak smile, and I returned it. "Just don't give up on him, okay?"

"Give up on him?"

"You like him don't you, sweetie?" Her voice was gentle, her head bent towards mine. "It's amazing really, the way your eyes light up when he's around. You always have this little smile on your face when he looks at you. And when he says your name it looks like you become breathless." My heart ached. I hadn't known others could tell. "Sweetie, don't let one little screw up on his part get you so down. I can tell he likes you. I'll admit I don't really know how he likes you, but don't move away before you find out. Naruto's just the kind of person--"

"You will not believe what a pain that doctor was!" Ino shouted from the hallway as the door swung open. Hinata sighed and shook her head, rising to her feet. I followed and met the loud blonde in the hallway. The little talk made me feel lighter, less out of it, and it seemed, once again, Konohamaru knew it. After the movie ended he was everywhere, dragging out toys and paints with so much enthusiasm I thought he'd hurt himself. I smiled. I laughed. It was like nothing had happened last night. Hinata seemed happier and Ino was just as bright and bubbly as ever.

They left later than usual, passing Naruto as he walked through the door. He smiled as Ino greeted him brightly but seemed puzzled when the brunette woman gave him a stiff greeting and walked right passed him with a drooling Udon in her arms. I laughed at the fact she could look dignified even then. She gave me a smile and closed the door behind her. I turned back to the blond man with a sigh, determined to follow my own words and pretend nothing had happened. "I'm going to do the laundry. Do you want me to grab anything while I'm out?"

Again he looked extremely confused and shook his head. I nodded and grabbed the laundry basket and detergent, lifting them easily and walked out the door. A sigh of relief slipped out of me at the fact I had been 'normal' around him, and I started for the basement.

-_Naruto_-

If Hinata's look of annoyance didn't throw me off, then the beautiful laugh that followed did. I stared at the pale beauty dumbly, trying to wrap my brain around the fact he seemed completely fine. I cursed at myself. Of course he was going to be fine. He himself had said the kiss didn't matter, so why would he be upset over it? That thought stomped me down a bit, and I turned to the excited three-year-old jabbering away at my feet with a smile.

He was laying on his back, a fish made of folded paper battling it out with a paper airplane above him. "Ah! Nooo! Fly fish! Blub blub." I laughed and lay on the floor beside him. "Hello, papa."

I turned my head and kissed his cheek. He giggled and went back to his fish and airplane. "Hello, baby." Since when did he say hello? He turned his face to me and frowned. I raised an eyebrow. Apparently I missed something important. Hinata seemed a bit disappointed in me, Gaara was smiling like nothing was wrong and now Konohamaru looked slightly mad at me.

"M- Gaawa sad in mo'ning. Papa, you be nice Gaawa. I love him." His brown eyes didn't leave my widened ones. He met my gaze evenly and held them. I wasn't even sure how to react. What the hell? What the hell? I don't know how long we lay there on the hardwood floor staring at each other, eyes never moving from the others, but Gaara was back before I knew it, a bottle of Tide in hand. I saw him stop from the corner of my eye, but I couldn't move my eyes from Konohamaru's. It was like he was... challenging me or something.

It only took seconds for the toddler to notice the redhead had entered the room and he bounced to his feet. Gaara gave me a questioning look but I could only shrug. I honestly had no idea what the hell was going on anymore. The teen lifted Konohamaru in his arms and received a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. The redhead nuzzled his nose against my child's, a smile on his face. "I'm going to take a shower." They both waved as I turned to walk down the hallway. Okay... so I had gone crazy. Stress could do that to a person. Right?

-

"So... You realize everyone pretty much wants to kill you, right?" I raised an eyebrow at my shaggy friend as he walked into the room. I shut the door and walked to the living room, Kiba right on my heels. I stared at him as we sat down on opposite ends of the couch. "Is Gaara around?" I shook my head, and he sighed. "Good. You've done something I thought pretty much impossible." He grumbled, glaring at me.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Hinata's mad. You made her mad. Oh, man, Sasuke's kinda pissed too." His head fell into his hands.

"You're going to have to give me a bit more than that. You've lost me completely." I smiled, leaning back and propping my feet up on the coffee table.

He looked at me, disbelief clear on his face. "I don't know what happened, I don't really care to know what happened, but I got two phone calls last night, one from Hinata and one from the Uchiha, saying you fucked up and I had to come set you straight or they would. So why don't you tell me what happened and I'll knock your ass back on the right track before you have to face the wrath of Hinata and Sasuke. Honestly, I don't think even you could survive both." I raised my eyebrow again, and he let out another huge sigh. "With Gaara. After you left the bar, what did you do to Gaara?" I felt myself pale and asked myself a recently frequent question once more. What the hell was going on? "Fine. Don't tell me. Just fix it."

"Fix what? There's nothing to fix. I kissed him, freaked out a bit, he told me to forget it, and he seems to have gotten over it."

"Oh. My. God." Kiba moaned dramatically. "You are an idiot."

"Like I want to hear that from you."

"Shut up, and let me think for a minute."

"I don't have all year." I smirked.

He glared up at me. "You know, I woulda killed you a long time ago if I wasn't so attached to you."

"I'm touched." We laughed lightly. "But seriously, the kid seems to have gotten over the whole incident." I didn't add that it pretty much stung that he had. "So tell the bastard to mind his own and Hinata to relax. Everything's good here... Everything's fine." I stared at the ceiling, trying to keep my mind on task and failing. How could he just put it behind him? Just walk away from what I'd done to him while I couldn't get it off my mind. Not only had I crossed the line and hurt him, but I couldn't forget the feel of his lips against mine, that soft moan that made my toes curl in delight and his skin, god, his soft, pale skin beneath my fingers. I thought about those few minutes constantly... mostly in the shower. "Everything's fine." I mumbled.

Kiba shifted and muttered something I couldn't quite catch. "Well... uh, that's good. I'll pass it on. Anyway, I came over for another reason." I looked over at him with a smile. "Mom wanted to make sure you're still coming over for Thanksgiving. Jiraiya and Tsunade will be there as well."

I raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Why would we miss it? Of course we'll be there. You know that... Unless..."

"She wanted me to make sure you've invited Gaara." I froze. I had thought about it, but after my spectacular blunder I wasn't sure how to approach the subject. "You're supposed to convince him, she's kinda worried what he would do since he doesn't have a... well, a family. I mean, other than you guys, and she wants to make sure he's got somewhere to go. Nobody should be alone on a holiday, y'know?" I bit my bottom lip. "You're supposed to beg like you've never begged before. Pull out that old 'please do what I want' look and it should be all good." We both laughed.

"I guess I could try."

"Try? Dude, please. You don't have to try."

"Whatever."

"Ooh! I'm an Uzumaki, and I've got a puppy dog look!"

"Knock it off."

"It's fiercesome and lovable all at once!"

"Seriously."

"Do what I want! I'll- OUCH!! What the fuck?!"

"I told you to stop." I grinned over at him. His eyes narrowed in a glare before he launched himself at me. I yelped as I was knocked to the floor, and he landed roughly on top of me. He grinned in triumph before I flipped him over me roughly onto his back, climbing over him. That just started an all out war. We rolled over the floor, pushing and pulling, trying to make the other give and keep the upper hand all at once. I laughed as I grabbed him by the left leg and right arm, sitting on the small of his back. "Give?"

"Never!" He grunted, struggling against my hold.

"Is this all you two ever do?" My head snapped up, and I grinned as my eyes met with glowing teal. The redhead looked amused, holding a bag of groceries and my son, forcing my heart to skip a beat. Did he always have to look so fucking perfect? The cream colored scarf around his neck made his skin seem to glow even whiter than usual, giving the dark rings around his eyes a dramatic look and the blue-green of his eyes pop out beautifully. Konohamaru had a hold of the black jacket, head lying against the teens chest. The dark, brown eyes screamed contentment and love, the red highlights in his hair somehow standing out, giving the look that the two belonged together. I was stunned into immobility at that thought. Kiba took advantage of that and I gave a startled shout as I was thrown to the side.

"Yup." The brunet smiled, rising to his feet and helping me up.

I laughed when Gaara rolled his eyes and turned for the kitchen. We followed him naturally, watching as he set the toddler down and began to put the groceries away. "So, how was the shopping?" I asked like an idiot. I heard Kiba snort at the lame question and kicked him discreetly. The redhead's shoulders tensed immediately and he threw a bundle of celery onto the counter with a bit more force than necessary. I raised an eyebrow and Konohamaru giggled. "What?"

"Lady call Gaawa 'mama'." He answered, a little hand trying to hid the smile on his face. I felt my eyes go wide and tried to hold back laughter while Kiba tried to keep his silent. "She call Gaawa my mommy." That did it. Kiba's loud laughter filled the room, and I had to close my eyes to keep mine in. This was a bad thing. Gaara wasn't his mama. This wasn't funny. I tried to tell myself over and over again. It didn't work. I exploded as well, trying to muffle it behind my hand when the redhead whirled around.

"It's not funny!" He growled, throwing a bag of cilantro at my head. I couldn't even dodge it I was laughing so hard. It hit me right on the forehead, the water from the produce sprinklers giving it a smacking sound. That didn't help with the laughter at all. I had to lean against the wall to stay on my feet, trying not to die. The teen stalked over to me, face so adorable in anger I couldn't help myself. I was sure my face was pink from all the laughing, but I couldn't stop. "Stop!" He hissed.

"Your not **my** mommy." I managed to gasp out as I fell to the floor, clutching my sides. Kiba just got louder and Konohamaru's giggle grew as well. I don't know how long it lasted but Gaara stood above me the entire time, arms across his chest, glaring at me and fighting to keep a smile off his face. I smiled up at him after I calmed down, hands lying on my chest. He gave me a soft look then, forcing all the breath from my lungs. My smile grew and he returned it softly. "Admit it. It was a little funny." He gave me a soft kick in the shoulder and bent down to grab the herb he'd thrown at me by my shoulder. Our eyes connected momentarily and a light blush stained his cheeks.

When he straightened up and turned away, I felt my own face heat up. Kiba was watching me, a grin on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he snorted. "So... Thanksgiving's coming up," he announced loudly, and I shot him a glare.

"Yeah." I put in.

"What are you doing, red?" I heard the teen heave a sigh at the nickname.

He moved to put vegetables in the crisper, not looking at either of us. "Whatever."

"Whatever?"

"Yes. Whatever I feel like doing when it comes." Kiba rolled his eyes and waved his hand for Konohamaru to come closer, picking him up easily when he was close enough. The two brunets passed by me on their way to the living room, Kiba motioning for me to talk to him. I rolled my eyes as he disappeared through the doorway. I stood up and moved toward the teen quietly, trying to think of what to say.

I stood three feet behind him, contemplating what to say, when he turned around and took a step forward. He let out a small squeak of surprise and jumped back. My hands shot out and grabbed him by the shoulders when he tripped on his pant leg, gathering him to my chest automatically. He looked up at me with wide eyes, palms on my chest, their warmth making it through my shirt and to my skin. His thin fingers curled, and I had to stop my eyes from closing. "We were wondering... I was wondering, if you wanted to spend Thanksgiving with us out at Kiba's moms. I know Konohamaru would love for you to be there." His eyes lowered slightly and I took a deep breath. "I know I'd like it if you were there." Bright, teal eyes met mine again and my heart jumped. He was so close. It would take only a slight movement and I would be kissing him again.

His hands pushed me away again, but this time, I responded, stepping back slightly. His hands didn't leave my chest and his eyes didn't turn from mine. I swallowed nervously and opened my mouth to ask him again. "I'll... I'll go with you, to Tsume's, I mean." His voice was a whisper and his breath seemed to burn pleasantly against my skin. The conversation really was over, but I didn't want it to end. I didn't want him to step away from me.

"I'm glad." I whispered gently. He smiled and that faint blush was back, making my heart pound nervously. "Gaara, I... I wanted to-"

"Papa!" We both jumped at Konohamaru's yell and the little boy shoved his way between us, clinging to the redhead's legs, burying his face in the jeans.

The teen bent down and lifted the three-year-old easily, allowing little arms to wrap around his neck. "What's wrong, baby?" A shudder ran through me at the word. Since when did Gaara call Konohamaru 'baby'? It made me... happy. My child whispered something to his nanny, voice muffled by the shirt his face was pressed against. I moved closer to try and hear, but stopped when a smile broke out across the redhead's face. His eyes met mine again, humor lighting them up and making the color seem to shift more blue than green. He laughed lightly and patted the little brunet's back softly. "No. I almost fell. Papa caught me." Brown eyes turned and eyed me suspiciously before his little hand reached out for me.

I stepped forward and let his little hand grab my shirt. "Uh...?"

Gaara snorted and shook his head. "He thought you were making me sad." My eyebrows shot up and the redhead laughed quietly, face rising slightly to look up at me. "Your guess is as good as mine." My hand raised and landed on my child's back softly, my mind shooting back to the conversation we'd had yesterday. _'Papa, you be nice Gaawa.'_ I shivered and peered down at the pale teen before me. Konohamaru really did hate it when I made the teen sad that time, hadn't he? He took it personally... I'd wounded someone close to him and he had warned me. Some part of me was a little jealous, but I couldn't really get a grasp on it because the majority of my brain turned to mush at the thought. I shook that off hurriedly. Maybe this mama thing had finally gone above the point I should've been worried, maybe I had let it go on too far and now it was too late to do anything about it.

_'I love him'_

-_Gaara_-

And just like that, the awkward moments between me and Naruto were back. I was back to the exhausting dance of looking at him longingly and shoving my feelings away harshly. Konohamaru watched us together so attentively that I found myself wondering if he knew what was going on between me and his papa. If I looked uncomfortable when the blond got too close to me, he would wiggle in between us and turn the conversation away from whatever Naruto had said that made me silently freak out, like he was looking out for me.

As the holiday grew closer, I came to the realization Naruto did like me, want me as I wanted him. His glances, his smiles, his feather soft touches drove me to that conclusion, but I did nothing about it. I don't know what held me back, what kept me from closing that distance. It could've been the fact I didn't want to cross that line just yet or I wanted to keep myself outside of the little family, but I knew I was afraid. I was so deathly afraid of him walking away again. That night didn't drive the want from me, but it did make me fearful of putting myself out there for him. I kept thinking about the man I'd loved first and how my first step had forced him from me. If I hadn't made that bold move... I wouldn't have had my heart broken. I wouldn't have been thrown away.

I began losing sleep over it.

The dark rings around my eyes came back and I woke up many times crying. I couldn't remember my dreams when that happened, but it seemed like the dream had ended far too soon for me. As if my dream had been so wonderful that waking seemed like a curse. Because here in reality, everything just seemed so hopelessly fucked up. The tears would always stop seconds after they started but I could still feel the need to cry for hours afterward.

It was the morning of Thanksgiving before I realized it. I sat in the front seat of Naruto's old car, bundled up against the cold air that promised snow soon, wondering where the hell the month had gone. The sun still hadn't come up and Konohamaru was still cranky from being woke up so early to get dressed. I smiled back at the three-year-old but he just held his pout before he let out a big yawn and rubbed his eyes sleepily. The action forced me to yawn in return which led to the blond giving one of his own as well. He laughed and turned on the car, throwing on the heater. "I know. It's pretty early but the roads are kinda iffy, and I want to make sure we get there on time without having to rush."

I smiled and turned to look out the window. I watched as the tall, industrial looking buildings gave way to smaller brick offices and stores, fading to suburban homes and finally dying off to the looming dark, green trees of the countryside. The ancient looking trees broke sporadically to wide open fields of farms or a cluster of homes and a gas station, and I found myself thinking that the city we lived in was just a dream, a made up place that only held bad memories for all of us. Where everything seemed so isolated and unsullied by greedy hands, the harsh buildings seemed like a figment of my imagination.

The entire drive was spent without Naruto or I speaking, Konohamaru had fallen asleep almost the exact moment the heater kicked in, and the only sound in the car was the soft radio. I didn't really listen to the lyrics or the melody, it was just an ignored background noise that helped me think of things that kept my mind from where it wanted to be. Kept me from thinking about where exactly I stood with the blond man beside me, because, honestly, I was afraid of where that was.

We pulled into the long gravel driveway an hour and a half later, bumping over the irregularities in the surface gently. Naruto chuckled softly when the house came into view, and I felt him glance over at me. "Get ready to be introduced all over again, kid." I bit my lip at the last word and settled on giving him a small smile. He returned it generously and swung the car around, parking beside a very posh looking Impala. I got out and pulled Konohamaru from his car seat.

The little boy perked up immediately, rubbing his face in my scarf and knocking his hat to the ground. "Naruto, can you grab that?" Blue eyes shone in my direction and he grabbed the green, wool hat, leading the way up to the house. The dogs inside barked loudly when he knocked, forcing someone to yell at them to hush up. I heard myself laugh at that and the two Uzumaki's smiled.

The door swung open and a beaming Kiba greeted us, the dogs rushing forward to sniff the newcomers. I made my way around them carefully, holding onto the toddler in my arms even tighter, as Kiba led us into the house. The place smelled amazing and I found a grin on my face before I could help it. The last time I had been here I was surprised at the number of animals and the lack of animal smell. I really couldn't figure out how the two women did it.

Hana greeted me first, waving from the kitchen and I raised my hand to wave back, but a tall, intimidating man stepped in the way. "Rye-ah!" Konohamaru shouted at the white haired man, bouncing in my arms. The man gave a booming laugh and his hand reached out and messed the little boys hair. I, myself, was frozen.

"Hey there, little one." His eyes flashed to mine and he gave me a smile that reminded me of Naruto's, mischievous and impossibly bright. "And who's this pretty young woman?" I felt my face drop into a glare.

Naruto snorted behind me, his warm hand coming to rest on my shoulder. "You must be getting senile, Jiraiya."

"Eh?"

"Gaawa boy!" Konohamaru giggled. Two people in one month... Did I really look that feminine? The older male looked surprised for a second before he laughed as well.

"I fail to see the humor in this." I muttered and set the little boy down, pulling off his coat. Naruto took it from my hand when I offered it and I unwrapped my scarf and jacket, handing them over as well. The white haired male laughed again.

"Sorry, kid! That coat just screamed woman." His hand extended out to me. Note to self: Buy a new coat... something manly. "I'm Jiraiya, Naruto and Konohamaru's godfather."

I eyed the offered hand for a moment before taking it. "Gaara."

He smiled again and opened his mouth to say something when a woman's voice cut him off. "I've been telling the idiot to wear his glasses but he feels the need to ignore me." I turned my head as a blonde bombshell walked into the room, her eyes shining dangerously, a bottle of vodka in her hand. "Maybe seeing men as women will finally shock him into wearing them."

"What? And mess up these good looks?"

"You're in no danger of that." Naruto snorted. "Hey, old lady."

The woman's eyebrow popped in irritation. "What was that, you little snot?"

"Oh, you need me to speak up, grandma?"

"Die!" She shouted, pulling off her shoe and flinging it at him with surprisingly quick movements. The blond dodged it easily, a loud laugh lighting up his face. Konohamaru laughed as well, tiny hand reaching up and curling around my fingers. "Now you're teaching little one to be disrespectful." She glared at the blond beside me before turning to me with a smile. "I'm Tsunade, this idiot's wife." She threw a thumb in Jiraiya's direction.

"Nice to meet you." She gave me a soft smile, which only grew when she spotted Naruto's hand on my shoulder and Konohamaru's hold on my hand.

-

"Okay, Gaara, can you hand me that masher thingy?" Tsume asked, hands busy with a strainer and potatoes. I grabbed the black, plastic utensil and handed it over when she nodded. Hana pulled sweet potatoes from the oven and rotated the turkey. I watched them with interest and handed Konohamaru a carrot. He thanked me in a little voice before running off to find his papa. "So how are things?"

"They're okay, I guess." I answered, chopping up the celery quickly.

"Just okay?" Hana asked, her eyebrow raised. I nodded and held back a sigh. I was already in the kitchen helping with dinner, I didn't need to start acting like a woman. "Konohamaru seems to be attached to you." I smiled down at the vegetable in my hand and nodded. "How are things with Naruto?"

My rhythmical chopping faltered. "He's very nice to me," I whispered.

They glanced at each other and turned to me, leaning against the counter beside me and steered the conversation elsewhere. I gave a silent sigh of relief. Why did everyone always seem to zero in on what was happening between me and Naruto? Was it so obvious I liked him?

-_Naruto_-

"So what's going on with you and that redhead Gaara?" Jiraiya asked as we sat on the couch, a game of checkers on the table in front of us. I looked at him in surprise, my mouth open slightly. He smiled at me and moved a piece on the board before leaning back. I shook my head and went back to the game, pointedly ignoring the question. "Don't do that. I just want to know."

"Nothing." I muttered, taking out another of his pieces.

He sighed and shook his head. "Liar."

"What's that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"No, I don't."

"So you're ignoring it then?"

"Ignoring what?"

His eyes met mine and held them. The smile fell off his face as we stared at each other and a serious look replaced it. "If you push him away, you realize he'll get away from you, right?" I stared right back at him, a frown on my face.

"He should."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kiba asked from beside me, his voice lowered so it couldn't be heard by those in the kitchen. I glanced at the door, eyes falling on the smiling redhead. I watched him for a minute, his slender, pale hands occasionally reaching up and playing with a lock of hair by his ear, his eyes dancing as he smiled at whatever the women in the kitchen said, and listened to the laugh that made butterflies dance in my stomach. He was just so...

"He's still a kid, you know?" My eyes never left him. I'd thought about it all month. It wouldn't be right for me to ask him to give himself over, to tie him down, however fleeting, to an emotionally fucked up twenty-year-old and a three-year-old child. What would it do to him if we began to rely on him? Would I crush that light that seemed to drive away that hollow sadness that haunted his eyes? What if I disappointed him? Would he come to hate me for it? How could we make something like this work. I used to believe in that old saying 'love will find a way' but somewhere along the line I lost that. "At his age, it'd be like a death sentence to become involved with someone like me."

Jiraiya cleared his throat and my eyes wandered back to him. He was staring at the board when he spoke. "Isn't that his choice, though?" I stared at my godfather, trying to figure out what he was saying. He seemed to feel my confusion. "The kid likes you, Naruto. You're saying it doesn't matter if he likes you or not, it doesn't matter if you like him or not. It's like you've already got it in your mind that it won't work and you aren't willing to see if it will. You used to be the kid that threw himself into everything, believing anything would work if you gave it enough passion. When did you start doubting yourself?"

I stared at my hands. I used to be that person. I missed being that person. But I knew things didn't really work that way in real life. There was drive that could take you close to a goal, but it took luck to make that final leap to get everything to come together. "The day they died." My hand shot out and moved a piece randomly, my eyes going back to watching the redhead.

"So you'll die alone then?" I turned back to the older man sitting next to me. "Don't let something good get away from you just because you're scared." We stared at each other for a few minutes, his eyes screaming at me that I was being an idiot. And, while our eyes were connected, I knew he was right. I was being so ridiculously stupid. If I felt something for Gaara and he felt something for me, then surely we could work this out. I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want him to give up on me and find somebody new. I wanted him and by pushing him away I was making it so that that was his only option.

Tsume called us for dinner then and all of us stood, making our way to the dining room, Tsunade and Konohamaru already at the table. Gaara smiled at me as he walked past and my heart skipped a beat, my mind made up in that moment. Holding back like this was stupid.

I'd make him mine.

I couldn't stop smiling all throughout dinner. Everybody seemed to pick up on my mood, only Kiba and Jiraiya really knowing what was up with me. I couldn't help being excited. Optimistic thoughts seemed to cloud my brain and made the gathering even more wonderful to me, not only because some of my most treasured people were sitting around the table, but because everyone seemed to love the young man sitting beside my son. When dinner finished, Gaara helped Tsume and Hana clear the table, Konohamaru trailing behind the redhead like he was attached to the teen by some invisible string. I could see his eyelids drooping every time they stopped, but he kept right beside his nanny until they finished and the pale boy picked him up and held him against him.

The big brown eyes slid shut moments later, tiny hands holding onto Gaara's shirt gently. And though it seemed impossible, my excitement grew. Konohamaru had been trying in his own way to get me to accept the fact that the redhead would be staying with us, no matter how me or Gaara felt about it. Then my thoughts went above that. Had little one been trying to convince us to get together? I snorted at that thought and shook it away.

Gaara sat beside me on the couch after everything was settled and everyone sat around to talk. I shifted as smoothly as I could with my heart attempting to jumping out of my chest and slid my arm over his shoulders on the couch, careful to not touch him too much. He stiffened momentarily, but I held my ground and he relaxed. We sat there, Gaara remaining mostly quiet while the rest of us talked/shouted for hours. Somehow, during that time I placed my arm around his shoulder and we started talking about leaving, my arm had slipped from the couch and laid across his shoulders, with him leaning towards me. And though I remained calm, I was happily freaking out inside. The smile on Jiraiya's face and the look in Tsume's and Hana's eyes told me they noticed as well but weren't saying anything.

"Well, we should go before it gets freakishly dark." I announced happily. Gaara stood then, still cradling an awake Konohamaru in his arms. Little fingers played with the strands of red hair at the base of the teen's neck, and I had to smile again.

Everyone stood and we said our goodbyes, Tsume telling us to not be strangers and Jiraiya giving me a smirk. I returned it as I slid the coat on my little one, Gaara pulling the hat over his hair. We pulled our own coats on, and I picked up my child, smiling when he buried his face in my neck, and the teen grabbed the bag of leftovers the Inuzuka women forced on us. With one last wave, we walked out into the freezing wind. I laughed when the redhead complained about the snow that would be on us any day now. He put the bag on the backseat floor, and I buckled the little brunet into his seat, covering him in a blanket and giving him a kiss on the nose.

I climbed into the drivers seat, smiling as Gaara blew warm air into his hands. I turned the car on, started the heater and the radio. It was quiet in the vehicle while we made our way down the driveway and turned onto the highway. Halfway home, no one had said a word and I was becoming antsy. I really wanted to talk to Gaara about everything I had thought through that day, the conclusion I'd come to. I wanted to ask him to be patient with impossible me. More importantly, I wanted to know how he felt about me. But I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth to talk.

I swallowed nervously and searched for the words. All I drew up was a giant blank. How had I put my arm around him so casually back there? Because I didn't have to talk to do it... I just did what was natural. At some point my body had took over and I moved without thinking. I smiled at the road and glanced out over at the beautiful redhead beside me out of the corner of my eye. My fingers reached out and found his easily. His shoulders tensed for a second, but he didn't move his eyes from the window beside him, he didn't look at me, he didn't ask me what I was doing or, more importantly to me, move away from my touch. Our fingers folded together slowly and an impossibly happy smile broke out over my face.**  


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**Painkillers... painkillers made me do it. Insanely confusing romance. I love those.**

**Reviews tell me what you like and what you don't. Leave me one? :D  
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	10. Chapter Ten

**Thanks for those that voted in the poll. Um.... Thanks to all of you that reviewed! Honestly... it makes me so happy to hear people are liking this story! Um... Note at the end is semi-important if you wanna know stuffs... Um... I hate this chapter. Not that I think it's horrible or anything... it was just a bitch to write. :D Enjoy. -I like 'um' XD-  
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Chapter Ten**

-_Gaara_-

When he took my hand, my heart tried to die. I kept myself from exploding into a happy pile of goo by wondering what exactly his hand reaching out for mine meant. For some reason, I tried to tell myself he might just be checking my hands for something, but that stupid, silly, girly side of my brain was cheering like I'd just won something. I expected the hand to retreat quickly, to be pulled away once Naruto snapped awake, but it remained intertwined with mine, the longer, strong fingers giving mine an occasional squeeze. Every few minutes, his thumb swept across the back of my hand and I found I couldn't breathe, my stomach fluttering nervously.

He held my hand the entire way back to the city, gently making it so I couldn't even think about all the things I should've obviously been thinking. When we came up to a red light, he looked at me for the first time since we'd gotten into the car. A soft smile tilted his lips and his eyes glittered brightly in the dark. My eyes lowered seconds after they met his, and I tried to calm myself down. It was the fastest hour I'd ever spent in a car while still managing to be the longest. When we stopped in front of the apartment complex, I pulled Konohamaru from his car seat while his papa grabbed the food, we walked up together, his hand seeking out mine once more.

I don't know why he felt the need to hold my hand, I really wasn't sure I could trust the signals he seemed to be giving me. I was confused and excited all at the same time, making different emotions play over my face every few seconds, but then he smiled at me and I just went with being happy. He unlocked the front door and stepped back, letting me step through it first. I tried to keep myself in check and set the three-year-old on the couch. He stared up at me with wide eyes as I pulled off his hat and coat, asking if I could put in Dumbo. I nodded with a smile on my face, but Naruto was already slipping the movie into the player.

I shifted awkwardly before turning away and walking to my room. I stared at the brick wall outside my window blindly, unwinding the long scarf slowly, trying to get a grip on what was going on with my blond haired, blue eyed employer. The dance we seemed to be doing around each other was thrown off by what happened today. The arm across my shoulders... the hand reaching for mine, fingers holding mine gently, the soft smile. I sighed and tossed the wool scarf on my bed, head falling forward and fingers reaching up to rub against my forehead. If he was trying to drive me crazy, he was doing a damn good job of it.

I slid the coat of my shoulders and tousled my hair gently as I threw it beside the scarf on my bed. I just didn't want to think about it anymore. My head couldn't take it.

-

"Hey, kid!" I shifted away from the voice and pulled the blanket over my shoulders. Warm hands landed on my arm shook me lightly. "Gaara!" The voice whispered again. I groaned and buried my face into my pillow, willing the nuisance I vaguely recognized as Naruto to go away. I was just too tired for whatever he wanted. That thought had me pulling from sleep gently. Naruto was awake before me? What time did that make it? "Wake up!" His voice was excited. Not good.

"Papa, way him up!" Konohamaru as well? I willed my eyes to open and moaned. It felt like I'd only been asleep an hour... I turned to look over my shoulder at the little Uzumaki family. The room was too dark to be the afternoon... too dark to be the morning really. Their faces beamed at me in the small amount of light that spilled from the kitchen, dark brown and bright blue eyes shining with excitement, both appeared to be bouncing happily. I glared at the blond and rolled over to go back to sleep. I was much too tired to deal with whatever weird thing had them so giddy so early in the morning.

The bed bounced as I felt Konohamaru latch onto my body, rubbing his face against me lovingly, forcing his papa to laugh, and the bed dipped again when he sat beside me. A warm hand ruffled my hair gently and I felt myself lean into it. "Konohamaru?"

"Yes!"

"I think we have a problem."

"Polum?"

"Yes. A big problem." I rolled my eyes behind my eyelids and attempted to block them out. In thirty minutes I could deal with the blue eyed man and his weirdness, not right then. "I think our Gaara has died." I stiffened, but Konohamaru only giggled. "Do you remember how they brought people back to life in Snow White?"

"Kiss!"

"Yes. With a kiss. We need to wake Gaara up with a kiss." My heart stopped at those words. What the hell was the blond idiot saying? Was he going to kiss me? In front of Konohamaru? No way. The bed shifted and my heart restarted itself at a furious rate. This wasn't happening, right? I was still dreaming. I had to be. Naruto didn't say shit like that anywhere other than in my dreams. I felt warm breath splash across my cheek and tried to remain calm. No way. He was trying to freak me out into waking up. That was it. Soft lips pressed against my skin in the form of a big, sloppy kiss on my cheek and realization dawned on me, leaving me feeling like an idiot. I turned my head and smiled at the big, brown eyes that met mine. Naruto laughed like an idiot. "It worked! Disney never lies!" He shouted as he hopped up from his place beside me.

"Shut up." I growled while the three-year-old giggled, snuggling into my arms.

"It did work, though." He beamed at me. I rolled my eyes and stretched my arms above my head, arching my back and stiffening my legs to pull at the still sleeping muscles.

"What time is it?"

"Uh... It's four something."

"In the morning?" I looked at the pair like they were crazy. "Shouldn't you still be impersonating a rock in your bed?"

"Ha ha." He smiled and lifted the little one from my arms. "I accidentally left the window open and--"

I sat straight up. "You left the window open?"

"Yeah, I was reading and forgot to shut it when I fell asleep, but listen--"

"You were reading?"

He sighed and made a face. "Oh, Very funny." I gave him a smile and he returned it, sapphire eyes dancing brilliantly. "Anyway, before I'm interrupted again. It snowed!" He bounced on his feet, his look of pure happiness mimicked by his child. "Look! It's still snowing! There's a lot!" Konohamaru echoed his words happily, bouncing in his papa's arms. I stared at them like they were both out of their fucking minds before rolling back over and pulling the blanket over my head. "Hey!"

"I. Can't. Believe. You. Woke. Me. Up. At. Four. In. The. Morning. All. Because. It. _**Snowed**_." I growled.

Konohamaru giggled. "Not just because it snowed," The blanket was torn from me, and I glared up at the blond. "We're all going to play in it." The three-year-old cheered happily and ran from the room. I continued my glare up at the blue eyed demon who was just begging to die.

"I don't play in the snow."

"What!? No way!"

"Yes way." I reached for the blanket, but it was pulled back further. "I'm a normal human being. We stay in bed and drink warm things when it snows. It's too cold. It's just frozen rain. Nothing to be excited over."

He laughed. "You can't throw rain at people. That alone is worth the excitement."

I rolled to face the wall and huddled into a ball against the cold. "That is just another reason to hate it. You seriously don't expect me to get out of bed at four in the morning just so you can, basically, hurl balls of ice at me, do you?" The bed dipped behind me again, announcing that he had taken a seat beside me once more. "Not my idea of fun." I whispered, trying to distract myself from the fact I was only in a tee shirt and boxers while Naruto was in my bed.

"If you don't get out of bed, I'll be forced to bring the snow inside. Just for you." I glared at him over my shoulder. He looked completely serious. "Or I could just carry you down as you are."

"I would hate you forever."

"Would you leave?"

"No."

"Then I'd live with it."

That made a blush stain my face. My heart sped up again and I turned my body to face him, releasing my hold on my legs. The smile on his face became softer, his hand raising to brush his fingertips against my face. What was he doing? Did he have to look at me like that? The fingers brushed my hair from my face, leaving a tingling trail from my forehead, down my cheek, following my jaw line and ending at my chin. I had to remind myself to breathe. His thumb gently swiped against my lips and his smile grew. "Now come on. You're coming with us, whether I have to carry you out in your pajamas or not." He stood and walked from the room when Konohamaru called out for him, leaving me breathless and stunned.

I climbed off the bed and stood on shaky legs after several minutes of mentally calming myself down. I dressed quickly, jeans, an undershirt, a tee shirt, a hoodie, my coat and my scarf on my body in a minute, trying my best to bundle against the cold I knew would meet me when we went outside. I cursed under my breath at the fact I never bought a hat or gloves. Stupid me.

I joined the two in the living room, glaring daggers at the ecstatic blond and smiling gently at the bundled toddler. Konohamaru bounced around my feet like the best thing in the world was about to happen as we walked to the street below. I wished I could share his enthusiasm. "I regret getting out of bed already." I muttered as Naruto pushed the door open and a blanket of white was revealed, fogging my breath as soon it left my mouth.

The blond laughed, picked up his son and grabbed my hand. "It'll be great! I promise."

"Yea, Gaawa!"

We walked to the park, the street lamps still lit and the sun still hiding. The snow was an inch above my ankles and slid into my shoes with each step while the freezing air numbed my ears. By the time we made it to the park, I was ready to turn around, go home, crawl into bed and pray for the sun to melt away the white that plagued the ground. Naruto and Konohamaru, however, seemed to be getting even happier. So I held my tongue and endured.

After a few minutes of huddling by a tree watching the two play, they dragged me out into the field of white and forced me to play as well. Moments later, I forgot I was cold. I helped them build an igloo and laughed when the poorly constructed snow fort caved in on the blond's head. We built a snowman and got stuck at the face, before finding rocks and sticks to make him smile. We threw snow balls and rolled in the soft, white snow, stopping to make snow angels. The sun was up before I realized it and it was Konohamaru who began complaining about the cold first.

Naruto led us to a small diner on the other side of the park and ushered us inside. We sat at a booth, our faces pink from the cold, all of us smiling and the two with me laughing happily. I pulled Konohamaru's coat, mittens, and hat off, laying the wet articles beside me on the vinyl seat and Naruto ordered us coffee and his son cocoa. While the toddler busied himself with coloring a child's place mat, his papa turned to me with a smile. "Wasn't it worth getting out of bed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah."

He picked up a stray crayon and handed it back to the three-year-old. "Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you, why were you on the fire escape?"

"Before you..."

"Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck, a sheepish smile on his face.

I smiled. "The ladder was down, so I climbed up to the roof. I don't know why. I just wanted to climb up and watch the few stars that can be seen in this city." He chuckled and tilted his head, a soft smile lifting his lips. We fell into an easy conversation after that, ordering a breakfast that Konohamaru barely ate because he said it didn't taste right, before leaving to walk back to the apartment.

When we got back, I changed the three-year-old into warm, dry clothes before slipping off to my room to do the same. When I came back out, Konohamaru jumped into my arms and we both settled on the couch, a throw blanket covering our laps as we watched Alice in Wonderland while Naruto cut up vegetables and meat for tonight's dinner, throwing it into a crock pot to simmer all day.

We were both out before the little girl fell into the rabbit hole.

-_Naruto_-

I smiled when I walked into the living room and spotted Gaara and Konohamaru fast asleep on the couch. Pale arms circled around the three-year-old's tiny form, his head thrown back in a position that looked uncomfortable. I let out a light laugh and sat beside them on the couch, pulling both into my arms. Gaara's head landing lightly on my chest, Konohamaru's landing softly on the teen's stomach. I stretched my leg out against the back of the couch, neither of them even stirring in their sleep when I shifted them around. I smiled and buried my face in the soft, crimson waves. My arms slid under his, cradling both the teen and my toddler in my arms.

This was all I wanted. Everything I really wanted in my life fit in my arms. Konohamaru already was mine, I suppose. He was mine to take care of, protect and love. Gaara was another matter. I just had to take it slow, I had to show him that I cared, that I wasn't going to run away this time. I smiled. I hadn't felt the urge to date in such a long time. Ever since the accident it was all about meeting Konohamaru's needs, making sure he was happy. But Gaara came along... and now all my sleeping needs reared up and swept me away. I knew that what I was feeling wasn't love, but given time and nurtured right, it could be. That fact scared me but didn't change my decision to pursue him.

It felt weird to come to a decision like that. For as long as I could remember, I never stopped myself and held back like I was doing with Gaara. I just saw a person I wanted and went after them. No real thought behind it, but with the redhead, I found myself doubting every little move, every sentence, fearing something I did would send him farther from me. What made it all the weirder, was that I could just drop everything and let myself be me, just a little more cautious. Something about him put me at ease yet on edge, part of him screaming 'unbreakable' while whispering 'fragile'. The nervous feelings he made burn through me was becoming addictive...

I kissed the red hair beneath my lips and nuzzled my nose into it gently. He let out a soft sigh and shifted against my chest, making the smile on my face grow. I turned my attention to little Alice on the screen as she approached the easily offended caterpillar and was out before the rhyming began.

-

I wrapped my arms tighter around the warmth and inhaled the familiar scent deeply. It wasn't a strong scent. It was faint, light and easily defeated by the other smells around it, but it was so welcome to me. It was like sugar. Red flashed behind my eyelids. Yes. Gaara smelled like sugar to me. Pure cane sugar. I took another deep breath and sighed. "I don't know. It was just me and Konohamaru when I fell asleep." His voice vibrated his back against my chest pleasantly, and I inhaled again. "I think he's sniffing me."

"I think that's normal behavior." A deeper voice laughed. I frowned slightly and tightened my arms. The teen laughed, and I buried my face in his hair, smelling the sugar smell once more. It wasn't just sugar... it had a touch of... Vanilla? Cinnamon? Something. I couldn't really say what the other smell was, but I knew I adored it just as much as the sugary one. "I'm gonna get Konohamaru ready, you wake up sleeping beauty."

"Dat a gul. Papa boy." We shifted slightly, and I heard footsteps wander off.

Gaara tried to move from my arms, but I pulled him back, burying my face in the silky hair again. "Who's here?" I growled.

"Are you awake?" he asked, shifting in my arms.

"No." I moaned.

"Liar." I smiled and let him pull himself from my arms. "Kiba's here. Said something about Christmas shopping." I kept my eyes closed and grimaced.

"Then I'm definitely still asleep." He laughed and stood up. I finally got my eyes open in time to see the red head stretch, his arms above his head, back arching slightly, shirt riding up to expose the creamy skin it usually hid so well. Oh damn. Was everything he did so attractive? My eyes scanned his body longingly and I had to swallow before I began drooling. Thankfully, Kiba and Konohamaru reappeared before my instincts could overcome me and I pinned the redhead to the floor.

"Good. Now that your not molesting red anymore, we can go." I glared at the brunet man as I felt my face heat up, but he just smirked.

"Do we really have to today?"

"It's the first week of December, it's practically mandatory that we go. We gotta. Come on, it'll be fun. Battling the crazy women, trying not to be mauled, we could even sing Ho Ho Hopefully." He grinned.

"Not funny." I smiled.

"Whatever. Get your coat. Are you coming, red?"

I turned to look at Gaara. The teen just glared at my shaggy friend. "I do have a name, you know? And I think I'll sit this one out."

"You sure? We're going to pick out a tree and everything." I smiled, and he nodded.

"Yes. I've had enough snow for one day." I laughed and walked to grab my coat from the hallway closet.

"We'll be back in an hour." Kiba gave a laugh, and I sighed. "A few hours." Konohamaru said his goodbye, and I waved as we left. It was quiet as we made our way down to Kiba's SUV, our footsteps the only real noise. The street below was full of activity. Faces smiling, a few not so happy, everyone on their way to something or someone. Konohamaru was shifted from my arms to Kiba's as I pulled his car seat from my car and to my friend's.

We pulled away from the curb and into traffic slowly, before the dog lover turned to me with a grin. "So... molesting him in your sleep is a step forward right?"

"Shut it."

"But you, my dear, need to know~!"

"I'm warning you."

"This year I want you alone~!"

"I will kill you."

"Ho ho hopefully, this holiday will make us belie-- Ouch!"

-

"You seriously dragged him out at four am to play in the snow?" I nodded and took another drink from the paper cup in my hand, watching my little one look at toys and remembering each thing that caught his interest. Kiba roared with laughter and I joined him, forcing several heads to turn our way. "Damn. How'd that go?"

"Honestly? It was awesome. He totally hated me for the first twenty minutes, but he got into it after the igloo caved in."

He snorted and shifted the bags in his hands. "We never did find a way to successfully build an igloo, did we?"

"Nope." I clucked my tongue. "That was my reason for going into construction, too. Dang." He laughed and punched my shoulder playfully.

"So... now that it's snowing, construction's gonna slow down, isn't it?"

"Nope. Gai said the boss is going with the winter construction idea and a lot of the projects are just putting in the dry wall after the electricians and others get done." I followed Konohamaru around the corner of the aisle, shifting the heavy bags in my hand and set the empty cup on one of the shelves. "So I won't have to dip into the... yeah. We'll be good this year." The air around us hung awkwardly for a few seconds before Kiba changed the subject easily.

"Are you getting Gaara something?"

My head turned to him so quickly that I felt something pop. I'd been wondering if I should since we walked into the death trap known as the mall. "Well, I was thinking--"

"About wrapping yourself in a velvet ribbon and molesting him under the tree?" I tried not to laugh at that, but failed. "I can see his face now. Best. Present. **Ever**."

My shoulders shook with the silent laughter. "Not funny, dude, not funny."

"And yet you laugh."

-_Gaara_-

I unwrapped the scarf around the lower half of my face and walked to my room, bag of presents in my hands. The smile I'd been fighting to keep off my face since I woke up in Naruto's arms that afternoon spread out easily, safely hidden from the world in my room. If there was a better way to wake up from a nap, I didn't know it. And then he hadn't let me go. I could still smell him around me, a mix of cinnamon and deep, earthy, musk that was both calming and thrilling. When had he joined us in the living room? Did I lean against him first? Or had he reached out for me?

Who cares? I smiled at my thoughts. All that really mattered to me was he kept holding me even after he'd woken up. I grinned like a moron and leaned against my door. My mind was peaceful for the first time in ages. But then that ugly little voice of doubt rose in the back of my mind. Naruto was used to holding Konohamaru all night... wouldn't he naturally just cling to whatever was in his reach? And he had reached for me automatically all those times I'd woken him up the first few days I'd been here...

I stopped thinking at that point and walked to my closet, pushing the toys I'd bought for the three-year-old to the back, reaching for the happiness I'd been feeling before, but it was far out of reach. Why did I always have to bring myself down? Why did I always have to over think everything? Drugs? Nope. Alcohol? No way. Why would I need those things when my mind was the most self destructive thing I could get my hands on? I let out a heavy sigh and changed my pants for dry ones.

I laughed lowly as I tossed the snow dampened pants into the basket with my other ones from this morning and returned to the kitchen to stir the ingredients in the crock pot. The smell of meat and softening vegetables warmed me from within, and I had to stop myself from humming. I made a face, dropped the lid back on and walked to the living room. Maybe that jerk, Sasuke, had been right... I was practically acting like a little freakin housewife. Stirring dinners, cleaning house, secretive shopping. I crinkled my nose in distaste, curling up under the throw blanket from this afternoon on the couch.

I stared at the wall in front of me for a while, keeping my mind blank for once and just listened to the silence. It wasn't a pressing, demanding, awkward, harsh silence, it was a nice, cozy silence that left me feeling peaceful. I smiled at the rarity of such a quiet before it was shattered. I almost laughed. "Gaawa. Twee!!" The three-year-old shouted as the door slammed open and little footsteps ran through the hallway. I closed my eyes and waited. Warm breath that smelled like cookies splashed over my face and invaded my nose seconds later. "Gaawa." The voice whispered, tiny fingers pushing hair from my face. "You leep?" His voice was so amazingly sweet in its little whisper, I felt something swell in my chest.

I managed to keep a straight face and let out a low growl, my hands shooting out, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him to my chest so quickly I even startled myself. The little boy gasped loudly and laughed when I rubbed my face into his stomach. "Montu! Gaawa montu!" He shouted and laughter burst from my mouth. His giggle grew and he returned my growl, rubbing his nose against mine. "Kohamoo montu!"

"The scariest monsters ever." I smiled and he wiggled around in my arms, pulling a small candy cane from his pocket and pushing it up to my lips. I opened them slightly and he pushed it in gently, waiting for my teeth to clamp down so it wouldn't fall out. I laughed and opened my mouth to ask around the red and white candy stick where his papa was when something clattered to the floor in the hallway.

"Dang it. Watch out for that... whatever that was." Naruto's deep growl made its way to my ears, making my heart thump in response.

"What was it?"

"I dunno. Turn it a bit... No, dumba- idiot, the other way." Something else fell to the floor. "This isn't working."

"How'd we get one in last year?"

"Who the hell knows? Just, kinda... I dunno. Push." There was a yelp, followed by a loud crash. I jumped to my feet and walked to the living room's door, Konohamaru still in my arms. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. The blond lay on the floor, half of the large pine tree covering his legs, while Kiba lay in the doorway, flat on his stomach over the trunk. Naruto had his eyes closed and his lips twitched, in annoyance or fighting off a laugh I couldn't tell. It took several seconds for Kiba to burst into loud, snorting laughter, Naruto's deep chuckle joining moments after. "Well, it's in at least." That only added volume to the brunet's crazy laugh. Brilliant, blue eyes opened slowly, landing on me instantly, as if he knew I'd be there, forcing the air from my lungs momentarily. "Hey, kid. How's it going?" I just shook my head and walked away.

It took them half an hour to right themselves, rearrange the furniture, argue about placement, and move the furniture again before the tree was actually in the stand and ready to decorate. Konohamaru clapped loudly when they finished and ran around the dark green addition to the living room, pulling at the pine needles curiously, making faces when he sniffed his hand. He held his hand out for me to see the clear liquid, nose crinkled slightly. "Twee pee on me." I hid behind a hand as I laughed.

I opened my mouth to tell him it wasn't pee, but Naruto cut me off, eyeing the tangled lights in front of him with doubt. "Better wash it off or you'll turn into a tree and we'll have to plant you outside."

Chocolate brown eyes widened and his little mouth fell open at his papa's words. "Don't be ridiculous, Naruto." Three sets of eyes turned to me, two in amusement, one in relief. "We'd plant him in a pot and keep him inside." Kiba roared with laughter, arm reaching out and punching me gently in the shoulder, while Naruto hid his face with one hand, shoulders shaking. Konohamaru just looked shocked. I grabbed him by the clean hand and led him to the kitchen, setting him on the counter and scrubbing the tree gunk away, reassuring him that he would not become a tree. The toddler stayed by my side for the rest of the night, sticking his tongue out at his papa every now and then.

-

"You've got to push it."

"Like this?"

"No, like this."

"That's how I was doing it."

"You have to do it harder."

"I can't do it any harder!"

"That's much too hard. You have to find the middle ground. Just let me do it."

"No! I want to!"

"Do you guys always fight like a married couple? Or is that only in front of me?" I tossed a glare at the smiling brunet, my arms covered to my elbows in flour, several large powdery hand prints on my waist and chest from where Naruto had grabbed me to get to the bread dough on the counter. I felt myself blush slightly while Naruto laughed and pressed down on the dough, forgetting to fold it over again.

"You're doing it wrong again." I rolled my eyes and elbowed my way between the blond and bread dough. The blue eyed male let out a huff and folded his arms across his chest, smearing the flour and sticky dough all over his shirt. I laughed and shook my head at the childish reaction, kneading the bread quickly before throwing it in the bowl to rise.

"I coulda done that." Naruto muttered, picking at his fingernails.

"But you didn't." I replied, wiping the flour from the counter with a sponge. I looked over at the toddler by my bedroom door, playing with his blocks and Akamaru, ignoring us for the most part, lost in his own little world. He'd spent the week as a bouncing ball of energy, excited for Christmas, going on and on about Santa Claus, begging his papa to sing the carols that played on the radio and TV. I'd never seen the holiday with a child around. Witnessing his happiness made me excited as well. It was just so infectious.

The blond was cheery as well, complying with Konohamaru's every wish, dragging us out to play in the snow after he'd get off work, whining until I'd make hot cocoa, cookies and everything he couldn't. Unfortunately, that included most sweet things which he craved like a kid. The first time I made homemade bread, I thought his face was going to break from smiling so widely.

I placed a hand towel over the ball of dough and set it aside, opening the cupboard to grab the almonds for the cookies Kiba had begged me to make earlier. I sighed at the thought of being stuck in the kitchen for another hour and pulled the rest of the ingredients onto the counter. I had the batter almost finished before Naruto turned to me again, eyeing the contents of the bowl in front of me. I rolled my eyes, already knowing the question he was going to ask, and poured the almonds in. "Almond chocolate chunk cookies." I was startled by the look that appeared on the blond's face as soon as the words left my lips. He was practically drooling. "What?" I asked, taking a step away from him.

"... You have just made me the happiest man in the world."

My mouth fell open and I felt it twitch. "Uh, it's just a cookie."

"Just a cookie? No way. It's the king of cookies! The greatest cookie ever invented. Mom used to make these every Christmas. No matter how much I begged her to make them the rest of the year, she would say they were only for winter!" I looked over at the brunet who just gave me a happy, triumphant grin. "They are so not the same store bought, and I've never been able to make them. Oh man! Can I have the spoon?"

I jerked the bowl away when he reached for it, a smile on my face. "No."

"No way! Not cool, kid, not cool. Come on!" He begged, hands clasping together under his chin. I just shook my head and finished mixing the chocolate into the batter.

"Gaawa, I hap spoon?" Konohamaru asked with a smile, suddenly by my feet, eyes pleading with me.

I grinned. "Sure." Kiba roared with laughter from behind me.

"Ack! Favoritism!!" Naruto shouted, throwing his hands up. "That's total favoritism! You all saw it!" I laughed and turned to grab the cookie sheet from a cupboard, giving the blond the perfect opportunity to snatch the bowl. He gave a triumphant cry and ran from the room, cradling the bowl to his chest.

"Naruto!" I growled loudly, handing the spoon to the toddler and running after his childish papa. I chased him through the living room, down the hall, around his bedroom, and into Konohamaru's room. "Don't you dare." I muttered, glaring at him playfully as his fingers started for the cookie dough. He grinned and moved even slower, daring me to do something about it. "I'm serious." His smile just grew, his fingers almost in the bowl.

I lunged for him, but he raised the bowl over his head, stupid smile still plastered on his face. "What's the matter? Need a stool?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me, enjoying the differences in our height. I rose on my tiptoes, fingers straining for the bowl, scowl on my face.

"Give it to me!" I growled, giving a little jump.

"Bwa ha ha ha!" He laughed mockingly, managing to lift it even higher. "Once again tall people have the advantage!"

My eyes narrowed even more as an idea came to me. "Give it back or face the consequences."

"Oo! Scary." He mocked, still holding it out of my reach.

"Fine. Can't say I didn't warn you." I grinned, making his eyes question me. My hands landed flat on his chest, forcing his eyes to widen and mouth to fall open. My fingers drummed against him as my hands traveled down, his eyes growing and growing until I was sure they would pop right out of his head, and began tickling him. The reaction was immediate, his body curling over as he tried to back away, wiggling wildly, laughter trying to stay quiet.

"No! Stop!" I laughed and just continued my assault. "You win! You win!" I just kept tickling. "I give!" He snorted, laughter finally breaking through and surrounding us in the small room. "Take it! Take it! Please!" I finally pulled my hands back and grabbed the bowl before he could change his mind, walking confidently from the room. I heard him follow me back to the kitchen. "Short people suck." I rolled my eyes, dipped a spoon into the batter and handed it to the pouting blond.

-

"Right after Christmas it's his birthday. So I figure if I just buy a whole crap load of stuff and divide it seventy-thirty it'll work out better." He grinned at me, stuffing another wrapped box into the hall closet. Naruto had been keeping the presents he'd already bought in the trunk of his car, waiting for Konohamaru to take a nap to bring them in. It was a good idea, but the blond kept forgetting or falling asleep right beside his son. The holiday was next week and he was just now getting around to lugging them all upstairs. He stuffed one last brightly wrapped box into the closet and pulled a blanket over them.

"What are you going to do with the rest?" I raised an eyebrow at the armful that still lay in a bag on the floor. He grinned up at me.

"Can I put them in your closet? Mines already full..."

My mouth fell open. "How much stuff did you buy him?"

"Um... a lot?"

I laughed and picked up the bag, walking to my room. Naruto followed, talking happily. "This'll be the first Christmas where he's able to walk. Oh! He'll be able to open the presents himself this year, too. This really is exciting! I wonder where my camera is... I gotta find it." I grinned and pushed the bag into my closet. "We've gotta take a lot of pictures." I shut the door and turned around to face him, gasping silently at how close he was. "And it's the first Christmas you'll be with us." That did it. I took in a sharp breath, staring up at him, my back flat against the closet door. The way he said it... the first Christmas... as if I'd be with them to celebrate more. My face heated with a blush, and I bit my bottom lip.

His hand grabbed mine softly, the other rising to my cheek, caressing it softly. My heart jumped against my rib cage, thudding so loudly I was sure it could be heard throughout the entire city. Sapphire eyes peered into mine gently, searching for something, burning with something... "Gaara." Oh, god. Don't say my name like that. I'll be destroyed. "Gaara, I... I..." It looked as if he was struggling to find his words. I swallowed nervously, shivering suddenly.

The sudden movement of my body seemed to snap him to his senses and he took a step back, hand releasing mine, the other one dropping back to his side. "So, um... uh, I'll just go... and... be somewhere else." He flashed me an uneasy smile and backed out of the room quickly, sliding the door closed quietly.

-

The weird behavior from the blond just continued. As soon as we were left alone, he'd somehow get so close to me, eyes darkening with emotion, feather soft touches placed on my arms, face and neck, before something would stop him and he would jump back as if I had the plague, mumbling some nonsense and disappearing.

To say it was frustrating would be the understatement of the year.

It was beginning to wear me down. Was I doing something wrong? What did this mean? Why was this hurting me so much? His indecision tore me apart and made me wary of being around him. I found myself hiding away when Konohamaru took a nap or went somewhere with Kiba, Udon, or Moegi. I couldn't handle the quiet that pressed around us when we were together. It was suffocating, crushing.

I was losing hope.

I began doubting the signs I thought he'd sent my way. Every touch put me on edge, and I found myself backing away from the blond. If I misread the signs again, I would be the only one hurt by it. I couldn't bear the thought of being turned away again. I was losing it. Everything. It was slipping away from me. The only time I seemed in control, normal, was when Konohamaru was around. When the three-year-old was in the room, the three of us seemed natural. There was no awkward silence, no careful avoidance. We just were. And I was thankful of the little boy for that.

I held the little boy in my lap on Christmas eve, his head resting against my chest, waiting for him to fall asleep. His eyes drooped and he yawned every other minute, but he was determined to stay up, wanting to catch sight of 'Santa'. I smiled and rubbed my face in his hair. Had I been like this as a child? Stubbornly waiting for a fictional character to show up and leave me presents and happiness? I doubted it. It was already ten o'clock, way past the normal time he'd be passed out and tucked into bed, but he refused to give in.

"Papa?"

"Yes?" Naruto smiled down at the three-year-old from his place beside us, fingers brushing gently over mine, making my heart race while my mind told me to not get excited.

"Sing me tismis song." Another yawn warped the last word.

Naruto let out a low laugh, taking my hand with one of his, the other reached up to ruffle the toddler's wild, brown hair. "December first, I'm in a foreign state." I smiled and lay my head against the back of the couch. Kiba had been trying to get the blond to sing the song all month. I recognized the first line from the dozens of times the brunet had started, but the rest of the song was a mystery to me. "I hope for better this year. But you, my dear." His hand squeezed mine gently, forcing my head to turn his way, his blue meeting my teal. His smile softened. "Need to know, this year I want you alone."

Heat rose to my face. I tried to remind myself it was just a song... just a song. But why did it seem as if he was singing it to me...? "This holiday will make us believe that we're exactly where we're supposed to be." Happiness exploded through me. Why did if feel like he was saying those words only for me? Was I reading too much into it? I refused to believe I was. The words poured into me and made hope rise within me again. "He makes me feel alive inside. And when I look into his eyes, I see the blue and green like Christmas lights, like Christmas lights. Oh, what a sight." I could've died then and been happy. What a stupid thing to be excited over, but who wouldn't be? "He's asleep." Naruto whispered, pulling me from my thoughts gently.

The blond lifted his child, and I disappeared into my room, pulling out the bag of presents stored in my closet. I brought them to the living room, being as quiet as I could possibly manage. Naruto emerged from his room moments later, arms full. I laughed quietly and helped him arrange them under the tree. I expected the terrifying awkwardness to surround us again but it seemed the mood wouldn't allow it. The blond was much too happy and I was still lifted by the stupid song. "There's a smaller one in blue paper... do you see it?"

"Here." I tossed it over to him. He caught it with as smile and buried it in the branches.

I raised an eyebrow and he laughed. "Uzumaki tradition." He stretched his arms above his head, before pulling the remaining boxes towards the tree. "My mom's dad, the one Konohamaru takes after, always did it, as did his dad and so on, until before anyone could remember. It's going to keep going." His smile twitched to non-existence after that. I worried about the silence I knew would follow. I didn't want it to come, to destroy the mood that the holiday created.

I moved to stand up after we'd finished but his hand reached out to stop me. I looked over at him, blue eyes pleading with me silently. "Naruto?"

"Gaara... Can we talk?" Hope and defeat warred within me, but I found myself taking a seat beside him instantly.

"Sure..." I mumbled quietly. He shot me a brief smile, never releasing my hand, before his eyes drifted to the tree. Silence blanketed us, thick while managing to be warm and comforting. It was a strange feeling, pulling the edge away from whatever kept us apart the past week and replacing it with a sort of gentle intimacy. I loved it. I adored it. I wanted it to go on and on.

The blond sighed as that thought passed through my mind and stared up at the ceiling, his long fingers stroking the back of my hand. "This... This is gonna make me sound like a really bad person." I watched him carefully. Was he going to push me away again? Some part of me had been foolishly thinking we were going to be making progress tonight, but the dark tone in his voice had me inching away from him slowly, waiting for the hurt he was surely about to hurl my way. "I'm, god, this is hard to say, I'm kind of happy... no that isn't the word, but I can't think of another word for it... I'm kind of glad that my mom died."

His words made me freeze and confusion flooded my mind. What? What?

"I loved my mom, don't doubt that. I still love her. I miss her all the time. I wish she was alive every day, I wish she was still here to give me advice, to hold her arms open for me to fall into, to love me, to give me strength... But I thank god everyday that she died as well." Sapphire eyes glittered with tears that had yet to fall. "My mom... Our mom... she was thrown from the car when the truck hit them because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. That was the first thing the police told me about the details of the accident. It didn't make sense to me at all. Mom was so frustratingly anal about wearing her seatbelt. She'd check to make sure I was wearing mine twice before even starting the car.

"Konohamaru was always in his car seat behind dad. That was just this weird thing they always did. Youngest behind the oldest. I never understood that." He laughed and moved his hands over my arms softly. "But when they found Konohamaru, his car seat wasn't even buckled down. The officers tried to tell me they were careless, probably forgetting to fasten the car seat properly, but I knew, I knew that wasn't like them. They would never forget to buckle little one in. It took me a minute to figure out what had actually happened. My parents weren't careless. My mother had taken off her seatbelt to save her baby. The drivers said they saw her jump over the seat before the impact."

The tears fell from his eyes and slid down his face silently, and I resisted the urge to reach up and wipe them away. Something about the look on his face told me not to. "It makes sense that she would do that... My parents had trouble conceiving. They always called us their miracles. They always told us they would die to protect us. If both dad and Konohamaru would've died in that crash, I have little doubt my mom wouldn't have been able to handle it. She would've still had me, but part of me knows that wouldn't have been enough... Konohamaru got sick after they first brought him home and they had to take him to the hospital for a few weeks... I'd never seen my mom so... unable to function. Dad worried about her so much, driving her to and from the hospital everyday just so she'd come home."

He cleared his throat and pulled me closer to him, arm winding around my waist. "The drivers side was completely crushed. My dad didn't have a chance. If Konohamaru had been behind him... there's no doubt he would've died as well. And he almost did... The truck hit them hard enough that the car broke through the guard rail and landed in a lake. He almost drowned before a bystander could get to him. They had to break a window because the door was useless..."

He let out a deep shuddering breath and stared into my eyes, tears still falling quietly. "Do you know what I was doing while all this was happening? Getting wasted with Kiba because Sakura had turned me down." He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I know my being with them wouldn't have mattered, it probably would've just added to the number of deaths. I know that if I was with them, the truck still would've lost control and there would've been nothing any of us could've done. But it... the police couldn't even reach me because I was so out of it." He hung his head and squeezed my fingers.

"I took off after the police had me identify my mother. I didn't even stop by the hospital to see my baby brother. " A sad laugh escaped his throat. "I couldn't help it. I was so... angry. I was so angry at the one-year-old because our mother had given up her life to save him. She was my mom." The hand holding onto mine let go and raised to cover his eyes. "Now that I look back, that anger makes me sick. It wasn't his fault, it was her choice...

"It took me a week to remember Konohamaru would be left to me if they died. They told me after I'd turned eighteen that they'd changed their wills to make me the guardian of my baby brother, should anything happen to them." He smiled sadly. "I was still angry at the world for taking my family, but I knew I had to step up. He was the only family I had left. I couldn't let someone else raise him. I found a job as a construction worker, bought an old, beat up car for six hundred dollars and found a cheap apartment with the account my father had set up for me. It took me weeks to work up the courage to go get him. I couldn't face anyone with the cowardice I'd shown... I couldn't, but I did. I couldn't smile for a year. I could work up a fake one for a few minutes, but I couldn't feel it.

"Then Konohamaru called me papa." He smiled. "The last bit of anger and depression weighing me down lifted with that one word. I'd failed him after our parents died, but after he called me papa for the first time, I swore to myself I would do everything in my power to keep from disappointing him ever again. I know that's a stupid goal, but I made it, and I'm doing my best to keep it."

All the information I'd just heard swam around in my head, it was hard to absorb. Naruto... I don't think I'd ever met such a selfless person, such a caring and gentle man. I cleared my throat softly, forcing his hand to drop and those gentle blue eyes to meet mine. "Why?" The word hung in the air for a moment, a confused look flashing across the darkened face, blue, green, and red flashing over us, making his eyes dance.

I opened my mouth to word my question better, but he seemed to understand what I had asked. "I want you to know about who I am, to know the past I'm ashamed of." He brought his hand to my cheek softly, caressing my skin with his thumb, as his face lowered to mine. "I want you to know me, Gaara." He whispered softly, breath spilling over my skin, other hand raising to my neck. I shivered as one of his fingers landed on a pulse point, each frantic beat of my heart pulling his presence further into me, straight to my heart.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" I asked, swallowing nervously. I pulled back slightly, but his hands didn't leave me, just as his eyes refused to let mine go. "You make me think you want me... When you touch me, when you stare into my eyes like this... when you say things like that. You build up this anticipation inside of me, then pull away." I willed my eyes to blink but they stubbornly stayed connected with his. I tried to distract myself from the hurt that was sure to follow, the moment he'd pull back, tried to distract myself from the awful feelings welling within me, destructive feelings that wanted to build and overflow again. "It isn't fair." I whispered the words so softly that I wondered if I'd even said them out loud.

"And I'm sorry for that." The pain reared up and my eyes finally slid shut against it. I struggled against him, trying to get to my feet and leave him behind. "Please let me finish," he whispered softly, lips next to my ear, making me bite my lip. "I really am sorry about my idiotic behavior. I'm sorry for what I did on my birthday, but not for the reason you think." He pressed a gentle kiss against the area just below my ear, forcing me to give a quiver of delight. "I'm sorry I said I was drunk when we both knew that I wasn't. I'm sorry I didn't say what I was thinking." My back hit the floor softly, forcing my eyes to snap open and peer up into the darkened blue of his. His hands landed on either side of my head, creating a cage, trapping me in his arms, his face so close to mine I found it hard to keep breathing. "I curse myself every night for what I did, but never because I regret kissing you." His fingers brushed against my face gracefully, traveling down my neck to that vein once more. "Touching you, not that at all. I wish I would've told you what I was feeling then."

I swallowed nervously, my hands rising to cup his face delicately. His eyes flashed with something that made my heart stop. "Tell me." I whispered breathlessly, trying to keep my emotions from breaking me.

He didn't answer right away, his eyes holding mine for the longest time before he lowered his head slowly, stopping only when our lips were a simple movement apart. "I don't know... I don't know how to explain... Explain the feelings that take over when you're around." Each word made his lips barely brush against mine, making it hard to focus on anything else. He held himself up with one hand as the other swept down me tenderly, outlining my body and driving me insane. I couldn't think, I couldn't breath, I couldn't move. What was he doing to me? How could I give him the power to make me feel so helpless? "It's so thrilling and terrifying all wrapped in one amazing and beautiful package."

He tipped his head forward then and his lips met mine for a second time. Gentle and soft, they fell into a rhythm and I was swept away. I'd been kissed frantically, passionately, sloppily, painfully, even sadistically, but never had I received a kiss so gentle, so sweet. I gave into it easily, arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His fingers scorched my skin as they spread out across my neck, cradling my face. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip delicately and I parted them further for his tongue to slide in. Even then he was so amazingly gentle, not a heavy battle of tongues as it had been the first time, rather a soft exploration that made me shudder. I found it impossible to remain aware of what was going on, all I knew was that he was above me, pressing his body into mine and his mouth was quickly creating a new addiction for me.

His tongue swirled around my lips one last time before he pulled back to look down at me. The sapphire eyes scanned my face, a soft smile tilting up the corners of his mouth. I felt myself return it and tried to keep myself from rising up and latching my mouth onto his once more. His smile grew and he placed a gentle, simple kiss to the corner of my mouth. We lay there for a moment, staring at one another, a comfortable silence between us, before I found my mouth opening to ask a question that I prayed wouldn't destroy the moment. "Where does this put us?" I whispered, hoping with everything I had he wouldn't snap awake and take back all that he'd said to me.

"I don't know." He answered, his smile growing slightly, his eyes dancing happily, still darkened with emotion. I gave a soft chuckle and his smile only grew until I figured it couldn't get any bigger. His fingers caressed my face affectionately, his lips pressing against my eyelids that slid shut just so he could. "All I know is I want to be able to call you mine." I tried to keep the insane look of bliss off my face, but figured I failed when he laughed and captured my lips again.

I could've cried.

* * *

**...I think I could write harlequin romance novels. -dies- Oh mi. They are 'together'. **

**Okay, here's the dealy. This is the LAST update for about two months. T.T My sister had a baby and I've been elected to go and be with her. Why? Cause I fell asleep during the family meeting and couldn't object... And my sister lives in the land of no cell signal and doesn't have a computer.... I'll have mine, but the chance of finding wi-fi out there is absolute zero. T.T (I hate the country side!!!) So unless I can write a chapter in three days -or by some miracle get to go into a city/town with internets access- ... this is it until September. Just thought I should let y'all know so you don't think I'm an abandoner... **

**Thank you for reading!! Leave a review? -cause you love me... remember?-  
**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Some Random IM: I though you said two months?  
Me: Uh... What?  
SRIM: Shudder. You said two months.  
Me: That... was a typo. I meant two years...?**

**So... This chapter was kinda hard to get through. I have this weird thing where once the characters get together I lose all interest. But! I found a new drive to get these two together and voila, two years later I update... I'm the worst fanfic writer/updater ever...**

**So much love to Ugawa for beta-ing this story after the long long break. And my gratitude to DarkAngelJudas for randomly sending me PM's to get off my bum and continue. My eternal appreciation to every reviewer this story has. Seriously. I love you all.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**_  
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_Gaara  
_

_I was still only a child, but I knew others looked at me with a type of hunger in their eyes. A hunger that made a sick feeling settle in my stomach and fear roll through me. I didn't know much about life, about money, about sex. In a month I would know about all three. Sex was just a way to make money. Or earn food. I was grateful for either. After all, I was still only a child._

_I met Sai two weeks after the first time I'd been paid to let a man screw me. I rarely talked at that point, all my extra weight was gone, I trusted no one, hated everyone, I mostly hated myself for what I did just to eat, just so I could be warm even for a moment. My age, small stature, and wide, oddly colored eyes made me a target for those who, I realized later on, should be locked up or thrown into a shallow grave. Those same attributes made me a target for the older street walkers, as well. Countless times I'd put myself through a hell that would haunt me for the rest of my life. All for a tiny bit of cash that was taken away by one of the older whores who people rarely stopped for anymore. The women were especially nasty to me, as if I represented something in their lives they'd rather have gone. I figured I was taking the abuse directed at their own children. I met Sai when one who would constantly harass me showed up my first Christmas on the street. She called herself Blu. I hated everything about her. The overly bleached hair still stuck in the 80's, her sunken brown eyes, her body that was nothing but sagging skin and bones. I hated her, but figured that a life like ours probably created what she was and underneath that hate, I pitied her. _

_She had just left two long scratch marks across my cheek when he showed up, twisted her arm behind her back and made her return my money. With interest in the form of all her cash and drugs. She struggled for a moment then tossed all she had at my feet. The pale youth then shoved her away and promised to tie her to a cement brick at the bottom of the river if he ever caught her harassing me again. I never saw Blu again. I tensed up and watched him carefully as he gathered all the drugs -a baggie of pills, some weed and what looked like some kind of powder- and tossed them down the drainage ditch. This act was answered with a mad wailing from a sixteen-year-old prostitute standing in the mouth of the alley, staring at him as though she was possessed. He then scooped up all the cash and stuffed it in my pocket. _

"_What's rollin', kitty cat?" I stared at him with blank eyes and waited for the punch other boys usually gave me before taking all my stuff. He just continued to stare down at me with his disturbing smirk and dark eyes. "Geez. Cat, you have the saddest eyes I've ever seen. At least you still look like you've got a soul. Let's go get a bite to eat, yeah?" I followed him closely as he led the way to an all night diner. Not only was I curious about him, but he was the only one to ever come to my rescue. I didn't want to be too far from him just yet. _

.:.:.:.:.

"_Merry Christmas, Cat." Sai called out his special nickname for me and smiled his creepy smile, making his way over to me, though I wished he would just go away. I wasn't afraid of being out here anymore, in fact sometimes I longed for some unfortunate accident to befall me, just so I could leave this pathetic life behind, because, to be honest, life out here was not a life at all. But I knew it also paid to have friends. If it was cold and you had no where to go, pairing up with another street walker could just bring in enough cash to find a cheap seedy room. And since Sai had taught me the ropes of this life, I knew I could trust him. Somewhat. Though no one else would because of his creepy fake ass smiles and perverted attitude. _

"_Is it that time already?" I asked absently, watching the snowfall, wishing I would be picked up again already to get out of the cold. I'd been out here long enough to realize that the holidays were actually a pretty good time for us, money wise, because most people didn't want to be alone on a holiday. Something about our society made those alone feel unwanted, so those alone came to get us. And I wasn't complaining. The money I'd pulled in last Christmas was enough to keep me in a crappy motel room for two and a half months. _

"_Not too many stopping for me tonight." He announced, leaning against the wall beside me. "A few approaches but only one pick up. This economy is ruining me."_

"_I've gotten two." I sighed just as a black Jeep pulled up in front of us. I approached the window as it lowered, peeking in to see an overweight balding man eyeing me like a piece of ham. "Hi there." I greeted, flashing an attempt at a smile. He licked his lips. _

"_How much?" His voice made me sick. _

"_Hundred to get me, fifty for each hour after that," I whispered. His smile made a shiver run down my spine. He looked like an animal ready to rip my throat out. _

"_Get in." I waved at Sai, making him grimace and give me a sympathetic look, and hopped in beside the most disgusting Christmas gift I'd ever received. I glanced out the window to see Sai jot the license plate number down. The guy made me nervous enough to warrant the extra precaution. I paid attention to the road as the man eyed me with a slimy smile every chance he got. He pulled up to a condemned looking building that I knew would be renting rooms at an hourly rate for dirt-cheap prices. I jumped out and followed him inside while he talked to the man behind the bulletproof window. I nodded as Matsuri rushed down the hall, fixing her shirt and tossing me a half-hearted wave._

"_What's up with the creeps tonight?" she whispered, glancing at the man I was with. Her body gave a twitch of disgust. "He could be the twin of the guy I just left in there. Be careful. If he's anything like my creep, he wants it rough." She rubbed her neck and wrapped a scarf designed to be decorative not functional around her neck and rushed from the building as the slime ball grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the hall._

_Opening a door he flung me into the room. "Alright, whore." He grabbed me by the hair and forced me on my knees and my head back. "I'll give you two hundred for an hour if you do everything I say exactly as I say." He hissed, tongue sliding up my cheek. I moaned and looked up at him with scared eyes, though no part of me was. I knew that's what he wanted. "Good boy. Now cry." Forced tears slid down my face as he slammed his fingers into my throat and guided my hand to his already hard dick. _

_Merry fucking Christmas._

.:.:.:.:.

My eyes flew open and took in the familiar spacious apartment as my heart thudded loudly in my chest. "I'm okay," I whispered. I clutched at my chest and sat up. "I'm okay." I looked around and found I was still in the apartment I viewed as heaven. The beige carpet still beneath me, the dark wooded entertainment stand lined the wall with various Disney movies lining its shelves, the whitewalls covered in photographs and a child's drawings. The same comfortable couch and loveseat, the beat up coffee table in front of them littered with books. The toy chest was still in the corner, toys just barely contained within it. The bookshelf still held the tiny toy soldiers posed in a battle forgotten by the three-year-old earlier in the week. There was still a crack in the wall where the 21-year-old and his friend slammed into it wrestling around. This was still my home. And memories of a life I could never imagine returning to did not exist here. I would not allow it. I was someone different here. I was no longer that person. Because I was happy here. They had made me happy here.

My favorite golden-haired man lay asleep next to me on the floor, his arms still wrapped around my waist. I bit my lip and sighed, bending down to kiss my blue-eyed savior gently as the memories of last years Christmas played over again in my head. That guy had hurt me pretty good. The money he'd paid me wasn't worth it, my body had been sore for a week and disturbing images would jump into my head at every possible moment for a month. I felt sick just thinking about it. And once more, I tried to banish the memory. I let it slip away. I would replace it with new ones. I wasn't even sure why I had dreamed of those things - I hadn't since I'd been here. I shook it off and tried to push the memories of that part of my life away.

When I first awoke in this apartment I had thought three things about the man who had took me in, and I knew that the second was true. I had wandered into a perfect fairy tale. Naruto had saved me. Saved me from a life that would've been sure to kill me and brought me to this wonderful… happiness. I felt so safe with him. My life before meeting this tiny family could be forgotten so easily if I would allow myself to let it go. With this little family's help I could let go, if I could just figure out how. They both had made it clear now that they wanted me to be part of their lives. Konohamaru asking me to be his mama and Naruto asking me to just be his. My heart sped up again. He wanted me to be his.

Beautiful blue eyes slid open as I gazed down at him, taking my breath away, an incredible dance of fireworks going off inside me and making me speak. "God…"

"Wow," he whispered, blinking once or twice before sitting up and kissing me gently. "This is real. It wasn't a dream." A dazzling smile lit up his eyes as he kissed me a little harder, brushing my hair from my eyes as he pulled back. "It wasn't." I didn't know I could feel so happy. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to feel as happy as I was feeling. How could I deserve something so unbelievably amazing? How could my heart even continue beating? "Merry Christmas," Naruto whispered to me softly, bronzed hand cupping my cheek while heart breaking blue gazed into my eyes lovingly, a warmth reaching out from them and settling into me, while blue, green and red from the tree danced in his eyes, giving him a beautiful glowing innocence.

Our lips met softly and I thought to myself that I would never get enough of him. Not even if I'd had a hundred lives… A thousand. I would still crave more of him. I would still need him near me to make my heart pound, to take my breath away, to look at me as though I were amazing… As though I was beautiful.

From the first night he brought me into his home we had been dancing around this, our feelings burdening us while lifting us up. The way I felt for him was set to happen, the love I felt so deeply for his child was predetermined, as if I had no other choice but to love him. To love the beautiful man before me. But then, what other choice had there been? They offered a love so pure that not even the wicked could refuse them. Not even one so undeserving as I. They took me in. They got me out of a life I hated but needed. They accepted me for me, not judging me because of my past. It was more than anyone had ever done for me in my entire life.

We both jumped as a squeal of delight sounded out from the hallway, breaking up the embarrassing thoughts that clouded my mind. I smiled and looked over my shoulder to see an adorable Konohamaru bouncing up and down in the hallway, his face not seeming large enough to hold the grin that grew bigger every second. The pile of presents, however, was ignored as he jumped into his papa's lap and covered his face in his tiny hands, peeking at me through his fingers. "Gaawa, you tiss papa." My face flared. "I saw it. I saw you tiss!" The excitement in his voice made me smile. "Now I can call you-"

"Oh, what's this?" Naruto jumped onto the pile of presents interrupting his son's adorable freak out, pulling out a brightly ribboned one and handing it to the toddler with a very obvious blush staining his golden cheeks. There was excitement from him all over again. I watched as Konohamaru opened each gift and thought of how easily he was pleased. Every gift he opened was the greatest gift to him. Nothing was too bland or boring, even the clothes he received were opened with excitement. Naruto's face crumpled into confusion as he counted out the presents, lowering the camera for the first time since Konohamaru had ripped into the first present. "Um… Did you?" An amused look erased the confusion. I nodded and Konohamaru squealed at the Disney movies he didn't have that I had wrapped together carefully. His delight made me so happy I thought I was going to be sick.

The sad remains of wrapping paper littered the floor after the three-year-old finished. I sighed and got up to go get a trash bag but a strong hand on my wrist stopped me. I glanced down at Naruto to see a large brightly wrapped gift lay in his lap. "This is from the two of us." The tiny brunet giggled happily and wiggled closer to his papa and me, managing to sit on both our laps, clearly excited about what was in the box. I grabbed the gift and shook it slightly, not that it gave me any idea, I just loved seeing the impatient but oh-so-excited look on the three-year-old's face, mimicked perfectly by his papa. I smiled and pulled the red and silver paper off of the box slowly.

The three-year-old crawled over to me excitedly. "Nee me hel' you?" he asked.

I laughed and let him pull the lid off of the plain white garment box. A soft charcoal turtle neck greeted me. I pulled it out and discovered a red scarf, gloves and black slouchy knit cap beneath it. "I wasn't exactly sure what you would want, but you don't seem to have any hats or gloves and the turtleneck… would look amazing on you." Something shiny under the red scarf caught my eye. I gently pushed it aside and heard myself give a small noise akin to a gasp. "But that… was Konohamaru's suggestion."

I lifted the heavy silver frame and felt myself shudder. It was a picture of the three of us from Naruto's birthday party. Smiling happily, Konohamaru's face squished between the blond's and mine. I didn't remember this picture being taken but judging from the somewhat uncomfortable, yet happy, surprised look on my face I don't think I was aware that it was going to be taken. "Thank you," I whispered. "This… This is…" Naruto just smiled and kissed his son on the top of his head.

"You're welcome." He smiled at me. "There are more from the party, but this is the one Konohamaru wanted to give you specifically." There were no words that I could give. Konohamaru giggled happily and kissed me on the cheek then nuzzled his papa's nose before jumping off our laps and busying himself with his gifts.

Naruto sighed with a smile on his face, standing up and began to clean the aftermath. I walked to the kitchen to start breakfast, practically floating. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. It was as if I was experiencing these holidays for the first time. Like my life before the blond and his child was just some insignificant dream.

I was wrist deep in whole grain flour when warm tanned arms wrapped around my waist. "Thank you." His deep voice whispered gruffly into my ear, setting my blood on fire. Oh, if he only knew what he was doing to me.

"For what?" I mumbled around my excitement.

He lifted his arm. The dark metal Fossil watch I'd left for him under the tree was displayed on his wrist; the perfect color to complement his bronzed skin. "Maybe this will help me be on time for once." He kissed me. "Though you've been great in that department." I smiled and he released me, pouring himself a cup of coffee before coming back to me, turning me gently by the waist. "But the best gift…" He whispered kissing me again, sliding his tongue into my all too willing mouth. My arms wrapped around him, pulling us closer together while his mouth turned me into mush, making me sorry when he pulled me away. "The best gift is just being able to kiss you."

I smiled again and tried to pull him down for another kiss but a knock on the door made us pause. Naruto heaved a sigh, gave me a quick kiss and turned to answer the persistent and frantic visitor. I gave a small smile at the flour handprints on his back and turned to my dough, trying to calm down my violently beating heart. The cheerful greetings from the door told me Kiba had arrived and, though it was early, was as loud and happy as he always was.

"Merry Christmas!" Kiba boomed walking into the kitchen carrying three oddly wrapped packages. "This one's for you, red." He smiled as I rolled my eyes at the nickname I knew I would never be rid of, and accepted the small gift. He ruffled my hair, gave a toothy grin and walked into the living room, greeting the excited Konohamaru just as enthusiastically. I smiled and looked at the gift in my hands. It was wrapped in a sheet of newspaper with twine for the ribbon, both rough and endearing. I opened it and was greeted with a robot. I wiped my hands on a towel and pulled it out of its box. It was the size of my palm and had a small clock in its chest. I smiled and pulled the clock out to set it to discover a tiny red heart painted in with the gears. I gazed at my discovery and wondered how Kiba had got this gift so spot on. The shaggy brunet made me wonder sometimes.

After the four of us had eaten, Kiba rushed us all to get ready. I took my gifts to my room and placed the robot clock and picture on my nightstand. I smiled at the first picture I'd seen of myself in years. In the picture I noticed Naruto's eyes were pointed my way. I looked closer and saw that so were Konohamaru's. My smile just grew as I turned to my dresser. The picture made me feel as though I was important to them. More important than I realized and as that thought ran through my head another one followed on its heels. Just how long had I been important to them? When had they begun to see as more than the babysitter? How long had I been so ignorant of something made so obvious now that I had a picture to point it out? I shook the thought from my head, certain that, once again, I was making something out of nothing. After pulling on a pair of dark blue skintight jeans, I donned the turtleneck. Staring at my mirror, I admired the way the gift looked on me. It fit perfectly, the dark fabric highlighting my skin, giving it a porcelain look and enhanced my eyes settled in the mass of black eyeliner. I loved the shirt for making me seem almost beautiful. Well, that and the fabric just felt so wonderfully soft against my skin.

A soft knock on the door barely pulled my attention away from the mirror. "Come in," I responded softly, tilting my head at my reflection, trying to find a flaw in my clothing. The blond stepped into my room, eyes lighting up as they caught sight of me, and a strong sexual grin tilted the corners of his mouth up. A feeling of pure warmth spread through me. The way his eyes roamed my body filled me with excitement, and put me on the edge of jumping him right in my doorway. I'm sure if Kiba hadn't been in the apartment, I would have tried, but I held myself in check, though it nearly killed me to do so. I was so captured by his face that it took me a minute to realize he was wearing black pants and a dark blue shirt. I shivered in delight. I had only seen him in light colors, nothing darker than light blue and these dark clothes made his eyes appear darker, seductive…

"It does look amazing on you." He smiled, putting his hands in his pockets and leaning back against the door, confidence oozing off him. And that just made him all the more attractive. It was almost like a little challenge his body seemed to make with anyone within eyesight. _Just try to come and get it. It's worth it if you do_. It seemed unintentional, but I wasn't sure. "I just wanted to ask you a question."

"If you think we should tell everyone about…"

"Us?" He walked over to me, capturing my lips in a quick, gentle kiss." Because I think we should. I want to tell everyone." I smiled at his excitement. "This is one of the greatest feelings I've ever felt. I can't imagine trying to keep this all in." He kissed me once more, his tongue exploring my mouth more thoroughly than ever. I responded just as passionately, my hands weaving into his golden hair. There was nothing more perfect to me. I pulled away and gazed into his eyes so full of happiness. It made my heart pound.

"I think we should wait," I whispered. His eyes clouded over with confusion. "I've never done this relationship thing before. I just think we should take it slow… Be discreet. Maybe try to keep it from Konohamaru as much as we can." Understanding pushed the confusion from his eyes. He nodded but still seemed uneasy.

"Is this payback for refusing to sleep with you last night?" he asked. I grimaced. Once again my attempt to seduce him failed spectacularly. He pretty much said there was no way he would sleep with me. It wouldn't be right. It would be illegal to sleep with me. I didn't dare mention that having a relationship with me was probably just as illegal. "Because I think that might be hitting below the belt."

I rolled my eyes. "That and this are two separate things, Naruto. I just want this to work…" He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips.

"Alright. Discreet." He made a face, making me smile again.

The question was out of my mouth before I even knew I was thinking it. "Naruto… Where's the awkwardness?"

His left eyebrow rose. "Come again?"

I elaborated. "We just decided to have this… relationship… I feel like this morning should've been… Like… How do I explain? We're comfortable with each other already. You don't hesitate to kiss me. Neither of us hesitates. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's supposed to be this… smooth."

Blue eyes filled with amusement. "And the first few months you lived here were what?" I felt the left side of my lips tilt up in a half-smile. "We've been through awkwardness. We know what we want. And I know I'm too afraid of letting you slip away to hesitate anymore. Because when I hesitate, I try to talk my way out of things and we both know how that goes." He flashed a cheesy grin at me. I smiled and our lips met one final time before he left the room

_Naruto_

I closed the door on the beautiful redhead that was testing my self-control. Those pleading teal eyes had almost made me give in last night. My body had responded so well to his touch, his beautiful eyes, if he had just kept asking… if he had just kept working his charm, I would've taken him. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I would've taken him right there in the living room in front of the tree. Again and again until both of us turn to puddles of satisfied ooze. But he'd accepted my explanation and I cursed myself for it, because, honestly, I was the only one to blame for that. I knew I couldn't deny him a second time if he tried it again. Though, I would probably be the one to start it this time. I wanted that pale body all to myself. I wanted to see if all the things I'd imagined were true.

I laughed.

They were probably even better.

I shivered and turned off my thoughts as I walked into my three-year-old's room. "Hey, little one. Are you almost ready."

He beamed up at me, struggling with a pair of dorky looking Santa socks. "Yeah. Chiba hel' me get jessed." I reached down and helped him tug on his goofy socks that were no doubt a gift from his lame, loudmouthed uncle.

"You should thank Chiba then." I smiled and looked up at my friend. I paused when I spotted a very creepy mischievous grin plastered on his face. It sent a wave of worry and grief through me because I knew, more than anyone else, that his mischievous grin meant trouble, deep trouble, usually for me. "Uh… What's up with the shit eating grin?" I asked, a little worried. Konohamaru laughed.

"Shit."

I spun around and stared at my child. "No. No. Papa didn't say that. Uh, crap, um, he just…" I floundered.

"Papa said ship Konohamaru. With a 'p'. Like Captain Hook's ship." Gaara saved me, holding the little brunet's thick winter coat up as he walked into the room. He threw me a grin that made my heart race. I gulped. It was amazing how one minute he seemed all sweet and innocent, then seemed to be screaming he could school me in the fine art of seduction.

"Oh…Ship." Konohamaru grinned up at his nanny. "Why woul' Chiba eat that?" he asked.

"I imagine he's eaten worse." The teenager smiled at my little son as he pulled his coat on, before turning and making a face at Kiba and I. "That's freaking me out." He pointed to the still smiling brunet. "Seriously." I just shrugged. He knew as much about it as I did. "I couldn't find his hat. Do you know if it's- Ah. Here it is." He pulled the little knit cap over the wild brown hair.

"Alright! Let's hit the road!" Kiba shouted through his smile.

"What's the rush?" I asked, leading us to the living room.

"I'm just hungry."

"We just ate." Gaara lifted the three-year-old as I put on my coat before handing him to me so that he could do the same. I smiled as he put on the new hat I'd gotten him and wrapped the long red scarf around his neck. I felt the sudden, crippling urge to kiss him, but held back because I knew that's what he wanted. I would give him anything he wanted if I could. It was frustrating. I had just won the ability to kiss him and now I had to sneak around to get one. I wasn't sure I liked the idea of being discreet. I sighed, and followed the antsy Inuzuka down to the car. I laughed and unlocked the vehicle while Kiba jumped around. Once my little one was all buckled in, I climbed behind the driver's seat. "Alright here we go, since someone is so eager to see his mommy." Konohamaru giggled while Kiba just stuck his tongue out at me in the rear view mirror.

We were ten minutes into the drive when my shaggy brunet-friend started in on the small talk. "So, Red, do you know how to drive?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Gaara turned to look at him in the back seat. "I just never learned."

"Yeah. In the city driving is more of a hassle unless you've got to commute a lot. I actually prefer walking myself. I walk to school and work. I actually picked my apartment because of how close it was. I would've been right in between the two but all of the available apartments didn't allow dogs. How messed up is that? I mean they allow cats, snakes and venomous spiders, but they throw a fit about a puppy. You know, for such a dog friendly city, it sure is a pain in the a- elbow to find a rental that will let you have one. I just keep my car to get the ladies." I laughed at the rant I'd heard so many times before. "Anyway. What is it you want to do? Like career wise?"

Gaara wrinkled his nose and turned the question back onto the oddly talkative Kiba. "What is it that you do?"

"Me? Oh. I work at a law firm."

The redhead snorted. "Really?"

"Just as a runner."

"Runner?"

"Errand boy."

"Ah." Gaara snort, making my heart race. "Law didn't seem like your cup of tea.

"Oh god. I thought about studying law, but it's a way boring subject, to me anyway."

"So what are you studying?"

"I'm studying to be a nurse."

Teal eyes danced in amusement. "A nurse?"

"Yeah? So what? Nursing is good profession. And there are a lot of guys working as nurses."

"No no. That's not it. It's just I can't imagine your bedside manner. Better stay away from patients with heart conditions." I cracked up, inciting Konohamaru's lifting twinkle.

"I hate you guys." Kiba mumbled as it died down.

I smiled. "What's with all the small talk?" I asked, scratching my cheek, fighting the urge to reach over and grab a pale, slender hand.

"Oh, you know. I was just wanting to know more about the kid who's spending a lot of time with my two favorite guys."

"What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. Nothing." Silence spread through the car, making the redhead visibly relax. We were twenty minutes from our destination when Kiba decided to pipe up again.

"Soooooooo… Konohamaru tells me you two were kissing this morning." Startled, I swerved slightly. Gaara gasped and I righted us easily, thankful no one else was on the highway for miles.

"They tiss a LOT." The three-year-old giggled, kicking his feet under the blanket draped over his lap. His little brown eyes caught mine in the rear view mirror, his childish joy at catching the two of us outweighed by his happiness.

"Oh-ho ho. A lot." Kiba burst out laughing.

"Well that explains the smile…" I muttered, somewhat happy the dog was out of the kennel.

"Yeah! In lee room and in the kishin!" My child exclaimed with excitement. I guess he wasn't as preoccupied as I had thought. Kiba's laugh just grew louder. I smiled and glanced over at Gaara. He bit his lip and looked at me with worry in his perfect teal eyes, hand reaching over to grab mine. I smiled and squeezed his chilly fingers gently. It worried me a bit that I couldn't tell how he felt about Kiba being in on the secret. Discreet was now out of the question with my talkative best friend in on it. It looked like he knew it, but was struggling to accept it.

"Awesome." Kiba announced as his laughter died down. "I can't wait to tell Hinata. She's gonna be ecstatic. She's been hoping that this would happen soon, even though she refused to join in the pool, she was absolutely positive that you two were going to get together. I'm happy for you, bro."

I sighed. Gaara wanted to keep it quiet… "Hey, wait a minute. You can't tell anyone."

"What?"

"I'm serious, Kiba. We want to wait. Be discreet." I grimaced at the word and pulled onto the side road that would take us to Kiba's mom's place, glancing at my friend's shocked face.

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Gaara answered him.

"Fine. Whatever," he replied grumpily.

"That goes for you too, Konohamaru. No more telling anyone." He nodded with a mad look on his face and stopped wiggling around. We drove down the bumpy road slowly in silence before something that Kiba said jumped back to the front of my mind. "Wait. What pool?"

"Oops."

"You guys were seriously betting on my love life?" I asked, somewhat shocked, mostly impressed. Usually I was the one who had to coerce everyone to bet on something.

"Well…I… Whatever. You used to do it to us all the time." I laughed and focused fully on the road before us. As soon as we got in sight of the house I kissed Gaara's hand and let it go.

He smiled at me as I pulled to a stop. I returned it, trying to control my feelings. I still wanted to tell everyone right away. One of the best things to happen to me and I had to keep it all to myself. It just didn't seem right. Didn't seem fair. Teal eyes gazed at me and I felt as if he understood what I was thinking, but it still wasn't going to change his mind. We all got out; Gaara grabbing the still mad-faced little one while I grabbed the gifts from the back.

"So I take it all holidays are spent here," Gaara stated walking up to the porch.

"Yup. All of us are here every holiday. No matter how bad the roads are. Been that way since I was young." I smiled and followed Kiba inside.

Tsunade greeted us happily on her way out to have a cigarette, obviously happy to see Gaara had come along. "There's the adorable redhead! You are just so beautiful!" She gushed, obviously a little tipsy. "I'm so glad you're here. We don't know you all that well, but we got you a gift, hoping you'd be here with our handsome boys." She smiled and pulled Konohamaru from Gaara's arms and squished him to her chest while kissing his cheek. The busty blonde set the toddler down and pulled the redhead into her arms as well. "Now you be real good to them," she mumbled drunkenly, released him, planted a liquor stained kiss on my cheek and waltzed out the door, humming merrily to herself.

"Okay…That was weird," I announced, taking my trio's coats and hanging them on the coat rack made of antlers before leading the way into the living room where everyone else was seated, pushing my slight jealousy out of my head. Jiraiya boomed with laughter as we walked into the spacious, cozy room. The air was buzzing with happiness and we were enveloped with warmth. I would never get used to my family. And I was grateful for every second.

_Garaa  
_

We were received warmly. Everyone glad that we were there. Everyone just happy to be together. I was almost jealous for not having the same thing growing up, but I knew if I had, there was no way I'd be here today. I smiled at the blond man, who's eyes were glued to me, a smile tugging his lips up whenever he caught my eye, making my breath leave in a hurry and my heart jump. I never thought I'd be thankful for a shitty childhood. Tsume and Hana received me with smiles, both crushing me with hugs. Jiraiya thumping me on the back hard enough to make me stagger slightly. There was a warm feeling in the air that made a smile of contentment settle on my lips. Konohamaru was the happiest in the room, though he'd occasionally look over at his papa and make a face. He bounced around the room, wanting to be held by everyone, wanting everyone to smile and kiss him. And everyone complied without hesitation. This was what Christmas was about.

I listened to stories of Christmases past, everybody shouting to be heard over everyone else. I laughed softly at each one. Most were of Naruto and Kiba's mischievous adventures. Naruto wrinkled his nose at me with a grin. I smiled at him and chuckled under my breath when he blushed, then turned my attention back to the white-haired man telling another wild story. "…Even with both their faces covered with ink they both denied it! When Minato asked them where it'd come from, Naruto made up an elaborate tale about an octopus that Kiba just agreed to!" I laughed and took another sip of the cider in my cup.

Tsume began telling another tale when I spotted Naruto's subtle signal. I tilted my head in question and he pointed slightly with his cup to the dining room. I smiled and nodded. He got up and smirked as he disappeared into the hallway. I counted to fifteen before standing without drawing attention to myself and slipped into the dining room. The beautiful blue-eyed god was waiting for me in the kitchen doorway. His seductive grin made my heart pound and my mind cloud over. His hand shot out and pulled me into his arms, taking my breath away. "We can't," I whispered against my will. I knew it needed to be said but I still didn't want to.

"Who's going to see?" His breath splashed over my face, making my toes curl in delight. The thought of getting caught was exciting. I shook my head clear. I had slept with many people, both men and women had lain with me in the most intimate way, despite that, I was still shaken by Naruto's simple glance. He made everything seem so new. A kiss was no longer just a kiss, it was a beautiful gift that he gave to me. It made me feel innocent, like no one existed before him. To me, in that moment, no one did. I stood on my tiptoes and closed the distance between our lips without second thought. Electricity flowed through me at the simple contact and my arms wrapped around his neck while stronger arms pulled me closer at the waist. I was so lost in this feeling I almost didn't notice my feet leave the ground entirely. His fingers pushed into the small of my back, making my excitement grow uncontrollably. He growled quietly and I had to stifle the moan that it incited. I wove my fingers into his silky blond hair and pulled him as close as I could, opening my mouth to his eager tongue. His fingers found their way inside my shirt, lighting a fire on the skin of my back that I knew only he could extinguish. I needed more. I wanted more. He was making a monster out of me. I let him dominate me in a sweet almost possessive way, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip, sucking on my tongue, exploring my mouth as far as his tongue could reach. I never knew how amazing a kiss could be. My feet met the floor again, my shirt was slowly pulled down, that sweet intoxicating mouth left mine, but the excitement refuse to budge. Deep blue eyes gazed into mine so full of emotion, his forehead resting against mine. I needed him to always look at me like that. If he ever stopped looking at me like I was something so amazing it took his breath away, I would almost certainly die. I tilted my face up to capture my newfound drug again.

"Don't stop on our account." I froze. Naruto went rigid, shock wiped away the emotion in his eyes before they squeezed shut.

"Fuck," I whispered under my breath and turned to see the entire gathering staring at us from the dining room entrance. The faces were all smiling, but the smile that caught my eye was Konohamaru's. The little boy's smile was so sweet and full of unabashed happiness that it took my breath away. Hana and Kiba laughed, Tsume whooped, Tsunade and Jiraiya just smiled at us with warm eyes.

"Finally!" The Inuzuka woman exclaimed together. I smiled at my feet and Naruto's warm hand grabbed mine. It seemed like keeping it a secret was shot.

"You know it's kind of suspicious when two people so obviously hiding feelings for each other disappear for five minutes." Jiraiya laughed, his hand ruffling Naruto's golden hair before reaching down to pat me on the shoulder.

"Their plan was to hide it from everyone." Kiba announced.

"You knew and didn't say anything?" His mother turned on him, swatting him in the leg.

"Hey! Ouch, mom! Konohamaru's the one who told _me_! Get after _him_!" I laughed lowly and covered my eyes with my hand momentarily. I had had a feeling that the idea was doomed from the start. I just thought we could keep it under wraps for a little longer, though. I looked up at the man who had completely captured me and was met with eyes of joy.

"I guess that plan is shot to hell," Naruto mumbled, a blush covering his cheeks as he gazed down at me, though he didn't seem too disappointed about it. And, not surprisingly, neither was I.

.:.:.:.:.

"Take care of my boys," Tsunade whispered to me again when she hugged me goodbye. "I'm glad they found you." I smiled up at the caring woman and lifted Konohamaru. His little hands clung to my coat and he smiled at his Godmother as she kissed his cheek. I looked over at the handsome blond and was met with a smile. We said our goodbyes, left the warm house and headed to the car.

They stood on the porch and watched us go, waving until they were out of sight. I had longed for that kind of family when I was younger. I watched while other kids were loved by those around them, and I envied the kids who complained about curfews, rules, groundings and unreasonable cell phone rules. I wanted to scream at those who seemed so ungrateful for what they had. I would've given my soul for that. I wanted to scream at them, make them see that life could be so much worse. That they could've been in my shoes, being paid for pretend love. And now it seemed as if I'd been accepted into the type of family I had envied.

I glanced into the backseat. Konohamaru was asleep, a smile on his lips. I sighed with contentment. I wanted to open up. I needed to. He had told me his story. I wanted to tell him mine. I knew, like all the others, that he was curious about where I'd come from and how I had ended up where I did. So I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.

"My mother was my world." I saw Naruto glance at me but I stared straight ahead, watching the snow hit the windshield. "My father was always cold to us children. I don't think it was on purpose. He was always busy with work. He'd come home from work and immediately closed himself in his study. But my mother… She always had time for us. My sister, brother and I. I was the youngest, the baby, so she doted on me. She would never turn us away like father would. If we talked, she would listen earnestly and eagerly. She spent hours teaching me how to cook, sew, and read. She knew how to do everything and she wanted to teach me all she knew. She was amazing. I can't remember a time she was cross at us, though I'm sure there were times that she was, but I can't recall anything but her smiling face… Her warm arms were always open for us to jump into. When I was on the streets… just thinking of her could warm me, make me keep going when I felt as though I were about to die.

"Though father rarely made time for us kids, he would dote on my mother. Nothing was too good for her. His eyes would soften just by looking at her, his voice would become a loving whisper. I remember being jealous of that. I remember thinking why he couldn't love us like that." My hands clasped together tightly. "So, when she died… He was crushed, obliterated… and a monster was left in his place."

I took a deep breath and stared at my white knuckles. "I was at home sick when she was killed… Father told me over and over how it was my fault. If I hadn't been sick, she would never have left for medicine, she never would've been in that store, she would've never been murdered. It was my fault she was gone. He screamed those words in my face over and over as soon as the shock wore off. He resented all of us kids. Tamari ignored it the best she could, Kankuro refused to take it to heart and I… I was devastated. I believed him. It _was _my fault. If I had just gone to school she would still be with us. Father began to drink and the monster was born. The three of us were just children, we couldn't fight off a fully grown man. With regularity we were beaten for the littlest things. I got the worst of it, though, my siblings tried their best to save me. But we were kids. Kids. I ran away a few months before I turned fourteen. I had put up with it for almost four years, but I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want Tamari or Kankuro to hate me for killing mom. I had to get away. If I were gone, the hate in father would die… They would be safe. That's what I believed anyway. I hopped on the first train out of there and let it carry me here.

"The money that used to just pour out of my mom's purse reached its end quickly and didn't refill like I'd remembered it used to. It ran out in less than a month. I tried staying at shelters but all wanted to contact my father and I couldn't just tell them what he'd done to me when I believed that I was a murderer. So they were ruled out rather quickly. People always approached me and each time I had to run away. They couldn't make me go back. Within two months I understood that I had to make the money reappear in my mother's wallet myself. And the woman approached me… My first sexual encounter… I was a child. A sheltered one at that. I didn't know anything about sex or the value of a dollar, but I caught on quickly."

"I died a little with each touch… And I felt I deserved everything I got. I felt it was my punishment for the death on my hands." I knew I couldn't go on. Even if I had wanted to, I knew I could never tell him about all the things I'd went through. A strong warm hand grabbed mine, making me release the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "I'm not sorry, though," I whispered, brushing my lips against the back of his hand. "We all have to go through something in our lives. I feel no different from anyone else anymore. It wasn't my fault. She died by someone else's hands. It took a long time, but I finally realized that… After I met you."

Naruto pulled up to a red light and leaned in to kiss me. "You are strong person. You are amazing," he whispered against my lips. I took a deep breath and smiled. "Thank you for telling me." The ride home was a silent one after that and I felt more at peace now that I'd gotten that off my chest. I'd never trusted anyone enough to tell them anything about my past, but with Naruto I felt a peace I never knew existed. And life looked brighter than it ever had before.

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**So, this chapter introduces Sai. I love Sai. He's kind of important in Gaara's life in this story. Or was anyway. It seems like nothing too major was accomplished in this chapter though, and I'm kinda sorry about that, but that's how it goes. Hahaha! The next chapter is almost done, so no more super long breaks I suppose. Anyway. Hope you like the chapter, loves. **

** Review please.  
**


	12. Chapter Twelve

__**Please**, **no body hate me. Life is hecktic and I just fail as a writer. **

**Thanks so much to every reviewer this story has. You all make me try harder and want to be better. Every reviewer makes my day. Thank you so much. Just have faith in me. No matter what happens this story will be finished.  
**

**Just a little heads up, this chapter is all about, well, nothing but almost lovin's really. If you're looking for anything else, I have pretty much failed you. I know after a year or so you'd want more than this, but this is all I got. And it's right on track with my outline for this story so... Why did it take so long to write? Because I fail. Ha. The M rating will be earned in this chapter...**

**Unbeta'd. Please forgive me. Haha!  
**

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**Chapter Twelve  
**

_Gaara_

"I don't understand why." Naruto glanced over at me as he set the bottle of orange juice on the counter. I rolled my eyes and turned away. As my birthday drew closer and closer this argument seemed to be popping up every few hours. I heaved a sigh and took a step towards the living room. Strong arms pulled me back and, despite my anger, my heart leapt with excitement. I swallowed the urge to growl as even that irritated me. A strong nose nuzzled my ear and I fought the shudder that wanted to roll down my back. "Talk to me, babe." My knees came together as my legs went weak from the sensation of his warm breath washing over my skin. I spun around in the muscular arms that had wrapped around my rib cage, the lowest point on my body my blonds arms could rest comfortably while we were standing.

The smug look on his face told me that he knew exactly what he was doing to my body. "Let me go." I smiled sweetly and extracted myself from his arms, nearly laughing at his dumbfounded expression. Over the few weeks we'd grown as a couple I hadn't lost that giddy virgin school girl feeling from his touch, but I was finding ways to not lose myself completely while arguing with him. Unfortunately, it always involved me removing myself from his reach. "Just because I don't want to."

He smirked and leaned back on the counter. "That's not exactly a reason."

I snorted. "Yes it is."

He lifted his glass and took a drink, unaware how erotic his throat looked to me at that moment. I was still staring as he set the glass back down, lost in a fantasy of biting and licking that tanned neck and the sounds that would escape from him as I did so. "Gaara?"

I shook myself awake. "Hm?"

"I said, if you give me a good reason, I will drop the subject completely." He smiled, drawing me into his arms once more. "You'll never hear me mention it again." His lips brushed my cheek, rubbing his nose against mine, my heart jumping, my throat wanting to let loose a gasp from the tone of his voice. I was putty in his strong, capable hands. And apparently it was an ill-kept secret judging by the grin on his face.

"I'm scared." I murmured, unable to stop myself.

"Of what?" His breath whispered over my skin and my arms exploded in goose bumps.

"I don't know. I just know that I'm scared." My eyelids fluttered, willing him to kiss me. He seemed in tune to my thoughts, for as soon as it ran through my mind, he captured my lips and thoughts ceased to be. I opened my mouth to his tongue answered the call immediately. Wasn't I angry a moment ago? I thought briefly before my mind went blank again. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck and I turned my head, wrapping my arms around his neck, letting him lift me into his arms, my body giving a small spasm as I felt his shoulders flex as he did so. "Naruto." I gasped.

"Gaara." He moaned in answer to my call, laying me down on my bed, making me wonder briefly how he'd gotten us into my room so fast. The bed made no sound as we moved across it, save for the gentle rustling of the comforter against the sheets and our skin. A deep growl sounded from Naruto's throat, making my body react instantly. How he could make me react like that with such odd sounds worried me a bit, but I didn't have time to think. I didn't want to think at all. A strong, warm hand had mine captured above my head. My body arched against the other roaming across my body. I heard a soft moan escape my lips and blushed, instantly embarrassed. I used to use sex as a way to earn a living and here he was making me make sounds like a virgin.

He grinned down at me, his blue eyes dancing, before capturing my lips again. I quivered. His tongue invaded my mouth, warming every inch that he could reach with the slick muscle, effectively turning mine into putty. I bit down softly on the maddening pink muscle, earning a groan of pure bliss. He pulled away, biting my bottom lip on the way. I licked the 'wound' and watched his eyes follow my tongue. I laughed lightly, amused at how easy it was to make that dumb-founded but agonizingly adorable look appear on his face.

He began to pull away. I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Where do you think you're going?" I growled, glaring at the object of my desire.

He closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. "Gaara, we've been through this." He sat up, pretty much overruling the strength of my legs and pulling me into an odd pose, forgetting that he was the one who had put us here in the first place. I tore my legs away from him and sat up as well. He watched me carefully, eyes gliding down my body. I smirked. "Don't tempt me."

"Because you'll give in?"

"Yes." Excitement ran through me. "And I'd hate myself for it." I felt my smirk drop as I was filled with hurt. That stung quite a bit. "I'd feel like I bullied you into it."

"Bully me into it?" I shot him a look. "That makes complete sense."

He pulled me back into his arms, brushing a hand across my face. "Don't look at me like that." He whispered. My hands wove into golden hair and yanked him down, my mouth latching onto his, tongue invading his mouth. Blue eyes went wide at my sudden aggression, making me smile, willing the blond to touch me with his fingertips once more.

He answered with an almost possessive touch that made me blossom under him, sounds I had never made escaping my mouth so softly. "Oh god, Gaara." He moaned as his hands lifted my shirt and his mouth found my nipple, making me writhe under his touch. My hands flitted about, unable to find a place to lie still. My hips ground up against him, seeking relief from the pressure building in my pants. A strong, long fingered hand reached down the stroke me through the fabric.

"Naruto… Oh, please, please touch me." I begged without shame, lifting my leg to rub against the large cock I felt straining against his jeans. His fingers tore the zipper of my pants down and ripped the button open while his mouth ravaged mine once more, swallowing every moan I had to offer, giving me his to absorb. His fingers danced on the hem of my boxers, my hips bucking to encourage the movement. Time slowed as his fingers finally slipped down the elastic inching to the place I ached with all my being for him to touch.

"Papa? Gaawa? Where is you?" We froze, his hand centimeters from my hardened member, a moan locked in my throat, a blush staining my face. In an instant we were up off the bed, pulling clothes back to their rightful places, buttoning pants and hands running through hair as I finally emerged from behind the closed door, my body completely composed. I smiled as I caught sight of the cubby little hands rubbing tired eyes from his papa's bedroom. I walked over and scooped him up. He nuzzled my chest affectionately.

"How was your nap?" I asked placing him on the floor in the living room in front of his toy chest.

He looked up at me with is big chocolate eyes, traces of sleep still gathered in the corners. "Ma- Gaawa. I is too ol' for naps now." He stated.

I felt a smile tug my lips but held my face in a serious expression. "Oh? When did you decide that?"

He tugged on the ear of a stuffed Dumbo. "Yeserday. I is a big boy now. I no need naps."

His speech still tugged on my heart as he said the words. "Alright. But you know, I still take naps."

His cubby little fingers released the ear he was holding onto and the toy fell to the floor. "Weally?"

"Oh yes. Did you know naps make you bigger and stronger? They also help you become smarter." He looked down at his lap and seemed to digest this.

"Bigger den papa?" He asked, climbing onto my lap.

I swallowed my laughter. "Yes. Much bigger."

"Yup. Set your standards high, baby boy. I'm essentially a mountain of awesome." Naruto yawned out, finally making an appearance, looking very flustered which made me grin. Blue eyes locked onto mine before a grin spread out, making my heart pound in response. He walked over to the two of us, a strong warm hand pressing gently into the small of my back while the other ruffled his child's hair playfully. The three year old jabbered away without a care, nestling further into my arms. My breath caught at the sight I knew we must be. It warmed my heart. I made my spirit lift. I couldn't even begin to put into words what I was feeling.

"Go?" The three year old suddenly asked with a huge smile on his face. I released my hold on him and watched him run away towards his bedroom, pulling myself to my feet.

Naruto just chuckled behind me. I grinned, but it faltered as the laugh just grew louder and louder until he was suddenly leaning onto me for support. I sighed and asked him just what was so funny. "I'm just not sure I'll be able to correct him if he calls you mama again." I rolled my eyes and kneed him in the thigh, walking to the kitchen to start lunch while the blond man reeled himself back in and followed me. I started pulling out the ingredients for papusas when the blue eyed man heaved a heavy sigh and wrapped his arms around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder, warm breath spilling across my neck while I measured out the mesa. "I'm not ready for a bunch of brats running around. I've been trying to prepare myself since the day after Christmas but it's not working. I like kids and all but feeding them sugar and letting them run hog wild around your house? Someone wrong in the head must have decided that that was okay."

"You're a whiney little thing, aren't you?"

He laughed and kissed my cheek. "It's all part of my charm." I laughed lowly at that. He was right of course, but it was only true because I knew he would whine then get excited when the actual event came. "I can't believe he's already turning four. Four years old. It seems like yesterday I watched him through a sheet of glass, sleeping like the world was perfect though he'd just arrived and he still had that new baby red that made him look like a little demon baby. Where does the time go? Whoa! Hey baby." I felt Naruto's weight move away from me. The three year old latched onto my legs and locked into a death grip. I smiled down at him, lifted him up and set him on the counter. He giggled happily as I gave him the masher and set the bowl of beans next to him.

I watched him mash the beans happily while I stirred the water into the mesa with my fingertips. "Your papa's starting to sound like an old man." I mock whispered.

"Hey."

"Papa old."

"Oi!" I laughed as the blond started grumbling about bratty red heads and traitorous three year olds, wrapping his arms around my waist again. I rolled the dough into balls and helped Konohamaru finish mashing beans with the blond still latched to me. Flattening the dough balls with my hands, I scooped the beans into the center and wrapped it expertly. Naruto finally released his hold on me and pulled out the pan and began heating a thin amount of oil on the surface. The three of us work as a team, me preparing, Naruto lightly frying and Konohamaru mostly eating. The two Uzamaki's talking back and forth while I just listened to their cheerful banter.

"Well, what do you want for your birthday?" I asked we sat down at the table for lunch.

The three year old looked up at me with a strange look in his eyes, a look that seemed far too old for someone so young and suddenly, I felt very apprehensive about his answer. Big brown eyes lowered to his plate before a grin broke out across his face. "Puppy!"

Naruto groaned. "Whaaaat?"

I let out an uneasy laugh. "A puppy?"

"Yeah!"

"You're not allowed to hang out with Kiba anymore." Naruto growled, biting into his papusa.

"Chiba no say it. I wan' a puppy. Chute little puppy." The three year old explained, playing with the food on his plate, mashing it into the salsa before scooping it up with his fingers. "An Mogi says puppy love is tha bestest."

Naruto sighed. "Yes. It is, but we can't have one right now. We don't have the room for a puppy."

I smirked and watched the two, wondering if Naruto had always talked to Konohamaru as if he were years older and if it had something to do with the child's obvious ability to understand better then others his age. "But why? Is not fair, papa." The blond just shook his head and sighed. The little brunet wouldn't give this up that easily. "Kitty den? I has a kitty peas den?"

"I don't know if you're ready for a cat, kiddo."

"Peas! Peas, papa! I wan a aminal to love."

_Naruto_

I'd lost control. I'd lost it so thoroughly and enjoyed every single second of it. The feel of that skin under my hands. The sounds that poured out of his mouth… I couldn't help myself after he yanked me down. I wanted nothing more than to make him mine, to mark him all over. "Naruto?"

"Yeah, babe?" The way his body arched up to meet my hands.

"What do you think?" That velvet voice purred and I felt my body responding.

"Yeah." I murmured wishing those clothes would just vanish.

"Then you should talk to Kiba about it."

"What?"

"About the dog…? Are you even listening to me?" The vision suddenly disappeared and I realized I was sitting at the table with a plate of barely touched food in front of me. Gaara stood at the sink, turned towards me, hands covered in soap. I got up from the table and carried my plate to the counter, rewinding my mind, trying to figure out what was going on.

"What?" I asked again, digging into my impressive vocabulary.

"The puppy for Konohamaru?"

I sighed, still trying to get the memory of what had almost happened out of my head, trying not to wish we hadn't been interrupted. "I know. I'd really like to indulge him but I just don't know."

"Well, think on it some more. He really wants one."

I wrapped the remnants of my lunch in foil and stuck it in the fridge. "We shouldn't always give him what he wants."

"You have a point." He conceded.

"But he's spoiled anyway." I smiled and put my dish in the soapy water, wrapping my arms around him. "Now, back to the license issue, you so artfully dodged earlier."

He snorted. "Yeah. That was all me. And I thought you said you weren't going to say any more about it?" He nudged me away from him with his hip.

"Yeah, but I just think it's important."

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because he wants you to have some kind of normalcy in your life." An angry voice growled from the door way. I peeked over my shoulder, unwilling to release my hold on the redhead. Dark eyes skimmed over me, warming for a moment then turning their usual brooding bored.

"Uh, hey Sasuke. Where'd you come from?" I asked.

"The door." He retorted. "Konohamaru let me."

I glanced down to see my three year old glancing up at me guiltily. "What did I say about opening the door?" I asked him sternly, my heart giving a little tug as tears filled his big eyes.

"Bu' you didn' hear it." He mumbled quietly.

"Then what should you have done?" I asked, a million headlines of missing children flashing behind my eyes in a second, fear making me stagger.

"Come get you."

"That's right. I think you should go think about what you did." I answered, finally letting Gaara go as my little one sulked to his room, dragging his feet. I turned to my red head. "Do you mind if I step out for a moment?" I asked when I heard him throw himself onto his bed.

He gave me a slight smile and nodded. "Go ahead." I brushed a kiss to his forehead and headed towards my friend, giving him a grin. He followed me to the door and as soon as it shut he began to chuckle.

"So it's safe to assume it's going well." He asked.

I beamed back at him. "You could say that." We reached the street quickly, Kiba pushing himself off the wall as we walked out. "So how's it going?" I asked, suddenly giddy.

"Pretty good. I passed that exam I've been dreading. Almost fucked it up when they brought out the need-"

"Not that." I interrupted. "The party, you idiot."

"Oh yeah. Pretty good. Ino's already invited everyone and she and Hinata are working on everything else. They're too excited to let me help at all." The brunet answered, blowing into his hands to warm them against the frigid air.

"Awesome." I bounced in place. "I can't wait."

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah. Then you'll get laid."

I punched him in the arm. "Oi. Go fuck yourself."

"Whatever." He replied. "I actually came over for a second reason. If you'll quit bouncing around, I think we should discuss it."

His tone filled me with a sense of dread. "What?" I asked, squirming slightly.

"Someone's looking for him."

My heart fell. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Look, I know you're going to be mad, but it's done and over with." I opened my mouth to protest, knowing already what he had done. He held up his hand and continued before I could say a word. "I just had to know. While I was doing a background check, the first thing that popped up was a missing child report. The picture actually doesn't look much like him if that'll calm you down. But you should know that he was reported missing. A girl, his sister from what I've learned, is frantically looking for him. If he hadn't run so far, I think she might've found him. Her name is Tamari." He pushed a scrap of paper into my hands and folded my fingers around it. "I called her." Panic pierced me, the story of his life rushing back to me. "I got her answering machine. Don't worry. I was going to play it off as a wrong number from a restricted line. Nothing will lead them here to him. But at the end of the recording, she pleads for him to come home or any information that will bring him home."

"Sasuke… I…" I wanted to tell him I would never let him go back to that abuse but from the look in his face I knew he already knew somehow.

"Just be careful. Alright?" He asked, his normally unfeeling eyes pleading with me.

I nodded feeling numb. "Okay."

Kiba's eyes were wide as Sasuke turned to leave. "Keep that number. Someday, he just might want to reach back out to them."

Sasuke climbed into his car and drove off. My shaggy friend and I stood there dumbly, watching as his car disappeared around the corner. "Shit…"

"Very aptly put." I murmured and turned back to go inside. Wondering how a quick errand had turned so devastating so quickly. I knew I had to tell Gaara about the exchange, about his sister, but I feared what he would do if he thought I was digging around in his past. "Come say hi, dog breath." I muttered and started up the stairs, a feeling of dread settling in my stomach.

_Gaara_

"Naruto?" I asked again, lifting the plates from the counter. The blond continued to stare at the cake as if I hadn't even been talking. For a week he'd been like this, ever since he had gone off with Sasuke and came back with Kiba. He'd be fine, laughing, smile and then, without warning, he'd just stare into space or at me with a fear in his eyes that would take my breath away and fill me with fear. "Naruto!" I practically shouted.

He jolted out of it and turned to me, the corners of his mouth folding into a wide, warm, genuine smile. "Yeah?"

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked, stuffing the ice cream back into the freezer.

"Golden. Why?" He asked.

I didn't look at him as I turned for the juice bottles left on the counter. "You just seem out of it." I fumbled the words.

"Yeah, well, we did just have a crap load of toddlers screaming in this tiny place for four hours. If I wasn't out of it I'd think something was wrong with me." He laughed and covered the cake, shoving it into the fridge before gathering me into his arms, covering my face with kisses. I smiled and let him, loving every minute of the affection he was pouring onto me. Then he reached my mouth and I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. There was a sad quality to it, tainting the kiss… almost as if he was saying goodbye. He pulled back and stared at me, those crystal blue eyes so hard to read. "Now I seem to recall someone who became so frazzled he had to excuse himself to become a recluse in his room for ten minutes."

I rolled my eyes and pulled away from him. "Yeah, yeah." He laughed and captured my mouth again. I relaxed into him, pushing the fear that he was hiding something from me to the farthest corner of my mind.

"Alright now slowly let off the clutch while pressing the gas." Naruto explained calmly while my heart continued to try and jump out of my chest. I was too preoccupied with all the petals to even wonder how he'd even convinced me to do this. "You've got this. I know you do." He smiled and gently squeezed my arm. I nodded and tried again. So far I'd gotten us ten feet and killed it four times. Intense panic flooded me as the car roared and we sped off.

"I did it!" I squeaked, terrified and exuberant all at once.

"Shift to second." I jammed the stick down and the engine quieted a bit before beginning to roar again. "Third." It felt like we'd been out here for hours, Konohamaru safely away, hanging out with Kiba and his family as Naruto beat Gandhi in patience trying to teach me how to drive. "You're doing just fine." He beamed at me. "Now bring it to a stop and start over."

My smile fell a bit. "What?"

"You've got to get used to taking off."

"They make automatics so you don't have to get used to it." I muttered.

He chuckled. "Yeah, but you don't feel as cool."

I rolled my eyes and pulled us onto the side of the road. "What's the urgency here? I just got it yesterday."

"Just go." He laughed.

I put the car back into first and pressed on the gas and released the clutch. The car sputtered and died. "Mother fucker." I growled and tried again. We were out in the fields for hours and still Naruto never lost his cool, just calmly telling me to try again. After five hours I finally had a good handle on it and after stopping and starting seventeen times in a row without killing the dumb car, the blond finally announced we should turn back.

As I turned the car around, Naruto's warm hand reached down and covered mine on the gear stick, thumb making gentle circles. I glanced over at him, struck by the look he was giving me. "Pull over." He whispered and I obeyed. Once the car came to a full stop, I turned to look at him. He reached over and cupped my face. "Happy birthday, my dear Gaara." He whispered and pulled me closer to kiss me. I melted under his touch, his tongue flicking across my lips making me part my lips and moan. His teeth nipped my lip and my body lurched forward only to be yanked back by the seatbelt.

"Geez." I murmured, face on fire, feeling like an idiot. Naruto just smiled and told me to start driving again. We were driving for almost twenty minutes when something occurred to me. "How did you know it was my birthday?" I asked.

The blonds laughter filled the car. "Don't you remember? That first night that you came to us I found your wallet. I looked in there for an emergency contact but I only found your ID. Your birthday is on there."

"And you remembered?" I asked astonished.

"Yeah." His hand reached up and stroked my cheek. "I remember anything that has to do with you, Gaara." My face filled with heat and my heart began to pound like crazy. "Yeah… Uh. That was really corny and I'm going to ask that you pretend I didn't just make myself sound like a sixteen-year-old girl." I laughed and leaned back in the seat, loving every detail in my life for the first time in a long time.

"I can carry him."

"Nope. I got it." Naruto smiled and hoisted the jabbering four year old up.

I smiled. "Then let me grab the-"

"No siree. I got it. Just unlock the door, babe." I laughed and led the way up the so familiar stair that led to home. "It's your birthday. You get to do minimal work." The blond hummed the entire way up the stairs, his mood so bright it was infectious. His dark mood was gone and he seemed so at peace I felt as if everything was going to be alright. That I'd found the place where I belonged. A home where I was wanted. "Quick. Open the door. Just knowing that he's four is making him heavier than a bag of cement." Naruto grunted.

I laughed again and opened the door, sliding into the apartment and slipping my coat off as the blond set his son down and pulled his coat and hat off. The three year old ran into the dark house chattering happily. I followed after him, reaching for the living room light switch. The light clicked to life and I fell to the floor as the crowd in the living room shouted "Happy birthday!"

_Naruto_

"Shit!" I caught my red head as he fell to the ground. Ino and Hinata were the first ones to respond, rushing forward as I stabilized my footing and held Gaara's light weight easily.

"Is he okay?" Hinata asked as Kiba rushed forward and grabbed the red heads wrist.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He gasped, finally opening his eyes and I let out a breath I hadn't meant to hold. He started laughing in my arms and my heart finally restarted. "Oh my god. You guys scared the crap out of me…"

"Surprise!" Ino shouted happily.

"I'm so sorry." Hinata managed to say before bursting into soft twinkling laughter. Kiba's deep chuckle joined hers before the rest of the room erupted, realizing the red head was just fine.

He turned his head and glared at me playfully. I smiled sheepishly. "I wouldn't have suggested it if I thought that's how you were going to react." Gaara laughed then, sending butterflies a flutter in my stomach. Even though I could call him mine, that laugh still made me so giddy it was shameful.

"You su'pised?" Konohamaru bounced at our feet, giggling happily.

"Yes. Very." Gaara smiled at my little one, hugging him tightly. I never felt so complete as I did in that moment.

Faces I knew Gaara barely knew were crowded in my living room and he smiled and thanked them all, a smile never leaving his face, a gentle look on his face that made my fear from before seem dumb and unfounded. This was his home. In my mind he belonged here with us, all of us who loved him. But I knew in my heart he had to be told about what Sasuke had found. I just didn't know how to tell him. He held Konohamaru as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him and I felt that even if he were to leave us to go back to his sister, he would come back to us, because from the look on his face I could tell he knew he belonged here with us… with me. And in that moment I knew that I loved him. Sure, I'd come to the realization I needed him, wanted him, longed for him to be mine in every possible way, but suddenly I knew I loved him.

"You're staring, idiot."

I turned to the black haired male at my side and smile. "How can I not?" I asked, turning back to the eighteen-year-old, surrounded by the friends I'd grown up with.

"You're such a girl."

"Hey. Go fuck yourself." I beamed, content with all that I had in life.

"Don't do it!" Tenten shouted, making Gaara laugh from his seat on the sofa beside Hinata and Ino. I felt a bit salty that the two were dominating his time and attention. I laughed and willed him to look my way, thrilled when he did, sending a gentle smile my way. I winked at him and turned back to my dumb friends who had, without a single drop of alcohol, decided to have a hand stand competition. Kiba, Sasuke and Lee were the last ones standing, Lee being the only one who didn't seem to be struggling, Sasuke still keep his cool but kept grunting, and Kiba looking as if he were dying. For the past thirty seconds the shaggy brunet had been shifting his hands around, sending his feet swinging wildly, knocking into the Uchiha every few seconds.

"If -grunt- you don't stop -grunt- that Inuzuka -grunt- I'll kill you." Sasuke gasped.

"Fuck you!" Kiba grunted, lifting his arm to flip him off and toppling right into the annoyed dark eyed male beside him. The room erupted with laughter as the two became a tangled mess on the floor.

Lee lowered his feet and snapped back onto his feet, laughing triumphantly before toppling over. Gaara's laugh sounded in my ear as he stood and made his way over to me as an argument broke out between the Uchiha and the Inuzuka. "Where's Konohamaru?" He asked.

"In bed." I replied pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Oooooooh!" The room behind us coursed and I flipped them off.

Gaara smiled, a blush staining his cheeks. "Thank you for this." He whispered. "This is amazing." He smiled at our feet giving me the impression he was embarrassed for some reason. "I know, they are all your friends, but… I just feel…" He trailed off, turning to the room and gazing at all the laughing faces.

"Gaara." I took his beautiful slender hand in mine. "They all wanted to be here. I wouldn't be able to keep them away if I tried. You belong here with us." His slight intake of breath was not lost on me. "They all love you." I laughed and threw my arm over his shoulder, pulling him to me. "If I ever did anything to make you sad I can guarantee you that I would be beaten severely." I laughed. The small slip of a man in my arms joined me, taking my breath away.

And I knew he would never stop leaving me breathless.

_Gaara_

I thanked everyone again and again as they left, rowdy and still up for more partying, but respectful of the fact Naruto's son was sleeping in the other room. Hinata pulled me into a hug as she and Kiba slipped out the door, whispering her thanks for coming into her life. Touched by her words, I squeezed her once and let her slip away with her shaggy brunet boyfriend. The door shut behind her and I felt so lucky to have her as a friend. Something else the blond and his son had given me.

The quiet in the apartment seemed a bit more lonely now that it had been so full for hours. Naruto smiled at me from across the living room as he shoved cups into a black garbage bag. I joined him easily, the happy feeling still flowing through my body. I knew the blond had spoken the truth. His friends had opened their arms and embraced me as if I were one of their own. How strange this feeling was to me. How wonderful this feeling seemed. I tied the bag and stretched my arms high over my head, enjoying the soft popping in my joints.

Suddenly hands were on my waist, a soft familiar mouth on my neck, I moaned softly, burying my hands in Naruto's soft golden locks, knowing he would pull away in a moment and leave me longing. "Naruto." I gasped as his hands roamed down to my ass, lifting me into his arms. A feeling like electricity pulsed through my body, making me squirm as his lips found mine.

"Gaara." My name left his lips like a longing wish, arousing me in seconds. He carried me to my room, bumping into walls as he seemed unable to pull his mouth from mine. I ground against him hungrily, the strain in my jeans pressed into his stomach. He shut the door with his foot, throwing us into darkness and pressed me into the bed with his body. His hands swept over my body, pushing my shirt up as I heard his boots hit the floor. I moaned when his thumb brushed over my nipple and his body shuddered above me. "Oh god. You're going to be the death of me." He groaned.

"What brought this on? I gasped as my shirt was slipped completely off of me. I wrapped my arms around his broad muscular shoulders once more.

"You did." He whispered into my ear, nibbling on it gently. "You are officially eighteen. Nothing is going to stop me but you."

His hands tore at my pants as I ripped his shirt up and exposed that deliciously golden flesh. "For heavens sake, please don't stop." I nearly begged as his hands left me to pull his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side, laughing lowly. My hands roamed his exposed chest and back memorizing every inch of the strong muscles I'd fantasized about more often than I'd like to admit. I pushed my shoes off with my feet in a sudden frenzy, needing to have him in me. My shaking hands pulled at the hem of his pants, finding the button and fumbling with it momentarily. They slid down his backside willingly, almost demanding that this act happen. My skin seemed to glow in the moonlight as my hands disappeared into his boxers. I moaned as my suddenly small fingers wrapped around his long hardened member.

"Fuck." He groaned into my neck, his body going rigid as I began to stroke him. "Jesus christ." His mouth opened and clamped onto my neck making me gasp as teeth locked onto me, my back arching up to press against his strong warm body, gripping his erection tightly. I knew there would be a glorious hickey there tomorrow but I couldn't have cared less, I was so lost in the gentle sucking that had replaced teeth on my skin. "Lose your pants." He growled, then gave a slight whimper as I released my hold on his cock to deal with the jeans I was straining so painfully against.

"Roll over." I whispered as I wiggled out of my remaining piece of clothing. He complied without complaint and I ripped his pants from his legs, settling my self in between his legs, clutching on to the engorged member as if it were a life line.

"What are you doing?" He asked between clenched teeth. I laughed at him, lowered my head, placing the condom from his pocket on my lips and took him into my mouth. His legs quivered as I dragged my fingers against his sensitive inner thighs. "Oh, fuck!" He gasped, hips bucking slightly. I swirled my tongue around the rubber, bobbing and humming as he continued to writhe under my touch. My throat relaxed and I took his impressive member into me until I hit the golden curls at the base. "Gaara." He moaned. I grabbed his balls and massaged them gently, letting him buck into my mouth freely, fascinated with the act I had preformed so many times before yet had remained so detached from before. "Gaara… I need you. I need you." He gasped, hands pulling on my arms. I smirked and released him. I climbed up to his face, pushing my lips to his hungrily. He met with so much passion I was left stunned. He ground up into me, hands pumping my dick with an almost urgency. "Fuck. Gaara… I don't know how to do this." he confessed into my mouth.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my ass against his slick cock.

His laugh ended in a moan. "Do I just, like, stick it in?" His voice seemed full of wonder.

"I've got to be stretched first." I moaned out as his hands splayed on my hips, strong thumbs messaging my pelvis.

"Stretched?"

The tone of his voice stopped my grinding in a second. "Yes. Stretched."

"How?" He bit his bottom lip.

"With your fingers… Don't you remember?"

"What?" He looked confused. "Remember?"

"Sasuke said you two… had… well, done this before."

His nose scrunched. "What? No!" He propped himself up on his elbows, making me whimper at the friction the movement cause on my groin. "Sure, we dated but we never got this far. Ever. Did he say we did?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Well, I can guarantee this is a first for me." He whispered, pulling me down for a kiss. "Now tell me what to do and I'll do it."

I licked my lips and climbed off of him. "Let me show you." I whispered. His eyes widened as I slid my fingers into my mouth, coating them thoroughly with my saliva. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped as I grabbed my dick and began stroking it slowly. A soft moan escaped my lips, my eyes never leaving his as my fingers brushed against my entrance. "Naruto." I gasped, my fingers slipping inside. I probed deeper, stretching myself wider and wider, my lips trembling slightly as I quivered under his gaze. He grabbed my cock and began stroking for me and I prepped myself. He capture my mouth suddenly, his free hand pulling me closer to him making my fingers hit my pleasure spot. "Ahhh." The moan bounced off the walls and startled me with it's volume. "Naruto."

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He moaned into my chest. "You are so fucking amazing." His hand left my back and wrapped around the hand that now had three fingers inserted into myself, his fingers brushing my entrance, forcing that electricity through me and again I marveled at how something I'd done so many times before suddenly seemed so new.

"I'm ready." I gasped, needing him in me so bad it was aching deep within me. The blond groaned and pulled me back across him, my body splayed and wanting.

He positioned himself carefully, his gaze never leaving mine until he plunged into me and my head was tossed back. My mouth open wide but no sound leaving it and I was utterly amazed at the feelings washing through me. "God damn it." He grunted. My lips formed his name, but nothing came out. Then he began to move. My back arched as the sounds of bliss left my body, my nails digging into his chest. "Your so beautiful." He moaned, arms reaching up and pulling me to him as he sat up, never breaking rhythm, coating my chest in sucking kisses. "So god damned perfect." My back met the mattress and I cried out. His mouth covered mine so sweetly it nearly broke my heart.

"Naruto." I whispered as he hit my sweet spot. And suddenly the slow pace was abandoned. He slammed into me with a hungry frenzy making me cry out over and over. His name spilled from my lips in between moans and gasps. He answered with grunts and groans, my name whispered frequently. My hands grasped on his strong back, my body arching up to meet his as he lifted me into the air and thrust himself into me again and again. And suddenly, fireworks.

_Naruto_

I couldn't hold myself back, I wanted him so bad it was a need. The feel of him around me, the sound of his voice, the taste of his lips, the sight of his pleasure filled face. All of it bombarded me, my deepest fantasies realized right before me as the pressure that begged to be released built within me. I held it back with all my will slamming myself into him, arms suddenly under his knees, lifting him into the air, our arms the only thing saving us from falling apart. I plunged deeper and deeper knowing that I would soon reach my breaking point, willing him to come. My name suddenly left his lips and his body began to buck against me. A creamy white substance landed on his face in droplets. The sight of it pushed me over the edge and I whispered his name as I came almost violently, thrusting uncontrollably.

We stayed like that, panting and slicked with sweat, semen covering our stomachs, my cock still buried within him, softening, staring at each other. His hair was tangled and more wild than ever, his beautiful blue green eyes misty and half lidded. He was the single most beautiful being I had ever laid my eyes upon. And I loved him. With all my being, I knew that my heart was his and that I had to tell him about his family before it was too late.

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**I can't even describe what happened here. I'm still kind of in shock. The chapter wrote itself and I was just along for the ride. Oh god! I apologize for essentially just sex and not much else. Anyway. _Please_ review. Chew me out if you wish, but I just like reading what you guys have to say about this little story of mine. Your feedback means the world to me.**

**Now! On to chapter thirteen!** -_I make no promises this time-_


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Ah! What's this? Another chapter? In less than a week? Haha! I have no sleeps, so this is a bad idea, but I want to make up for being such a bad updater and I just whizzed through this chapter. Like, it flew from my fingers. I think I lost a lot of readers with my last chapter... Since it was garbage. Damn. I can't write lemons to save my life. Anyway. Enjoy this chapter. No lemons, but crap... it was kind of hard to write -even though it took me no time at all to write it- Since y'all are writers yourselves, I'm sure you know what I mean.  
**

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**Chapter Thirteen**

_Naruto_

My fingers danced across his milky skin, his breathing hitching slightly, and I allowed myself to think it was my touch that had caused it. He hummed in his sleep, pouty pink lips pressing together, awakening my groin. How could a person be so seductive even in sleep? I was so happy, even though my body was stiff with the sleep I wouldn't allow to take me from the sight before me. "Oh, Gaara." I whispered, nuzzling his beautiful crimson hair lovingly and pressed my lips to his forehead before easing myself out of the tiny bed. The beautiful red head rolled over in his sleep, burying his face into the pillow.

I smiled and pulled the comforter over his shoulders, pulling on just my jeans, planning to be back in moments. I couldn't keep myself from humming as I walked into the kitchen, hands stuffed into my pockets, giddier than a child with too much candy. That happiness died a bit when I pulled my hands out and a little ball of paper dropped to my feet. I knew exactly what it was. "Temari's number…" I mumbled, bending down to retrieve it. I opened it carefully, the numbers already memorized but still wanting the paper on me at all times, worried that Gaara would find it and flip.

I glanced at the glowing green numbers on the base of the coffee pot. 3 am. And before I would talk myself out of it, I picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. After the third ring I realized what I was doing and tried to hang up, but couldn't move realizing I hadn't blocked my number. The fifth ring and it rolled over to voice mail. "Hi. You've reached Temari Sabaku. I can't come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm able." There was a pause and I let out a breath, relieved the pleading for her brother or information Sasuke had told me about was no longer there. I moved the phone from my ear and my finger hovered over the end button when her voice had me pressing the phone back to my ear in panic. "If this is Gaara, please come home." Her voice was filled with terror and unshed tears. "We love you. If you have any information on my brother, Gaara Sabaku, please, _please_ leave a number where I can reach you."

My body went numb from the emotion in her voice, the knowledge that if Konohamaru ever went missing my world would cease to exist until he was found again. The pain I would go through. The anger and hurt. I snapped my phone shut just before the beep sounded. I had to tell him. He needed the option. But how? How? Would he accuse me of hiding the number? Would he throw insults my way for digging into a past I knew he wanted no part of? My body ached with the fear what could happen when I told him. Hearing her voice had cemented my decision. No longer if, but when. "Naruto?"

I jammed the phone and slip of paper into my pocket, whipping around and coming face to face with a sleepy, delicious looking eighteen year old wrapped in a comforter standing behind me. "Hey, babe."

"What's wrong?" he asked, his head tilting slightly.

I swallowed hard and tried to hide my fear at what he might've seen or heard. "Just thirsty. I was about to come back and join you after I checked on Konohamaru." I smiled, no lie slipping past my lips but a truth left out. He smiled and slipped past me, pulling two glasses from the cupboard and filling them with water and I felt guilt wash over me at his acceptance of my words without question. I walked to the bedroom and looked in on my little one, sleeping soundly. I kissed his nose then walked back out to join my red head in the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around his thin frame and tried to think of what to say.

He pressed a kiss to my chest and I hummed happily, my groin twitching to life. "Naruto." He mumbled into my chest, before turning around, grabbing my hand and leading me back to his room. As the door clicked shut and his arms wrapped around my neck, I decided it could wait until tomorrow.

Bright, warm sunlight woke me gently. I lay naked in the small bed, the comforter pushed down and just barely covered my lower half, golden curls glistening in the light. I reached down and yanked it up, hand brushing over the tattoo on my abdomen that Gaara had lavished so much affection on just hours before. His lithe body flitted through my mind, glowing in the moonlight, arching as I filled him, perfect pink mouth parted to let those glorious sounds escape. I hopped up before that could settle and pulled on my boxers and pants, thinking about watermelons and dandelions dancing across the surface of the sun and burning up while still dancing and laughing.

Oh god. I cringed and walked into the kitchen, trying to shake a new image from my head. "Papa!" Konohamaru lunged at my legs, nearly sending me over.

"Easy there, baby boy." I laughed, looking around for my red head.

"I is no baby." He huffed and held up four pudgy little fingers. "I dis many now! Dis MANY!"

I laughed. "I get it. I get it. Where's Gaara?"

"Gaawa in bafroom." He replied, clinging to my leg. I smiled and started walking, exaggerating the steps. My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump.

I pulled it out, flipping it open and pressing it to my ear, ignoring the tiny brunets loud laughter. "Naruto speaking."

"Oh…" A terrifyingly familiar voice answered. "Sorry. I missed a call from this number last night." Gaara's sisters voice was filled was disappointment. "I thought… well, I'm sorry I missed your call." Her voice then turned hopeful. "May I ask why you called?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was torn between lying and confessing. _Yes, I was calling to tell you your brother has been living with me since early September. He's my son's nanny and he absolutely adores the teenager you've been searching for for years. We've been dating for less than a month and I had my mind blown by him last night. Oh, and I'm pretty much in love with him._ Yeah. Right. "Yes, I'm sorry about that. I was… trying to reach a friend. I realized my mistake when your voice mail kicked on."

"Oh." Her voice grew small and seemed to break slightly. "Sorry for bugging you then. Um… I'm sorry, but I left quite a few messages. Your voice mail didn't have a greeting so I… I thought you were someone else. Have a good day."

"You do the same." My voice was flat. What had I just done? The dial tone sounded in my ear and I knew she had hung up, but I couldn't close the phone.

"Hey." Gaara beamed at me, appearing suddenly. "Are you alright?" he asked, rushing to me, hands reaching up to my face. Tears had fallen from my eyes and had been sliding down my face.

I turned my head away. "Yeah. I'm good." I dragged my hand down my face and sighed. Even though I'm keeping this huge thing from you and just crushed your sister. Two pairs of eyes stared up at me with a concern I didn't deserve. I slid my phone into my pocket, snatched up Konohamaru and pulled Gaara to me in an embrace. "I'm just so happy is all!" I spun them around, Konohamaru squealing with joy and the red head laughing lightly. I set them back down and the little started spinning in place laughing loudly.

The teenager gave me a look, telling me I didn't fool him but didn't press. "Oh. You're phone has been buzzing for hours. You might want to call them back. From the number of times your voice mail chime went off it must have been important." He pecked me on the cheek, gave me a smile of concern then took off after the toddler. I watched him go and pulled the phone back out, staggering at the sight of twenty missed calls and 19 voice mails. I dialed in my code then pressed the phone to my ear, walking to the coffee pot.

The first, surprisingly, was from Kiba. "Bah chicka wah waaaah!" He practically screamed then cackled like a nut before disconnecting. I laughed in spite of myself then prepared myself for what I knew was coming.

"Hi. This is Temari Sabaku. Um… you called last night but didn't leave a message. I got your number from my caller ID… Call me back at your convenience."

"Um… Temari again… Gaara?"

"Temari here. I'm not trying to be pushy, but if this is Gaara, please come home."

"If this isn't Gaara, I must sound like a nut, but no one has called this number and hung up until recently… So, Gaara, if this is you, _please_ call me."

"I know you may not want to come home, but please just call me and let me know you're okay."

The messages continued, pleading for the red head running around in the living room with my brother, begging and near tears. I listened to them all, pain and hurt washing over me. I couldn't do this. Her pain became mine and I nearly fell to the floor under the weight of it. What had I done? I hung up and dialed a familiar number, praying he would answer. "Sasuke Uchiha." The deep voice rumbled obviously woken from the ringing of his phone.

"Sasuke." My voice broke. I cleared my throat and started over. "I need everything."

He snorted. "You need a properly functioning brain. What are you calling about?"

"I need everything you found on him." I forced my mouth to say the words.

There was a rustling and I knew he was sitting up. "What?"

"I can't hold this back. I need to tell him everything. She left eighteen messages on my phone because I didn't block the number last night when I called. He has to know everything. I need to tell them both the truth." My heart was being squeezed inside my chest and I felt dizzy. What I was so afraid of I couldn't put into words but just feeling it made me want to vomit. Where was the happiness I was feeling hours ago? That bliss… I wanted it back desperately, but I knew I would never have it completely until he knew what I had known for weeks.

"Alright. I've got to run to the office and pick up the paperwork. Give me forty minutes." I snapped the phone shut and laid it on the counter, staring at it, wishing I could go back and never hear Temari's voice, never dialed her number, because it was so much easier when she was nothing but an idea with no emotions.

"Naruto?" I whipped around to see Gaara standing too close for all the emotions rolling through me. His eyes were guarded. A wall set up between us. Had he heard me? Did I say something to reveal what I knew before I was prepared? I pulled him to me and crushed my mouth against his, begging his forgiveness with my lips. My arms locked around him, pleading for him to understand what I was going to tell him in an hours time. I pulled back, gasping for breath. His eyes searched my face, concern and something else swimming in his beautiful eyes. "What's _wrong_?"

I released a long breath. "Stress."

He bit his bottom lip. "Anything I can help with?"

I laughed sadly. "No. This is all my own fault."

"Okay. But remember I'm here for you." He whispered, then cleared his throat. "Konohamaru wants to go to the park and I want to pick up some things from the store. Want to join us?" He asked with a small smile.

I groaned playfully, praying he would buy my acting. "I actually just asked Sasuke for help with something and I've got to wait for him."

"Oh." He looked crestfallen. "We could wait…?"

"Nah. That's alright. You two go ahead." I needed a pep talk from someone who would kick me while I was down but pick me back up again. "I'll be here when you get back." I kissed him again. He smiled up at me and turned to prepare to take the little one out.

I chased the little one around, trying not to think about what would be happening here in this living room later, helping him with his shoes, surprised when he tied them himself. I looked up at Gaara in amazement. "Yeah. We've been working on that." My heart swelled with pride and I ruffled the four year olds hair, praising him. "Alright. We're all set. Ready?" He asked my baby.

"Yay!" He jumped up and let me peck him on the cheek.

I gave Gaara another pleading kiss, praying he would forgive me and understand. He gave me another look of concern and… fear, I realized. I smiled and watched him take the little brunets hand and slip out the door.

_Gaara_

My heart pounded as the conversation I'd overheard in the kitchen replayed in my head.

"_Last night when I called. He has to know everything. I need to tell them both the truth._"

The looks he was giving me, the way he was acting. Something was so very deeply wrong. I could feel it and it scared me so much it was painful. Was he talking about me and another person? Did _I_ have to know something that was causing him so much pain? If so, what could it be? My body was shaking and I felt sick. I thought… I thought he felt the way I did. Did I imagine the connection we made last night? He looked at me so lovingly. I thought maybe might be starting to love me… Because I was so in love with him. If he told me now that we were getting in too deep and he didn't want me anymore I would be lost. I wouldn't know what to do.

No. He cared for me. He didn't care who I had been in the past. He cared for who I was in the moment. I knew that. I just had to believe in him. And Sasuke, the bastard, was coming over to help him with something. It couldn't have anything to do with me. Because I knew in my heart he cared for me. Not love, but he cared. And I had faith in him. Complete faith. I let out a deep breath and lifted the little one. "An I fink I need a puppy." He exclaimed as I tuned back in.

I laughed. "Why?"

"I nono. But they chute."

"That they are." I agreed with a smile, pushing the blonds behavior to the back of my mind.

The four year old was silent for a moment and I set him back down as we reached the other side of the street. His pudgy little hand grasped my fingers and he stared at the sidewalk as we continued towards the park. "Gaawa?" His tentative voice reached me.

"Yes?" I asked, concerned now for the littlest Uzumaki.

"Does you love papa?"

I started, stopping dead in my tracks. "Why do you ask?"

"I nono. You smile more now dat you tiss." A woman walking by raised her eyebrows and smiled, giving me a wink. "An' Moegi say when you is in love, when you tiss them you smile lots."

I laughed softly and blushed slightly. "Moegi sounds like a smart girl."

"She say girls is smarters than boys." He said a bit sadly.

I smiled, face still warm. "Girls are smarter at some things, but boys can be just as smart."

He lifted his face to mine. "Weally?"

"Yes really."

We walked for some time, nearly to the park when he spoke up again. "Well, does you love papa?"

I sighed and leaned down to look him in the eye, ignoring the people passing by. "Konohamaru. I'm not going to lie to you. I do. I love your papa, very very much."

He beamed up at me. "Den I can call you mama?"

"Konohamaru, why do you want to call me your mama?" I asked him seriously, curious about his obsession with calling me mama.

He bit his lip and stared me in the eyes. "Cus I love you. You is just like the mama's I see wif other kids. An' you love me too. You is my mama. I wants to call you it cus you is!" He shouted, tears welling his eyes. My vision blurred slightly. My opinion had never changed. I wouldn't care if he called me mama. I _wanted_ to be his mama. But my relationship with his papa was still too new, to unstable. And though I loved Naruto to my core, I still did not know how he felt completely. I pulled the little boy into my arms and nuzzled him affectionately. He knew exactly what he wanted, he was just waiting for the grown ups in his life to get their shit together.

"Oh, Konohamaru. You can't call me mama." His tears slid down his face and sobs started building in volume. "Maybe someday. Far from now. But you never know, there may be other mama's for you." My heart squeezed painfully as the words left my mouth, but I knew them to be true. If we didn't work out, I was sure the tall blond man would find someone else to love, though it felt as if I never would if it happened. "For now, you need to call me Gaara. Alright?" He hiccupped pitifully and I felt like a horrible being.

I knelt there beside him, trying my best to comfort him, for quite sometime, ignoring the mumbled complaints of those having to walk around us. He finally calmed down and I picked him up. "I sorry." He whispered into my ear.

"For what?" My hand rubbed his back gently, trying to undo the sadness that I had created.

"Crying like a baby."

I smiled. "Crying is good sometimes. Don't you feel better?"

"No." My smile fell a bit.

"Do you want to skip the park and go home?"

"No!" He sounded alarmed and I laughed.

We crunched through the remaining bit of snow on the ground and his sadness seemed to disappear, running around trees, startling birds with his happy laughter. Even my mood lifted, following him about, heading to the playground that was full despite the cold. Many of the women on the benches smiled our way, nodding their heads in greeting, recognizing me from countless times we'd been here before. Konohamaru ran to me and grabbed him and spun him around and around, feeling like a child. He kissed my cheek as we wound to a stop and I nuzzled his nose, loving the child that was in no way mine as if he were my own. His long brown lashes brushed against my cheek with the butterfly kisses Ino had shown the kids the other day. I laughed and returned them, though it was harder because of my shorter lashes. He laughed like it was the best thing in the world, wiggling in my arms as if he were trying to escape.

"What's new, Kitty Cat?"

My back went ramrod straight and my heart fell to the floor at the sound of an old nickname in a familiar voice that shot to my core. I spun around slowly, praying with all my soul it wasn't him. Anyone but him. Black eyes stared at me, a fake smile parting his lips, exposing his teeth. His black jacket was the same, open in defiance to the weather with his shirt still too small to cover his midsection. Black hair dirtied and hanging limply around his face. "Sai…" My breath fogged in the air and I felt myself deflating.

"Thought you were a goner, Cat." His head tilted. "Where, oh where have you been?" His voice felt like syrup on my skin, bad memories flooding me. I felt nothing but scared of him, scared of what he could do to my happiness. Fear clutched me and my arms tightened. "Hello there, little one. What's your name?" He purred, reminding me of a predator watching it's next meal.

I put the four year old down. "Go play." I instructed in a shaky voice.

"Gaawa?" Big brown eyes questioned me, sensing my fear.

I tried my hardest to smile, but knew I was failing by the increasingly alarmed look on his face. "I'll be okay. Just go play, alright?" I finally got my face to work up a smile and he nodded, turning to the playground and running to it, looking over his shoulder at us once. I turned back to Sai, trying to think of something to say to get him to leave me be in my new life.

"Cute kid." He hummed, stretching the 'u' a bit. "Yours, Kitty?"

"No." I looked him in the eyes, trying to keep from shaking and failing. "I just get to watch him."

"Hm? Well, you were the safest of us all. It wouldn't make sense, but he looks just the age he might've been your first time. You must admit that hair has that red tint that makes him seem as if he is yours." I warmed under the compliment despite the lips it had passed through. "Everyone's been saying you died or got picked up by a creep. You had me worried there, Cat."

"I'm fine." I nearly growled.

"I can see that." He chuckled. "You look the best I've ever seen you." He took a step towards me and I immediately backed away, making him laugh again. "I ain't gonna bite. You couldn't afford it." He laughed, loudly, tossing his head back, taking his time to quiet down. His eyes traveled up and down me so slowly I felt self-conscious. "But from the look of you, you might be able to. So _where_ have you been?"

"What do you want, Sai?" I asked, noticing we were gathering a lot of stares and most of them were not happy.

He threw his hands up. "Whoa. Hostile much?" He purred again, eyes narrowing slightly. "I'm just curious about the happenings of an old friend." I felt bad at his words. I did owe Sai for saving me and being a genuine friend during a dark time in my past. "Come and sit. I'm sure you have a story to tell."

I sat beside him, putting a good distance between us, when he sat. His body hung loose on the bench, legs splayed and arms across the back of the seat. Open. An invitation. A display. How I myself had once sat. I let myself fully look at him. His skin was sickly, almost grey, clinging to his bones and his eyes seemed sunken. He looked sick. He looked like he should be in a bed recovering, not exposing himself to the cold air. But he looked exactly the same. Had I looked this way before? I couldn't recall. "How have you been?" I asked, my voice flat, just as it had been when I'd last seen him.

He chuckled again and I remembered he always laughed at everything, as though nothing mattered. I knew it as a defense in other people, but I was never sure if that was true for Sai. "Same old same old. Not enough demand, not enough money, not enough anything." He smiled his creepy smile at me. "But I don't want to talk about me, Kitty Cat, I want to hear about you."

"There isn't much to tell." My head turned towards the park, unnerved by him, my eyes catching Konohamaru immediately.

"I think a reappearance of over five months has a story. Especially since you pop back to life with a child in your company."

"I was saved." I uttered, trying to keep it as vague as possible.

He laughed. "Saved? Do tell."

"That's it." I shrugged.

He made a sound that made me turn back to him. "No one saves _prostitutes_, Gaara. No one." A chill ran down my spine as he spoke my name, fear rising in me again. "Does his mother know of your past?" He gestured towards the jungle gym the little brunet was climbing with another child.

"He doesn't have a mother." I blurted, regretting it instantly when his eyebrows popped up.

"Just a father then." It wasn't a question and he laughed so hard he forced himself into a coughing fit that shook his thin frame violently.

"Yes. Just a father."

He didn't laugh as hard this time. "Does he make you call him 'Daddy'?" He asked, so amused with himself.

Anger spiked within me. "No. It isn't like that."

"Oh. So you haven't slept with him?" My mouth opened but the words slipped away from my mind. I had slept with Naruto. Just last night he had given me what I had craved for for so long. Sai chuckled again at my face. "Then you have. Oh, Gaara, when you learn, prostitutes are good for one thing. And only one."

"I-it's not like that." I stammered, angry once more. "Naruto's a good man. He wouldn't even sleep with me until-"

"You turned eighteen?" He finished for me. "You poor boy. Can't you see? You still look so young, but suddenly legal. I bet he could hardly contain himself!"

There was a cracking sound as my fist connected with the side of his face. His body bent with the force of it and he sat like that for a moment, stunned. My hand throbbed but I couldn't even look at it, standing up. "It isn't like that." I practically snarled. He turned towards me, a curious look in his eyes. "It isn't like that at all. I lo-"

"Love him?" He spat back at me, nearly hopping to his feet. "You fool. You're suffering from Hero Worship! You _love_ him? Don't make me laugh. People like us don't love. Especially with people who aren't us! They are above us. They don't have to do the things that we do to get by. _They_ are nothing like _us_ and could never love any one of _us_!" He was almost screaming at this point and I was sure mothers and nanny's were staring at us with horrified expressions. "You _fool_!" He snarled. His features terrified me and I was shaking uncontrollable.

"But he-"

He cut me off. "There's only one reason _they_ want us around. We give our bodies for money. We are nothing to them. Just a detour on the way home from work. You can bet this 'Naruto' of yours has someone respectable out there for whom he would drop you back on the streets he found you from in an instant. Never forget this-" He yanked off his jacket and exposed his thin and nearly naked body, spreading his arms wide. "is who you really are. You are one of _us_. And someday you will have to come back to us."

"He wouldn't-"

"Oh get real, you child." He took a step towards me and I forced myself not to cower. "Your birthday was… oh, yesterday? I'm sure his just cooking up a way to kick you to the curb as soon as he can now that he has gotten what he wants."

The conversation I'd heard pulled back to me, washing over me in waves, trying to drown me. "_Last night when I called. He has to know everything. I need to tell them both the truth._" The moment he'd slipped his phone into his pocket last night when I'd caught him in the kitchen. I pushed against it, trying to force it away from me, trying with all my heart to deny the words he was speaking. "No… no… He…" my lips trembled and he smiled, knowing he had won.

"We all want that fantasy. All of us. But our only family is the one we have is in our comrades on the street." I hated that he kept grouping me in with them. Us. Our. And I hated that I was believing him so completely. My head kept shaking no but he continued. "You know. You can tell. He's already started pushing you away. Making you feel like you don't belong in their world."

"No." I pleaded. "No."

"You should leave now. Now while some of your pride is still intact." He smiled, but it was sad, as if he regretted having to be the one to wake me up to what was happening. "You should leave before he makes you leave."

"NO! YOU LEAVE MY MAMA ALONE!" Konohamaru screamed, hurtling himself at Sai, pounding on him with his little fists. "NO NO NO! MAMA NO LEAVE ME AND PAPA! NO NO!" I picked the four year old up and pulled him to my chest, trying to calm his sobbing.

Sai frowned and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry there was a child involved in this. But Gaara, you've got to know I'm speaking the truth. I can see it in your face."

"YOU LEAVE US ALONE! BAD MAN! BAD!" The little brunet screamed and tears formed in my eyes.

Sai shrugged his shoulders and turned to leave. "See you around, Kitty Cat. And soon from the look on your face."

I stood there, watching him as he left the park, trying my hardest to console the child in my arms. I glanced around as he disappeared around a corner, met by looks of horror and disgust. "We don't belong in their world." I whispered, tears chilling my face more than the coldest winter.

_Naruto_

"But what if he doesn't understand?" I asked my friend miserably, voicing my worst fear. "What if he leaves because of this?" I trembled.

Sasuke let out a deep breathe and closed his eyes. My hands reached up and slid down my face, anxious and frightened. "I'm not going to lie. I don't think he _will_ understand, Naruto. I think, just from the time I've been around him, he's so guarded that this will shake him. I think he'll be angry." He picked up a sheaf of paper and examined it. "He was abused so much for so little, I think his trust is not easily earned and he will feel betrayed." I moaned, regretting this decision for the hundredth time since my oldest friend had walked through the door with a folder that, despite its plain appearance, could be my greatest mistake. "But you need to reassure him that I did this. I did this without your knowledge and that I thought he should know his family is searching for him. This is all my doing."

"Sasuke. He's not going to believe me. I know it. I just know it. What am I going to do if he leaves?"

"You aren't going to let him. If he runs, I know you'll follow. If he hits you and screams at you, I know you'll take it all and comfort him when the anger leaves and fear replaces it. I know you will, because that's how you are when you love someone." I looked up at him and he smirked. "You can't hid it from me. Out of everyone, I will always be able to tell."

"I'm pretty scared." I mumbled, blushing a bit.

"Really? Couldn't tell." He snorted.

I flipped him off. "Shove it up your ass, prick."

"Moron."

"Cocksucker."

"Twat." He smiled and I trembled slightly. "It'll be fine. You will handle this and you will come through on top. You're too persistent to lose. I know it."

"I just wish I knew it."

He gave me a genuine smile and put the papers back in the folder, rising to his feet. "Do you need me to stay with you?" He asked. "I can help you explain."

I was tempted to take him up on the offer, wanting support in what I was about to do. "No. I need to do this alone. After Konohamaru goes down for his nap. I need to do this on my own." He patted me on the shoulder, wished me luck and left quietly.

My heart seemed to be doing double time waiting for my two to get home, praying they would hurry and wishing they would be delayed. I stared at the wall in agony. The pain was almost physical. What I would confess to my red head once he walked through the door and laid Konohamaru down for his nap could ruin the relationship we had. I could destroy my own world. I could still go back on it. Destroy the papers and go on pretending nothing had happened, but I knew I wouldn't. Not only could I not keep up pretending, staying on my toes every second of the day. But I also couldn't lie to him that long. It would just be harder the longer I waited for the 'right' time. Harder and harder until he refused to ever look at me again. Until he refused to ever try to love me. And I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to love me so much it hurt.

I didn't want to ever give him doubt of my love and though I knew it was too soon, I would tell him those three words after I delivered the news of his family. And I hoped to god that it would be enough to convince him I needed him to believe me. That I needed him.

I jumped at a knock on the door, nearly falling out of my seat. I stood up and calmed my heart. Gaara would've just walked in with Konohamaru. It didn't make sense for him to knock. Unless his hands were full… He did say he needed some things from the store. I shook my head. No. It was probably Sasuke. He must have forgotten something. Ah! I spotted the black leather gloves and lifted them from the counter, thinking how unlike him it was to forget anything, let alone something to help him brave the cold that he hated with a passion. Probably because it reminded him so much of himself. I smiled at my little joke and headed towards the door where the knocking sounded out again. "Hey, for-" My voice died in my throat as I pulled the door open and stared at the person standing on the other side of it.

"Naruto." Sakura sobbed, tears streaming down her face. I was frozen in place. She was the last person I would've expected to be standing at my door. She pressed herself against me. "Naruto. I'm so sorry." Her hands clutched my shirt as her shoulders shook.

"Sakura?" I asked dumbly, my mind trying to keep up. "What are you doing here?"

Her arms wrapped around my waist and she tilted her head back, turquoise eyes nearly drowning in the tears streaming down her face. "Please forgive me!"

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to say all those awful things. These past few months have been hell for me." She sobbed. "I love you Naruto. I really love you, so much that I can't sleep or eat. I don't know what to do. Please."

My heart gave a painful squeeze for the pink haired girl I used to love. "I forgive you. For all of it. I promise. Just please calm down."

"You do?" Her eyes lit up and a smile tilted up the corners of her lips. "You forgive me?"

I looked down the hallway nervously. "Come inside."

She refused to let go of me completely as I ushered her in. "Thank you, Naruto. Thank you."

"You're welcome?"

"So you do?"

My brow crumpled in confusion. "Do what?"

She laughed and shoved me playfully. "Love me too." Her eyelashes fluttered and a blush stained her cheeks.

My mouth dropped open. "No!" Her bottom lip trembled and the tears built up in her eyes. And I felt bad about my quick denial and volume. "I forgive you but, I'm sorry. I don't love you like that."

"But Naruto, I've changed. I can be whatever you want me to be." I turned away and walked towards the living room, the woman following on my heels. "You used to love me!" She wailed. "You used to want to be with me all the time! Love doesn't just go away!" She caught me by the arm and spun me around. "I don't understand. It doesn't just go away!"

I sighed and my heart gave a squeeze. "But it does fade."

Her eyes dimmed, as if I'd flipped a switch behind them. "No. No it doesn't. Not the love you had for me. It didn't fade through high school or college. You loved me for so long, you wouldn't let our love fade. You couldn't!"

"Sakura. Calm down. Please." I placed my hands on her shoulders, trying to reach this person I had never seen in her before. It scared me. "Sakura. I don't love you like that. You are my friend." Her head shook back and forth. She wasn't going to believe me, I realized. No matter what I said, she would keep on believing that I loved her. I took a deep breath and said the words I'd yet to say aloud. "I'm in love with Gaara." She froze, her face filled with shock, though I filled with happiness. "I love him. So much. I love him so much I'm ready to ruin our relationship to tell him something that could take him away from me. Konohamaru loves him and that just makes me love him more."

"Naruto…" She gasped. "Do you know what your saying? He's a prostitute. A whore. He has sex with strangers for money!"

"Not any more. That is in his past and it will stay there forever. Because I am going to love him forever. I will love him even after he has had enough of me and leaves me. That's the kind of love I have for him." As these words sunk in, she began to shake with rage, her breathing increasing and rising in volume. Then flung herself at me, lips crushing against mine, arms wrapped around my neck. My hands clawed at her arms, trying to pull her from me, startled at her strength.

Something thudded to the floor and she pulled back, turning towards the door. Fear clawed through me in seconds, my mouth drying and my tongue shriveled in my mouth, and I turned to see the beautiful red head standing in the door, clutching my sons hand, hurt distorting his face.

"Gaara."

_Gaara_

The sight ripped my heart to shreds. The pink haired woman had her arms around Naruto, her mouth tilted up in triumph. The blond man wore a look of horror, frozen in her arms. Sai's words came back to me in a flood. _"There's only one reason they want us around. We give our bodies for money. We are nothing to them. Just a detour on the way home from work. You can bet this 'Naruto' of yours has someone respectable out there for whom he would drop you back on the streets he found you from in an instant. Never forget this is who you really are. You are one of us. And someday you will have to come back to us." _I was a fucking moron. So fucking stupid to believe in a fairytale.

I released Konohamaru's hand, turned and ran.

"_**They**__ are nothing like __**us**__ and could never love any one of __**us**__."_

My feet slapped against the stairs loudly as they passed in a blur, my heart obliterated, the shards twisting into me with a pain I hadn't felt in a long time. I flew through the door and on to the street in so much pain I was surprised I wasn't on the ground. I dodged the startled people walking down the sidewalk, all of them hastily stepping to the side to let me pass. And I was struck by my wanting of someone to step in, hold me and ask me what was wrong. How cold the city made people.

A hand shot out and jerked me to a stop, nearly knocking me off my feet. I whirled around to come face to face with Sasuke Uchiha. I knew I was sobbing. I knew I was hideous. I didn't care. "What?" I screamed at him. "Did Naruto invite you over to see this!?" I jerked my hand from his grasp.

"No. He didn't want me to be there when he told you." He muttered, his face frozen in shock.

"So everyone knew?!"

He shook his head, regret filling his face. "No one knew but Kiba and myself."

"So the three of you had a good laugh behind my back." I threw my hands wide and spun around once. "Come on! Lets all laugh at the whore!" People gasped and tried to look anywhere but at me.

The raven haired mans coffee fell to the ground, splashing on his feet, soaking his pants. "I'm sorry… I didn't think you would take it this way."

I laughed bitterly. "You thought wrong." I spat.

"I shouldn't have told him to tell you. This is all my fault."

"No. Thank you." I lowered my arms and backed away from him, not caring or thinking of the people behind me. "Thank you for not letting me waste my time, my heart is fucking gone, but at least I have my time!" I laughed again, turned and ran, praying the streets would end me as quickly as they could.

* * *

**Ouch. This is the chapter I was fearing. The return of Sai and Sakura and the destruction of a relationship. I actually hadn't planned on writing this one so soon, but I couldn't make Naruto suffer with knowledge for two more chapters, so I'm disregarding the outline. That doesn't bode well. Sorry to those of you who wanted Naruto to tell him and it work out. It was never in the plan to actually let Naruto tell him, this was always how it was going to be. And poor Sai. He honestly believes he's helping Gaara out and saving him. Sorry... Anyway, I hope you... enjoyed(?) this chapter. See you next time. **-hopefully someones sticks around for next time. Haha. Too bad I'm serious...-


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